Back at the Senshi's penthouse suite, where it was much more quieter and with less debris or whipped cream floating around, the remaining Inner Senshi were busy unpacking their own things. Well, at least Ami and Makoto were; Rei and Miyu were still busy arguing over Carnage. Rei tried to use her Sailor Special Garlic Attack and breathe all the garlic from her Korean barbecue onto Miyu.
The vampire princess merely winced and waved a hand in front of her face. "Please, how can you honestly expect to kiss Carnage-chan with breath like that?"
"I'm starting to get worried," Makoto said, emerging from the kitchenette. "It's not like Usagi or Minako to disappear like this without a trace. What do you think, Ami-chan?"
Makoto turned around and discovered a sweatdrop hovering next to her head upon seeing that Ami was far busy modelling new fashions of negligee to be concerned with her disappearing friends.
Ami looked up from her teddy. "Did you say something, Mako-chan?"
"A-Ami-chan...!" Mako-chan lamented. Abruptly there was a knock at the door. Makoto sighed. "Hopefully that's them crying about how they forgot their hotel keys in the room."
"Room service!" a voice outside called.
"Did we order room service?" Ami asked.
Rei paused from her arguing with Miyu. "With all that Korean barbecue we had tonight, I'd be surprised if any of us are hungry for the next few days."
Makoto nodded and opened the door. "Gomen nasai," she apologized. "But we didn't order any food."
The bellhop handed Makoto a note as he wheeled in a cart with a large covered platter on top. "Compliments of the otaku in the penthouse suites."
"Oh! Is it from my Akito?" Rei asked eagerly, snatching up the note.
"*WHOSE* Carnage-chan?" Miyu countered.
After tipping the bellhop the girls closed their suite door and wheeled the cart into the centre of the living room. All four examined the note.
"'Roses are red, your...panties are blue'?" Mako-chan read. "'They're quite soft in my hands and they're not on you!' What kind of pervert would write this?!"
Suddenly a cool draft blew past the fair Mako-chan. And as if on cue, the lid was thrown off the platter to reveal inside...well, who else but Havoc. "I might not be a Marmalade Boy or a Mustard Girl, but I've certainly got enough Jello for everyone!" she exclaimed, brandishing mako-chan's silken treasures.
"Ecchi!!" Rei exclaimed, punting Havoc across the room. However Havoc rebounded off the walls and shot right past them, a draft suddenly blowing past all four girls. Havoc held out her four newest collector's pieces. "Hotcha! Miyu, I never knew you enjoyed black lace!"
Miyu growled, a fireball erupting from her open palm. "I don't care whether or not you're a Shinma, but I'm sending you to the darkness permanently."
"Sorry," Havoc replied. "I've already been banned from the Skima realm. Twice."
Miyu faultered, and turned to Ami. "Just what is her problem anyways?"
Ami sighed. "I only wish we knew. We might be able to cure it then."
Suddenly their front door was smashed apart as Carnage charged into the penthouse suite, Kodachi's ribbon still wrapped around his one leg. A crazed look in his eyes, Carnage aimed his oversized Beam rifle at Havoc. "Get ready to find yourself orbitting the sun, you freak!!"
"Hentai in the Sky with Panties!" Havoc sang.
* * *
Anyhoo, leaving the gratuitous smiting scene for a moment, it is now time to pick on Chaos a bit more just because the author feels like doing it.
Chaos: [sulking] "Oh goodie."
An SD Chaos shrieked and flailed around as the entire hotel abruptly rumbled, trying to keep his balance. But given Chaos' grace of a one-legged swan trying to land, his li'l Super Deformedship Chaos toppled over. Lucky for him, though, a carnivorous SD Godzilla-thingy was right there to open her mouth and help soften Chaos' landing.
Chaos gave a muffled, high-pitched scream as he stood up and tried to pry what he assumed to be Rampage's mouth off his face.
His eyebrow twitched as he managed to free his face. "Rampage!" he exclaimed, hoisting her up in his arms. "You got drool all over my...my...when did you get a pacifier?"
"chu chu!" the carnivorous SD Godzilla-thingy squeaked happily while sucking on a bright red pacifier.
Chaos turned around to see Rampage grabbing one of his pants in her mouth and dragging it back into the living room for an evening snack. "CHU CHU!" Rampage chirped.
"Hey!" Chaos exclaimed. "What gives? You already ate Kimba the White Lion earlier this afternoon! I just bought those pants, Rampage! Get back here!"
"chu chu!" the other Godzilla-thingy squeaked through her pacifier.
A frantic, bug-eyed SD Chaos slowly looked back at a seemingly identical yet smaller bundle of mascot and teeth in his hands. Naturally, Chaos freaked.
"KYAAAAA!!!" he exclaimed, throwing the new Godzilla-thingy right out the door and into the living room. "There's two of them now?!"
He groaned, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "And those were my new Tamahome Hilfiger pants Rampage ate too. Could this fanfic get any more sadistic towards me?!"
Chaos blinked in confusion as he leaned back and ran his hands over the bed. "Lumpy mattress," he muttered, looking back. "Leave it up to me to get the bed with--"
His eyes bugged out as suddenly the covers giggled.
Chaos: [turning to the author] "No...you wouldn't be *that* cruel, would you?"
[Fanboy's Note: Ask and you shall receive! ^-^ Tee hee!]
Now sporting very wide & frightened eyes and his kitty ears, Chaos pulled back the covers to discover a very kawaii Hotaru sleeping in his bed. Hotaru's eyes opened, and she smiled as she saw Chaos.
"Ohayo, Chaos-chan," she said, rolling over to place her head in his lap.
"H-Hotaru?!" Chaos exclaimed. "Wh-What are you doing here?! What m I doing here?! What is the author doing putting us here?!"
"We'd like to ask you the same question, Chaos," Haruka's voice agreed darkly.
Chaos launched into SD mode as the kana for "dead fanboy walking" scrolled in behind him. He turned around to see Haruka and Michiru looming in the doorway. Haruka had her Space Sword. Michiru had a whip.
"KYAAAAA!!! Hotaru-chan, leggo!!" the frantic SD Chaos shouted, waving his hands around so fast they became li'l circular blurs without arms.
Hotaru only laughed, all smiles as she hugged her favourite fanboy. "Aren't you even going to give me a goodnight kiss?"
Haruka stepped forward, raising her sword.
"Haruka, Michiru, I swear," Chaos gulped nervously. "Nothing happened. Honest! Nothing! I...I...I am so dead, aren't I?"
With wicked smiles on their faces, Haruka and Michiru nodded.
[Cue the Chocolate & Tira Misu transformation music!]
Chaos: o.O "TASUKETEEEEE!!!!"
* * *
It was the page before the end of the fanfic, and all through the hotel not a character was stirring...except for the hentai bounding down the hallways and into Setsuna's private penthouse suite.
"Pu-chan Pu-chan Pu-chan!!!"
A few minutes later, Setsuna was surprised to hear a knock at her door. Assuming it to be Haruka or Michiru she opened the door only to find a bellhop bringing in a cart with a large covered platter. "Room service!" he announced.
Setsuna was puzzled. "Gomen nasai," she apologized. "But I didn't order any food."
The bellhop handed Setsuna a note as he wheeled in a cart with a large covered platter on top. "Compliments of the otaku in the penthouse suites."
Setsuna dropped the note instantly, and leaped over the couch to grab her key-shaped staff just as the lid was thrown off the platter to reveal inside a grinning, female Havoc.
"Pu-chan!" Havoc exclaimed, flinging herself with open arms at Setsuna. The next thing she knew, her face was kissing the coffee table.
Havoc blinked and looked around the apartment. "Pu-chan?" Havoc asked. "Na ni? She disappears and leaves behind her staff, a peach, and *not* her panties?"
Suddenly the wall in Setsuna's suite was ripped away from the rest of the hotel by an enormous mecha hand. "Alright, Havoc!" Carnage growled from inside the cockpit of his F-91 Gundam. "What did you to Setsuna, you freak?!"
"Nothing," Havoc lamented. "I wasn't even able to get Pu-chan's panties from here! All I wound up with was this!"
Carnage's eyebrow twitched. "A peach? What the hell?"
"And it's not even a lemon!" Havoc sighed, tossing the fruit over his shoulder. "Oh well, there's always Ami-chan!"
Carnage was just about to unleash his two beam cannons when he saw a frantic SD Chaos raced past the doorway, followed by Red Queen Haruka and Dominatrix Michiru.
Dominatrix Michiru: "Chaos, It's time for the whip again!"
Red Queen Haruka: "Say it, Chaos!"
Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!! JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA!!!!!"
Havoc: [bounding after them!] "Hotcha! Spank me too, Michi-baby! I've been a naughty little hentai today!"
Carnage hopped down from the Gundam and raced into the hallway to witness the spectacle. And in doing so he ran right into Miyu and Rei...who both latched onto him. Makoto and Ami leaped over the trio, followed quickly by Mayhem and Pesti-chan, who was giving Hotaru a piggyback given her weak physical condition.
Chaos was busy enough racing across the floor, the walls and the ceiling, pulling 360's around the entire hallway. Suddenly as he sprang around a corner, Michiru's whip snagged his leg. Chaos went down, crashing facefirst through another hotel room door and onto the carpet.
"Itai!!" he whined, rubbing the swollen bump sticking out from his hair. One eye and then the other opened up, only to focus on a black shoe just a few inches away from his nose. Chaos' eyes immediately ballooned out.
"KYAAAA!!!" he shouted, bowing down. "JO'O-SAMA!!!!"
Chaos returned to his normal--er, his abnormal--er, his usual state, and lifted his head up. He was face to face with a kawaii, ten year-old girl and not another woman who demanded he call her the Queen.
"What the?" he muttered, expecting something far worse than someone so cute.
The girl tipped forward on her tiptoes, her rather tight, black Chinese dress leaning into his face. Her long aqua-green hair was done up in what resembled Usagi's "odangos", and yet her hair was still long enough to have two long braids at the end.
"Ooooh!" she said excitedly. "Hysteria's so glad to be here!"
"Hysteria?" Chaos asked, picking himself off the floor.
Hysteria happily nodded, her eyes big and bright, their colour easily matching Hysteria's hair colour. "Hai! Meeting like this is just so kawaii, ne? Ne? Ne?"
Chaos took one look around the hotel room he had crashed into, and shrank into bug-eyed SD mode in a heartbeat. The suite was large and luxurious, walls coloured in pink, yellow and blue. There was a large bed with fluffy sheets and puffed up pillows, all with little heart designs and super deformed versions of all the characters from countless Animes. Posters of cute female idol singers littered the walls, one ending where another began. Stuffed animals of all shapes, species and sizes littered the floor, the bed, the table, the bigscreen TV, the bookshelf, the tropical plants, even the kitchen counter.
"Must...fight it," Chaos muttered, starting to shake. "Must...fight...diabetic...inducing...cuteness."
Chaos turned around and recoiled right into the middle of Hysteria's room as Red Queen Haruka and Dominatrix Michiru smiled in stepping through the door, both ladies playing with their whips.
"Oooh!" Hysteria said, clapping her hands. "The kawaii little dominatrix-chans have such kawaii little whips, ne? Ne? Ne?"
Haruka and Michiru paused, their attention now on Hysteria. The rest of the Senshi and fanboys caught up with the melee, everyone tumbling in a heap through the doorway.
"Ooooh!" Hysteria said. "So many kawaii little otaku-chans and Senshi-chans are here in Hysteria's kawaii little hotel room! You all want to have a kawaii little tea party with Hysteria now, ne? Ne? Ne?"
Mayhem adjusted his glasses. "Who's that?"
"Never mind her," Carnage muttered. "Look at this room. It's too damned kawaii for words."
"Think there are some kawaii little panties here?" Havoc asked, bounding off Carnage's head and into the room.
Pesti-chan dusted off his shirt after helping Makoto to her feet. "Chaos, just what the hell is going on?"
Hysteria turned to Chaos...and promptly glomped onto his arm. "Wah!" she exclaimed excitedly. "It is you after all! Hysteria is happy to have found you, Chaos-poppa!"
Everyone froze, eyes wide in stunned disbelief.
Chaos facevaulted into a pile of SD Sailor Senshi plushies (not the decapitated Starlight ones, mind you!). "N-n-n-n-na ni?!" he exclaimed. "Oooh, I found a Mako-chan plushie!"
"Chaos-chan!" Hotaru piped up, lobbing a Sailor Saturn plushie at him.
Hysteria giggled as she hopped up and down while still yanking on Chaos' arm. "Hysteria thought she'd never find Chaos-chan. Tokyo is such a kawaii little city, ne? All Hysteria had to do was ask around and she came here!"
"Duo," the fair Mako-chan asked, stepping forward. "Do you know this girl?"
Hysteria's eyes widened. "Makoto-momma!" she exclaimed, happily leaping into a rather stunned Makoto's arms. A wide-eyed Makoto stared down at Hysteria, unable to say anything in response.
"'Makoto-momma'?!" Carnage and Mayhem chorused.
Ami-chan nervously looked from Hysteria to Chaos to Makoto. "But then...that means that Hysteria...is Duo and Mako-chan's...daughter."
The entire group of fanboys facevaulted, while the Sailor Senshi just stared in shock. Hotaru had a look of disbelief on her face. And then an oversized, demonic Pesti-chan rose up amidst the flames of Anime hell appearing behind Chaos, gripping a large pan-dimenional mallet.
Abruptly a hand rested on Pesti-chan's shoulder. He turned back to see: "Naoko Takeuchi?!" he exclaimed.
Naoko turned towards Chaos, pulling out her own 1000t mallet. "He's mine this time. Chaos, remember what I said in the last fic about what would happen if you dared to run amok with my characters?"
Chaos: [sweatdrop!] "This ending is going to be really painful, isn't it?"
Pesti & Naoko: [with mallets!] "SHIN'NE!!!!"
Hysteria: [^-^ giggle giggle!] "Chaos-poppa's just so kawaii when he's about to get smited, ne? Ne? Ne?"
[Cue the eyecatch!]
^-^ Tee hee!
Thanks goes out to Lord Mayhem for creating the scene where Chaos finds Hotaru in his bed, and the subsequent punishment he receives. Havoc also must be thanked for his contribution to the great panty chase of Havoc's. Arigato!
On to Part II
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