Well, let's cut to the chase and try to make cute paper dolls with it. The morning passed by as mornings usually do, with the usual confusion setting in as our fanboys tried to fit in. Chaos and Pesti-chan got sent outside to the hallway all because they were pencil-fencing for the love of the beautiful Mako-chan. Mayhem, on the other hand, tried to strike up a nonchalant conversation with Ami about the wonders of advanced calculus... and made the startling discovery that he could prove he didn't exist with a simple mathematical equation. Ami laughed. Mayhem cried.
Finally the lunch bell rang!
"Ah! What a nice day!" Chaos sighed, taking in a fresh breath of air and choking on the cherry blossoms that were sucked up his nose.
"Indeed it is," Mayhem agreed.
"The prefect day to go with Mako-chan out on a date," Pesti-chan said.
"Hold on!" Chaos interjected. "Mako-chan is my girlfriend!"
"The hell you say!" Pestilence exclaimed.
"Do you want Ares, god of war, to smite thee?" Chaos snapped.
Pesti-chan laughed. "At least I'm not a super deformed midget half the time!"
"Oh yeah?" Chaos growled. "Well at least with my and my name, Mako-chan won't have to worry about having a sacred sword pulled out of her chest by some crazed Earth Dragon named Fuma!"
Mayhem sighed whistfully. "Ah, I'm lucky to have Ami-chan all to myself."
"Curse you, Pesti-chan!" Chaos proclaimed, assuming what could be called a martial arts stance. "Prepare yourself for Chaos-Fu!"
And so pandemonium ensued--but lost because it had no actual grounds to sue, let alone ensue. But that's completely irrelevant to the plot!
"Baka," Mayhem sighed, shaking his head. "You know, you might want to first see if Mako-chan actually likes either of you two before you go battling for dating rites with her."
"Oh, right!" Chaos retorted. "Like you're making progress with Ami-chan...Carrot."
"Please," Mayhem said with a smirk. "I intend to play things smooth and suave, to let the whole group warm up to me before I declare my undying love to Ami-chan!"
Whereupon Mayhem was flung into one of those "Never Give Up!" background scenery for motivational spiels, complete with explosions, fireworks, hiragana--and a dry ice machine thrown in just for good measures.
Chaos and Pesti-chan surprisingly stopped in midfight, with Pesti-chan strangling Chaos and Chaos unwittingly knawing on his own foot. They stared first at Mayhem, and then to Ami who was standing right behind him.
"Ohayo, Ami-chan!" they chorused.
Mayhem promptly turned into a stone gargoyle that cracked all to pieces. Thankfully Pesti-chan swept him up and worked at gluing him together.
"I still think I have a better chance at dating Mako-chan," Chaos remarked, enthusiastically waving his arms. "I will dance and romance her, and my otaku dreams will become reality! MWAH HAH HA HA HA!!"
Pesti-chan winced. "Chaos, watch where you're groping."
Chaos gave an innocent glance over to his side and then realized he was copping a feel on Makoto's breasts. Lord Chaos went all Bambi-eyed. "This is really going to hurt me, isn't it?"
Makoto nodded, cracking her knuckles.
Seconds later Chaos discovered just how he could mimic a periwinkle in the local flower beds. Indignantly Makoto stormed off, sided by Ami who could only give pitied glance back at our dejected and dismembered fanboys.
Thankfully, Pesti-chan pulled out Chaos, who had been buried in the dirt up to his ankles. However that was while he was upside-down at the time.
"Well," the underlord-in-training sighed. "You'll be lucky if she doesn't kill you the next time you're together."
Chaos made a face, spitting out dirt, dirt and (surprise surprise!) more dirt. "I need Alita's Beserker body if I want to survive the rest of the semester."
Meanwhile, a broken Mayhem was sulking next to the wall. "She heard me, didn't she?"
Pesti-chan nodded.
"Everything."
Again the nod from Pesti-chan.
"I am so doomed."
And once more Pesti-chan gave the nod.
"WILL YOU STOP AGREEING WITH ME?!" Mayhem's oversized face exclaimed.
"I don't think we could sink any lower," Chaos lamented.
And with that, Rampage came back from her orbit and had a rather soft landing as Chaos broke her fall and his back. But everyone was too depressed to even laugh when Rampage decided to chew on Chaos' tie.
Just then the chimes for the end of lunch sounded off, and it was time to face the fact that our entire fanboy fantasy was unraveling at the pseudo-dimensional seams.

* * *

Things changed slightly when our three fanboys entered the classroom.
"Duo," the teacher said, adjusting his glasses. "It appears you have some...thing eating your tie."
Chaos glanced down. "Oh. Right. Super-deformed Godzilla-thingy. Hang on." And so his lordship Chaos wrestled with Rampage. Rampage won. "Don't worry!" Chaos said, hopping down between the rows of desks. "I'll have her off in just a few seconds! Hey! Give me back my tie, you monster!"
"Should I fetch the acetyline torch?" Pesti-chan inquired.
"Use your psychic force, Kamui," Chaos hissed, beating down Rampage with little success.
"Now, I'd like to begin today's lesson," the teacher said, returning to the chalkboard.
Chaos sat himself down in his desk, discovering just how marsh-mellowy Rampage was. Just then Rampage saw Makoto and gave a delighted squeak. Chaos managed to breath finally--albeit with a half-eaten tie.
"Kawaii!" Makoto said, sticking out a finger to play with Rampage. "What's her name?"
"Rampage-chan," Chaos replied. "She's our pet...kind of."
Rampage squeaked in pleasure as Makoto scratched her head. "She's certainly a handful."
The teacher said again, "I'd like to start the class now."
Chaos waved it aside, seeing a chance to redeem himself for the morning's accidental grope. "Nah! Rampage knows who's boss around here."
Makoto laughed. "Um, she's into your homework."
More SD action from Chaos as he stared down at Rampage, who was contentedly grazing on his papers. "That was my assignment for the next class!" Chaos exclaimed. "If you got teeth marks on my closing statements I'll skin you and use you as a pair of slippers!"
"Chaos! You and your pet: out in the hall!"
Chaos rolled his eyes. "Hai."

* * *

Moving right along lest we go nowhere fast (regardless of the in-flight movie), the half-crazed day of school came to an end:
"Well," Mayhem said, stretching as he got out from his desk. "That was an ordeal I don't want to go through again."
"I swear I'm going to stuff and mount the little twerp in my room," Chaos snarled, holding up Rampage by the scruff of her neck. "I lost two pencils, a textbook and my wristwatch in the last class alone. If Rampage coughs up math equations, she's a dead little mascot."
"Looks like love at first sight to me," Pesti-chan remarked.
He was promptly smited with Rampage by Chaos.
The three fanboys paused as Usagi and Minako approached.
"How is Jyuban so far?" Minako asked.
Pesti-chan shrugged. "We've had better days."
Which was kind of an understatement given their entire situation, being launched into a pseudo-Anime reality.
"It's hard being the new guys," Usagi said. "How about joining us for a picnic tomorrow after school? There'll be rice and snacks and cakes and chocolate!"
"The way she eats, the food won't last to minutes," Mayhem muttered to Pesti-chan.
"Pesti-chan nodded. "Like a bottomless disposal unit."
Chaos shrugged. "I'm not quite sure..."
Makoto then joined in the conversation. "You guys coming on the picnic too?"
"I'm in!" Chaos & Pesti-chan chorused.
Chaos shrunk and grew cat ears as Makoto glared at him.
"I'll come too," Mayhem added, glancing over at Ami.
Ami blushed and Mayhem sighed.
"Psssst," Pesti-chan whispered to Lord Mayhem. "You've got the Bambi eyes again!"
"And you really do need to do something about that drooling problem," Chaos remarked, once again tying the 'Piyo Piyo' bib around Mayhem's neck.
"You're just jealous," Mayhem replied with a smirk, wiping his chin.
Chaos produced a bucket of cold water. "Who's jealous, Newt-boy?!"

* * *

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