We find Chaos typing away at his computer once more.
"Masaka, not another Chaosfic! What's the title of this one?" Pesti-chan glanced at the screen. "'Lina-tic Party?!'"
Chaos' reply was casual. "Be glad it's not 'Luna-tic Party.'"
o.O "Trust me, I am..."
"Me too." stated Havoc while he flipped through a manga, "since I began work on that particular Havocfic just last night. By the way, how's work coming on your 'Hotaru On Haunted Happosai House' story?"
"NA NI?! She's STILL only TWELVE!" Blink. "Besides, that's YOUR story Havoc!"
"So it is..." replied Havoc as he glanced over the rough draft before pocketing it once more and returning to the manga. "Of course, she is in Mistress Nine mode at the time." He then turned to Cyclops, who was sitting demurely in in Musu-chan mode. "Anyway, I finally realized where I've seen you before."
Havoc reveals that the manga he's reading is issue one of Futaba-kun Change, then opens it to the two-page spread of the bathroom scene, holding it up for all to see...
"YAAAAA!! She's only wearing a jacket and shirt in that!"
"So?" remarked Chaos who was snickering at how alluring Cyclops' outburst ended up sounding.
"Chaos..." growled Cyclops hoping it didn't sound as sensuous to everyone else as it did to himself, "they're unbuttoned..."
Incredulously, "And I look just like her..."
Everyone turned to face Havoc.
"Naturally it took me a while to remember which manga it was since this isn't really a hentai manga. Still, I always do background checks on prospective Planet Hentai employees, especially since Futaba-chan was a pro-wrestler in the manga, which means Cyclops here could be a future Miss Ecchiban that I could cross-promote with Havoc-brand lime-green Jello. Anyway, I'm glad I managed to figure it out before I got booted yet again." He glaced at the page once more and then at Cyclops' pantyhose encased legs, one crossed over the other. "Oooooh, the legs of a thoroughbred!"
"And a kick to match..." observed Dark Mayhem.
"Duck and cover!" shouted Chaos.
Nothing fell from the sky.
"We didn't get Cream Lemoned!" exclaimed Pesti-chan.
"5 bucks says Desolation did though." bet Chaos.
"Why him?" questioned Pesti-chan.
Cyclops was barely able to mumble "Planet... Hentai...? Miss... Ecchiban...?!"
"Don't fight it Cyclops." advised Dark Mayhem. "That'll just be you vs. fate and destiny, and Sailor Pluto doesn't like it when people do that."
"Think he's gone for the rest of the fanficfic?" inquired Pesti-chan looking through the impromptu skylight.
"If I answer that, he'll just come back you know." responded Chaos.
Pesti-chan sighed "Hai." Now he pondered. "I think Havoc's near his record for bootings and subsequent re-entries from F8! Part 1. And since he gets a new pair of panties with each booting, not to mention the fact Cyclops is destined to be an Ecchiban superstar, he's likely quite pleased with how this fanficfic is turning out."
"What about the Christmasfic or MSTfic 2?" asked Carnage.
"Nah, those were just smites in the Christmasfic. Nothing from the 'Special Moment' MST can be held against us because of the unconventional circumstances we were forced to endure."
Cyclops was distracted however as he had suddenly went wide-eyed with fear. (yes Havoc stole his... her panties again, but that's not it. It's because the author had just finished reading F6! while first writing this paragraph and decided to add this bit in) He thanked any gods who were listening at the time for having Havoc be free of his mega-playboy inducing Yggdrasil jacket.
Cyclops then "EEP!"ed as the author just read the aforementioned Christmasfic during the writing of THIS paragraph and was REALLY thankful that he actually missed that Christmas party for fear of what her big-ass Berserk sword would look like!
Cyclops then simply went googly-eyed as she realized she was wondering if she'd look good in a skimpy little Santa's helper outfit. Therefore it should be of no surprise to anyone that Cyclops flat out fainted onto the floor.
Dark Mayhem ignored the thump. "We didn't get to see Dark Schnieder during the fanficfic?"
"You consider that a BAD thing?" asked Pesti-chan.
"Kinda, since he is a kick-ass part of my bitchin' character."
"Now you're just grasping Mayhem." admonished Chaos.
"Do you want to be Megadethed fuckboy?" snarled the aggrevated sorcerer.
"Um, he probably showed up in our author's sections of the fanficfic." begged Chaos.
Dark Mayhem calmed down, no longer consindering giving Ami a call to invoke some necromancy. "Yeah, you're probably right."
"What the hell do I do for Valentine's Day here?!" questioned the again male Cyclops as he awoke from the floor.
"Avoid it like the plague." countered Chaos.
"You may have a point, though I still think I could get used living it here. I mean it has it's drawbacks, but Chaos has survived with similar ones. Granted he's a Sailor for that, but still... I'm definitely going to hang around, what with all the great anime girls all over the place! Ahhhh..." (^_^)
(-_-) "Aw shimatta." He blinked. "HEY! I didn't automatically say 'damnit!' Cool!"
"You mean after all that all he's really learned is how to swear properly?" whined an exasperated Chaos.
"Sounds like a successful first couple days to me." remarked Carnage as he opened his fifty-eigth bottle of Windex All-Surface Cleaner and resumed working on his Zanba blade.
Dark Mayhem made a mental note to buy into its parent company's stock as long Carnage had access to mecha.
Cyclops fixed the beret atop his head and turned to the entire cast--er, group. "I have just one real request to make before I head out for a while, other than getting my own place to stay nearby that is."
Dark Mayhem answered for them. "Well, Hysteria said you lived in the apartment above ours, and since it was vacated shortly after Carnage first showed up along with the other seven or so floors above it, you may as well take it. Demo, what's the request?"
"Whenever I'm like this," Cyclops indicated his kawaii green-haired self, "I'd like to see NO Yggdrasil bugs nearby." She shuddered. "I hate to think how I'd act then..."
"You got it! Before you go though, tell me what you think..." Chaos holds up two dresses to himself. "Blue or red?"
"Either work... but the blue is more Ami-chan's colour."
"Are you kidding me? I would look so much better in this than she would!"
"You? No. I bet I could get away with it though."
Not only was this enough to cause Pesti-chan to split into his six SD selves, but the shadows suddenly emitted the stealthy Riot, an eager look about his face. Well, as eager as one can look when squinting like he was.
"Did I just hear a most honourable challenge being issued?"
Pesti-chan #1 answered dreamily, obviously picturing his beloved Mako-chan in both gowns. "Not unless you count a fashion contest honourable."
Riot looked crestfallen. "Anything-goes martial arts crossdress-fu? Most dishonourable."
"Crossdress-fu?" Carnage began towards his closet. "I wasn't told about any crossdress-fu when I signed that contract." He tore said contract in half. "That's it I'm outta here." With that he slammed the door behind him.
The purple-haried Ruckus suddenly fell from Riot's robes. She turned to him holding up a small keychain. "Next time CATCH the keys I toss to you and I won't have to hunt through your robe like that to find them!" She began to dust herself off, oblivious to her surroundings. "I can see why you have so much trouble finding your
weapons in there, what with all the..." She glanced around the room at the 21 sets of eyes (12 from the SD Pestis alone) staring at her.
"You guys need KEYS?!" freaked SD Pesti-chan #4.
"One always needs keys if they desire desire to engage in anything-goes martial arts unlock-fu." answered the shady Riot. "A most honourable challenge."
"Like that drag-fu challenge with Hysteria a while back?" asked Cyclops.
"She was a worthy, if cavity-inducing, opponent at the most honourable anything-goes martial arts drag-fu."
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Can we go? I want to see if that sexy locksmith is still at the door where I tied him... I mean left him."
As they disappeared, Cyclops started towards the door. Before he could open it however...
Chaos opened it to reveal a deliverman holding a foot-long box. "Is Cyclops here?"
Chaos, one eyebrow raised, sidestepped so Cyclops could answer him. "Yes?"
The deliveryman handed Cyclops the small box and produced a clipboard. "Sign here please for this box and then on the 12 forms underneath it for the remaining crates."
Cyclops searched for a box's return address, but it lacked one. He looked to the deliveryman. "Might I ask who it's from?"
"Magical Girl Assignment Agency."
"Iiiiii think you've got the wrong Cyclops."
The deliveryman looked upset. "Shimatta, now we've got to lug those 12 crates of wardrobe back to the Agency."
As eager as Chaos was to sign the wardrobe forms, Cyclops moved a mite faster. "I'll sign those other 12, but I think you should have this little box sent back and tell the Agency to re-evaluate their decision to make me a Magical Girl."
"That'll take 8 months. You sure?"
Cyclops smiled happily. "VERY sure."
He handed Cyclops the forms. "Alright, sign these and we'll start bringing the crates up. You want them here?"
"Actually no, my place will be the apartment directly above. I'm heading out but I'll take them in when I get back."
The deliveryman took back the forms once Cyclops finished signing them. "Sure thing. Domo arigato."
As he left, Chaos was speechless. Whether or not it was due to the loss of a huge wardrobe was uncertain.
"You mean you were chosen as a Magical Girl and turned it down?" Apparantly he was more upset about something else.
"I read your exploits, need I say more?"
"But... you can... just... REFUSE IT!"
"WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY TELL ME I COULD JUST REFUSE IT!"
"You sure Chaos isn't actually learning from Cyclops and not the other way around?" belted Anarchy during the guitar and saxophone segment of "Ito Oshii Hito no Tameni" from Fushigi Yugi.
"Well, I guess I'll go sign for the apartment, after stopping by Planet Hentai first."
Though destiny commanded it, it also commanded the fanboys' response. They freaked out. "Na ni?! You mean you decided to compete in Havoc's Ecchiban!"
"What? I gotta pay for the rent somehow. It'll be easier to get the place by telling them I'm employed." He grins slyly. "Besides, when I realized that I could win it seemed like a safe bet since Futaba-chan IS a professional wrestler in the manga. Hysteria said as much, and if I use the Red Queen clause..." He looks thoughful for a moment. "Maybe I should enter the CWF..."
"Well, good luck, I guess..." offered Pesti-chan.
"Thanks, see ya later guys."
"JA!" shout the three fanboys.
The door closes as Cyclops leaves.
"So..." began Dark Mayhem, "that -seemed- like a revengefic, but it had no revenge in it."
"We could always sew a Yggdrasil into an evening gown as a housewarming gift..." smirked SD Pesti-chan #3.
"That would probably qualify." replied SD Pesti-chan #6.
"That green-haired body in a slinky evening gown, Yggdrasilized?!" SD Pesti-chan #5 mentally prepared himself (as did everyone else) for his inevitable nosebleed geyser.
"Us getting revenge on an author who didn't attempt to smite us? I don't like that idea!" wailed SD Pesti-Chan #4.
"As long as Mayhem brings the popcorn..."
"But of course..." stated Dark Mayhem, already munching on the movie-theatre-butter variety.
"...then I'll get the material, Carnage can get the Yggdrasil and Chaos can start on the designs." finished SD Pesti-chan #2.
Chaos only absently responded. "Yare yare, I'll do that as soon as I'm done writing the first chapter of 'Jurai-sic Park.'"
And facevaults were experienced by all.
TO BE CONTINUED?
END FANFICFIC SPECIAL
OR IS IT?
(Wait, that was already implied by the 'TO BE CONTINUED?' bit... Ah just cue the endnotes!)
Bet you never saw that fic coming from me of all authors, eh?
Whenever you need help fighting off anyone in revengefics, or think that a cameo appearance would greatly disrupt a plotline, just give me a shout! You can reach me by yelling through one of your various skylights!
And yeah, I'm somewhat bitter, but at least I've made friends with the Senshi! Too bad it's as Musume though... Still, it's a start! Ahhhh, good friends with all five Inner Senshi...
For clarification, POOMPH! is the 'to Musu-chan' change sound effect while PHOOMP! is the 'to Musa-kun/normal Cyclops' change sound effect.
I hope I PHOOMP back soon... hmmm... think unsexy thoughts think unsexy thoughts think unsexy... (an image of Red Queen Jabba pops into view)
Anyway, here's my usual contact info:
Scott Summerton, Underlord Cadet Cyclops
firstname.lastname@example.org , email@example.com and firstname.lastname@example.org
ICQ - 7383852, AOL IM - DarkCanuck
Please also visit:
A Sailor Moon Romance
Lady Jupiter's Dream House
Curse of the Fanboys!
Began Sunday November 28th, 1999. Completed Sunday January 16th, 2000.
Desolation slowly stumbles into view, dripping Cream Lemon. "Hello? HELLO?" He looks up and notices the author's endnotes. "I missed the whole entire fanficfic? Oh well, I least I won't be hospitalized this ti-KYAAAAA!! THE DOCUMENT IS BEING IMPROPERLY SAVED! Not only will this hurt... a lot... but I'm already having those painful Lain flashba---
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