"Hey you know what?" called the blissfully ignorant Cyclops as he returned from the bathroom. "I think I finally figured out who I look like in an anime."
"Ken. Or Shinozaki in the Japanese Sailor Moon."
At first Chaos was calm and silent, like so... (-_-) "....."
Then he spoke his mind, like so...
"Na ni?" questioned Dark Mayhem.
"He's right!" exclaimed Pesti-chan. "He's got an inside track on my Mako-chan!"
"*YOUR* Mako-chan!?" shouted, well, you know who shouted it.
"He also likes my Ami-chan remember!" countered Dark Mayhem.
"Yeah, AND Minako-chan AND Rei-chan... besides, Ami LIKES you, while Mako-chan keeps smiting me." Need I state who said that?
"Yes, but being smited by Mako-chan was worth it since it led to her being smitten with me." stated Pesti-chan, obviously.
"Hai hai. It's worth it since... *YOU?!*" Take a guess.
"Guys, don't worry about it, everytime he sees her, or ANY girl for that matter, he'll turn into the Futaba-chan lookalike. Makoto and my beloved Ami-chan will hardly even see him, if at all, since they'll almost always see 'her!'" Dark Mayhem then smiled. "Besides, he's still wearing the Jyuban fuku."
Cyclops blinked. Twice. Real fast. "I'll be right back..." With that he backpeddled into the bathroom.
"Hmph." hmphed Chaos. "I think he looks more like Keisuke Yuuki from Fushigi Yugi than Shinozaki."
"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of TetsuyaKagibara." responded Pesti-chan.
"There's a bit of a resemblance to Greenwood's Mitsuru Ikeda there too." added Dark Mayhem.
Chaos looked to the bathroom. "WHOever he looks like, it's still weird that he noticed who he thinks he looked like while in there but the fact he still had on the Jyuban girls' fuku went right over his head." He shook his head. "His disorder just has so many levels..."
Pesti-chan remembered his original train of thought. "The principle of this is no good though! We can't let his inevitable chasing of our beleved goddesses go unpunish-"
Pesti-chan immediately switched gears. "I got it."
Who should enter but a blue-haired girl wearing not much of anything that was dark red in colour.
It was the demoness known as Anarchy.
And in case you aren't aware, she takes comments like that as compliments.
"Hi boys," greeted she who claims 'Chaos' Tormenter' as her occupation when dealing with customs officials. "We're back."
With that, Rampage and Catastrophe, described by their author as SD Godzilla-thingies, bounded in behind her.
"Hi Anarchy." replied the ever-calm Dark Mayhem. "How did they enjoy that walk by Usagi's place?"
"It was great, though she nearly got Luna, I've never seen a cat move so fast!"
"CHU CHU!" ^-^
Dark Mayhem countered. "Ah she's and Artemis probably have some contractual agreement that keeps them alive what with their being the mascots of the universe we currently inhabit."
Upon returning from the bathroom, now wearing his masculine attire once again, Cyclops started fearfully pointing at the SD Godzilla-thingy until he finally shouted "Rampage?! AAAAAHHHH!!!" and lept to the ceiling, clinging to it for dear life.
Anarchy was mildly amused by the display, probably because it resembled something her older brother (who happens to be Chaos in case you hasn't already guessed) would do. "What's wrong with him?"
"Nothing, nothing..." was the quick reply from above as Cyclops took a closer look at Rampage. "I just... I just had a DreamWorld flashback, that's all."
"Ara..." Anarchy blinked. "WHO is he?"
"It's a long story..." stated Pesti-chan somewhat slowly. He was unaccustomed to things flying up to stick to the ceiling rather than them falling down through it and smiting Chaos.
Cyclops dropped to the floor but continued to look wearily at the smiling mascots. He takes a seat on the still disemboweled couch.
"I hope I don't have any Nocturnal Tour flashbacks, my author just finished reading the full story just last night..." commented Cyclops. "Hey, you know what? If that SD Godzilla-thing always eats mascots, and Beans' lake god IS a mascot, how has it escaped being eaten by now? Guys?"
In his attempt to push this theory, Cyclops accidentaly glanced at the TV, which was -still- playing the tape Havoc inserted hours ago...
...and after a slight swooning, a green-haired girl was sitting in Cyclops' place on the couch.
Dark Mayhem quickly ejected the tape from the VCR and read the label. "Looks like Havoc got an 8 hour tape and made his own Dojifest compilation..." He then discreetly pocketed the tape while no one was looking...
"Like I said Anarchy," repeated Pesti-chan, "it's a long story..."
After the long story...
Anarchy (STILL sober!): "So now we have to think up TWO psuedonyms for him?! One male and one female?"
Chaos: "Seems that way."
Pesti-chan: "How about Musumeto Musako."
Dark Mayhem: "'Son and daughter?' Clever."
Chaos: "Ranma 1/2's Tsubasa Kurenai would probably be more appropriate."
Dark Mayhem (sarcasm personified!): "For you maybe..."
Pesti-chan (completely ignoring the others): "That can be the male name, and Musakoto Musume can be the female one! It's brilliant!"
Anarchy (acting like she cares...): "It fits."
Dark Mayhem: "It's the best we can do on short notice."
Cyclops (frustrated 'cuz he can't sound mad!): (Ò_Ó) It's stupid.
Pesti-chan: (^-^) "Then it stays!"
Chaos: "People will most likely catch on to it when they know both names and never see Musako and Musume in the same room."
Dark Mayhem: "Face it, in this world, even Umino with access to our supercomputer couldn't figure it out."
Pesti-chan (ego reaching Chaos-like proportions!) "Even if people complain that the names are a mouthful, they can still be shortened to Musa-kun and Musu-chan! Ha ha!"
Dark Mayhem (something's wrong!): "Hey, when did we enter into this form of rapid dialogue? I thought that this wasn't the author's style."
Anarchy (don't you know why?): "I prefer it this way."
Pesti-chan (finally calming down?): Demo, it's starting to give me a headache...
Anarchy (NOT impressed!): Oh fine, we'll change it back to how it was before.
Cyclops sighs. "Alright alright alright, Musako Musumeto and Musume Musakoto it is. Er... other way around with the last name first though right? Fine."
Chaos, aside to Dark Mayhem. "Ne, shouldn't we select anime character names for him?"
Dark Mayhem, whispering back. "And ruin Pesti-chan's moment? It's tempting, but I don't think it'd work anyway since we're dealing with an Underlord Cadet here. No names would take properly really."
"Hai hai." agreed Chaos.
Cyclops leaned back on the couch. "Now that that's cleared up, I've been wondering: how do you smite?"
"With cows in bathtubs, mostly."
(o_O) "No no, I mean, how does one smite?"
The author was about to have Chaos delve into a deep explanation of the Art Of Smiting, detailing the finer points of umbrella fencing, bathtub aerodynamics and cow physics, but instead the author has decided to simply refer everyone to the Omake Theater Extra from F6! Part II as well as the Bedlamfic. None-the-less, Pesti-chan gave a
short cabbage demonstration while Anarchy released a drunken AT Field towards Chaos as she took time away from her sake-araoke with Tasuki.
What? You expected her to stay sober for the ENTIRE fanficfic?!
Pesti-chan winced as he saw Chaos spatula himself from the wall. "OK, now you try it."
A handful of snow falls onto Chaos' head.
Pesti-chan smiled. "Well at least we know what it'll be. Concentrate a bit more this time."
After more effort, a full-fledged snowball lands on the snowpile, which is still on Chaos' head of course.
Pesti-chan starting acting like an otaku drill sergeant. "C'mon, that's still real small! One more time, put everything behind it!"
This time Cyclops concentrates REALLY hard. Soon thereafter a shadow loomed from above over Chaos' head. He meekly looked up to see a fully built snowman, top hat, carrot nose, coal eyes and all, fall onto his head.
Anarchy smiled. "As a semi-female avatar that's essentially an empty vessel, there's a great amount of potential that I should be working to corrupt to the Dark Side of the Fic, if I weren't too sloshed to take advantage of it that is."
Cyclops appraised the snowman. "Wow..."
Pesti-chan was pleased. "With some work, you could make that into actual ice you know, then you'd really be hurting people when you smite."
"Oh?" warbled the snowman with Chaos' voice. "And a hundred pounds of tightly packed snow *doesn't* hurt? Besides, where do you get off training MY underlord cadet?!"
"Yare yare." replied Pesti-chan as he pulled his frozenship free of the snowman.
"Mayhem?" questioned Pesti-chan.
"Snow powers! Wintery snow powers!! Wintery water-based snow powers!!!"
"Y-Y-Yeah? And-d-d?" asked a teeth-chattering Chaos.
"He's got an inside track on my Ami-chan!"
"You're just pa-pa-paranoid," stated a nearly thawed Chaos. "We all kn-know he's after MY MAKO-KO-CHAN!"
Chaos is downed by a cabbage avalanche. "WHOSE MAKO-CHAN?!"
(o_O) "I need some air..." began the tuckered out Cyclops.
"Man that's dizzying..."
"Hai." agreed Chaos, not liking the way Anarchy was looking at him as if another smiting demonstration was inevitable. "Methinks it's time for a walk, that way any future damages invoked won't be to what's left of this place." He cast another glance at Anarchy, then finished his thought. "We'll leave them here of course."
-----Shortly thereafter in downtown Tokyo, Japan-----
Kino Makoto was walking down the street when she saw three, no, make that four fanboys. She recognized three of them, but who was the fourth?
"That tall one reminds me of senpai..." Blink. "AND Shinozaki-kun!"
Makoto turns around to see her fellow Inner Senshi running towards her. As she awaited their arrival she turned back to the fanboys and saw the three she was familiar with and...
...and a girl Ami-chan's height with bright green shoulder-length hair who was wearing the Jyuban High girls' fuku.
Makoto blinked. Hard. "Na ni?"
"I've never been all that fond of that particular perspective switching technique..." commented Dark Mayhem.
"Aw hell..." drawled Cyclops as he glumly readjusted his blue pleated skirt and the bright red bow on his, er, her ample chest.
"Hey Chaos!" laughed Pesti-chan. "You don't hold the record for fasted dragqueen-clothes-change anymore!"
"Oh yeah! We'll see about that! FANBOY PLANET POW-"
"That's ok Chaos, it's not like I'm all that eager to remain the record-holder, you can break it later."
"You got that right."
"I still think it was blind luck that my Mako-chan turned away when you saw her." said Pesti-chan.
"Blind luck or not, it was a really good idea to keep the Jyuban fuku in that pan-dimension pocket of yours." said Dark Mayhem.
"Hi guys!" chirped an approaching Usagi. "Who's she?"
"And where'd that guy who was just with you go?" questioned a still puzzled Makoto.
"Oh him? Umm, he's my brother..."
Chaos nudged Cyclops ever so gently (you bruised my avatar!) and started whispering to him. "Baka! If you were brother and sister you'd have the same surname, ne?!"
Cyclops quickly caught on to that fact and brilliantly countered with... "Cousin!! He's my cousin! I'm an only child, I don't have any brothers! Yes that's right, he's my cousin Musumeto Musako, not my brother, but he had to go. I'm Musakoto Musume."
Usagi was her usual chipper self and remained oblivious to the painfully obvious cover-up. "Well, we're heading to the mall, would you like to come Musu-chan? Erp, do you mind if I call you that Musume? Musume? Daijobu?"
Cyclops was distracted however as he was repeating something of extreme importance over and over under his breath. "Must respond to Musume! Must respond to Musume! Must respond to Musu..." Blink. "Sorry Ser--I mean Usagi, what did you say?"
Dark Mayhem groaned. "Now I remember why I don't look back on my own rookie days as 'golden years...'"
Her hair, which was that of an odango-haired princess, bounced with her every word. Amazingly though, Usagi was STILL oblivious to Cyclops' blunders. "I asked you if you'd like to come to the mall with us?" She turned to the fanboys. "You guys are invited too of course! By the way, I'm Tsukino Usagi," she pointed at a dark-haired
shrine girl, "that's Hino Rei," she pointed at a long-haired blonde, "that's Aino Minako," she pointed at a tall brunette, "that's Kino Makoto, but her friends call her Mako-chan," lastly she pointed at a girl typing furiously on a pocket computer who seemed to be a blue-haired genius, "and that's Mizuno Ami."
Though the thought of spending a day at the mall with the Inner Senshi would normally invoke a "HELL YEAH!" response from him, Cyclops was currently as female physically as the Senshi themselves. This caused him to simply utter a weak "Um, sure..." instead.
At that Usagi instantly grabbed Cyclops' arm and began dragging him (her?) towards the mall at a rapid pace. Then Rei caught up to them and told the 'baka' that she was dragging the 'poor girl' in the wrong direction. Soon the mall's true location was discovered, corrections were made, and they began to travel in earnest.
After a short time, Ami started to walk beside Cyclops. "Ne, Musu-chan, you seem familiar to me. Have we met before?"
Cyclops cleared his throat with that Amy Anderson-voice. "I don't think so." He stared at the ground as he walked. "Um, Usagi said you're Amy Mizuno right?"
"Mizuno Ami is the proper pronunciation actually." Ami thought for but a moment. "You're visiting here in Japan for how long?"
Cyclops didn't even notice that she guessed his predicament correctly. "I'm not sure. A little while at least."
"Where are you from? That accent you have sounds really familiar to me for some reason, but I can't place it."
Cyclops put his hand behind his head as he laughed nervously at the remark. "Ah, Canada, but my family is originally from Japan."
It was a half-truth: He WAS from Canada, and Futaba-chan IS originally from Japan!
Minako joined the conversation. "Hmm, there is a bit of a resemblance. Maybe you're related."
Unsure of what to do, Cyclops went with it. "Possibly."
For a reason known only to himself, Dark Mayhem abruptly smiled like a madman.
So did Havoc...
"KYAAAAAAA!!!" shouted, well, every female within viewing distance of the pantythieves.
Minako suddenly shouted "SCATTER!" as the Sailor Venus leadership persona took command of her psyche. At least that's what it seemed like. Truthfully it was the hentai part of her psyche that was now dominating as the 'scatter' tactic was merely a ploy to get everyone out of the way so she could snare Havoc in the Yggdrasil jacket which she now brandished high above her bow-adorned head.
Whilest Havoc was desperately evading his "NA-CHAN!"-yelling pursuer, Havoc-chan went after the closest target.
Naturally it ended up being Cyclops.
His reaction, completely warranted, still sounded very peculiar when spoken with the dub voice he sported.
"Oh shit I forgot there's two of those hentai sons-a-bitches."
The bra-thief makes her move, which is over before anyone can even blink. When all is said and done, Havoc-chan's hands are...
"Na ni?" queried the confused panty pilferer. A quick glance around saw the Senshi now grouped together ready to henshin should the situation warrant it, Minako there only because she had lost track of Havoc-kun of course, while the fanboys were seen still standing on the sidewalk just as they were when the Havocs first appeared. But there
was no sign of Cyclops, green-haired girl nor brown-haired boy.
The Amy Anderson voice was suddenly heard however, and it was coming from... atop a lamppost?
"Wow..." it began. "That was pretty cool."
Rei, not to mention everyone else standing there, was dumbfounded. "Musu... Musu-chan EVADED Havoc-chan?!"
Undaunted, Havoc-chan blazed towards the lamppost.
When she reached it Cyclops was already standing next to a post office box on the other side of the four lane street.
Havoc-chan tried again, and again, and yet again but met with no success. Cyclops was (in Musu-chan form at least) incredibly agile and unbelievable fast.
"Do you think that's another power he gets Chaos?" asked Pesti-chan as he watched the black streak chase the green streak.
"What, keeping his panties in an attempt to keep his dignity?"
"I think it's a little late for that actually." countered Dark Mayhem.
"Actually I mean amazing agility and dexterity." finished Pesti-chan.
"HOTCHA!" shouted Havoc. The '-kun' one. "Now THAT'S a POWER!"
"Havoc, don't you think we should wait until our author reads this and adds these comments for us himself?"
"RIGHT Pesti-chan," began Dark Mayhem matter-of-factly, "like Havoc's going to just sit and WAIT to make a hentai comment."
Suddenly the black streak closed in on the green streak, but is abruptly redirected on an 80 degree angle upwards towards the Pacific Ocean.
"Cream Lemon on the high seas can't be good." observed Chaos.
Still weary of the male Havoc, Cyclops spun about, ready to use her blistering speed to evade the pervking.
And within mere moments, Havoc is bounding about holding a single pair of pastel green panties.
"Huh?" began Pesti-chan. "I don't get it... how come he-- er, she can keep Havoc-chan at bay, but not Havoc-kun?"
"Because it's more embarrassing this way." concluded Dark Mayhem.
Chaos scrutinized the panties that were spinning about Havoc's index finger. "HEY! THOSE are MINE!"
First the Senshi looked quizically at Chaos, then shamefully at Cyclops.
"Havoc stole my only pair earlier today." shouted Cyclops a little to quickly, even if it was true. "My luggage was lost on the flight over from Canada and this is the only outfit I have."
Minako was horrified. Was it because Musu-chan had had to wear Chaos' panties? Was it because Havoc had stolen her panties too? (which he had of course) Was it because she feared she misplaced her precious Yggdrasil jacket?
Or was it because her friend Musu-chan had only ONE outfit?
"That's it!" exclaimed Minako. "We HAVE to get you to the mall RIGHT NOW!!"
Oh the horror that is wardrobelessness.
But first, Havoc had to be dealt with...
Cyclops was able to use his (her?) incredible attributes to recapture the stolen panties. He then began in motion something that would forever rank with amongt conflicts such as the irresitable force vs. the immovable object and "What about that guy, Yang Wen-Li?" as one of the greatest stalemates in history.
"Why don't you steal the panties your female self is wearing?"
Havoc stopped immediately and began to rub his chin. "To steal panties from oneself WOULD be the ultimate challenge! My opponent knows my every tactic... my every move!" By now his eyes glinted with what pure joy. "The challenge OH the CHALLENGE!"
And off he went in search of his female counterpart. Of course he managed to steal everyone's bras and panties before he left, but the evasion efforts and non-Cream Lemoning anti-Havoc technique garnered both the Senshi's respect and friendship.
As the girls swarmed around their new friend, the fanboys grudgingly agreed. "With that Havoc tactic, he earned it."