Just when you thought it was safe to read another fanfic...
[Cue the evil overlord cackle!]
MWAH HAH HA HAH HAH HA HA HAH HAH HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His lordship Chaos here once again. You remember me? Otaku extraordinaire, worshipper of her goddess-ness Mako-chan, head smiter--
"And Sailor Haley!"
I can't believe I ever let you talk me into taking that damned Sailor Senshi position. Can't we be just a little more freaking original than that?!
"Sorry, Chaos. All other spots were taken."
Thank you Naoko Takeuchi! Why must you make me suffer so much?
I highly doubt that, Pesti-chan. But for those of you out there demented enough to get pulled into our universe once before then you know exactly what this obligatory contractual intro. bit means!
Yep, Lords Chaos, Mayhem, underlord-in-training Pesti-chan, and our dumb, carnivorous mascot Rampage are back! I'll bet for a sequel fanfic you're expecting all the usual lunacies you experienced in the first Fanboys fanfic right?
Well...that's exactly what you're getting, only moreso. Apparently we're getting another member of the clan who holds our illustrious titles of Mass Destruction. But if he makes fun of the fact that I have to wear these stupid girl clothes half the time, they shall immediately be smited by a falling cow!
"What, no umbrella?"
Umbrellas are good for smiting, but so are falling cows, Mayhem. It's all in how creative you can smite someone.
"Um, the city's not in danger and neither are we. So then why are you wearing that tight red dress and matching lipstick?"
No reason! I swear!
"Oh, we believe you, Chaos."
Um, oh look! A sequel to Curse of the Fanboys!!!
Act One: Mets 0
It was a bright and sunny day in the city of Tokyo. A perfectly normal day for anyone who possessed any shred of decent sense. So needless to say, the sight of three fanboys--and their SD Godzilla-thingy for a mascot--gives way to the notion that they had no decent sense.
No altogether new information. Of course you realize what this means. Yep, you guessed it, hokey smoke, watch me pull a Ryo-Ohki out of my hat, we're back for another Fanboys! fanfic.
"Damn you Chaos!" Mayhem wheezed. "That's the last time I ask you to set your alarm for all three of us!"
"How was I supposed to know that Rampage ate it as an early morning snack?" Chaos shot back amidst panting for air.
To cut down on time and unnecessarily long gasps for air, our heroes…as it were…continued racing hell-bent for school. Provided they could find it this time.
"That's it," Mayhem said. "Chaos, you explain our lateness today!"
"Why me?" Chaos exclaimed, desperately trying to shake off cute li'l Rampage who was now trying to sample his uniform's sleeve. "I had to try to explain to them yesterday about how we were abducted by the Aragami, and had to be saved by the TAC and Kusanagi!"
"Speaking of," Mayhem remarked. "What panties did Momiji have on that time?"
"Hey," Pesti-chan said. "I see her! Ten steps ahead this time."
About ten steps ahead of our three fanboys was a long-haired brunette in the usual girl's sailor-style blouse and blue pleated skirt, running hellbent for her high school.
"I'm late I'm late I'm late I'm late!" the girl lamented between a mouthful of toast.
Chaos slowed in his running. "Ne, Mayhem, is the girl dressed in the Daicon 4-type bunny suit on a skateboard behind us?"
Sure enough there was a girl who looked like an escapee from Daicon 4 rolling around on a skateboard, heading right towards them while exclaiming, "It's late! It's late! Yeah yeah it's late!"
"Okay," Chaos sounded off. "Everyone stop on the count of three: one, two--"
"Wait!" Mayhem countered. "Do we stop on three, or is it 'one, two, three' and then stop?"
"You mean like 'one, two' and then stop on three?" Chaos inquired.
"Or else going 'one, two, three' and then stopping," Mayhem said. "Either way works for stopping."
"I recommend we just stop!" Pesti-chan exclaimed, bringing himself to a tread-screeching stop. Mayhem and Chaos did the same, not two steps away from the brunette.
The brunette let out a startled scream before being sucked into the black hole that suddenly appeared in the sidewalk. A split second behind her was the bunny-girl on the skateboard, still proudly shouting, "It's late! It's late! Yeah yeah it's late!"
Mayhem peered over the edge of the black hole. "Poor Miyuki-chan," he sighed.
"Yeah," Pesti-chan agreed. "She does this every morning."
Mayhem glanced around. "Hey, where'd Chaos go?"
Pesti-chan simply pointed downwards.
And there was his lordship, frantically trying to pull himself out from the black hole, fingers just latched onto the edge of the void.
"Tsk tsk," Mayhem chided. "Didn't we agree to stop on three, as in 'one, two' and stop as we said 'three'?"
Pesti-chan leaned down and helped pull his overlord out from the gaping hole moments before it sealed itself up. "And I'm the one still in training, Chaos?"
"I oughta toss Rampage in there," Chaos wheezed. "Maybe then we could be rid of her!"
Chaos glared at their ever pleasant pet creature, who had been smart enough to latch onto to someone who wouldn't fall headlong into Clamp's demented Wonderland alongside Miyuki-chan.
"Aw, come on!" Mayhem said, smiling as he held their little SD Godzilla thingy of a mascot. "Even you have to admit it's adorable the way she's scarfing down your math textbook."
Once again Chaos leaped into his little SD self with bulging eyes. "My textbook?! Give me that, you petty excuse for a mascot!"
His eyes overtook his face once again as Rampage proceeded to swallow half the book. Eyebrows twitched nervously as the SD mascot let out a cute belch.
"Well," Pesti-chan said. "You can at least do all the questions on the even pages."
Chaos flicked away the little black stormcloud hanging over his head. "Is there anyone out there less fortunate than I?"
"How about 3X3 Eye's Yakumo?" Mayhem offered.
"Now there's a guy who's got my vote for 'unluckiest bastard alive'," Pesti-chan piped up. "Regenerative zombie trait notwithstanding of course."
"Oh, of course," Mayhem agreed.
Chaos glanced over, and began to leap up and down on the verge of wetting himself. Sure enough, right next door to them was the front gates to a senior high school.
"Hey look!" he exclaimed, kneeling down in front of the school gates. "We made it, and with two minutes to spare!"
Pesti-chan glanced over at the sign. "Furinkan High? Um, Chaos, this isn't our--"
"Not now!" Chaos said, bending down to kiss the cement. "I'm becoming one with my school."
A split second later his face did become one with the school as two sixteen year-old guys used his head as a springboard to soar high into the air to do battle.
"Ranma, prepare to die!"
"You're getting slower, Ryoga!"
An amused Mayhem helped peel his flattened-ship Chaos off the walkway. "Come on, Chaos. I'll get the inflater and blow you back up to your original size."
And to once again make a long story short--lest it go on forever and ever and ever and bore everyone to death, whereupon they go to the afterlife only to come back with nothing but a stupid souvenir yo-yo and thus loathe this story--our three fanboys finally managed to get back to class.
"Well," Pesti-chan sighed. "We're late again. I mean, even Usagi and Minako beat us here, which in itself is frightening."
"On the bright side," Chaos said happily. "I was able to get away from Rampage with relative ease."
"If you call shoving our mascot into a fire hydrant and making a getaway when the geyser of water erupted an easy thing to do," Mayhem wryly remarked, taking his seat.
Chaos shrugged. "So long as she's gone, I'm happy." He reached into his desk, and then noticed another sweatdrop next to his forehead. Now this might have been because he suddenly felt something happily sucking away on his arm...or else he was feeling a little irregular today not having had his Branflakes.
"KYAAAAA!! IT'S GOT MY ARM!!!!"
Seconds later featured his Super Deformed-ship Chaos flailing around the room, Rampage once again latched onto his hand.
Pesti-chan rolled his eyes. "This happens more often than you think," he said to Mako-chan.
"Want me to smite you?" Chaos exclaimed, standing atop his desk and waving a fist that Rampage was still sucking on.
Pesti-chan leaped atop his own desktop. "Only if you want my Zoantropy to come back and smite your sorry butt!"
Chaos: "You're just jealous because I've got a better chance at dating Mako-chan! You're only half the man I am, Pesti-chan!"
Pesti: "What are you talking about?! With that transformation stick you're the one who's half a man! Mako-chan will be mine!"
As Mayhem moved through the rows of desks selling popcorn and programs, Mako-chan (queen goddess above all!) seemed to be sinking lower into her desk as this black little storm cloud fumed over her head.
"Duo, Kamui: out in the hall," the teacher said, pointing to the door.
"Let me help you," Mako-chan said, grappling onto our two fanboys' legs and flinging them out the door.
With the grace of a one-legged swan trying to land, Chaos careened into the hallway. Fortunately for Pesti-chan, Chaos broke his fall.
"You make a wonderful crashmat," Pesti-chan chuckled, looking at his footprint now indented on his overlord's head. Seconds later the detention buckets of water lovingly drenched the little underlord.