Mulder sipped his coffee as he paced back and forth on the sidewalk outside the hotel. "We've ruled out terrorists, we've ruled out accidents, and we've ruled out natural causes. "What's left?" He looked around at the dark city, still wide awake as the jet lag took its toll. Scully had had almost no trouble adjusting to the time change and was undoubtably snoring away upstairs.
          "I know what I saw," he muttered, "But how do giant energy dragons connect with exploding buildings?" He looked around again, expecting to see another block dissolve into dust before his eyes. "I need to find someone who can tell me what this is all about. Trouble is, clues like that just don't walk up and say hi. . . ."
          Finishing his coffee, he tossed his cup and idly leaned back against a lamppost.
          And was immediately squashed beneath Kamui and Sorata as the two Dragons of Heaven lost their balance on the post overhead.

Mulder: @.@ "I'm switching to decaf, I swear . . . "

Sorata: >.< "Nice one, gaijin. Can't you watch where you throw yourself?"

          Mulder scrambled to his feet and stared at the Dragons of Heaven. "Let me guess: You're my clue that walks up and says hi."
          Kamui shrugged, dusting himself off. "In a manner of speaking." Behind him, Arashi, Yuzuriha, and Karen appeared. "You are Mulder Fox, correct?"
          He looked at them. "Yes. And you are?"
          Arashi lifted her eyebrows. "Your new partners."
          Fox Mulder's world was abruptly bullet-timed, his view whirling a hundred and eighty degrees and setting him lightly on top of the lamppost he had been standing under. Across the road from him, on other posts, the five remaining Seals confronted him.
          "This is indeed the End of the World, Mulder-san. But it can be stopped. We need just you."

          Dana Scully, FBI agent, had seen many things in her years of working the X-Files. Some had shocked her. Others she had simply brushed off as a consequence of her job. But this was something her brain just could not classify.
          Her partner had just leapt three stories straight up to land on the roof of a nearby building. His glare was directed down the street at a nearby man, one who looked like a civil servant in a white trenchcoat.
          "Scully, get out of here," Mulder snapped, loosening his tie. "You're not safe!"
          She boggled at him from the sidewalk. "What on Earth?"
          "Earth . . . " he replied, " . . . is what's at stake here, Scully. And I've learned that there's nothing you can do about it."
          By this time, their opponent had stopped, glancing briefly at her, then up to where Mulder crouched. "So . . . you are a Dragon of Heaven. How fortunate. And what is she?"
          "None of your concern."
          Scully shot a glare up at him. "I'm Agent Dana Scully, FBI. What's your business with us?"
          Ignoring her, he removed his trench coat. "My name is Kigai Yuuto. But you . . . I do not recognize. Your name?"
          "Mulder Kitsune. And you are a Dragon of Earth."

[Off-set, the Dragons of Heaven and Earth collectively facefault.]

Kamui: [eyebrow twitch] "Mulder Kitsune? Should we kill him or kill Chaos?"

Sorata: "Save it until after the cheques clear."

Kamui: -.-; "Oh, all right."

          Ribbons of red tape abruptly shot from Mulder's sleeves, whipping around Yuuto's arms and trying to bind him. The Dragon of Earth pulled back, his ki-whip snaring the tape and pulling it tight.
          Yuuto smiled, jokingly tugging on the ribbons. "What a shame. I have nothing to cut through the red tape with. Ah, well. As long as I don't have to fill out those horrible forms you Americans love so much."
          With a tearing, the tape parted and curled back into Mulder's sleeves. "Well, I suppose we really should get down to the serious business, now that we've said hello."
          "If you insist." Yuuto shrugged, folding up his coat and turning to Scully. "Here. Please keep this safe and I'll make sure to tip you when we're done."
          Bewildered, Scully accepted it and watched as Mulder drew his gun . . . and tossed it aside. "MULDER!!!"
          He looked down. "Short version, Scully. They want to destroy the world."
          "Recreate it," amended Yuuto. "Humanity has poisoned this earth and we wish to renew it."
          Mulder shrugged, glaring at the Dragon of Earth. "Those collapsing buildings we saw were the results of previous fights to destroy the barriers in Tokyo, weren't they?"
          He nodded. "It's what happens when a Dragon of Heaven is killed. Now, shall we? I'm sure that you know the seal you're standing on right now, being the bright law enforcement officer that you are." Yuuto looked over at her. "He's your partner, I understand, but he's no longer the man you knew. I have to ask you not to interfere. The fate of this world was destined to be decided by us. No one else."
          Mulder stepped to the edge of the building and flicked his hand to send a slash of red tape down to his opponent, who grasped it and let himself be pulled up to the rooftop. "Scully, if you stay . . . if I lose . . . everything inside the seal will be destroyed. Get out of here."
          She shook her head and drew her own gun. "This is insane, Mulder. Come on down and we can report to the government that there's a doomsday cult in Japan that's responsible for those explosions. This . . . fate of the world thing doesn't make sense!"
          Both Yuuto's glowing whip and Mulder's tape twined themselves around the barrel of her Baretta, ripping it out of her hands.
          The two Dragons glared down at her. "Go or stay, your choice," Yuuto told her, "But do not interfere in matters beyond you."
          Stunned, she stepped back and watched as her former partner slammed his palms together, closing his eyes. A beam of green light shot from his body straight up into the clouds, then began spreading out, forming the shape of an enormous badge. The barrier stretched out longer, wider, then crept down to meet the ground and turned solid, shifting everything inside it into another dimension.
          Yuuto smiled and bowed his head. "Not bad for your first time. Now, let's see what they taught you in America."
          "Not as much as I've learned here in the last twenty hours," Mulder replied, whipping off his own jacket and letting the rising wind take it. "Let's go."
          "HOLD IT!"
          Everyone's head whipped around as a fourth figure stalked out onto the roof.

Pandemonium: [wobbita wobbita wobbita!] "All right, you two! You're under arrest for disturbing the peace, demolishing city blocks without a license, attempting to bring about the End of the World without a letter . . . . That's grounds for a cavity search! Naughty tentacles of justice, deploy!!"

Mulder & Yuuto: O.o;; "Erk!"

         [This ficfeed has abruptly been terminated due to cavity searches. Please stand by.]


          Ruckus pouted and snapped his fingers as he turned away from the monitors. "Shimatta! Pan-chan beat me to that foxy Mulder boy!"
          Aburatsubo sighed and conjured up another bottle of burn cream for Takeo. "Ah, well. Easy come, easy go." He flexed his fingers as he smiled indulgently at the mummfied Takeo sitting in the booth beside him. "Now, let's get you all oiled up...."

Takeo-kun: O.o "TASUKETE!!!!!"

          Misato blinked a few seconds later as the tightly-wrapped Magic Club President hopped past her, trailing bandages and being hotly pursued by his amorous Vice-President.

Takeo-kun: "Not now, Ayanojou-kun! I'm all tied up at the moment!"

Aburatsubo: ^^ "Awwww, I so wanted to unwrap you!"

          As the two of them bounded past the video game consoles, Nuriko idly stuck a foot out and stomped down hard on a loose bandage, sending Takeo spinning dizzily off through the tables to ricochet off various surfaces. "Keep it down, you two! I'm trying to concentrate here!"
          Hanigata reached over to smooth the purple hair on the nape of his neck. "Calm down, Nuriko-san." He handed the controller back to him. "Now, come on. We're close to beating Priss and Sylia!"
          Beside them, frantically stabbing at buttons, the two Knight Sabres were doing their best to catch themselves naked in Havoc's Bubblegum Snap game.
          "Dammit, how can you be so cautious in this game, Priss?" Sylia growled as she tried to maneuver her camera lens around. "You always keep your towel on like that?"
          "What, you think I helped design this?"
          As the two of them bickered, the giant TV screen flashed "GAME OVER." Hanigata & Nuriko high-fived each other, grinning.

Nuriko: "Next pair!"

Hanigata: "Who else wants to challenge us for the naked Knight Saber championships?"

Naru Narusegawa & Konno Mitsune: ^^v "Hai!"

Motoko Aoyama: [caressing her katana] "You just stay on this side of the television, Keitaro."

Keitaro: o.o;;; "Eep. . . . Ummm, oh look! A Chaosfic!"

          The loudspeaker sputtered to life. "Would the Original Sailor Senshi, North American Scouts, Zodiac Senshi, Satellite Senshi, Asteroid Senshi, Sailor Starlights, Sailor Vegetables, and all Sailor Moon Villains please report to the Studio and soundstages # 0 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . 1 and 0 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . 2. Fuku wear is required for all. Except for Jadeite, Beryl and the Wise Man. Bad mental image there. That is all."

FIC #7: CLASSIFIED PLACE: STUDIO ANIPIKE, STAGES #0211, #0212. TIME: 1615 HOURS COMMENTS: 60 Seconds that will last a lifetime. . . .

          The Senshidex chimed softly. "Sailor Mars, Hino Rei. Japanese Original Senshi. Known for punishing villains while in high heels."
          Blushing, Rei took her coded script from the stack on the table. "All this security can't be necessary, Akito-chan."
          Carnage shrugged, leaning out from behind the Galaxy Gun pointing at the soundstage door. "Chaos is adamant that only the sixty Senshi required come on set. He doesn't want the hassle of groupies disturbing the shoot. Next!"
          JunJun sweatdropped as she stepped in. "Sailor Juno, reporting."
          "Invitation, please?" Carnage studied her letter, checking the counterfeit-proof seal at the top. "Excellent. If you'd just step over to the script table, we'll check you out."
          Turning, JunJun's sweatdrop doubled in size. "There's a hamster sitting at that table."

Ebichu: "That's Stage-Managing Hamster to you, dechu! Hold still, dechu!"

Senshidex: *bing* "Sailor Juno. JunJun. Manga Asteroid Senshi. Recently in the care of one Dark Day For Anime."

JunJun: -.-; "And out on a day pass, thank you very much!"

          As the stream of Senshi continued, Director Chaos tried to see to the rest of his cast, namely the Senshi villains. "Everyone have their driving licenses? Scripts? Props?"
          PallaPalla dropped an oversized marble onto his head. "Oh, give it a rest!" she exclaimed.

Director Chaos: -.-; "I love you too, Yarf-chan."

PallaPalla: "WHAT WAS THAT?"

          Before she could summon her pool cue and break it over Chaos' head, another loud explosion rocked the soundstage, coming from the front entrance.

Chaos: "Who tried to sneak into the set, Carnage?"

Carnage: "A Totoro."

Chaos: [sweatdrop!] "You...used the Galaxy Gun on a Totoro, one of the most harmless creatures on Ghibli's green earth?"

Carnage: [shrug!] "He smiled at me funny."

         [Cue all the FanSenshi pouncing on Carnage!]

Fansenshi: ^-^ "Gorgeous!"

Carnage: O.o;; "ACK! Damn Tenchi Masaki Syndrooomee..."

Director Chaos: "Oooookay. Let's start getting ready for the opening scenes, everyone! We've only got a couple of hours to get this right!"

         [Cue Ebichu, the Stage Managing Hamster, rushing onto the set!]

Ebichu: "Emergency, dechu! Emergency, dechu! Sailor Charon forgot her tampon, dechu!"

Senshi & Crew: O.o;;

Sailor Charon: -.-;; "Excuse me for one second. . . ."

Ebichu: o.O; "Ebichu's going to get the bejeezus beaten out of her, dechu!"


          Jadeite sighed heavily as he stepped into the office. "All right, Galaxia. What do you want me to do?"
          The Senshi above all looked up from the desk she was examining. "The same thing your Queen was doing before she messed up." She flicked a piece of paper at him. "Sixty of them. By 8 a.m. on Friday."
          Jadeite scanned the list. "Animates . . . Asteroids . . . N.A.s . . . Originals . . . Satellites . . . this is some list. You want all these in four days?"
          Galaxia shrugged and leaned back in her chair, folding her hands in her lap. "I would prefer their starseeds, but I doubt you have that kind of power. Just bring them to me, and I'll concern myself with the rest. I *know* you can do that, unlike Beryl."
          "Where is she?"
          "For now, she's safe, Jadeite. But if my packages aren't ready by Friday morning, she won't be a Beryl as much as she'll be a Crystal. Frozen and stiff."
          He opened his fingers and let the list slide back onto the desk. "If this is about the fee you paid her, I can raise the money . . . we can forget all of this."
          She raised an eyebrow. "This isn't about *money*. This is about Senshi. I was promised sixty. I have ZERO right now. Fix it by Friday, Jadeite. Or you sacrifice your Queen." Getting up, she took the paper and stuffed it in his jacket pocket. "Better get to work."

*         *         *

          The Wiseman chortled evilly, peering into his crystal ball. "Well, you're certainly going to need help with this. You were good, Jadeite, but you can't begin to match the kinds of Senshi that are out there today. New tricks, powers . . . . you can't do it all by yourself."
          Jadeite nodded and leaned against the doorframe. "That's why I came to you. Who was it that kidnapped the pink haired harbringer of doom all those years ago? You still know who's who in this town, Wise Man. I've got less than a week to pull this off, too. Think we can get enough people together?"
          A phone book was tossed to him. A phone followed a few seconds later.

*         *         *

          Jadeite sighed and hung up the phone again. "Wonderful. The rest of the Generals are dead, the Black Moon family is dead, and getting a daimon, youma, or cardiatron to even *think* for themselves is out of the question." He crossed Rubeus off his list.
          Wiseman merely shrugged and watched the energy roll through his crystal. "Pharoah 90 is gone, I'm afraid. Nehelenia is sealed far away. And the Doom Tree refuses to co-operate any longer. Evil is harder to find these days, General." He paused suddenly. "However . . . I think we've just added three helpers. They're on the other side and can be here by tomorrow."
          Slamming his phone down in frustration, Jadeite groaned again. "Oh, good. Because I *just* realized that the Animates, Amazoness Quartet, and Starlights are all on my list. We can't recruit them. We have to kidnap them instead."
          The Wiseman facefaulted.

*         *         *

          HawkEye spun the chair around and straddled it. "It's good being back on the other side again, Jade. What's the job?"
          The former general shrugged and laid out Galaxia's plan. "We've got four days to grab sixty of the girls. This'll have to be scouted very well, and that's what you guys are good at. You get the photos from the names that she's sent, and we'll get to work."
          The Wiseman looked up suddenly, the crystal ball sparking. "We've got company."
          The door to the inner office burst open, six women striding into the room. Queen Beryl stopped and slapped her palms down on the desk, staring at the five men on the other side. Behind her fanned out a quintet of Death Busters, all very bright-eyed.
          "Jadeite . . . " Beryl began, " . . . thank you for getting me out of that jam. But you can't possibly do this on your own. So we're here to help."
          The Wiseman nodded. "You do need her."
          Jadeite scowled. "No, we don't. It's her life on the line. As far as she's concerned, her days of Senshi-snatching are over."
          "You want to save her, Jadeite, but the only way you can assure that is to put her right back in danger again. The four of you cannot do this with what you've got."
          His scowl deepened. ". . . If I do let you come on this job, Beryl, it's going to be your last one and you'll retire when it's done, right?"
          She glared right back at him. "Nice to remember who's in charge of whom here, Jadeite."
          "I mean it. I came out of retirement from a block of ice to save you, boss. I'm leaving after this, too. You're coming with me."
          Beryl sighed deeply. "Okay, you're right . . . Get me out of this, and I'll go get a nice little castle in the country."
          HawkEye sat back and glanced at the women behind the first Queen. "So, what about you girls? What sort of things can you do?"
          She stepped back and indicated the rest of her crew. "Tellu's a whiz with plants and can snag a Senshi at fifty paces. Cyprine and Ptilol's staves have been used to battle the Sailor Soldiers before and Viluy's our computer expert."
          FishEye glanced over at the last of them, a frizzy blonde with large glasses. "And you?"
          "Mimete's a rabid idol otaku who can sniff out the Sailor Starlights for you when no one else can."
          The girl blushed deeply. "It's a gift."

Director Chaos: ^-^ "And . . . CUT! I'm loving this! I'm loving this!"

Dark Mayhem: "You're loving a crossover that not only mocks a vintage movie, but its 90's remake and one of the most well known Japanese animations ever created?"

Chaos: ^-^v "Hai! And this is a much better idea than that My Little Pony/Puni Puni Poemi crossover I'd had: My Little Poemi."

Dark Mayhem: [argh!] "If you tell me you've turned the Bushwullies into Puchuu bears, I will personally hand you over to Naoko."

         [This ficfeed has abruptly been terminated due to ranting director. Please stand by.]


          As the televisions overhead faded to bars once more, the dice rolled.
          GENOM president Quincy daintily trundled his little wheelbarrow along the Monopoly board. "Eight . . . nine . . . ten!" His eyebrow twitched as he noticed where he had landed.
          "That will be 12,000 yen," his opponent chuckled, holding his hand out.
          Muttering darkly, Quincy slapped the pile of bills down and picked up the dice again. "Doubles. I'm trying again." He rolled, moved, then gawked. "Oh, no . . . ."
          "20,000 yen."
          Burying his head in his hands, Quincy whimpered in resignation. "I have nothing left, you idiot! You've got it ALL! How can one person be so damn lucky?"
          Captain Taylor folded his last rent payment away into his hat. "It is better to be lucky than good, sir. Having said that, I wish you better luck next time."
          An Anipike waitress strolled past just then. "Now, who ordered the Shamrock Salad and the Mad Dog 20/20?"

Captain Taylor: ^^v "Yo!"

          [Meanwhile, at the next booth over . . . ]

Desolation: ^-^ "H-4!"

Gaghiel: *headshake*

Desolation: --; "All right. Your turn."

Gaghiel: "ROAR!!!!"


Desolation: o.O "Hey! You bellyflopped my battleship!"

          Heaving a heavy sigh, the Lost Fanboy turned his attention to the screen in the booth, which had just flickered back to life.


          Beryl rustled around behind the bar, trying her best to remember how to make a Manhattan while the Death Busters and Amazon Trio started prepping.
          The chalkboard beside the dart boards was wiped clean and wheeled over to the bartop where the Trio were sorting out their stacks of photographs. Jadeite spaced out sections for all the types and styles of Senshi, writing in their names and planetary orientation and sticking their photographs beside their designations. The Wiseman was doing his best to track their movements in his ball, trying to discover patterns where they could be expected to show up at given times. And the five Death Busters were tuning their vehicles and kits.
          Adding Sailor Bianca to the board, Jadeite glanced back at his crew. "I'm going to warn you all now . . . tangling with a Satellite or Zodiac Senshi is very different from the regulars. They may look the same, but their attacks are usually more powerful and those Magical Girl transformations are usually shorter. The good news is, they're used to tangling with Monsters of the Day and don't travel in packs as much as Inner or Outer Senshi."
          Cyprine looked up from under the hood of hers and Ptilol's Toyota van. "What about the Animates and Asteroids, Jadeite-san?"
          He glanced over at TigerEye. "How about them, TigerEye? You know the Asteroids well enough."
          The golden-haired performer took his Grasshopper from Beryl and spun around on his stool. "Doesn't matter when you pick them up, but just don't piss them off. The last thing you want to have to deal with is an angry Asteroid Senshi. Knock them out, grab their starseeds or dream mirrors, drain their energy, do whatever you have to."
          Ptilol extended her staff and twirled it. "How about we knock their pure hearts out, instead? That usually slows them down."
          FishEye looked thoughtful, even as he downed the dregs of his Shirley Temple and slid his glass down the bar for another. "I don't know if those girls have pure hearts."
          HawkEye frowned at that. "How can you be a Senshi and not have a pure heart? That would never be allowed." Looking over at FishEye as Beryl gave him his second drink, he snorted. "She's dead, you know."
          FishEye sighed and sipped it elegantly. "I know, I know. . . I just wish there was a drink named after Judy Garland."
          TigerEye snorted. "Tellu, you and Jadeite can ride with him tomorrow night."
          With a pout, FishEye shoved TigerEye off his barstool.
          Jadeite turned around from the board again, circling the first nine names. "Listen carefully, people. There's no Chibis on this list. The first eighteen are the same nine girls, just with different names. Watch out for the Outers in both cases, though. World Shakings and Dead Screams aren't fun. Bring a towel tomorrow night, just in case you get Deep Submerged.
          "We're going to save the Starlights until last, if possible, unless we get a good tip on them and can grab all three at once. Asteroids and Animates will be tricky, I'm afraid. Animates can vanish at a moment's notice. We'll duct tape as many phone booths shut as we can but that's about it.
          "As for the FanSenshi, I can't tell you much more about the Zodiacs or Satellites other than what I have already. They'll probably do more than kick and scream, but do your best to not seriously hurt them. The other three girls won't be hard, but might require a bit of handling. Review your packages tonight." He looked around the room. "You girls will be all ready to go by tomorrow?"
          The five Death Busters nodded.
          "Any other questions?"
          "Anything changes, let the Wiseman know. We start when school lets out tomorrow afternoon. Be here by noon for final checks. That's all."

*         *         *

          Jadeite handed everyone their lists and sat back on the hood of his car. "Here we go, everybody. This is it. The best suggestions I can make right now is to keep circling the schools shown on your maps. Most of the girls will be coming out of classes in the next few hours. Those that stay for club activities or detentions, we'll have to wait for. Any of *those* that we miss, we'll have to grab at home, work, or out on the street." He pointed to Tellu and FishEye. "You two are with me. Beryl, you ride with TigerEye and Viluy. HawkEye, you go with Cyprine and Ptilol. Mimete, stay here with the Wiseman and keep us all updated. If she calls in with the Starlights, whoever's closest should drop their current target and go after them instead."
          He pointed to a star on the map. "This is the dropoff point. There, Galaxia and her people will take the Senshi for us. Make sure you report all captures to the rest of us so we can cross them off."
          Jadeite looked around at his crew. "It's 2 million yen and Beryl's life on the line. Move fast, hit hard, and be careful. Let's go."
          The nine villains piled into their cars as Mimete raised the door for them. Then Jadeite lifted a hand as he leaned out the window. "Crank your Abduction albums everyone!" His other hand simultaneously jammed a tape into his player, and the rocking banjo strains of "Ultra Relax" boomed out from his system.

Jadeite, FishEye & Tellu: ^-^ [singing along!] "Kyou mo ashita mo himakkusu . . . gokazoku yonin de goippaku . . . ejiputo kidori de suphinkusu. . . .!"

          HawkEye snorted and watched them as they peeled out, leaving treadmarks behind. "I hope you girls have got someting to match that."
          The twins looked at him and grinned, giving V-signs. They slid a CD into their player and buckled up. Then the Gundam Wing Op theme started up as Ptilol gave it the gas.

Cyprine, Ptilol & HawkEye: ^^ [wheeeee!] "Just wild beat communication Ame ni futarenagara Iro asenai atsui omoi Karada juu de tsutaetai yo TONIGHT!"

          As their car roared out of the Dead Moon Circus, Viluy gunned her engine and reached for a keypad. Typing in a set of instructions, she cranked her volume knob up and grinned at her passengers. "Mind your ears. . . ."
          The beat thrummed through the air and the three began singing.

Beryl, Viluy & TigerEye: ^^v [Mokona Marching Song!] "PuuPu! Utaou koe awasetene . . . PuuPu. . . Genki ippai! PuuPu! Odorou kurukuru mararou. . . PuuPu. . . Mokona Ondo da!"

Mokona: ^-^ [bounding onto the set and Puuu!ing along!] "PuuPuuPuu! PuuPuuPuu!"

Director Chaos: O.o;; "What the--? WOULD SOMEONE GET THIS MARSHMALLOW OFF MY SET???"

         [This ficfeed has abruptly been terminated due to Marshmallows and no S'mores. Please stand by.]

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