Meanwhile, at the hotsprings, Makoto and a female Chaos carefully made their way to the water's edge. As it turned out, Havoc would certainly recognize Chaos in female guise and see the trap coming. However if there was Chaos plus another..."victim", the desire would be too great for Havoc to hold back.
So that left the matter of who got to take a bath with Chaos. Much to Chaos' unamusement there were no initial volunteers. However the plot had to get rolling somehow so the five girls drew straws. The one who took the shortest stick was declared the loser and had to join Chaos in the hotspring.
His lordship Chaos was unamused once again.
However by sheer chance (or evil conniving on the part of the author, whichever you want) Makoto drew the shortest straw and was charged with the duty of being bait for a female version of Havoc.
And there was much rejoicing among the other Senshi.
"I can't believe this," Chaos sighed, dipping his foot into the water. "I...I get to take a bath with my beloved queen goddess above all. In the nude!"
He sighed, going all Bambi-eyed as kawaii little fluttering hearts danced around his head. At the edge of the hotspring, warily staying away from the hot water, a Jusenkyo newt rolled its eyes.
Mako-chan ever so lovingly glared and displayed a clenched fist. "You so much as look at me while I'm naked in the pool, Duo, and I swear they will never be able to find your body."
Chaos gulped. "Um...sounds reasonable."
Mako-chan gestured to the water. "You go first."
"I don't see why you're making such a big deal about this," Chaos said, looking at his--er, her reflection. "I mean, we're both girls right now, Mako-chan. And besides, I'm better built to boot."
The Jusenkyo newt was plagued by a sweatdrop and produced a sign that said, "Baka."
"Shin'ne!!" Mako-chan exclaimed, uppercutting Chaos into the middle of the hotsprings.
Chaos flailed around in the water, coughing and sputtering. "Hey! What was that for?!"
"You know perfectly well what that was for!" Mako-chan retorted indignantly.
Chaos sighed. "Hai hai. Okay, I take it back; your breasts are nice than mine."
The Jusenkyo newt winced as Mako-chan lobbed a boulder at Chaos. "Baka baka!" the sign now read.
Chaos spat out more water as he surfaced. "I meant that as a compliment, Mako-chan! You are really cute!"
However Makoto was not really in a listening mood.
"Come on, Mako-chan, you have to get naked in the water or Havoc will only set his perverted sights on someone else in the resort."
Reluctantly Mako-chan reached for the folds of her towl and began to loosen it. "Don't peek," she stated coldly, making sure Chaos had his back turned.
Slowly, almost agonizingly too slow for Mako-philes everywhere, she let the towel lower down along her breasts. The Jusenkyo newt's eyes bugged out in getting quite the show. It held up a sign that read: "Hotcha!"
Suddenly two ominous notes sounded: `Da Dum.'
Chaos glanced around the hotspring. "You hear that?" He was promptly decked with a flying rock hurled by Makoto.
"I told you not to peek!" she exclaimed.
Mako-chan warily scanned the waters, covering herself up again. She took a step away from the edge of the hotspring. "There it is again."
`Da Dum, Da Dum.'
"You know," Chaos mused. "This sounds familiar somehow."
`DaDum DaDum Dumdumdumdumdumdumdum--'
Chaos' eyes bugged out. "Wait a minute! This is the Jaws theme song! There's something in the water!"
And then it struck! Chaos screamed as he, currently a she for those who've lost track of his current gender, was suddenly dragged beneath the water's surface as a bubbling froth of water rose up around him.
Back at the EVA, Pesti-chan recoiled. "Chaos!" he exclaimed, racing towards the hotspring.
"Duo!" Makoto exclaimed, leaping in after Chaos.
Pesti-chan dove in right behind her, and the Jusenkyo newt dropped into the hot water to become Mayhem once more. All three came up without Chaos, and both fanboys got a nekkid flash of Mako-chan. An indignant Mako-chan found her towel and wrapped it around herself again, but not after delivering a few choice rat-tails.
The hotspring grew deathly silent.
"Ohmigod!" Mayhem exclaimed. "They killed Chaos!"
"You bastards!" Pesti-chan shouted.
[Author's Note: Okay, so I did a South Park imitation. So smite me with a falling cow, why don't--THUD!!....Moo?]
Suddenly Chaos erupted from the hotsprings in a geyser of water, his bikini swimsuit now in tatters. He cannonballed right in front of the two fanboys and Mako-chan, coming up flailing and gasping for air.
"KYAAAAA!!! HAVOC'S IN THE WATER!!!!"
"You were wearing a swimsuit?" Mayhem asked.
Chaos nodded. "I smuggled this in with my towel. You think I'm dumb enough to go naked into a potential danger zone with Havoc around?"
"But evidently you're dumb enough to let Mako-chan go naked into that exact same zone," Pesti-chan said. "You realize, of course, Chaos, that the next few moments of this fanfic will become rather unpleasant for you."
"Chaos...!!" Makoto fumed. Seconds later Chaos was launched into the EVA, and proved just how resilient that armour was.
And then came the soft lady-like laughter.
Female Havoc slowly surfaced, a coy smile on her face. The frightening thing was: she looked very very pretty and seductive. Not a good combination of good looks and pervertedness, if you ask this author's opinion.
Havoc playfully stuck her tongue out at Chaos. "Boo!"
"She's all dressed up like a mermaid or a water nymph," Mayhem muttered to Pesti-chan. "
Pesti-chan took an aggressive stance. "We have to keep Havoc occupied until the Senshi arrive." He raised his hand over his head. "Summon the smiting of the falling cabbages!"
Unfortunately Havoc was right next to all of them, so Pesti-chan and Mayhem suffered the wrath of a hundred cabbages that fell from the sky for no apparent reason.
Makoto froze as Havoc wrapped an arm around her shoulder, sheltering them both from the cabbage rainfall with a large parasol. "Ah, such intimate weather always brings lovers closer together, ne, Mako-chan?"
Female Havoc neatly landed atop the rock median in the centre of the hotspring, chuckling. "That's Hentai-sama, Mako-chan. And I'll have you calling me that by the time the sun rises."
[Cue the Sailor Moon intervention theme!]
Havoc glanced around. "What the?"
Chaos put the Sailor Moon theme music CD on pause, hopping down to the hotsprings just as Pesti-chan and Mayhem dug themselves out of the pile o' cabbages.
"Pesti-chan," Mayhem coughed. "You really need to train more on your smiting techniques."
All three fanboys looked up on the EVA's shoulders as five silhouettes were revealed to be the Inner Senshi.
Sailor Moon did her usual pose and then pointed to Havoc. "The hotsprings are a time where we were suppose to enjoy each other's company, not worry about perverts like you! Agents of love and justice! Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon! In the name of the moon, I will punish you!"
Mayhem rolled his eyes. "Must they keep doing the same cliched spiel time and time again? Would it kill them to have at least some original dialogue?"
Havoc suddenly appeared behind Usagi, groping her. "Punish me, Usagi-chan! I've been such a naughty little girl!"
Chaos slapped his forehead. "I could swear we're on Hidden Camera or something."
Usagi shrieked at the groping, and subsequently every other Senshi as Havoc bounded around the Eva coping a feel from everyone.
"Ami-chan!" Mayhem exclaimed.
"Mako-chan!" Chaos and Pesti-chan exclaimed.
"That's it," Pesti-chan snarled. "Chaos, Zoantropy me. The pervert must pay!!"
Suddenly a red rose shot past Havoc.
[Cue the Tuxedo-Kamen-to-the-rescue violins!]
And there stood Mamoru, dressed up in his black tuxedo and white eyemask.
"Tuxedo Kamen-sama!" all the girls chorused.
"We might just be saved from this fanfic yet!" Chaos exclaimed, leaping for joy while waving a couple of little folding fans to cheer on their man in black.
"Hotpsrings are meant for times of refreshing and friendship," Tuxedo Kamen stated. "I will not forgive you for distrubing that peace, you perverted girl."
Seconds later Mamoru was literally stripped by Havoc of his tux, left wearing only his eye mask and tophat. The rather embarrassed Mamoru tried to cover himself with his tophat and discreetly left the resort.
"M-masaka," Rei whispered.
Pesti-chan shook his head. "No one is safe, Mayhem. No one."
Female Havoc cackled, bounding around the hotspring and EVA while brandishing her latest 'aquisition'. "OH-HOH-HOH-HOH-HOH-HOH...!!"
"Good lord, it's Kodachi all over again!" an SD Chaos exclaimed. "I'm having flashbacks!!"
"Stop her somebody, stop her!" Minako shrieked, diving out of the way as Havoc sprang past her. Yet while Minako made it to safety, her fuku did not.
Rei focused her powers. "Mars Flame Sniper!"
"Don't hit the EVA!" Pesti-chan exclaimed. "Chi-goki's already eaten the S2 Engine!"
The attack shot past Havoc, missing her completely. Chaos, on the other hand, was not so fortunate.
Chaos: "Arigato gozaimasu, Rei."
Mayhem: "Should we start chanting 'I'm a firestarter, twisted firestarter' now?"
Chaos: "Hush, Newt-boy!!"
Usagi: "Wah! Tasukete!!"
Pesti: "Mako-chan! Fear not, my love, for I shall save thee!"
Chaos: "You're Mako-chan?!"
Rei: "Havoc's outta control! We can't stop her!"
Rampage: "CHU CHU!!"
Chaos: "KYAAAAAAA!!! Where in the hell did you come from?! Get offa me, you damned Godzilla-thingy!!"
Ami: "What should we do?"
Fanboys: "Run away! Run away!"
[Cue the frantic "Run Away!!" scene!]
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