[Fanboys! Docufic: The Making of "Senshi Muyo!"]
Chaos' hair frizzled as he slowly turned his head around to behold his eternal rival (at least, in his mind anyways). "I know that voice...and I know the lake god that voice has in her dorm room! Beans, what are you doing here?! "
"Unlike some self-inserted characters I was invited," Beans evenly replied.
"I invited her here," Michelle spoke up. "Now be nice, Chaos."
Chaos hoisted a cow over his head. "Only when she realizes that her life will find meaning when I have the lake god as my mascot!"
Abruptly a Babbit from Child's Toy bounded in between Chaos legs. "What the?" he remarked, staring down at the little critter. However in being distracted Chaos reverted into SD mode and thus was crushed by the cow seconds later.
Sarcasm: [dressed in a nightie] "*Yawn!* Yare yare, what's with all the super-deformed noise out here? Zel-chan and I can hardly even hear ourselves panting."
Pesti: o.O "A-Ano...."
Dark Mayhem: [pointing to the floor] "The reason's down there, Sarcasm."
Chaos: [from beneath the oversized octopus] "Dammit, these sucker marks had better come out of my fuku!"
Sarcasm: "Ah, I've arrived just in time."
Chaos: [kawaii kitty ears popping up] "For what?"
Sarcasm: "To see you set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public."
Anarchy: "Amazing how he can work it into his schedule on an hourly basis, ne?"
[Fanboys! Christmasfic, Part 3]
"This is all *your* fault, you realize, Chaos," Beans said, turning to Chaos with a rather unimpressed look on her face.
"My fault?!" Chaos exclaimed, launching into an irate SD rant. "Well if you had let me have the lake god at the very beginning of the series none of this would have happened!"
Beans smacked her forehead. "Are you just naturally an idiot savant, Chaos, or did it require training first? You're the only moron I know who managed to screw up a gratuitous self-insertion fanfic they starred in!"
"That's quite an impressive feat," Polaris remarked to Mayhem.
Mayhem simply shrugged. "Personally we think Chaos managed to turn it into an artform. Him and Desolation are natural smite magnets when it comes to things falling out of the sky for no apparent reason."
"Ha!" Chaos sneered. "And just what could you possibly come up with to try and upstage our resident insanity, Beans?"
Beans: [evil glare] "Ophelia, unleash the "Shake Your Booty" ChibiChibi robot."
[Cue the frighteningly realistic ChibiChibi robot. The music for "Shake Your Booty!" is suddenly heard!]
ChibiChibi robot: [Shake shake shake!] "Chibi!"
Chaos: "KYAAAAAAAA!!!!! GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY!!!"
Carnage: [eyebrow twitch!] "Beans, just what possessed you to unearth that thing in the first place?"
Beans: "You'd be surprised what you find lying around in the dark corners of the Sailor Moon fanfiction sites on the Net."
Ophelia: [elbowing Beans] "Ne, didn't you mail-order that creation from Anarchy?"
Beans: "And your point being...?"
ChibiChibi robot: [Shake your booty!] "Chibi!"
Chaos: o.O "RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!!!!"
Chaos: [grrrr!] "Curse you, Beans! I have only begun to fight!"
Carnage: "And yet, somehow we all know how the Bean Wars will end."
Pesti: [sigh!] "Hai hai."
[Everyone steps away from Chaos.]
Chaos: "Is anyone else here getting a really bad premonition about the next line?"
[Cue the terrified flying octopi!]
Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
Terrified flying octopi: *SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT!!*
Dark Mayhem: "Looks like love at first sight to me, Chaos."
Chaos: "Hush Uber Exploder Newt-boy, and help get these things offa me!"
Anarchy: "Let me help!"
[Anarchy pulls out Fuma's enormous sword!]
Anarchy: "Sashimi for everyone!"
Terrified flying octopi: [with signs!] *TASUKETEEEE!!!"
* * *
[Ophelia and the Gargoyle, Christabel, barge into the fanfic.]
Ophelia: [sigh of relief] "We made it before the fic is over. No thanks to you, by the way."
Christabel: [shrugs] "If you'd remembered to buy Pocky before coming here, we wouldn't have had a problem, would we?"
Ophelia: "WE?! Who is this we?! I was fully set to come to the fanfic and because YOU couldn't stand going anywhere without Pocky we had to stop! And look, we're delaying the fanfic now!"
Christabel: "And whose fault is that?"
Ophelia: [ >=| ] "We'll discuss that later. Anyhow, I wanted to remind the kind readers that we are nothing more then pawns to their mutual insanity. We're innocent, completely innocent, oh yes we are."
[Beans pops into the scene!]
Beans: "Ophelia! I've been looking for you! We've got to rouse the net, war is about to break out!"
Christabel: [munching on pocky] "And who's fault is that?"
Beans: "Who asked you, you over grown pebble!"
[Beans kicks Christabel, then notices that she weighs significantly more then a pebble.]
Beans: "AAAHHH! My foooooot!"
Christabel: [unaffected and still eating pocky] "Serves you right."
[Ophelia takes the opportunity to try to escape without being drafted into the insanity, but is noticed before she can slip through the >door.]
Beans: "Where are you going? You've got to help me. We're gonna get that walking advertisement for Prozac once and for all!"
Ophelia: [backing away slowly] "I think I'll sit this one out..."
* * *
Greenbeans presents: THE QUIZ (hey, she warned you!)
Part I: Fill in the blank
1) Beans doesn't like Chaos because he tries to steal her ____ ___.
2) Beans' weapon of choice for smiting Chaos is _______.
3) Chaos does not learn because he is a ____ing idiot whose skull is too ____ing thick for any ideas to ____ing saturate into it.
Part II: Multiple Choice
1) Chaos is best dressed in:
A) A fuku
B) A black silk teddy
C) A straight jacket
2) Chaos' favorite thing to eat is:
C) The floor
D) Cream Lemon
3) Chaos will catch a clue when:
A) The Bean Wars are over
B) The series is over
C) 10 years have passed
D) Evolution will give up on him before he catches a clue
If Chaos was punted south at 40mph and Beans tossed an octopus from the
west at 35mph, what are the chances that they *won't* intersect no
matter how many obstacles are between the two projectiles?
^-^ Tee hee!
And this is merely the beginning of the Bean Wars....
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