Anarchy, for the most part sober, was soothing Rampage. Apparantly she had chipped a tooth on the big-ass Berserk sword and sought out a kindred soul for comfort.
Anarchy snickered. "You realize she'll be teething too, ne?"
"Shimatta not two of them at once..." replied Chaos as Catastrophe suckled her pacifier.
"I once heard a quote by a paleontologist named Robert Bakker," began Cyclops. "He said 'I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.' Think Rampage's species applies?"
"You could ask her herself." replied Dark Mayhem. "She's currently nibbling on your right hand."
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!"
"No no no, it's 'tah-su-key-tay.' Here, let me show you..." Chaos pried the mascot from Cyclops' arm and attaches her to his own. "I can't believe I just did that, how stup-KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! TASUKETEEEEE!!!"
Cyclops looked scared. "How come she tried to eat my arm?"
"Probably just because you're Chaos' Underlord Cadet."
"But you were his Underlord at one time too Pesti-chan!"
"True, but you actually LIKE the dragqueen."
Suddenly Sarcasm entered from her bedroom. Apparantly she was taking a breather as no one was waiting to be served at the kitchen table.
(I know it's ecchi, but it's supposed to be this time!)
"I heard a male voice out here earlier," began the harem mistress. "Whose was it?"
Cyclops was quick to answer, actually thankful for the Amy Anderson voice. "Ah, I'm the only one here. You must've been mistaken."
"Possibly, I was a little busy earlier when I heard it."
"We know," droned Pesti-chan. "We heard you."
"Why no Herself The Elf?" pondered Chaos as Sarcasm turned to reenter her room.
"Cyclops' author couldn't find the ribbon in the prop room at Anipike Studios." answered Dark Mayhem.
Sarcasm turned around while in the doorframe. She began pointing at Cyclops. "Still, her kawaii-factor is threatening it's eminent appearance, so I'm outta here. Besides, because my current visitor took two numbers from the Take-A-Number pad, so I've got appointments to keep!" She reentered her room.
"If you're going to be here for a while during your character development, we may as well get you settled in." rationalized Dark Mayhem.
Pesti-chan recalled a quote from their reading of the second part of Neo-Haruka's fanficfic.
Naturally it was a quote by Havoc, who was more than happy to repeat it aloud.
"Since Chaos sleeps female, why don't you just share his room?"
"Yeah and you can borrow one of my nighties if you-- NA NI?!"
"Great thanks, I-- WHAT?!"
Pesti-chan rolled his eyes. "That just doesn't have the same effect as 'NA NI?!' does it?"
"You expect me to wear those things? What do you take me for?! I..."
Cyclops paused mid-rant when he noticed that he didn't actually sound angry. He then went Bambi-eyed when "Why the hell can't I sound mad?!" ended up sounding like a sultry come-on and tears started to flow a la Usagi. Any Anderson crying was a pity-inducing sound indeed.
Carnage looked wearily at Cyclops as a kawaii kitty-eared and tailed Chaos meekly held a frilly beige negligee towards the crying fanperson. The master of all mecha just shook his head. "Ara, not *another* dragqueen..."
Time passed. Cyclops de-Futaba-ed. Night fell. This caused Havoc to Maze, which in turn caused Cyclops to re-Futaba, or POOMPH if you will, resulting in him having to grudgingly take up Chaos on his offer of sleeping arrangements. He also wore the beige nightie since he was too upset to retrieve his new baby blue one.
The next morning found Chaos fuming in SD mode since not only had Rampage eaten most of the nightie, but Cyclops also became 'un-excited' while sleeping, thereby resulting in two of Chaos' nighties being destroyed.
Havoc was equally upset, yet managed to console himself by salvaging the scraps for reasons which caused him to ricochet off of Carnage's shiny (albeit grossly misplaced) Deathscythe Hell Custom mecha as he was booted to the sky.
Mayhem and Pesti-chan took a cue from Anarchy and Tasuki's various sake-araoke parties and drank their hard lemonade in a vain attempt to block the entire incident from their minds forever. Carnage merely lived up to his namesake when he opened the door as they left for Rei's temple home where Makoto's cooking lesson would be held.
Cyclops was hoping that Musako would be able to attend the lesson, but that was appearing less and less likely as they noticed a lone Senshi standing at the base of the long stairway.
Let's peek at Cyclops' thought process as they approached.
'It's only Lita just Lita only Lita not worth getting 'excited' over. Lita I can handle this is very easy to handle this since it's only Lita and no one else but Lita and holy crap she's looking at me and she's looking like she's kinda excited and that's a good thing but it's bad because it'll make me excited and I can't be excited but I can handle it because it's only Lita...'
"Hey wait for us!"
'It's only Lita... and Amy and Serena and Mina. Four of them is arrrrgghh it's ok as long as it's not all five of them and look there's Raye at the top of the steps waving them up...'
"Damnit..." began Cyclops as he was again quickly decked out in his green emsemble of female attire once more in as much time as it'd take Havoc to steal Faye Valentine's panties.
"I'm beginning to see your point Mayhem." stated Pesti-chan.
"Na ni?" replied Dark Mayhem.
"The Senshi only get fleeting glimses of him before he becomes a girl. Did you notice how they once again were looking the other way during the change?" remarked Pesti-chan.
"It's just a widespread Kuno effect he's emitting, that's all. As his experience grows, so will his disorder. This is just a natural progression of it." stated Chaos.
"So because I was so inexperienced I got stuck with this disorder, and with each anime I do watch, the worse my disorder will get in not only my ability to control it and sound mad, but also in how unlikely it'll be for the Scouts to catch on?" pleaded Cyclops, desperately hoping Chaos was wrong, which he wasn't.
Suddenly they all heard a disembodied "NOOOoooooooo......" surrounding them.
Chaos looked around. "Na ni?"
"I think it was the author finally realizing what he's written himself into." replied Dark Mayhem.
"Sounded like 'a single keening, wail of loss' to me."
"Very subtle, Pesti-chan." remarked Chaos.
"They're never gonna figure it out either are they, the Scou--er... Senshi and my disorder I mean?" interrupted Cyclops hoping that if they did he'd receive a semblance of sympathy from said Senshi.
"The day that happens will be the same day I don't combust upon contact with Ami. That said, I hope the Senshi notice your disorder REAL QUICK!" replied Dark Mayhem.
"I bet that if Cameraman Dan taped his POOMPHing, somehow the tape would become defective before the Senshi ever saw it." remarked Chaos.
"You think we should set Minako loose on him? Just because she keeps hunting after Havoc doesn't mean she won't go for an alternate, ne?" proposed Pesti-chan.
"Somehow I don't think a kawaii green-haired schoolgirl classifies as a boyfriend, Pesti-chan."
"So? It'd refocus him away from my Mako-chan."
"AND away from your Ami-chan."
"Besides, Havoc wouldn't mind either, as he'd end up helping distract Minako, and you know what that leads to." finished Pesti-chan.
As they neared the Senshi, Chaos drew a manuscript from his pocket.
"CHAOS! Put that Chaosfic away! If you thought Setsuna wanted to hurt you for writing 'Card Captor Setsuna' and 'Desperately Seeking Setsuna' how do you think Minako will react to 'There's Something About Minako'?!"
"Hmmm, good point Mayhem. I'll get Rei to sign 'Sailor Mars Attack!' instead."
"Ohayo guys!" greeted Mako-chan at the most opportune time to stray from the Chaosfic plot device, no one really noticing that she was curiously scanning the group. "Where's your cousin Musako-san, Musu-chan?"
Cyclops blushed, causing a truly kawaii site in his--er... her all-green outfit.
"Ah, he had to run off again. His, ah... beeper went off and he had to rush to a meeting."
"Oh, well maybe next time." She thought for a moment. "His beeper goes 'POOMPH?'"
"Ehhh, yeah, it's the latest thing..."
As they reached the top of the steps, Carnage opened the door for them to enter the shrine, much to Rei and and a suddenly appearing Miyu's delight as they each shackled themselves to one of his arms.
"How come he opens every door properly but ours?" asked a curious Chaos as he entered.
"Likely a contractual obligation..." replied Dark Mayhem following him in. "I'll look into it to see if we can hold him liable or not."
"Na-chan's not here either?" asked Minako as she entered. She wasn't upset for long though as she smiled upon seeing Cyclops walk in behind her, whom she joyfully hugged. "Well our other new friend Musu-chan's here, so she can join us! Right Musu-chan!" Minako blinked and tugged on the sleeves of his jacket as ehr eyes lit up.
"Sugoi! That's the jacket we bought you yesterday! You look great!"
Cyclops merely blushed again.
And the three fanboys smiled at each other like cheshire cats upon realizing that Minako was at least taking a liking to Cyclops one way or another.
(Don't be thinking anything ecchi or hentai here, it's rather simple to understand the fact that partial interest can easily be expanded into full interest right? Well, if Minako becomes good friends with Cyclops in Musu-chan form, the fanboys are merely imagining how much she'll like him in Cyclops/Musa-kun form! This naturally makes the fanboys happy at it distracts him from their respective beloveds! Havoc would be pleased too as it would stop
Minako from chasing him remember!)
Right, so with that interruption-from-the-author taken care of, they were smiling like cheshire cats, at least Chaos was until Hotaru let it be known that Makoto had invited the Outers as well by glomping onto his arm.
Naturally Harkua and Michiru's presence triggered the still-shot pastel entrance which Chaos managed to smudge handily as he tripped on the various cherry blossoms.
Setsuna would have appeared as well, but Havoc (who was hoping Cyclops was willing to follow Rule 3 with Minako whenever possible) was not yet accounted for, so she had to stay on guard to protect her precious temporal panties.
Well, include Dark Mayhem in the 'at least he was smiling' category as well since it was fairly hard to tell just what expression he had on his face after Ami snuggled up to him setting him ablaze.
Anyway, with those additional interruptions-from-the-author out of the way, Makoto's cooking class consisted mostly of Dark Mayhem showing how well he can flambé just about anything (with an assist going to a frisky Ami every time), Chaos being smited on seven total occassions: four for groping Makoto's breasts four times, once for
looking at Hotaru while Haruka was nearby and two times for mispronouncing Star Sailor Polaris' name twice. All-in-all, Makoto proceeded in teaching nothing to anyone, just like last time.
Oh, you wanted to read about the actual cooking class itself? Well, Cyclops did get all 8 girls to simultaneously shout "Sugoi!" when he, no, she started a little snowdrift that formed an SD Sailor Senshi. Carnage smited it royally claiming it resembled a 'yamhead' and everyone left it at that. Other than that, they made a mess of
cooking really, and specific details will hereby be ignored because it's already been done in the Fanboys! series itself... twice!
Near the end of the class the fanboys heard Haruka casually say something aside to Michiru.
"Ne Michi-chan, Musu-chan is kind of cute don't you think?"
Michiru replied sternly, yet somehow curiously as well. "But not as cute as me, ne Ruka?"
(o_O) "Um guys?" began a somewhat frantic Cyclops. "Can we leave now? Please?"
(O_o) "I think that might be a good idea..." answered Chaos, kawaii kitty ears, tail and all.
The fanboys thanked Makoto for the lesson, apologized to Rei for the damages, then began another trek back to their apartment.
During this Pesti-chan gets blasted somehow. It was inevitable, so does it really matter how?
What? It does?
Havoc showed up touting a painting of Cyclops as Musume, wearing, well, it's a Havoc painting so you know what to expect. Anyway, Cyclops didn't take too kindly to that...
"You've painted me as Musume already?!"
"Hai! Isn't it grand?"
Cyclops answered by promptly taking Havoc's paintbrush and viciously whalloping Havoc's...
The fanboys winced. "Hentai."
Pesti-chan was point blank for the resulting Cream Lemon, though with all that hentastic green I think Cream Lime would be more appropri...
Havoc get away from my keyboard! Go steal Card Captor Sakura's panties. I know that, so go take them from the North American one from Nelvana, she'll most likely be of age. OK great, good luck!
Alright, where was I? Oh yeah, the Cream Lim-- er, Lemon.
It acted as an energy blast.
"I may not be very strong or know how to--"
"How many times have we heard this before?" Chaos presses the fast-forward button on the Remote Control Of The Gods.
"Give me that!" Mayhem grabs the remote and returns Pesti-chan to normal speed.
"--a little... dangerous."
Dark Mayhem spoke under his breath. "Hmmm, maybe that wasn't such a bad idea afterall..."
"What was that Mayhem?" queried Chaos.
"Huh? Oh, I just said that that was a horrible idea Sailor Dragqueen!" He hands Chaos a whip. "Speaking of which, you know what to do! Makoto's not here so it's up to you."
"Well now, I think that the only way to LEARN is to actually DO by oneself! Therefore, I think it would be best if we allowed our Underlord Cadet Cyclops here a chance to really LEARN something today, ne? Remember now, you have to make him call you the queen..."
Chaos holds the whip towards Cyclops...
...who, aware that she can't really sound mad in Musu-chan mode, merely smiles a kawaii little smile, bats her big green eyes...
...and causes Chaos to nearly soil himself as the big-ass Berserk sword cleaved into the ground mere milimetres from his left foot.
(o.O) "On second thought, this IS a bit of an advanced lesson for you, I think we should start off a little more slowly with your training..."
Chaos, now Sailor Haley, began sulkingly towards the Zoantropied Pesti-chan while mumbling "Et tu, Cyclops?"
"You know," began Carnage as he brandished his massive Zanba blade, "That sword's not half bad."
"But it's still not big enough is it?" asked Dark Mayhem.
"Nothing ever is."
Sailor Haley darted forward shouting "Special Technique, Cool-Ass Pose!"
Cyclops snapped her fingers, which was a surprise since he couldn't do that before he POOMPHed. "Nike from the Mahoujin Guru Guru Movie!"
Dark Mayhem cast her a glance full of surprise. "Na ni?"
"What? I have seen *SOME* anime remember!"
Of course, with this being Chaos, his--er... her Cool-Ass Pose didn't last long before Beans took offense for no reason (does she ever need one?) and smited him repeatedly with many a terrified octopus.
Though Carnage seemed preterbed by the incident, Dark Mayhem merely laughed.
"The world looks like it's about to end, yet you are remarkably calm." noticed Cyclops.
"We're used to this sorta thing." replied Dark Mayhem.
"Still, it's pretty impressive. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the situation."
"With Chaos we never do..."
-----A short time later at the fanboys' apartme... what you want resolution HERE too? Too bad! It's resolved as usual, so just accept it...---