SCENE #034: Exit Planet Hentai…enter the Wu

Narrator: “Seeing as how time was not on his side, Chaos left Planet Hentai and quickly scuttled down the street.”

Chaos: “Well, going there was an abysmal failure. The only way today could get any worse would be if Stimkbomb drove by on his motorcycle and poisoned me with his B.O.”

Narrator: “A young man on a bike, wafting poisonous green clouds of smoke behind him, suddenly shot on past Chaos.”

Chaos: o.O;; “Just a coincidence. That’s all it was…a coincidence.”

          [Chaos looks up]

Chaos: “Incidentally, the only way today could get any better would be me getting an award for my newest Chaosfics ‘Sugoi Ne, Mitsuru’ and ‘Tekkenman’!”

          [Dead silence]

Chaos: “Ahem! I said—“

Narrator: “I don’t think the author’s listening, Chaos.”

Chaos: --;; “Stupid author.”

          [Chaos gets clobbered by an octopi!]

Chaos: [grrrr!] “Well obviously *somebody* heard that!!”

Narrator: “As Chaos was busy sulking about his predicament, who should he encounter there at a nearby bus stop, but the eternally-lost, Desolation! And Deso, as it happened, was busy writing a letter to his beloved Kasumi Tendo.”

Desolation: [reading aloud as he writes] “’Dearest Kasumi, I think of you all the time. Even when the mermaids are stripping the meat off my bones, or when a falling Spear of Longinus pins my nasal cavity down through my feet. I hope we can meet again soon, and I can gaze upon your beauty and always-tranquil expression. Yours, Desolation. P.S.: Where the hell am I now?!’”

Chaos: “Hey, Deso.”

Desolation: “Hey, Chaos.”

Chaos: “Waiting for the next smite?”

Desolation: [facing the wrong direction] “More or less. Ne, do you happen to know what the author’s got slated for my next spatterific cameo, since I have to—“

Chaos: “Um…Deso? I’m over here.”

Desolation: ^^;; [turning to Chaos] “Oh…right.”

Chaos: “Shimatta, and I bet I’m running late too. Ne, Deso, you wouldn’t happen to know what time it is, would you?”

Desolation: “Certainly. It’s exactly four point six seconds before I get clobbered by another smite.”

Chaos: ^-^ “Oh good. (o.O;) WHAT?!”

Narrator: “But with his four point six seconds up, an ominous smite loomed over the two hapless fanboys! The only question remains, what sort of smite should be wreaked upon Desolation: A) he gets tackled by the entire Bugrom rugby team; B) a falling Gundam colony, or; C) the author’s fearsome Raging Ego?”

          A) BUGROM TACKLE
          B) GUNDAM COLONY
          C) RAGING EGO