SCENE #040: Hey, is that Havoc? No…it’s just Waldo.

Narrator: “And Chaos heads over to the giftshop!”

Chaos: “Well, with any luck, maybe I can salvage this trip to the Planet and find something for Hotaru here…just so long as Haruka or Michiru don’t kill me for buying something too ecchi.”

Narrator: “The giftshop turned out to be a two-floored promenade, complete with escalators, banners hanging from the ceiling, shelves upon shelves of various Planet Hentai pervaphrenelia, and a Starbuck-Nekkid Coffee chain built right in.”

Chaos: “Wow, I didn’t realise Havoc had his own brand of coffee. And are they using panties for coffee filters? And what on earth is a Miwohochino?”

Narrator: “Let’s not go there, Chaos. Young otaku are listening.”

Chaos: “Hmmm…this place has a lot of interesting shirts. Look at this one: ‘Naughty tentacles attacked the womens’ locker room at my Private Junior College, and all I got was this lousy Tshirt.’ Japan has private junior colleges?”

Narrator: “Yep, they’re called high schools.”

Chaos: “Hey, a bunnygirl leotard! And a Delmo uniform. For some strange reason I can’t help but think I’ve seen the Delmo thing before….”

Narrator: “Anyhoo, Chaos continued to search the giftshop, but found nothing that he either liked or knew would not get him smited.”

Chaos: “What about a tin of lesbian-flavoured cookies? Or maybe this harmless teddy bear…who’s anatomically correct?!”

Narrator: “Hey, nothing that small should realistically have such a long—“

Chaos: >.< “Let’s not go there. Heeey, there’s Havoc over by the autographed breast imprints display! Havoc!”

Havoc: “Hey, it’s everyone’s favourite uke! What can I do you for, Chaos—and if you happen to be in female Haley mode, what can I do to you?”

Chaos: “No Haley, Havoc. Look, I’m trying desperately to get a fantastic present for Hotaru by tonight. It’s our one-year anniversary, and instead of some great Jinnai & The Bugrom Live tickets, I wound up with SMAP. I need your help: is there anything you can arrange by tonight that will totally floor Hotaru?”

Havoc: “Hmm…thinking…(o.O;) Great Juri’s G-Spot!”

Chaos: [???] “Great Juri’s wha?”

Narrator: “Oh, I’m guessing only Shiori knows where that is.”

Chaos: [pointing at the narrator] “You stay out of this!”

Havoc: “Chaos, I have the perfect plan for you and Hotaru. Now, if you want to show off your intellectual side—“

Chaos: “Ooooh, I bet that’s the side my butt’s on. Cute butts automatically denote intelligence.”

Havoc: “Work with me here, Chaos: we’re not sending Hotaru an 8x10 glossy of your butt. The Pervharmonic Symphony Orchestra is playing tonight, and as it just so happens I’m their guest conductor. I can get tickets for you and Hotaru to attend, no problem.”

Chaos: “Havoc, you’re a lifesaver. I’ll take whatever you can get.”

Havoc: “Now then, I need to check first: would you like front or second row seats?”

Chaos: o.O; “F-Front row…?”

Havoc: “No? Gee, picky otaku you are. Okay, I can probably wrangle you two a private box up by the front. Sound good?”

Chaos: o.O;; “……”

Narrator: “Should Chaos: A) accept Havoc’s offer of box seats to the symphony, or; B) respectfully decline, given how it may prove too ecchi for either him or Hotaru?”

          A) ACCEPT
          B) DECLINE