Up in the shadows of the rafters where the starry sky was being simulated, three very SD fanboys watched the unfolding scene. "BEANS?!" a frantic dancing SD Chaos squeaked. "What the hell is she doing here in our fanfics?!"
"My first guess would be because you were screwing around with the remote control of the gods to catch her lake god," Mayhem retorted.
"But what I don't get," Pesti-chan said. "is that Beans, Haruka and Michiru are all acting as if this was a normal sequence of events in her College Life fanfic series. Why is that happening?"
Mayhem nodded towards a little rabbit-spider thingy scuttling across the nearby rocks. "Does that answer your question? We've opened a portal with the College Life fanfic series before, and now the Yggdrasil bugs are starting to cause it to merge with ours."
Chaos groaned, shaking his head. "Shimatta! This fanfic infection is starting to get serious. As much as I would love to have that lake god of hers merge and become my mascot, if we don't fix Yggdrasil I won't even be able to try that!"
Pesti-chan glanced down at his wristwatch. "Ne, Chaos, where's Anarchy? You sent her teetering into the bathhouse about fifteen minutes ago, so what's taking her so long?"
As if on cue, in through the bathhouse doorway staggered a very red-cheeked Anarchy. With a rather obvious thumbs-up in their direction she proceeded to walk towards the tub resembling the natural hotspring. And she almost didn't make it when she walked right into some of the surrounding vegetation. Luckily, Anarchy slipped on the edge of the hotspring and toppled headlong into the water, where she burbled before sinking beneath the water.
"Is she alright?" Haruka asked, eyes somewhat wide at the spectacle.
Michiru checked her hair to make sure it was still all drawn up by her ears, and then reached over to retrieve the drowning Anarchy.
"Well well," she said, pulling Anarchy out of the water. "It appears someone was having a little too much fun before coming here to sober up."
"Arigato gozaimasu," Anarchy said, her head loosely swaying back and forth until it came to rest on Michiru's shoulder.
Beans' cheeks went as flushed as Anarchy's, though not out of drinking too much sake. Haruka's eyebrow developed a nasty twitch, while Michiru just laughed as Anarchy calmed down and stared out into space.
"Kawaii, isn't she?" Michiru remarked, bringing Anarchy to sit next to Haruka.
"H-hey!" Haruka protested. "Just what are you doing?"
Anarchy rested her head on Haruka's shoulder, giving a strange smile to Haruka. "Oh...komban wa!"
"Hai...komban wa," Haruka replied, shooting a dirty look with the intent on silencing Beans' snickering. It didn't work.
Anarchy's eyes slowly closed as she lapsed into sleep mode. However in the process her head also slid right off Haruka's shoulder and landed right in the middle of Haruka's lap. With a loud spluttering, and splashing water everywhere, Anarchy erupted from the bath to stand straight up, pivot and then fall backwards right into Haruka's lap again.
"Ne, Haruka," Anarchy remarked, staring up at Haruka. "Ya know you're pretty damned hot when you dress up like a guy!"
That did it.
Beans burst out laughing, and even Michiru couldn't help from loudly chuckling. "She may be kawaii," an unimpressed Haruka said. "But I still fail to see what is so funny."
Chaos and Pesti-chan slapped their foreheads.
"Go figure," Mayhem remarked. "This is a stunned reaction coming from Haruka, the one who's shamelessly flirted with the rest of the Senshi even when she first met them."
"As funny as this is to watch," Pesti-chan sighed. "I cannot help but shudder at the fact that the future of our fanfics rests in her absolutely smashed hands."
Chaos growled. "I can't believe this! That's it; I've had it! Saving a fanfic is the easy part; finding good help to run it, there's the problem."
"I note you're implying this fanfic was salvageable in the first place," Mayhem remarked.
"Hush, Newt-boy!" Chaos snapped, pulling out his henshin stick. "Fanboy Planet Power: Make Up!"
Pesti-chan shook his head. "Um...Chaos? Just what do you think you're doing?"
"What does it look like?" Chaos replied, shedding his sailor battle fuku and slinging a towel over his shoulders. "With any luck, Haruka, Michiru and Beans won't remember how I look in female form. I'll be in and out in five minutes and they won't know a thing!"
Chaos glanced over at the recently borrowed Cameraman Dan. "Just remember, if I find a tattoo, you freeze-frame it."
Cameraman Dan gave a thumbs-up.
Chaos gave a V-sign and then leaped down from the rafters, landing oh so gracefully in the middle of the plantlife surrounding the spring...headfirst.
Pesti-chan glanced over at Mayhem. "Ne, Mayhem, should we have told him what's about to happen?"
"And spoil the ensuing pandemonium? Come on, Pesti-chan!" Mayhem checked at how Cameraman Dan was focusing in on the scene. "Ne, Dan, pan it to the shadows on the left and then zoom!" Pesti-chan and Mayhem watched zooming process from their own remote camera. "Will you look at that," Mayhem whistled. "This entire bathhouse is crawling with Yggdrasil bugs."
"No wonder Chaos is going to suffer so much," Pesti-chan sighed, pulling out a bowl of snacks. "Popcorn?"
"Michiru, ya lucky babe!" Anarchy laughed. "How'd you manage to grab someone this sexy?"
Haruka groaned, knowing full well that Beans would never let her live this incident down. And Michiru was bound to make the playful poke here and there too. She was almost grateful when she heard someone approach...so long as they didn't give her and this drunken girl funny looks.
As it turned out, Anarchy was the least of Haruka's worries. "Komban wa!" female Chaos exclaimed, waving to Haruka and Michiru. Michiru, at least, gave a polite smile back. Haruka on the other hand was still having to deal with a still very hammered Anarchy.
Chaos glanced over at Beans and waved. Beans gave a polite wave back, exchanging a curious glance with Haruka. "This is sooo perfect," Chaos muttered with a diabolical grin. "Not even Beans recognises me like this! Now for the tattoos."
With a bow, Chaos exclaimed, "Beautiful night out tonight, ne?"
"Ah...yes it is," Haruka agreed, blinking in confused surprise. She squirmed as Anarchy tried to backstroke across the hotspring, narrowly taking out Haruka's face as she flopped around.
Chaos' eyebrow twitched. "Baka." Aloud to the other three girls he said, "My name's...um...Naoko Takeuchi! Mind if I join you?"
Michiru gestured to the steaming waters. "Just find a spot to your liking."
"Excuse me for this," Beans said, studying Chaos' face. "But have we met before somewhere?"
Chaos tried to mask the wave of terror that struck, grabbing hold of his sweatdrop and hiding it behind his back. "Um...no! Why you ask?"
Beans shook her head. "You just look so familiar somehow. I must be imagining things."
"Hai!" a relieved Chaos agreed cheerfully, taking a step forward. However his female form managed to stub a toe, and with the usual gracefulness of the one-legged swan Chaos shrieked and crashed into the water.
"Shimatta!" Chaos exclaimed, coughing and rising out from beneath the surface. "This just isn't my night!" Chaos gave an innocent look over at Beans, Haruka and Michiru. "Hm? Is something wrong?"
Beans had practically recoiled to the other side of the hotspring, while Haruka and Michiru were still seated in their same places but with eyes wide in utter shock. Chaos' smile slowly faded, and he looked down at himself. Super deformedness struck a second later.
"HOLY SHIT!! I'M A GUY AGAIN!!!!"
Mayhem: "Now that was unexpected! The bugs have altered Chaos' gender-switching Senshi transformation into a Ranma 1/2 gender-switching Jusenkyo water curse!"
Cameraman Dan: "And to think I almost decided against another cameo appearance in this series! Check how big Chaos' mouth gets when I rewind this scene in slow motion!"
Anarchy laughed, pointing at Chaos. "Ha ha! What the hell are you doing all naked in a women’s' bathhouse, Chaos? Are you that desperate for a date?"
Chaos sulked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Your one to talk about indecent behaviour, Anarchy. You've been draping yourself all over Haruka!" Abruptly he sprouted innocent kitty ears and a tail as he sensed a menacing presence behind him. Chaos turned around and saw Beans, now with a towel wrapped around herself, ominously looming over his tiny form.
"CHAOS!" Beans exclaimed. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE IN MY FANFIC AGAIN?!"
"You!" Haruka said, recognising Chaos. "Isn't he one of those freaky guys who came through that portal right after Winterfest?"
Michiru nodded. "It would appear you just can't keep a good fanboy down, Ruka-chan."
"This was supposed to be a relaxing vacation!" Beans exclaimed, summoning the powers of her lake god in an aquarium. "And now you show up like this, completely naked and pretending to be a girl, you pervert?! I have never been so insulted in my life!"
She lobbed a terrified octopus at Chaos. Chaos ducked the octopus, and laughed. "Ha! You missed!" he taunted, standing back up. He was immediately clocked in the face with another octopus.
"I had that first one miss on purpose," Beans retorted. "Shin'ne, Chaos!"
"Not before you declare that I deserve the lake god as my mascot more than you ever could!" Chaos snapped, lobbing a cow at her. Beans stepped aside as the stunned cow disappeared into the vegetation. She counter-attacked with an assault of terrified, flying octopi.
Michiru couldn't help but chuckle as she watched the spectacle. "Ara, she seems to be handling the situation rather well. But don't they make the cutest rivals, ne, Haruka?" She glanced over at Haruka, and chuckled even more than before.
"Would you quit that?!" Haruka exclaimed, splashing about as she tried to get a rather playful Anarchy off her back.
Anarchy laughed, waving her arm in the air. "Whee!! Carry me across the hotsprings, Ruka-chan!"
Mayhem: "Just think, fanfics from now Chaos will be able to watch the video footage of this and claim the reason was temporary insanity."
Pesti: [adjusting binoculars] "Hey, look! I can see tattoos on both Haruka and Michiru! One's on Michiru's shoulder blade, and the other is on Haruka's...wow! Um..."
Mayhem: "Yes, define 'wow'. The tattoo’s on her...?"
Pesti: "Um...it's on Haruka's breasts. Is it ever on her breast!"
Pesti: "I AM NOT A PERVERT!!"
Chaos: "Curse you, Beans! Did you use superglue on these octopi or what?!"
Beans: [lament!] "This was supposed to be a peaceful College Life fanfic tale. What did I do to deserve this?"
Mayhem: "That whole 'Revenge of the Plushie Dolls' rant with Ophelia comes to mind."
Beans: "Was I asking you, Newt-boy?"
Haruka: "Will you get off of me? Who is this girl anyways?"
Chaos: "My sister."
Haruka: [eyebrow twitch!] "You have a sister?"
Chaos: "Regrettably so."
Michiru: "I don't think I've laughed so much in my life."
Haruka: "The least you could do here is give me a little help, Michiru."
Anarchy: "Wheee! Go go!"
Michiru: "Aw, but you look so cute baby-sitting her, Ruka-chan."
Chaos: "Does anything ever faze that woman?"
Pesti: "This is rather strange. I feel as if we've reached the end of F5! part II and yet we haven't gotten nekkid flashes of all the Senshi!"
Chaos: "NA NI?! The Yggdrasil bugs must be multiplying too fast and we've run out of time! KYAAAAAAA!!!!! TASUKETEEEEE!!!!!"
[Tune in next fanfic for F5!, Part III!!!]
Chaos: "I freaked out like that for nothing?"
Mayhem: "Apparently so."
[Cue the eyecatch!]
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