After School in the Teacher's Lounge

Rating: ½ Rampages

Episodes seen: 2 of 2

Synopsis:
Kazama and Kawase are teachers. Kazama (the seme) has the hots for Kawase (the uke) and comes on to him. Uke is confused by Seme's advances but strangely drawn to him (ooooh, what a surprise). A few angsty things happen, including a BLIND DATE WITH A GIRL *gasp!* and the ensuing rather bland emotional torment for our two protagonists. And then it's over.

Review:
Herself the Elf sez: The title sounds so promising, doesn't it? Makes you wonder just what *does* go on after school in the teacher's lounge....well, according to this anime, absolutely nothing. This has to be hands down the dumbest, most boring yaoi I've ever seen. How did it suck? Let me count the ways...

First, only by using a lot of imagination could one call it an 'anime', seeing as it was barely even animated. Pans, still shots with voice-over or music, and sliding cels abounded. I swear, the amount of actual cel animation was in even lower ratios than in the old Spiderman cartoon; occasionally somebody's mouth or hand would move a bit, but that's pretty much all. Often they didn't even bother to animate the mouths when people were talking, making one wonder if gay boys have telepathic powers. Pretty much the only enjoyment the Fanboys and I got out of this pile of dreck was by trying to spot the scattered incidents of actual *animation*. And to top it all off, a lot of the time they didn't even bother to draw backgrounds, as in the magical 'shower-dimension' scene (Uke is showering, but there's no actual shower stall drawn, just a flat blue background with weird sparkles). I think they spent all of five dollars making this thing.

The drawing itself was unbelievably bad, with characters constantly changing shape into bizarrely deformed freaks, making me wonder if it was drawn by a bunch of terriers. Voice acting was tolerable and included Hikaru Midorikawa as Uke-boy, but even he sounded bored; the music was by Norihiro Tsuru, who also did the very nice music from Heroic Legend of Arislan...which is surprising, because the music here was so low-key it barely even registered.

But what it all comes down to is the fact that Afterschool in the Teacher's Lounge was interminably boring. If the problem with X was that they took dozens of volumes' worth of material and crammed it into a 90-minute movie, then this show was the exact opposite; it's like they pulled 2 pages out of a crappy yaoi manga and stretched it out into 2 episodes. Almost nothing happens, and although it could possibly be considered a virtue that they avoided the high-Gothic melodrama of Zetsuai and its ilk, I don't think that having virtually no story at all is an improvement. By the time we got through to the ending credits (with obligatory cheesy soft j-rock that seemed to go on for a million years), we were ready to stab ourselves in the eyes with a fork.

Even if it had been actually *animated*, it still would have sucked. To be avoided (except perhaps as MST material or a spot-the-animated-cels drinking game).

Availability:
I'm astounded that somebody actually bothered to fansub this pointless mess, but Scorpinok Productions (who names their fansubbing group after a Beast Wars character?) did. I mean, I want more yaoi translated too, but I'm not THIS desperate...

Updated 07-12-01