It was another nice Sunday afternoon in the apartment of our three favorite fanboys...plus one hentai-sama. As it turned out they couldn't get rid of Havoc; they had about as much luck of throwing him out as Chaos did of getting rid of Rampage.
"You know," Chaos said, sipping his Hard Lemonade and glancing at his wristwatch. "The girls are running rather late."
"What was that?" Havoc asked, appearing from behind the couch.
A SD Chaos neatly leaped across the room, clinging onto the wall. "Don't you have a home to go to, Havoc?!"
"Minako and Usagi are visiting us today," Pesti-chan said from the kitchen. "Rei's busy at her temple tonight, and after the Wonderland incident Mako-chan and Ami won't touch this place with a ten storey high mecha."
"And we don't want anyone screwing with the guest were able to get today," Mayhem added, emerging from the hallway. "Havoc, I'm looking in your general direction right now."
"Would I do a perverted thing like that?" he asked, ironing his latest additions to his stolen panty collection.
Came the resounding reply, "Yes!"
"CHU CHU!" Rampage exclaimed.
Chaos turned to Mayhem. "I thought we sent her to Cephiro as a wedding gift to Princess Emeraulde and Zagato."
"They sent her back," Pesti-chan answered, still working diligently on the food. "She arrived a few minutes ago with a bunch of stamps glued to her forehead."
Rampage burped, coughing up a bunch of letters.
Mayhem checked out one of the letters, opening it up. "'Dear Key the Metal Idol, we regret to inform you that we misinterpreted your desire for thirty thousand fans. Our moving vans will arrive tomorrow to pick up the thirty thousand model T-45 ceiling fans we left in your kitchen, yada yada yada...boring!"
The doorbell rang, and Chaos walked over to open it up.
Minako and Usagi stepped into the apartment. "Ohayo!" Minako said cheerfully, waving to them all.
"Kawaii!" Havoc exclaimed, trying to leap into her bosom. He was then greeted with Chaos' fist. Seconds after he was punted out of the apartment William Shatner was heard to scream "that pervert from the wing of the plane's on the front windshield of my limousine!!"
"Who was that?" Usagi asked.
"The one the police reports warned you about," Mayhem replied gibly. "Come on in, you two!"
"You know," Usagi remarked. "Mako-chan and Ami-chan didn't want to come over. Do you know why?"
Chaos, Pesti-chan and Mayhem looked at each other.
"Um, not all all!"
"Not a clue!"
"No, why do you ask?"
Usagi shrugged, dismissing the notion that they had all gone to a really warped realm where all the female characters chased after the heroine. She gawked as she saw their big-screen television set.
"Sugoi!" Usagi exclaimed.
"Hey!" Minako said, grabbing the remote. "Let's watch some television!" Before anyone could stop her, she had scooped up the remote control and her finger moved to press a button.
"No!" Chaos exclaimed. "Don't push the--!"
The dimension was dark, like the ground and the skies around it were nothing but a swirling storm of dark, black clouds. Small, crystal orbs floated around the air, leisurely drifting from one expanse to the next.
It were here in this seemingly realm of oblivion that Nagisa cradled the smoking body of her Normal type Iczel robot. Once before it had served as her armor, transforming her into an Iczelion. But here she was, having rejected the transformation and now exposed to Cross. Nagisa whimpered in fear and clutched Normal type even harder as the psychotic cyborg slowly approached.
Cross' mechanical red eye glowed. "Shin'ne, Iczelion."
She pointed her open palm at Nagisa, unleashed a fierce blast of light. Nagisa screamed, bracing herself for what could easily the most painful yet most brief experience in her life: her own death.
Suddenly two flashes shot out from either side of the dimension, slamming into the ground right in front of the rampant attack. Cross' energy blast exploded into a bright blue fireball, quickly fading to reveal an unharmed Nagisa.
"What the hell?" Cross hissed angrily.
Nagisa looked from one warrior to the next, stunned as she looked at two more Iczelions having arrived on the scene.
"Whew!" the girl in the golden armor exclaimed. "We just made it in time!"
Cross snarled. "You damned bitches! Who are you?"
The girl with the gold and black armor and the hair tinted purple grinned broadly. "Iijima Kiiro, Gold Iczelion!" she proudly shouted out.
The girl with long brown hair, and the silver and blue armour gave a little smile. "Kawai Kawai, Silver Iczelion," she said, her voice a little more passive and softer than Kiiro's.
"Shit!" Cross swore.
"There's another one behind you," stated a new voice. Seconds later Black Iczelion appeared behind Cross, arms over her chest and giving the cyborg a dark smile.
"Nami-san!" Kiiro exclaimed happily.
Cross was fuming, looking with murderous intent from one Iczelion to the next. Suddenly there was a loud shout:
And then a whole dogpile of fanboys and Sailor Senshi appeared out of nowhere, dropping in a heap on top of Cross. The girls blinked in surprise as everyone slowly got up off of the fallen cyborg.
"Aw man, Havoc!" Chaos wheezed. "You weigh a ton!"
"I can't help it!" Havoc retorted. "I've got Mayhem and Usagi-chan on top of me."
"And right now I'm praying very hard that it's Usagi I feel groping my crotch," Mayhem said.
A super deformed Pesti-chan and Chaos leaped away, shivering in fear as they stared wide-eyed at Havoc.
Usagi-chan giggled, embarrassed. "Oops! Gomen ne, Mayhem."
Havoc stood up and dusted himself off. "Incidentally," he said to Chaos and Pesti-chan. "You two have dirty minds, ya know that?"
Kiiro glanced over to Kawai. "Are they just idiots or what?"
Nami scowled. "They're just idiots."
Mayhem glanced around their new surroundings. "Great. Just great." He turned to Minako "You just...had to try out the remote control of the gods, didn't you?" Mayhem sighed.
Minako giggled. "Oops!"
Chaos nodded darkly. "Yeah...oops."
Usagi: "What happened?"
Mayhem: "You just threw us into another different Ani--I mean, an alternate dimension."
Pesti: "Nice recovery, Mayhem."
Havoc: "I wonder if they have any good panties here?"
Chaos: "Don't flatter him, please!"
Just then Cross managed to get over her shock and rise from the crater in the ground, her tinted blue hair fluttering in the breeze as she glared at the new intruders.
"Uh-oh," Pesti-chan exclaimed. "Cyborg psycho hose beast at twelve o'clock!"
Chaos' eyes bugged out as the kana for 'uh-oh!' scrolled behind them all. "Oh shit, it's Cross!"
A curious Usagi glanced over at Cross. "Is that bad thing?"
Usagi giggled. "Oh, gomen nasai!"
Chaos and Mayhem exchanged unimpressed glances.
"The future queen of Crystal Tokyo, ne?" Chaos lamented.
"Hai," Mayhem sighed.
"Who the hell are you?" Cross demanded.
"They sure aren't Iczelions like us," Kiiro remarked, impatiently shifting her pose.
Abruptly a large, floating crystal descended from above, and ominous music filled the dimension. After a few ill-fated searches our fanboys realized there was no way they could find the CD player in all this fog. A flash of light filled the realm. And there appeared what might have been once a handsome young man, now deformed with all the cyborg armour all over his body. Half his face was covered in a golden plate.
"Cool!" Chaos whispered to Mayhem. "I never realized it before, but that whole tubing and facemask deal on him looks like a Hoover Upright got to him at the beginning of the Anime!"
Mayhem stifled a fit of laughter.
"A pleasure to finally meet you all," the new cyborg said. "I am Chaos."
"Chaos?" Kiiro exclaimed.
"You're him?" Nami hissed.
Cross chuckled. "Hello there, brother."
"Hey!" Lord Chaos shouted, going into super deformed fanboy mode again. "I'm the only Chaos here! I've got all trademark rights to that title!"
He stomped right up to the cyborg Chaos, staring up at the big mean piece of villainous metal which was a head taller than him. Cyborg Chaos glanced down at this loud, little fanboy.
"What the hell are you looking at?" Chaos snapped. "I haven't gone Haley yet...have I? Either way, I don't care how many planets you've nuked or how many people you've killed! Chaos is my title, and therefore you cannot be called that any more!"
"Duo," Mayhem cautioned. "Now might not be the right time to get in a fight over who should hold that title of mass destruction."
Cyborg Chaos' mechanical eye flashed blood red.
Chaos laughed nervously. "But in you're case I'm willing to make an exception! Um, we were only kidding about your sister being your sister being a psycho hose beast."
"Perhaps we should let the Voids take care of these children first before the Iczelions," cyborg Chaos remarked, running a hand through his blonde hair.
A sadistic smile appeared on Cross' face. "Forget about that whining girl. I think I've just chosen my new target: him."
Chaos' cat ears and tail sprouted. "Um, what should I do?"
"Try your Comet Cleaner attack," Mayhem suggested. "Once you get all scrubbed up, you can blind them by how shiny you are!"
Cross held out her arm towards his fanboyship Chaos, energy crackling in her open palm. "Shin'ne, strange little man."
Chaos closed his eyes. "There's no place like Tokyo, there's no place like Tokyo!"
Cross fired her attack. There was an explosive flash of light that abruptly fizzled out. Realizing he was still alive and in one piece, Lord Chaos opened his eyes. And thus he bared witness to Rampage-chan happily sucking away on Cross' hand.
"She swallowed Cross' attack," Pesti-chan remarked. "Is there nothing in this realm that doesn't give Rampage heartburn?"
"Quick!" Chaos exclaimed. "Use the remote control to get us out of here!"
"I can't see anything now! What in the hell did you did you do, Mayhem?"
"I changed the channels?"
"No you didn't! You turned off the fanfic!"
"Give me the remote control of the gods, Mayhem!"
"Guys, if you please--"
"Look, I know what I'm doing!"
"Yeah right, and Lina Inverse has a size C bra!"
"I have it here if you want to measure it."
"Will somebody get the picture back to our fanfic, please?"
"I got it for sure this time!"
**Fanboy's final note:
William Shatner was not harmed during the making of this fanfic...though he had to be sedated numerous times. And he's developed a really nasty twitch whenever we now mention Anime...^-^
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