SCENE #031: PLANET HENTAI

Narrator: “And so Chaos wound up at Planet Hentai…and then realised he had absolutely no idea what he could get Hotaru from there that wouldn’t get him killed.”

Chaos: [shrug!] “Well…you never know. Besides, when Hotaru wanted to get me something for Valentine’s Day, she went to Havoc for advice. Of course…that fic ended with me being chased by a gigantic breast.”

Narrator: “A-Ano….”

Chaos: “What are you looking at me like that for? I didn’t write that omakefic. As I recall I spent the greater portion of it screaming like a girl and running faster than Carrot Glaces at a topless beach. Even still, Havoc seems to know a fair bit about Hotaru. Maybe he could give me some pointers for a good present. If I could get something a little riske, but not terribly ecchi, this just might work!”

Narrator: “Don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten last year’s Confic, Chaos! Havoc was absolutely useless against that chibi-Havoc infestation at Setsuna’s beach house!”

Chaos: “He co-writes. Now hush.”

Narrator: [sigh!] “Hai… Of course, finding Havoc inside Planet Hentai was a much easier task said than done. During the day, the Planet was very quiet and most of the resident pervs were outdoors enjoying…sunshine…yes…lots and lots of sunshine… Anyhoo, Chaos spent a good twenty minutes scouring the club for Havoc, but without any luck.”

Chaos: “Hmmm…he’s not at the Critter Race…and I don’t see him at any of the tables either. And it’s too early in the day, so the dance floor’s deserted too! Shimatta, you’d think it would be easy to find a perv in the city’s fanservice hotspot.”

Narrator: “So what are you going to do?”

Chaos: “Well, there is the Hentorium…I guess.”

Narrator: “Naturally, Chaos carefully ventured into there with his hands clamped over his eyes.”

Chaos: “H-Hello? Havoc, are you in here?”

Narrator: “As it so happened, all he heard were some gush-gush noises, and Megumi Amano’s voice.”

Megumi: “He’s…not…here…right now…Chaos!”

Chaos: [lowering his hands] “Um, thanks Megumi. Can you let me know if—(o.O;;) OH! OH THAT IS JUST PLAIN WRONG! THOSE JUST SHOULDN’T GO THERE!!”

Narrator: “Stumbling out of the Hentorium, his poor eyes bleeding like what’s left of an extra from Ninja Scroll, Chaos wondered what he should do next.”

Chaos: “Break the 4th Wall yet again, and ask for an audience arbitration?”

Narrator: “Just as well. I’m not getting paid by the hour, so the sooner we finish this turkey, the safer my sanity is. Right then, should Chaos search for Havoc at: A) the gift shop; B) the Benkyo Brigade’s private booth, or; C) in the private nyotaimori rooms?”

          A) GIFT SHOP
          B) BENKYO BOOTH
          C) NYOTAIMORI ROOMS