Well to make a long Fanboy! special short--
--Pesti-chan was inevitably beaten down to size, Makoto was rescued, and dorm life returned to normal. Weeeeell, as normal as normal could get with the fanboys still running around in Beans' College Life fanfic.
The entire group was now in Beans' dorm room, the Sailor Senshi having reverted out from their fukus, and the fanboys having clamed down for the time being (Ah, the wonders of Ridilin!).
"I trust he's not going to try and steal the lake god again," Michiru said, glancing over at Chaos. Chaos was sulking on Alex's bed, arms crossed over his chest with a terrified octopus still clinging to the back of his head.
Mayhem nodded. "More or less. He won't be living down the 'Call Me The Queen' humiliation anytime soon, so it's safe to say that for the remainder of this adventure he's going nowhere near that lake god's tank."
"We go through this big spectacle to kidnap Beans' lake god," Chaos sighed. "And all I have to show for it is this FREAKIN' OCTOPUS STUCK TO THE BACK OF MY HEAD!!!!!"
The aquarium burbled in his general direction as if to laugh. "Oh hush!" Chaos pouted, sticking out his tongue at the tank.
Michiru chuckled at his plight.
"Well I for one can't really say I'm sorry for you," Haruka said, unable to suppress her grin.
His lordship Chaos remained unimpressed.
Pesti-chan looked sheepishly at Makoto. "Mako-chan...um, sorry for turning into a big hairy monster and trying to run off with you."
Makoto wasn't sure how to take his apology.
And then he leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek. A stunned Makoto blushed slightly while Pesti-chan went all Bambi-eyed and turned three shades of bright pink.
"HOW DARE YOU KISS MY GIRLFRIEND!!" an oversized Chaos exclaimed, steam venting from his ears. He pulled out his pan dimensional mallet and staring chasing his underlord-in-training around the room.
"She's not your girlfriend, Chaos!"
"You stole a kiss from her! Die!"
"At least I didn't cop a couple of feels from her!"
"I need some Aspirin," Beans groaned.
Haruka pulled out her sword. "I could personally see to it that no one would ever hear from them again."
"Tempting, Haruka," Michiru said. "Very tempting."
"I have you now!" Chaos exclaimed, raising the mallet over his head to smite Pesti-chan. However that fell a little short when Rampage ate the mallet and then latched into Chaos' arm for desert.
And with that Rampage leaped back into the arms of Michiru.
"Hey, guys," Mayhem remarked. "Have any of you seen Havoc around lately?"
"Which one's he?" Michiru asked, giving a delighted Rampage another tummy rub.
"The guy with the long braid and the Doji obsession," Pesti-chan gasped.
"The panty thief," Mayhem added.
Sweatdrops appeared next to everyone's foreheads, followed by a series of facevaults.
"Found him," Chaos said, looking out the window of Beans' room.
"What's he doing this time?" Beans asked warily.
Mayhem glanced out the window. "It's better you not know. Ignorance is bliss."
Pesti-chan joined the other two fanboys, a sweatdrop suddenly appearing next to his head. "In this case, heavenly bliss. The student body president's going to be hearing a lot about this stunt!"
The ladies all sighed.
"What about Makoto's flight?" Beans asked. "With all the insanity you guys brought, I'm sure she missed her plane to Tokyo."
Mayhem shook his head. "Nah. In the aftermath of Pesti-chan's Zoantropy incident I contacted the BEAST supercomputer in our dimension and managed to book her on another flight. That one leaves in about four hours from now, so not much time was lost. And it's first class too all the way!"
"Arigato gozaimasu," Makoto said, bowing slightly to the fanboys.
"Impressive," Michiru remarked.
Mayhem flashed her the V-sign. "Hey, it's the least we could do! Not that Chaos here helped us any."
"Hey! What are you blaming me for?"
"If it wasn't for you stupid lake god obsession, this whole mess wouldn't have happened in the first place!"
"Well who let Havoc touch the remote control of the gods, Mayhem?"
"It wasn't me!"
As the two fanboys went into SD mode and disappeared in a thick cloud of dust with little fists and faces popping up every now and then, Haruka walked up and promptly booted them out the window.
Pesti-chan shook his head. "So, everything's been settled between our two parties. What else is left?"
Suddenly Havoc appeared, dressed in a tuxedo, and holding a rose in his mouth. "There's only one thing we can do: cue the New Wave Heroines tango music!"
He grabbed onto Michiru and became to tango into the dorm hallway. Seconds later the music came on, causing everyone in the dorm to stick their heads out from their rooms in bewilderment.
"Havoc, you do not have time to tango!" Pesti-chan exclaimed.
Abruptly the music came to a halt.
"I should have never left that Sailor Moon Musical Fantasy CD out in the open," Beans sighed, putting the disc back into its jewel case.
Michiru glanced down at Havoc, who was sighing happily with his head nestled in between her breasts. "Would you care to do the honors, Haruka?" she inquired.
With a dark smile Haruka nodded and cracked her knuckles. "My pleasure."
Everyone on the dorm floor winced as Havoc became the first fanboy pretzel in history, followed by another swift punt across the campus grounds. The next day there were numerous reports of an unidentified, flying pervert sighed across the continent.
Haruka dusted off her hands. "I swear the next time I'll use my sword on him."
"Sorry," Pesti-chan replied. "Havoc' pretty much indestructible. If he can survive the wrath of Wonderland's Red Queen, then he can survive anything."
Beans shook her head. "You know, Pesti, you seem to be the most sane one of them all."
Pesti-chan shrugged. "I haven't been as warped by Anime as everyone else has. I have yet to see the F3 trilogy."
Seconds later Chaos & Mayhem came crashing down from the ceiling. Out from Chaos' pocket dropped the remote control of the gods.
Curious, Michiru picked it up and handed it over to Haruka. "This appears to be the root of all our evil, love."
"So this is what caused the whole mess?" Haruka said, tossing the remote control into the air. "I wonder what happens if we change channels?"
"Nooooo!" Chaos exclaimed. "You'll switch us fanboys to another realm and that'll put an end to our Fanboys Special!"
Beans, Makoto and Michiru glanced around the suddenly deserted dorm hallway. All the fanboys had disappeared with the touch of a single button.
Haruka grinned. "I should have tried that sooner."
[Cue the end credits!]
**Tee hee. Well, I'd just like to thank Beans for all her support of my Fanboys series, and for being such a good sport despite all the trouble I give her with his fanboyship Chaos. And for those of you who are now vengeful of what I've done to her College Life series, I'll be expecting your flames soon. And then you can expect to be smited by a falling cow within a week of sending me your flames.
MWAH HA HA HAH HA!!!!!!!!!!!
His lordship Chaos would like to extend personal thanks to fellow lords Mayhem, Havoc & Pesti-chan for their continual support of the Fanboys! series. I'd also like to thank Beans again for being such a good sport, and the Megane 6.7 gang for providing me with more than enough demented ideas.
Chaos: "Hey! Speaking of the 6.7 crew, would this be the best time to hammer Oscar and his lemonfics?"
Mayhem: "Although I don't know why anyone in their right mind would, this would be the best place. Who would be reading all of these end credits?"
Havoc: "Ooohh. Read Oscar's work? This is tempting fate even for me."
Chaos: "Now that's frightening coming from Havoc."
Pesti: "That's it! I'm going back to the college to spend time with Mako-chan. Knock yourselves out."
Mayhem: "With Oscar it just might come to that to make the hurting stop."
[Fanboy's Note: this Curse of the Fanboys! special has been brought you by the letter C for Chaos...what? You were expecting a cookie?]
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