Aside from the usual laments of Usagi and Minako as they failed to get yet another question right, the Inner Senshi's study evening was quite peaceful. With the summer fast approaching, it was great to be studying in one of the rooms on the temple grounds.
Ami sighed, looking up from her work to smile at the beautiful woods just outside the open shoji screen. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
The other girls nodded.
"I can't wait for the summer," Rei added. "We'll finally be free of classes for a while and get to go to the beach."
"And a chance to get more boyfriends!" Minako piped up. "This time I, Aino Minako, shall get one for certain!"
[Cue the inspirational tidal wave surging behind Minako!]
The other Senshi sighed. "Hai hai."
Ami-chan blushed. "I want to go walking through the park alone with Carrot-chan before we go to his room and...." Her voice trailed off and she giggled.
Makoto's eyebrow twitched. "Just what did he do to you back at that Magical Girl competition, Ami-chan?"
Usagi stuck her head forward, looking from one Senshi to the next over the stacks of books, worksheets and papers. "Na ni? Ne, what were they going to do in his room?"
Rei groaned. "Usagi, are you really *that* clueless?"
"Maybe it's better if she doesn't know," Makoto said, laughing nervously at Usagi's innocence and Ami's newfound lack of it.
"What about you, Mako-chan?" Minako asked. "Who are you going to take with you to the beach?"
Makoto blushed. "N-Na ni?"
Rei, Usagi, Minako and Ami all leaned in closer to her. "Ne, are you going to date Kamui or Duo? Details, Mako-chan, we want details!!"
Mako-chan was an embarrassed shade of red as she tried to fend her friends off. "Ano...that is...I'm not really sure...."
"Hmmm," Havoc remarked, suddenly sitting in their midst. "Questions like these should never be debated on an empty stomach." He hoisted up a bowl of Jello, handing it to Usagi. "Jello, anyone?"
Usagi nearly drooled at the sight. "Hai!"
"Noooo!" Chaos and Pesti-chan exclaimed, launching themselves at Usagi and tackling the bowl of jello before she sampled it and asked what the [Ahem!] secret ingredient was. Naturally, mass hysteria ensued as the fanboys all dogpiled on top of the table and crashed onto the floor, limbs sprawled out everywhere as the girls scuttled backwards.
"Do all of your entrances have to be like this?" Carnage asked, nonchalantly stepping in through the open shoji screen.
"I think it's a contractual obligation for Chaos," Mayhem replied, stepping in behind him.
"I-I-Itaiii!" Pesti-chan moaned, rubbing his tender nose after landing facefirst on the wooden floor. Moments later he ripped off the X-shaped white band-aid that had suddenly appeared over his nose for no apparent reason.
"My landing was surprisingly nice," Chaos sighed, closing his eyes. "This Jello's really soft!"
"Chaos, you idiot!" Carnage said. "That's not the Jello you've got in your hands!"
Chaos' eyes bugged out in terror as he looked up to see Mako-chan's Jello-covered bosoms in his palms. "Um...do I get a last request?"
"ECCHI!!" Makoto exclaimed, punting Chaos right into a wooden post.
Rei, Usagi, Makoto and Minako stared up at Carnage, and Carnage uneasily looked at the silly grins on their face. "Um, are they alright?"
"Who's your friend?" Ami-chan asked, already cuddling up with a smoky Mayhem.
"He's...an associate of ours," Pesti-chan said.
"I'm going to need a pseudonym, aren't I?" Carnage inquired.
Mayhem nodded. "It's safer that way. For the moment I don't think it'll hurt if they call you Carnage."
Suddenly Minako yanked Carnage down to the floor, and he found himself surrounded.
"Sexy!" Minako exclaimed, clinging to his arm.
"Do you have a girlfriend yet?" Rei asked.
"Oooh! Look at his muscles!" Usagi said, poking his arm.
"He looks just like my sempai," Makoto said dreamily.
"MAKO-CHAN!!!" Pesti-chan and Chaos exclaimed.
"I seriously think it's the hair," Mayhem remarked to Ami-chan.
"Sure he might be a stud!" Havoc cut in. "But can your handsome fanboy compete with this!"
And without any more encouragement or dogpiles to make him stop, Havoc snapped his fingers and out from his DOJI BOY sleeve popped five lacy bras. Seconds later the five Sailor Senshi shrieked, Chaos and Pesti-chan groaned, Mayhem exploded and Carnage clubbed Havoc into the table with his Zanba sword.
"Ecchi!" the girls chorused, snatching back their bras.
"Look, Havoc," Chaos said, grappling onto Havoc. "if you can go for the rest of this scene without being hentai, I'll give you this. Ne?"
Chaos held up a black leather jacket, long-sleeved and with beautiful stitchwork as well as a large curled back collar line. On the back of the jacket was written in scarlet kanji "HENTAI".
"A leather jacket?" Havoc exclaimed, going Bambi-eyed. "I'm touched." He dabbed as his teary eyes with a set of panties.
Minako's eyes widened as she suddenly felt a draft up her jeans. "Hey! Those are my panties he's got!"
"So what else is new?" Chaos said.
Carnage rolled his eyes. "Not much apparently."
Havoc snatched the leather jacket from Chaos, leaving a token of his appreciation: Mako-chan's panties. His lordship Chaos had only a few moments to ponder how soft they really were before he was clobbered by Pesti-chan and Mako-chan herself.
Havoc smiled, sliding his arms into the sleeves. "Sugoi! An a perfect fit too for whether I'm male or female. Chaos, I don't know what to say...but I do know a hentai limerick to commemorate the moment!"
[Cue the facevaults!]
Havoc: "[Ahem!] There once was a princess from Venus, whose body was shaped the like a--!"
Before he had a chance to finish the line, Havoc was immediately booted through the ceiling by numerous fanboys and Sailor Senshi.
"SHADDUP!!" they chorused.
"Hentai," Minako sniffed. "My body is not shaped like a--!"
"Minako, I think we got the point the first time around," Rei cut in.
Chaos stared up at the Havoc-shaped hole in the ceiling, unable to suppress a dark chuckle as he watched the little black spot that was Hentenno-sama disappear into the horizon line in search of new panties to pillage.
"What are you snickering about, Chaos?" Mayhem asked suspiciously.
"Oh, nothing," Chaos replied, desperately trying to keep an angelic face despite the evil grin.
"Share, Chaos, share," Pesti-chan said.
An SD Chaos chuckled devilishly. "I'll wait for later until we can build more suspense with the readers."
So now we are left to ponder the significance of the leather jacket. Would it actually work to cure Havoc of his perverted ways for good, or just backfire into something far more worse? Has anything Chaos ever tried actually worked? But let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Anyhoo, the study session continued and went on for a number of hours. Ami-chan wound up spending more time with Pesti-chan as they puzzled over a set of biology questions (much to the dismay of Mayhem), Mayhem and Rei tried to help Minako with history (and failed miserably), and in trying to impress the fair Mako-chan Chaos managed to solve an entire set of chemistry equations on a completely unrelated Advanced Kanji worksheet. Meanwhile Carnage helped translating the boring math questions to Usagi in a more colourful way:
"Duo can swing his scythe at 15 m/s, while his Deathscythe Mecha itself travels at 100 Km/h. The opposing OZ Leo is fleeing at a speed of 80 Km/h, and the distance between the two mechas is 200 meters. Now, if Duo has only ten seconds to react will he be able to bisect the Leo in half at the waist, or just slice off its head?"
Rei, Makoto and Minako all gained sweatdrops next to their heads, while Chaos, Pesti-chan and Mayhem sighed.
Abruptly a tremor rumbled across the temple grounds, shaking everyone to the floor. Ami-chan leaped into Mayhem's arms for support and torched his homework. Chaos reached out for something to steady his stance and groped Mako-chan once more. And what was this new threat? Was it the Dead Moon Circus up to something new? Was the crazed killer who still knows what they did last fanfic coming after them? No, as anyone who's familiar with the Sailor Moon characters will know that it could only have been one thing: Usagi's stomach.
"Waaah!" Usagi whined. "Rei-chan, I'm going to waste away if we do any more studying! Can't we go for a chocolate milkshake or something?"
"And some cheeseburgers too!" Minako added.
"Ne?" the two blondes chorused.
"At least Havoc's not here to pass out any Jello," Chaos muttered to the other fanboys.
"It is six-thirty already," Rei agreed. "Maybe we should call it a day and break for dinner."
"Why don't we eat here?" Pesti-chan offered. "We can still study together, and we'll split the cost of the food."
"Hai!" Usagi and Minako piped up happily. "We can order more food that way! Korean barbecue!!"
Chaos' eyebrow twitched. "We're not fighting vampires here, so I for one don't want your Sailor Special Garlic attack. Let's just cook here."
Rei sighed. "Ara, I'll see if we have anything left in the kitchen."
The group adjourned to the surprisingly modern kitchen just down the hall from the study room. And as luck would have it, the author had remembered to restock on food in the refrigerator at the beginning of the fanfic so there was extra props to spare!
"I can help cook," Mayhem offered, setting down the mounds of vegetables on the counter. "I am somewhat of a gourmet chef after being taught by Akira Ijyuin of the Clamp Campus."
Ami-chan abruptly snuggled up behind him, her bosoms pressed right up against his chest. "Let's do it together, Carrot-chan," she whispered into his ear.
Spontaneous combustion ensued.
A scorched Chaos, Pesti-chan and Carnage all coughed out kawaii little black smoke clouds. "So," Carnage remarked. "That's his disorder, ne?"
Chaos coughed out another kawaii leiís smoke cloud. "One of them, anyways."
"That's great," Rei sighed. "Except if Ami-chan's with you in the kitchen, Carrot, everything will wind up being flambe."
"Hai!' Minako-chan piped up. "After all, if you and Ami-chan are caught playing in the kitchen, you'll burn our sashimi!"
"That's 'if you play with fire, you'll get burned'," Mako-chan corrected.
"Roasted sushi?" Pesti-chan inquired. "Isn't that a contradiction?
"Let me show you how it's done," Carnage said, pulling out his Zanba blade and tossing the vegetables and meat into the air. Within five seconds of air time, Carnage's enormous sword blade was nothing but a blur. The vegetables and meat neatly descended into small strips and cubes, falling perfectly into places in awaiting bowls.
"Ah! Sugoi!" the girls exclaimed.
"I feel like some tempura tonight," Carnage remarked. He grinned as he started frying up the batter-covered vegetables in a wok. Rei, Minako, Makoto and Ami all crowded around him to commend his apparently impressive cooking skills. Usagi, on the other hand, had to be held down by Carnage to make sure she didn't eat the latest batch of cooked tempura.
"I don't believe this," Pesti-chan sulked. "He's stealing our Senshi."
Mayhem tapped Chaos on the shoulder. "Ne, Chaos, remember what happened the last time Carnage did the cooking?"
Chaos' eyes bugged out.
Carnage frowned as he studied the bubbling pots. "These should be cooking faster. Cook...come on, cook...cook faster, damn you!! FLAMING ODANGO BARRAGE!!!"
Mayhem and Chaos groaned, pulling out their umbrellas. "Oh no...not the flaming odango barrage."
Moments later the entire kitchen was bombarded by flaming meatballs that punched through the ceiling for no apparent reason. Fanboys and Senshi alike fled in terror. Fireballs erupted and some was everywhere as the flaming odangos exploded on impact, destroying most of Rei's kitchen.
"Flaming odango barrage?" Makoto coughed as the flaming odango onslaught came to an end. "What was that?"
"One of Carnage's smiting techniques," Mayhem replied, helping Ami-chan up to her feet as he studied the scorched, hole-ridden remains of his umbrella.
Rei groaned. "Now look what you did to my roof!" she said. "It'll take us a week to repair the damage you caused!"
"Only a week of repairs for one of Carnage's smites?" Pesti-chan asked.
Chaos nodded. "Those fireball odangos are only minor smites, and he only uses them when he tries to cook."
"That's it," Mayhem said, wiping a stain off his shirt. "Next time Makoto cooks dinner."
Makoto immediately got to work salvaging what she could of the meal thanks to the odango meteor shower. The smell of burning meatballs was quickly replaced with the sweet scent of spices and vegetables.
"I wish I could cook like that," Pesti-chan sighed, watching her over the counter. "I missed your cooking class before thanks to my EVA synch training."
"Why not host another cooking class?" Ami-chan suggested.
Mako-chan nodded. "Hai. I've done it enough times before with everyone else."
Chaos' eyes bugged out, and he nearly spat his tea across the room if it wasn't for the fact that he was now trying to breathe it.
Pesti-chan's eyes went into Bambi mode. "Really?" he asked excitedly. "Could you? It wouldn't be too much trouble for you, Mako-can?"
Mako-chan nodded, a little overwhelmed by his fawning all over her. "H-Hai."
Chaos, of course, would have naturally objected had he not abruptly inhale his mouthful of tea...along with the cup he had been drinking with.
"What about studying for our final tests?" Rei asked.
Pesti-chan facevaulted right into the table. "C-C-Cruel...!" he whimpered.
"Well, if I skip our study group only for one night then I guess that's okay," Makoto offered. "My cooking club's not meeting on Monday. Is tomorrow after school alright for you, Kamui?"
Pesti-chan grinned, and flashed the V-sign back to the other fanboys--and one choking & blue-faced Chaos. "I'll be there for six!" he happily piped up.
"Mako-chan!" Usagi and Minako chorused, cat-like grins on their faces. "Does that mean you're going on a date with Kamui?"
Mako-chan blushed furiously, suddenly realizing that this could actually be a date, not to mention a wrinkle in the plot! "N-Na...ni...?"
Pesti-chan went Bambi-eyed. "D-d-date? We're going on a date?!"
[Cue the oversized demonic head of Lord Chaos!]
Chaos: "WHADDAYA MEAN HE'S DATING *MY* MAKO-CHAN?!?!"
Seconds later, Chaos was whacked upside the back of his head by Carnage's Zanba blade. "Is he always this noisy?" Carnage asked Rei, glancing at the twitching form of Chaos (whose head was now buried in the floor).
Rei shook her head. "No, he's a lot quieter than usual tonight."
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