SCENE #009: He won’t bite, but do watch out for the claws

Chaos: “Well, I know Hotaru’s been asking Haruka and Michiru if she can have a pet, so maybe I’ll surprise her with her one! To the petshop…just so long as it’s not the Petshop of Horrors. Bad man-eating gerbil memories from that one. Brrrr!”

Narrator: “Chaos strolled into the pet store, a chime ringing as he opened the door. Numerous cages and brands of food or litter lined the shelves. And who should be running the pet ship but—“

Chaos: “Chang Wufei, of Gundam Wing?”

Wufei: [shrug] “It’s a living.”

Chaos: “Geez, you’ve really sunk low after you blew up your mobile suit in the Endless Waltz OVAs, ne?”

Wufei: “Just shut up about that, okay?”

Chaos: [glancing back] “Well, that does explain the ‘No Women’ sign on the door. Anyhoo, I’m looking for a present for my girlfriend. It’s our one-year anniversary today, and I know she’s been wanting a housepet for some time now. What do you have in stock?”

Wufei: “How about a Pikachu? Everyone loves a Pikachu.”

Chaos: >.< “Oh, for the love of all that is holy and fansubbed, NO! Anything but that!”

Wufei: “Okay, how about a Kodama?”

Chaos: “Um…don’t they chatter all the time? Hotaru won’t want to cuddle up to something that’ll keep her awake all night.”

Wufei: “If you want a really luxury pet, take a look at this aquarium over here. We just got this mermaid in from Hokkaido. Um…just don’t stick your finger in the water. She ate the last customer who tried that. Quite messily too, I might add.”

Chaos: ^^;; “How about something a little less lethal?”

Wufei: “And over here we have a horned Pegasus, recently captured while it was roaming around in Jyuban Park.”

Chaos: “That seems odd. Why would a Pegasus he holding up a sing that reads ‘Help Me!’ unless…Helios?!”

Wufei: “So what do you think?”

Chaos: “Er, I think I’ll stay away from that one. Got anything a little less exotic for an Anime housepet, Wufei?”

Wufei: “Are you buying for a magical girl? We’ve got this new line of cute, obligatory talking mascots in this week.”

Chaos: “Pass.”

Wufei: “Well, we do have this half-demon dog. He’s a little rough around the edges and his claws haven’t been trimmed yet, but he’s still very loyal.”

Chaos: “What’s his name?”

Wufei: “Inu Yasha.”

Inu Yasha: “Damn you, Kagome! I’ll get you for this if it’s the last thing I do!!”

Wufei: “As you can see, he’s a little unruly, but has been to obedience school. You should see him SIT.”

          [Inu Yasha’s face crashes onto the table.]

Chaos: “Ooooh, impressive!”

Wufei: “And if you buy him now, we throw in a free tick bath. And for an additional 3,500 Yen, we’ll also neuter him with a beam sabre.”

Chaos: “Hmm…that sounds very tempting.”

Inu Yasha: “DON’T YOU DARE, YOU BASTARD!!”

Chaos: “Bad demon dog, no biscuit! SIT!”

          [Inu Yasha does the facevault again!]

Chaos: ^-^ “Oooh, fun! I just might take this guy home for myself. What else do you have?”

Narrator: “So Chaos was there in the pet store when suddenly…he found himself surrounded by Puchuu bears.”

Puchuu bears: ^-^ “Puchuu!”

Chaos: o.O;; “What the?”

Puchuu bears: ^-^ “Puchuu?”

Chaos: “I’ve been surrounded by Puchuu bears!”

Narrator: “I just said that.”

Chaos: [sulking] “Oh fine, just steal all the good lines why don’t you?”

Narrator: “Having run afoul with the Puchuu’s, should Chaos’ reaction be: A) “Awwww, they’re so kawaii!!”, or; B) “What the hell are they?!”

          A) KAWAII!!
          B) WTF ARE THEY?!