Chaos's eyebrow twitched.
"I believe it's impossible," the one with glasses said.


Pesti: "What? Us actually getting self-gratuitous moments?"

Carnage: "Hysteria's IQ reaching into a two-digit figure?"

Dark Mayhem: "Chaos writing a good fanfic?"

Chaos: ^^ "Hai! Like me actually writing a good--HEY!!!"

Bedlam sighed and turned off the TV with her remote control.
"HEY!" Chaos yelled. "What are you doing with the remote control of the gods?"


Chaos: "Hai! Give that remote back to me! I'm the only one who can use it properly!"

*CLICK!*

Dark Mayhem: "So...think we'll ever see Chaos again?"

Carnage: "In one piece?"

Pesti: "Doubtful. So...popcorn?"

Fanboys: ^^ "Hai!"

"What do you mean, 'remote control of the gods'? It's a normal remote control! It changes channels! What more do you want?" Bedlam asked. She turned to the one wearing glasses and the jacket proudly announcing 'MAYHEM'. "Who are you?"

Ami: [snuggling up next to Dark Mayhem] "He's my Carrot-chan...so back off!"

Dark Mayhem: ^-^ "I soooo love her. Ami-chan, baby, come to the uber exploder fanboy!"

[Dark Mayhem dips the fair and innocent Ami-chan backwards. She in turn pulls him down by his collar and passionately kisses him!]

Chaos: o.O "With tongue."

Pesti: [eyebrow twitch!] "Just what part of her is supposed to be innocent, anyways?"

Carnage: "Ne, shouldn't his faulty dating chromosome be--"

*FWOOSH!!!*

Carnage: --;; "--kicking in?"

Chaos: [torched li'l otaku] "There has got to be some way to fireproof their trysts."

He sighed. "I'm Lord Mayhem, the one in SD mode is Lord Chaos, the one next to me is Underlord in training, Pestilence, or Pesti-chan, and the pervert is Lord Havoc."

Havoc: "Call me Hentenno-sama!"

"Call me Hentenno-sama!" Havoc announced.

[The fanboys abruptly look around the room.]

Pesti: "Is there an echo in the fanfic?"

Carnage: "Only in Chaos' head."

Chaos: "Hey, I resent that. My head holds more than one echo! (o.O) Waaaaaait a minute...!"

"And, might I add, you're wearing such lovely silken treasures today. Lacy, too, might add."

Dark Mayhem: "Looks like we've lost another babe's panties again."

Pesti: "I'd vote it was a lost cause to begin with."

Desolation: "Tasukete! I'm lost!"

Carnage: [blink blink!] "Can we get any non-sequitur here?!"

Havoc: ^-^ "Panties!"

Carnage: [groan!] "I stand corrected. But you'll be lucky to be standing at all when I'm through with you, Havoc!"

[Carnage punts Havoc through the ceiling with the Gunbuster!]

Pesti: "Why do we even bother repairing the ceiling when you just keep punching holes through it, Carnage?"

Chaos: ^^ "And for once, I'm left still standing!"

[Cue the cow that falls from the sky for no apparent reason and smites Chaos!]

Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

Dark Mayhem: [looking down at Chaos] "You were saying?"

Bedlam shrieked as she felt a cool breeze. "HENTAI!" she yelled, punting him out of the room.

Carnage: [evil smile] "Saaay! If this is before F5!, then that means Havoc can't explode in Cream Lemon if I smite him!"

Havoc: ^-^ "Oro?"

Carnage: "BUSTER BEEEEEEAAAAAMMM!!!!"

*SPLOOT!*

Dark Mayhem: --;; "Ano...Dragu Slave-happy boy? We only *discovered* in F5! that Havoc could do that. Beforehand we just mildly punted him."

Pesti: [sigh!] "Carnage no baka."

Carnage: [teary Bambi eyes!] "It was...a good dream while it lasted though. Ne?"

Chaos looked at the stopwatch. "Wow, it took him three and a half minutes to attempt to steal your panties," he said. "He must be slowing down.

Havoc: [with Video Girl Ai-chan's panties!] "She held me back for that long? What stamina! We could use a girl like her at Planet Hentai's Jello wrestling pit."

Chaos: "Where did you get that?!"

Dark Mayhem: "You're asking *him*?"

Chaos: --;; "Good point."

Pesti: [groan!] "And to think I have to continue costarring with these people until the end of series."

"Sugoi," Bedlam whispered, staring at the Havoc-shaped hole in the ceiling. "I could never do that before." She stared at the fanboys. "Did you--Mayhem? Did you say you were 'Lord' Mayhem?"

Dark Mayhem: "Our reputation precedes us."

Carnage: "I can see the fear in her eyes now."

Pesti: "Because her insurance rates are about to skyrocket as fast as Havoc after you've punted him?"

Chaos: [indignant] "We're just normal fanfic characters. What about us could possibly terrify a fellow otaku that much?"

Dark Mayhem: "She just read your Tekkaman Blade Runner Chaosfic?"

Chaos: "Hush, Newt-boy!"

He nodded.
"Lord of Mass Destruction?"


Carnage: "And Sailor Dragqueen."

Chaos: ^-^ "Hai! And--HEY!!!"

"Hai!" Chaos said. "We're all lords of Mass Destruction except for Pesti-chan. He needs a better smite than those cabbages," he said in a confidential whisper to Bedlam.

Pesti: [eyebrow twitch!] "Might I add that now I've got a Rumblequake smite far better than whatever umbrella this moron pulls out from behind his back."

Chaos: "Ha! You're just trying to make yourself look good in front of Bedlam!"

Pesti: "Since when did I become a part of your deluded fantasies?!"

Chaos: "You seem awfully agitated for this. I can only mean one thing: you're having an affair with Bedlam behind Mako-chan's back! Now I am the only boyfriend for her!"

Pesti: o.O "I WHAT?!"

Chaos: ^-^ [bounding off] "Mako-chaaaaaan!"

Pesti: [priming a Rumblequake] "Shin'ne."

For no real reason, a barrage of cabbages fell on Chaos's head.

Pesti: [looking down at the twitching remains o' Chaos] "Oh, I'd say he got smited for a damned good reason. I would never cheat on *my* Mako-chan!"

Dark Mayhem: "What about the 'Naga grope' incident?"

Pesti: "Hush, uber exploder Newt-boy!"

For no other reason, a cow fell on top of Pesti-chan and made a kawaii Pesti-chan/cow shaped hole in the floor.

Chaos: "Ha ha! See, you are a mere underlord in training, Pesti-chan! You will never outsmite me!"

Pesti: "Okay, that's it! No more Mr. Nice Ingenue! RUMBLEQUAKE!!!"

Dark Mayhem: "Any reason he just decided to Rumblequake himself?"

[Cue the Zoantropy transformation!]

Chaos: o.O [looking way way up!] "Ano...."

*SQUISH!!!*

Bedlam's eyebrow developed a NASTY twitch. "Ano...Isn't Mass Destruction supposed to be done OUTSIDE of my home? Like, in TOKYO?"

Carnage: "We've been forced to move our offices. We've already blown up everything in Tokyo."

Dark Mayhem: "What's this 'we' thing, Mister Hard-on-for-a-Satellite-Strike?"

Carnage: "What? Everybody knows Tokyo will always rebuild itself into a sprawling techno-advanced megapolis within the next 20 years."

Dark Mayhem: "Well it can't do that if you keep blowing it up every four days, now can it?

Red Queen Mako-chan: [whipping Pesti-chan!] "Kamui-chan, you're all mine now!"

Zoantropied Pesti: o.O "JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA!!!!!"

"But that's where we are!" A kawaii SD Chaos said, sprouting kawaii cat's tails and ears.

Chaos: [with kawaii kitty ears] "Hey! What's so bad about me sprouting kitty ears?"

Dark Mayhem: "Other than attracting unwanted attention?"

Chaos: "Such as?"

[Cue the dog demon Inu Yasha!]

Inu Yasha: [chasing after Chaos!] "BARK BARK BARK!!!"

Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

Carnage: "Looks like love at first sight to me."

"Baka," Mayhem sighed. "Look outside the window. Do you *see* the Tokyo tower?"

Carnage: "Well, out of our window, we do."

Pesti: "That...and...and just why has Chaos been cornered on top of the fridge by some dog demon in a kimono?"

Dark Mayhem: "Do you really want to know?"

Pesti: [groan!] "No. I'm sore enough from the whipping Mako-chan gave me."

Chaos looked outside. "NO!!! I'VE LEFT MY MAKO-CHAN!!"
"*WHOSE* MAKO-CHAN??" the demonic air of Pesti-chan thundered.


Chaos: "She's MY babe, you two-timing Super-deformed twit! Mako-chan, come to Chaos!"

Pesti: [throwing a stick atop the fridge] "Fetch, boy!"

Inu Yasha: [clawing at the freezer door] "Bark Bark!!!"

Chaos: o.O "No! Bad dog demon! Sit! SIT!!!"

"Weren't there four of you?" Bedlam questioned, flicking away her sweatdrop-which landed on Mayhem. The newt was not very impressed.
Bedlam stared. "Er...three of you?"
The newt held up a sign saying 'I have survived the Spring of Drowned Newt'.


Newt Schneider: --;; *I am not impressed.*

Carnage: "Hey, we all survived Jusenkyo after that damned F8! Omake theatre. I'm just glad those transformations weren't permanent."

Pesti: "Carnage, there appears a naughty tentacle wriggling out from your jacket."

Carnage: [quickly stuffing said tentacle in behind him] "You saw nothing."

[Cue the lost Miyuki-chan!]

Lost Miyuki-chan: "TASUKETEEEEEE!!!"

Chaos: [waving] "Hey Desolation! Heeeey!"

[Cue the entire & incredibly oversexed cast of Clamp's Wonderland!]

Chaos: o.O "Yo."

Wonderland babes: "Miyuki-chan, come and play with us!!"

Lost Miyuki-chan: "Where's that Eye of Foggler when I actually need it for once?!"

Havoc: [bounding after the underdressed female mob] "Desolation! Save me a panty or sixteen!"

"Sugoi! A Jusenkyo transformation!" Bedlam immediately found a pan-dimensional pot of warm water and spilled it over Mayhem.

Dark Mayhem: [totally soaked] "So this is what it's like to be a load of laundry in the rinse cycle."

Ami: ["suckerfishing" Mayhem] "Then allow me to steampress all those wrinkles out, Carrot-chan."

Dark Mayhem: o.O

*FWOOSH!*

"Don't ask about Havoc. You don't want to know. He's probably trying to steal A-ko's and B-ko's underwear," Pesti-chan informed her.

Havoc: [yawn!] "Been there, fondled that."

[Pesti-chan facevaults!]

Chaos: "Polaris and Vega are supposed to look like those two. What about them?"

Havoc: "Oh, I've still got their chastity belts hanging from Planet Hentai's disco ball!"

[Chaos facevaults!]

Bedlam facevaulted.
"So, where are we?" Mayhem asked.
"My living room...which is not exactly...an Anime..." she said.


[Cue Chaos with his kawaii little kitty ears being chased by Inu Yasha!]

Chaos: [frantic li'l SD mode!] "Sit!!"

Inu Yasha: "Bark bark!"

Chaos: "Stay!"

Inu Yasha: "Bark Bark!"

Chaos: "Don't think I won't have you neutered!"

Carnage: [turning to Mayhem] "That's not really Anime either, is it?"

[Cue the SD Chaos and SD Inu Yasha both being chased by Tora, the tiger demon!]

Tora: [evil smile] "LUNCH!!"

Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAA!!!"

Inu Yasha: "Yip yip yip!!"

Chaos: o.O "Get offa me, you stupid demonic chihuahua!!"

Carnage: ^-^ "Now *that's* Anime!"

Mayhem, Pesti-chan, and Chaos finally explained to their story, during which there was a lot of SD-reverting, facevaulting, and (No, not panty-stealing, you ecchi!) sweatdropping.

Havoc: "Not until she read my latest Havocfic: Magic Knights ReiRei!"

[Cue the facvaults!]

Chaos: "Could your fics get any lamer, Havoc?!"

Carnage: "You're one to talk."

Havoc: "Well I admit it's not Sakura Hentaisen, but you haven't seen my newest project yet: an exhaustive 4-part opera!!"

Chaos: "Ha! My Princess Army Wedding Peach Combat Chaosfic could clean that opera in no-time flat. Out of morbid curiosity, what's your opera called?"

Dark Mayhem: [nonchalantly reading a manga] "Ring of the Nippleungen."

Chaos: o.O

[Cue the facevaults!]

Pesti: [with his head stuck in the floor] "And just how would you know that?!"

Dark Mayhem: "Who do you think's financing its Japan Tour?"

"Ano...," Bedlam said when they were finished. "Since you're all Lords of Mass Destruction, could you...um...give me a few pointers on how to smite people?" she asked hopefully.

Carnage: "Use lots of mechas. Oh, and Dragu Slaves! Always Dragu Slaves!"

Havoc: ^-^ "Anyone care for some Jello?"

Carnage: [eyebrow twitch!] "......"

Mayhem: "But if it involves Havoc, then you might as well surrender you and your panties now."

"If you're asking Chaos, you're more likely to learn how to *get* smited," Mayhem noted.
"Hai!" Chaos exclaimed. "If you ask me, you're more likely to-HEY!"


Pesti: "Well, it's true."

Chaos: "Since when?"

[Cue the battle submarine, Super Atragon, dropping from the sky and smiting Chaos for no apparent reason!]

Carnage: "Since Anarchy showed up."

Anarchy: 'Don't mind me; I'm just here to raid the Sake supplies and randomly kick someone's ass on a whim."

A half-hour later, the Fanboys (minus Havoc,) and Bedlam stood in her backyard. Chaos was instructing her on how to use the smites.
"Concentrate on the smite," he cautioned her. "Picture it in your mind."


Pesti: "Does anyone have the slightest idea what the hell's going on here?"

Dark Mayhem: "Not a clue. Popcorn?"

Pesti: "Hai!"

Havoc: "Jello?"

Carnage: "Give me thaaaaat! What, no spoon?"

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