Bedlam closed her eyes. "Okay..."
A teaspoon fell out of the sky and landed on Chaos's nose.
Fanboys: [sweatdrop!] "......"
Carnage: "I wasn't talking to you, Bedlam."
Hysteria: ^-^ "Oooh! Teaspoon-chan! Teaspoon-chan!"
Chaos: "What are you doing back here?"
Hysteria: [tee hee!] "Kawaii little contractual obligation-chans!"
"Is that okay?" Bedlam asked brightly.
The Fanboys sweatdropped.
"A *teaspoon*?" Pesti-chan said, laughing. "That's more pathetic than Chaos' herring smite!"
Havoc: "Alright then, Bedlam; I'll let you spank me all night long just because you were such a good sport about it!"
Chaos: [smacking his forehead] "Would it kill you to think of something other than perverted thoughts for just once in your life?!?!"
Carnage: [with his F-91 Gundam!] "SHIN'NE, YA FREAK!!!"
Havoc: ^-^ "Oro?"
Dark Mayhem: "Evidently it almost kills him to think of only perverted thoughts."
Pesti: [unimpressed] "And yet, we're the ones who get pummelled while he just detonates."
Bedlam growled. Closing her eyes, she concentrated-
-and a tablespoon fell on his head.
Bedlam went into SD mode. "WHY CAN'T I GET EVEN A FULL-SIZED SPOON??!!" she demanded. "WHY????"
Pesti: "Answer: you're cursed."
Carnage: "Welcome to our world. Tenchi Masaki syndrome, my ass."
Chaos: --;; "Well, most of us are cursed anyways."
Sarcasm: [raiding the fridge for some chocolate bodypaint] "Another fanficfic? Ne, does this one have any cute Anime guys hanging around it?"
Sarcasm: "Then I have no reason to be here."
Chaos: "Ano...Sarcasm? What's with all the chocolate bodypaint?"
Sarcasm: ^-^ "I'm going to play Shamanic Princess with Zel-chan."
[Cue the facevaults!]
"Don't worry," Chaos told her. "Perhaps you're just not good enough to be a Lady of Mass Destruction."
Laughing, he turned back towards the house.
The throbbing veins appeared on Bedlam's forehead. She concentrated-
Chaos: "Maybe we'll get TWO teaspoons this time!"
-and a huge frying pan landed on Chaos's head, knocking him down to the ground.
Chaos: o.O "......"
Dark Mayhem & Pesti: [applauding] "Way to go, Chaos."
Chaos: [argh!] "I demand a second opinion about the respectability of my character profile!"
[Cue the oversized giant octopus which crushes Chaos instantly!]
Carnage: "He's a big dumb smite magnet, isn't he, folks?"
Mayhem and Pesti-chan huddled around their comatose friend, while Bedlam smirked from a distance.
Havoc: [watching Bedlam from a distance] "Hmmm...."
Carnage: "Just what are you up to now, Havoc?"
Dark Mayhem: "No good?"
Pesti: "I think that goes without saying."
Chaos: "Havoc, why are you testing for the direction of the wind?"
[An abrupt scream echoes across the fanficfic!]
Havoc: ^-^ [with panties!] "Hotcha!"
Chaos: [smacking his forehead] "I should have known."
Carnage: [smacking Havoc upside the back of the head] "Baka. I told you to get Rei's panties, not Bedlam's!"
Pesti: o.O "......"
Carnage: [surprised] "Excuse me...I don't know what came over me."
[Carnage turns to Havoc]
Carnage: "BUSTER BEEEEAAAAAMMM!!!!!"
"Daijobu," Chaos finally answered weakly. "Just...every bone in my body broken."
"Maybe she *is* stronger than she looks," Pesti-chan noted.
"Do you think I could be a Lady of Mass Destruction *now*?" Bedlam asked sweetly.
Anarchy: [filing her nails] "Smite Chaos again and then we'll talk."
Chaos: [terrified SD mode] "Kowai!"
Chaos sweatdropped. "Why must everyone be stronger than me?" he thought (Take a picture to mark this moment! Chaos is thinking!).
Cameraman Dan: "Hai!"
Fanboys: "Oooooh! Aaaaaah!"
Chaos: --;; "Laugh it up, why don't you."
Fanboys: "HA HA HAH HA HA HAH!!!"
Chaos: "That was sarcasm, you dolts!"
Dark Mayhem: "No, that's Sarcasm...all covered in strange yet tasty painted runes...on the kitchen counter...with Zelgadis?"
[The fanboys all abruptly turn their heads sideways.]
Carnage: "What the?"
Pesti: [eyebrow twitch!] "Aiya. Nobody can get into that position."
Havoc: [yanking Makoto onto the scene] "Sure they can. Just watch!"
Chaos & Pesti: "NA NI?!"
Makoto: [punting Havoc!] "Get off me, you pervert!!!"
Havoc: [distant voice] "Call me Hentenno!"
"I'm Lord Chaos, author of such Chaosfics like "Revolutionary Girl Usagi" and "Sailor Ranmoon 1/2!"
Fanboys: [slowly turning to Chaos] "......"
Chaos: [kawaii kitty ears perking up] "What? What?"
Pesti: "Just the thought of Queen Kodachi, the Beryl Rose, still gives me chills."
He turned to Bedlam. "You still need a lot of work."
Bedlam simply concentrated, and a yellow rat-thingy fell on his head. When he bent down to touch it, it promptly electrocuted him.
Pesti: "Smite of the falling Pikachu? Damn, that's a strange one."
Carnage: "Either that, or my replacement for Beam Sabre target practice has arrived. I've already shish-kabob'd all the Mokona plushies I could get my hands on."
Dark Mayhem: "Why didn't you just go for the source of all that is evil?"
Carnage: [shrug!] "Can't. Rampage is still chewing on that demonic marshmellow. Has been for the past two days straight."
Rampage: ^-^ [chipmunk-cheeked] "CHU CHU!"
"I'm not impressed!" he shrieked. "You still need a lot of work!...Ano...Mayhem? Pesti-chan? Can you get me to a hospital?"
Pesti: "Only if it's it the one featured in sailERmoon."
Dark Mayhem: "Have they even found Yakumo yet?"
Carnage: "Just the spleen and an arm. Although rumour has it his kidneys might have been accidentally shipped to Malaysia."
Chaos: [eyebrow twitch!] "You guys are not bolstering my confidence."
Havoc: "We could just take him to the Ogenki Clinic!"
Fanboys: "NOT A CHANCE, HAVOC!!!"
Skipping the rest of the mass destruction that has ensured, let's cut to the next day, where Mayhem had figured out how to get the Fanboys back to Tokyo.
[Author's Note: and how did they do this, you might ask? Oh...you didn't. Well we're showing you anyways! HA HA!!]
Dark Mayhem: [at the controls of a jumbo jet] "Another Maho Tsukai Mai Tai?"
Carnage: [wearing the pilot's hat] "Certainly! Pesti-chan, more drinks at the front!"
[Enter Pesti-chan, with a tray of drinks!]
Pesti: [dressed up as an airline steward] "Are you two sure hijacking an airplane is legal?"
Dark Mayhem: "Oh, I'm sure Kushinada Airlines didn't really need it that badly."
Carnage: "I wanna create more turbulence. Can I do another barrel roll?"
Pesti: "Ne, you guys hear something?"
[Enter Chaos, all dressed up as an airline stewardess!]
Chaos: "There's...some...Arigami...on the wing of...the plane!"
Dark Mayhem: [appraising Chaos' attire] "Kuso! Dammit, Chaos, lose the bare midriff!"
Chaos: "But the SD Arigami! He's still on the plane!"
Carnage: "It must have happened when we scraped that last plateau. Who'd we hit?"
Pesti: [looking out the window] "Susano? Oh no!"
Anarchy: [in 1st class with...champagne!] "That was a really lame Blue Seed gag, you guys."
Pesti: [shrug!] "Well, it was either that, or Chaos winning our plane ticket money in a disco dancing contest against Go-Go Grandma."
"I will smite you again, someday," Bedlam warned Chaos, as they'd become bitter rivals during the course of the afternoon.
Chaos: "What?! I am not so petty as to start up jealous rivalries among other authors or otaku!"
Dark Mayhem: "What about Beans?"
Chaos: "Curse you, Beans! Your lake god shall be mine!"
[Cue the terrified flying octopi!]
Terrified flying octopi: o.O *SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT!!!*
Chaos: --;; "Okay, so maybe I have one rival."
Carnage: "What about Polaris?"
Chaos: "Curse you Sailor Star Polaris!"
[Cue the oversized Gentle Uterus!]
Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
Pesti: [sigh!] "I hope Bedlam doesn't become another of Chaos' rivals. Our ceiling can't take any more abuse."
Chaos: [twitch twitch!] "What about me?"
Pesti: "You'll live."
"After I get an official title, and it would be more *honorable* for me to defeat you."
"What makes you so sure you'll become a Lady of Mass Destruction?" Chaos asked, sticking out his tongue.
Dark Mayhem: "Contractual obligations?"
Carnage: "Why not? It's screwed us every time before."
Havoc: [boing boing boing!] "Hotcha! Panties! More panties for the uberperv!"
Pesti: [sweatdrop!] "And then there's him."
"This," Bedlam said. She snapped her fingers, and an emu fell on Chaos's head.
Chaos: "You call that a smite, Bedlam? WOH HO HOH OHO HO HOH!! My herring does more damage than that!"
Pesti: [sweatdrop!] "That's really not a healthy laugh."
Dark Mayhem: "Naga and the Red Queen do it all the time."
Pesti: "And that's supposed to make me feel better?"
Bedlam glared at Chaos. "And if you even try to make a disparaging remark about my skills, I'll smite you."
Chaos: "Ha! I'd like to see any underlord try and outsmite me!"
Carnage: "So, what are the chances of that happening anytime in the near future?"
Dark Mayhem: [looking up] "I think the author's sending his reply as we speak."
[All the fanboys immediately step away from Chaos.]
Chaos: o.O "I sense a frivolous laugh from the author at my expense approaching."
[Cue Magipan castle suddenly falling from the sky and crushing Chaos!]
Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
She twirled her shiny frying pan, which she was quite proud of.
[The fanboys immediately step away from Chaos.]
Chaos: --;; "Oh sure; pick on the guy in the skirt."
She intended to use it as much as *Star* Sailor Polaris used her Gentle Uterus or Beans used her octopi.
Carnage: "Not like they haven't already used their smites in this fanficfic."
Chaos: [trying to pry an octopus off his face] "Come on, get off! Off! (o.O) Don't you dare squirt ink at me, buddy. ITAIIIII!! Oh, you're gonna pay for that one!"
Mayhem sighed. "Why do I get the odd feeling Bedlam is now going to have to use her frying pan quite often?"
[Author's note: Oh, no, not because of this suitcase filled with money which is being sent to the author of the Fanboys! fics for no particular reason whatsoever...What would make you think that?]
[Fanboy's Note as he rolls amidst large quantities of unmarked bills: no...I don't see how they could think of that...whatever would tip them off?]
Dark Mayhem: "Subtle."
Pesti: "About as subtle as Havoc stealing panties--"
Havoc: ^-^ "Hotcha!"
Pesti: "--or as subtle as Carnage nuking Havoc for stealing panties."
Carnage: "DRAGU SLAVE!!!"
Havoc: ^-^ "Oro?"
"Be warned," Bedlam told the other Fanboys. "I *will* come back to smite you."
Fanboys: o.O "......"
Dark Mayhem: "And next on the 'Switch To Decaff' list is...."
Chaos: [terrified SD fanboy!] "Kowai!"
Carnage: "What the?! Get offa me, Chaos!"
"Why?" Pesti-chan asked.
"Well, because I need to honor my contract.
Pesti: [sigh!] "That's alright. With our author, we're used to this kind of abuse."
[Cue the Shinjuku Highrises that fall from the sky and smite Chaos!]
Mayhem: "Some more than others."
Also, because I need to earn money to repair my house."
She glanced at the numerous holes in the ceiling and walls.
Pesti: "Well, it kinda feels at home looking up at her ceiling."
Dark Mayhem: "Except Bedlam doesn't have a hole through her entire ceiling because a certain mecha freak parked the Deathscythe Hell Custom on top of our coffee table."
Carnage: [teary Bambi eyes!] "My Deathscythe-chan."
Chaos: "*WHOSE* Deathscythe-chan?!"
[Cue the Deathscythe Hell's boot stomping on Chaos!]
Carnage: "Yes, Chaos, *whose* Deathscythe is it?"
"Hotcha!" Havoc said, appearing suddenly. "Parting is such sweet sorrow...it's a good thing I have your panties to remember you by!" he said, holding Bedlam's in his hands. "Ooh, and such kawaii SD characters from Marmalade Boy!"
Havoc: ^-^ "Hotcha! I've got Arimi's panties! I've got Arimi's panties!'
Dark Mayhem: "Ah, famous last words before the Cream Lemon tusnami."
Chaos: "Think Bedlam stands a chance against him?"
Havoc: ^-^ "Panties panties panties!"
"And to hurt that PERVERT!" Bedlam finished, gritting her teeth.
Havoc: [looking up] "Oh, gomen! Were you saying something, Bedlam?"
Chaos: "Weren't you listening to her death threats?!"
Havoc: [blink blink!] "I was too busy enjoying the feel of her silken treasures upon my face. Want to try?"
She hit him directly on the head with her frying pan-
Havoc: ^-^ "Oro?"
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