*         *         *

CLUB ANIPIKE 2254 HOURS

          As the Senshi raced through the Studio, another race was going on outside in the back lot. A chariot race, to be exact.

Red Queen Kasumi: [whipping her cards!] "Faster! Faster, or there'll be no punishment!"

Wonderland Cards: ^-^ "Hai, Jo'o-sama!"

          The Cards pulled harder as they fought to pass the other anime villains' chariots.

Mark "DDFA" Page: [whipcrack!] "Mush! Mush, my little Kawaii Sailor Senshi PuuPuuPuu! More speed, or I'll feed you to Succubus Minako!"

Mokona: [in fuku & odango wig] o.O "PuuuuPuuuuu!"

Naga: "WHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! They're gaining on us, ladies! Pull harder!"

Naga-clones: [must go faster!] "WHOOHOHOHOHOHO!!"

Gendo: -.-; "If only my Mass Production EVAs could do that."

Chibi-Mass Production EVAs: [with signs] *We Can't Talk, Asshole!*

Faye Valentine: [on top of the NekoBus!] "There's a large sack of cash for the winner, so let's not waste time here!"

Giant Totoros: :D ". . . . . . . . "

         [Cue Havoc's phallic chariot, being pulled by the giant breasts from the ValentineFic!!]

Havoc: ^-^ [snapping a brassiere!] "Hotcha! Onward, perv! Nubile pitstop girls ahead!"

Zelgadis: [in the pitstop with Rezo] "Havoc's causing a stir. The crowd's certainly energized by him. Look, they're doing the Wave as he's going by the stands!"

Rezo: "That's not the Wave. Everyone's feeling the draft from him stealing the womens' panties as he goes by the stands."

Zelgadis: "Ah. Come to think of it, how can you know what's going On if you're blind?"

Rezo: "Would you rather I opened my eyes and unleash Shabranigdo instead?"

Zelgadis: "And let him destroy the Naga clones, DDFA, Mokona, Gendo, Havoc and Red Queen Kasumi? Say, that's not a bad idea."

          Just then, the Akiocar squealed onto the racetrack and roared between Mark Page's chariot and Red Queen Kasumi's.
          Lounging on the hood with his shirt open, Akio yawned and looked over at the Red Queen. "Hello there, dearest. Why not skip the rest of this horribly dull race and come with me to see the End of the World?"
          The Red Queen snorted and flicked her reins to encourage her subjects to run faster. "I'm sure five minutes of anything you could think up would be the End of the World!"
          With that, she angled her chariot and rammed the Akiocar, sending it swerving into Mokona, who bounded under the feet of the twelve cackling Naga clones.

Naga clones: [pinwheeling everywhere!] "WOOHOHOHO!"

          The Mass Production Chibi-EVAs vainly tried to leap the pile before them, but tripped over a pair of steel reinforced bosoms, adding to the rolling tangle.

Havoc: o.O; "Whoah, girls! Whoah!"

          Too late, the Hentenno tried to pull his giant breasts to a halt to avoid the carnage, but everything ended up bouncing right off the jiggling cleavage, soaring upwards and vanishing into the evening sky.

         [Elsewhere in the Studio Lot . . . . ]

NinNin: [chasing after the Dirty Pair!] "Oh, come on! Just a little bit of fanservice? I deserve some fanservice, dammit! Why won't you give me fanservice!"

Yuri: [lobbing a Bloody Card at him!] "Get AWAY, you useless, perverted, purple ninja! What part of "Keep away from my legs!" do you not understand?"

Kei: -.-; "And the next time you grope me, I'll fill you so full of laser beams, we could market you as a new lighting system for the dance nights!"

Charon: [hopeful] "Would you? Really?"

NinNin: "You stay outta this, Tako-boy!"

          NinNin sighed heavily as he skidded to a reluctant stop and kicked Charon's ankle. "You go and bring me their underwear, understudy! I desire their lacy underthings and you will provide them for me! Whatever peril you will face won't be my fault!"

Charon: [sigh!] "Oh, thank you. I'll be sure to include that on my list of perverted things to be grateful for this week."

          The purple ninja watched as Charon ran off in pursuit of both Kei and Yuri, sulking. "Just once, I'd like to get a loving eyeful of breast, thigh, or hip. I mean, it's not like fanservice just comes raining down from the sky, is it?"
          Seconds later, he was clobbered by a rain of cackling Naga clones falling from the sky.

Charon: ^^ [jogging back with his arms full of bras & panties!] "Check it out! When they saw it was me, the Lovely Angels couldn't whip their clothes off fast enough! Whoohoo! Um. . . NinNin? Where are you?"

          Gasping, the purple ninja clawed his way out to the top of the pile of legs, bosoms, and cackles, standing triumphantly on the final clone's rear end.

NinNin: ^^v "And NinNin emerges with his dignity intact!"

          And that's when the Akiocar, with the Kawaii Sailor Senshi PuPuPu at the wheel, and the whole host of Mass Production chibi-EVAs in the backseat fell from the sky as well.

Mokona: [wig falling over his eyes!] "PUUUUUUU!"

EVAs: [with signs!] *KYYYYYAAAAAAA*

NinNin: o.O

         *CRUNCH*

SCENES FROM SAILOR STARLIGHT EXPRESS 2305 HOURS

          Mamoru glowered over at Seiya, who had Rei snuggled into his back. "Any advice for me, Galaxia-sama?"
          The eldest member of the Moon Kingdom Train Yards frowned as well, but at Nehelectra and her various cars. "Those fancy engines may run on the souls of the Mirror Kingdom instead of the Silver Crystal, but there's one thing we old engines will always have over them. The power of the Starlight Express, given to those engines who have served the Moon Kingdom well and truly. I've only heard about it myself, but our future is at stake tonight. Pay attention out there, Chiba-kun. You just could hear the call."
          "Hey, Chiba! Kick yourself in the ass and roll over here! We're all waiting for you!"
          Galaxia rolled her eyes and switched her unhappy gaze to Seiya, Taiki, Yaten, and Nehelectra already at the starting line. "Listen, that crash earlier was planned by Seiya and Nehelectra. Vesta was the reason you collided with FishEye and Hotaru and why they've allowed five trains in the finals. The Amazons are now on our side after a trick like that. Now, go and race with Usagi-chan and show them what the old Moon Kingdom is capable of."
          He nodded and beckoned to Usagi behind him, the blonde rolling up and grabbing onto his loops. "Hai, Galaxia-sama."
          Nyan-Nyan raised her flag. "Final Race! Ready . . . RACE ON!"
          Nehelectra exploded out of the starting gate, Ceres clinging tightly to her as the Mirror Kingdom train's power crackled across the rails. Taiki and Yaten were close behind, followed by Mamoru and Seiya.
          The five trains flew around the corner of the yards, heading out into the maze of tracks and rapidly splitting away from one another.
          Makoto leaned down behind Taiki, her long legs helping push him. "Seiya's right behind us, boss!" She risked a glance back, flinging her ponytail out of her face. "Oh yeah. Right behind us. QUIT LOOKING UP MY SKIRT LIKE THAT, YOU HENTAI!" She lashed out with one leg, the wheels whirring past inches from Seiya's face.
          On another siderail, Nehelectra sparked furiously as Mamoru and Usagi tried to pull even with her and Vesta, sending out a bolt of power that shot into a nearby soundstage.

Kirika: [pouting] "Awww. . . Sean-sempai, you'll sleep with an aged Hotaru but not me?"

Director Sean Gaffeny: o.o; "What is with Killer Lady Harbringers of Destruction and me?"

Utena: "Feh, you don't interest me at all. Come, Anthy!"

Director Sean Gaffeny: ". . . Whatever. Okay, places everyone! We're going to have only one take to do this! Oooh, where's that bright light coming from--(o.O) Mommy."

         *ZORCH!!!*

          Seiya spotted Yaten across the tracks and patted Rei on her thigh. "Rei-chan, think you can toss off a Burning Mandela to our left?"
          The raven-haired coach frowned. "Why?"
          Seiya rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Because someone's barbecue pit went out!" He slapped her leg again. "Take out the competition!"
          Rei suddenly became flustered. "I can't do that!"
          Sighing, he raised a hand. "I have to do everything myself. STAR SERIOUS LASER!"
          Michelle flew over a stunned Yaten's head, her wheels striking sparks from the rails as she tumbled over and off the tracks.
          Horrified, Rei tried to brake. "Seiya! I've got to see if she's okay!"
          "Do it on your own, then!" he snapped, severing the links on his back and cutting her loose. "I'll find myself a coach that will win this race for me!" He swerved off on another siderail, leaving Rei to fly down a slope on her own, out of control.
          Mamoru dodged another shot from Nehelectra, then boggled as he saw Rei careening along the rails, heading for a sharp curve. "Usa-ko! We've got to help her!"
          Usagi patted his shoulder. "Hai, Mamo-chan!" Just then, Ceres reached over to grab one of her streaming ponytails. Usagi screeched and lunged back, giving Mamoru a hefty shove forward as she let go and tangled together with Nehelectra's weapons Senshi. "Go on, Mamo-chan! Save her and finish the race!"          He jumped tracks and tore down the hill after Rei just as the shriek of metal sounded behind him. "Rei-chan!" He wished it had never come this far. His responsibility had always been to the Moon Yards and even though he had always dreamed of racing, things had gone too fast for an engine like himself.
          Because he loved Rei, he would save her. And because Usagi loved them both every bit as much, she had sacrificed her glory to get him free.
          "Now would be a great time for Galaxia's Starlight Express," he hissed, rocketing through a herd of Rapidashes grazing along the rails.

Ash: O.o "What kind of Pokemon was that?"

Misty: "I've got it! Go, Psyduck!"

Psyduck: "Psy!"

          Ripping the Pokemon off his visor, Mamoru wound up and flung it through a nearby Gundam space battle. Then he noticed his armour was glowing, his speed faster than ever.
          [Chiba Mamoru,] ghosted a voice inside his head, [You doubted and have held back your true self for so long. You called for me and you have found me where I have always been. Inside you. You are the Starlight Express.]
          Rei looked back at him as she fought for control of her own wheels. "Mamo-chan!"
          [Save her . . . and our future.]
          Mamoru nodded and flew down the tracks, closing the distance between Rei and himself. Just before the raven haired car was about to go over the edge, he caught her loops and pulled her onto his rail. "Rei-chan, are you all right?"
          She nodded tightly, panting as she held onto him. "But. . . what about your dream of winning the race?"
          He patted her shoulder. "It's all right now, Rei-chan. I've learned who I am. And now, as the Starlight Express, I'll be able to take you with me wherever you want to go. For with you by my side, my new dream is .... to sing...."

         [Cue Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten standing behind Mamoru, all humming.]

Mamoru: ^-^          I'm a Starlight
                                        And I'm Okay!
                                        I'm a girl by night
                                        And a boy by day!

Starlights:          He's a Starlight
                                        And he's Okay!
                                        He's a girl by night
                                        And a boy by day!

Mamoru:                    I have long hair
                                        And spandex clothes
                                        I come from another world
                                        I'll become a singing idol
                                        And pick up high school girls!

Starlights                    He has long hair
                                        And spandex clothes
                                        He comes from another world
                                        He'll become a singing idol
                                        And pick up high school girls!

All:                              He's a Starlight
                                        And he's Okay!
                                        He's a girl by night
                                        And a boy by day! Director Chaos: o.O "No, no! Stop that! There'll be no singing in this fanfic!"

VesVes: " . . . I thought this was a musical."

Director Chaos: "Yes, but this isn't Quest for the Messiah's Holy Grail! That crossover comes later!"

         [This ficfeed has been abruptly terminated due to compulsive singing. Please stand by.]

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