SCENE #078: Resident Baka (just plain strange ending #1)

Chaos: “Left it is! Now then, that disaster averted, it’s time for me to get back to finding Hotaru’s present!”

Narrator: “However, the fic had other plans for Chaos. Sometime later that evening, the phone in Haruka and Michiru’s house began to ring.”

Hotaru: “I’ll get that, Haruka-poppa! Moshi moshi?”

Chaos: “Hotaru-chan, thank goodness it’s you! Look, I hate to do this, but I’m afraid we’ll have to cancel tonight.”

Hotaru: “Wh-What? Why?”

Chaos: ^^;; “Um…because I somehow took the wrong subway car, and then there was this attack by viking Puchuu bears. And of course one thing led to another, and I wound up in some place called Raccoon City.”

Hotaru: [not sure what to think] “Are you all right?”

Chaos: “More or less. But it’s going to take me a while to get back to Tokyo; I won’t be able to do it tonight, that’s for sure. I mean, the whole town looks like Carnage hit it with a Dragu Slave, there’s zombies running around the streets eating people, and some giant undead fiend standing outside the phone booth is giving me this really dirty look. Personally, I want to lodge a complaint with the city’s publicist. ‘Nicest place on earth’, my shotgun-toting ass!”

Nemesis: “STARS.”

Chaos: “Hey, look here, Lurch, you can use the payphone when I’m done, okay?! Oh, don’t point that at me. I am NOT seeing you point that rocket launcher at me! Ne, Hotaru, could I call you back in a few?”

Hotaru: [stunned] “B-But Chaos-chan! Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

Chaos: “Oh, I’ll be fine once I figure out where those last two stones on the clocktower are hidden, so I can finally open up that secret ladder and get into the sewer level, where that stupid access card for the 2nd floor private office is probably stashed.”

Hotaru: “What?”

Nemesis: “STARS.”

Chaos: “Hotaru? It looks like this Nemesis guy’s going to lob a police cruiser into the phone booth now, so I’m going to have to hang up. Talk to you soon! Ja.”

Narrator: “And this is as good an ending as we’re gonna get at this rate, folks. Good night!”


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