*            *            *

           Things were not going well for the boy-type uberperv. Exiled from Planet Hentai, he had decided to go cruising across the Aniverse and find out how to get his perverted groove back. Taking the Pervmobile had seemed like a good idea at the time.
           Right until the Dragon Pink Cadillac coughed, sputtered and finally rolled to a stop in the middle of the street. Nothing Havoc-kun tried could get the car to start up again. Frustrated, Havoc kicked the side of the uncooperative Pervmobile.
           All four tires immediately fell off, rolling past him.

Havoc: --;; "......"

           His took out his cell phone to call for a ride, but the phone abruptly rang before he could punch in a number. "Moshi moshi?" he answered. His eyes suddenly lit up. "Amano Jyako! What's happening?"
           As it turned out, Jyako wasn't up to much at all; the Benkyo Brigade had been dissolved by Skimehime-chan. Minni-May had returned to Chicago to be with Rally Vincent, Megumi was off somewhere dating a demon, Kintaro had hopped onto his mountain bike to study, and Happosai had gone to the Tendo Dojo.
           Havoc got all teary & Bambi-eyed as he heard about what had happened. "What else?...What do you mean 'I don't want to know'? Tell me...Yes, I really REALLY want to know. I can handle it...Hai...What do you mean you can't find the Dojiverse?!" he exclaimed over the phone. "It's an entire dimension of hentai. How many of those can there be?...(o.O) It's become the Lost Dojiverse? And Kane Blueriver found it?!"
           Not wanting to hear anything else about having his precious Dojiverse annexed by some transdimensional screw-up, Havoc tossed the cell phone over his shoulder.
           "This is not happening," he chanted to himself, massaging his temples. "I must be trapped inside some kind of Twilight of the Dark Masters Zone episode."
           He paused, realizing he had just made a horrific crossover pun deserving of Chaos' ridiculous stupidity. Moments later the former Hentenno was seen banging his head against the hood of the Pervmobile, Cream Lemon flying in every direction.
           He didn't even hear another car pull up behind him.
           "Car problems?" a voice asked.
           Havoc grumbled about the unlubricated crankshaft, and turned around. His eyebrow involuntarily twitched as he saw Touga standing next to him.

Touga: [dramatically stretching out his arm] "Can't you hear it? The sound of the End of the Fic!"

Havoc: --;; "You can't be serious."

           [Cue the sounds of a car revving its engine!]

Touga: [ripping open his jacket to display his bare chest] "Now let us show you the End of the Fic!"

           [Abruptly the revving sound dies off as Touga is unceremoniously hauled away by Riot.]

Riot: "Okay, that's enough of anything-goes martial arts End of the Fic-fu for you. Let's go back to your most honourable psychiatric ward and you can have your most honourable dose of Demerol."

           Havoc silently watched the Utena redhead get dragged off, a puzzled look on his face. He didn't know exactly what had just happened--nor did he want to know anything about what had just happened.
           He resigned himself to have to use his bounce to get around. After all, the wonderful thing about Havoc is that Havoc's a wonderful thing. His brain is made out of Jello, and his ass is made out of spring. However...his "spring" seemed to have been uncoiled, as Havoc took a confident bound and then faceplanted on the ground.
           A large pan-dimensional Band-Aid now on his nose, he lifted his head off the sidewalk--only to see a red convertible next to him.

Akio: [suave grin] "Need a lift?"

*            *            *

           It was late into the night as Dark Mayhem ventured out from his room to raid the fridge for some Hard Lemonade. However someone else was still up; he could see light coming from the computer. Since there were
no moans coming from said machine, he guessed that it wasn't Sarcasm hosting her online 'So You Want to Fondle My Bishounen?' game again.
           "I can't believe you're actually this much of an ass-kisser on the first day of school," he sighed, walking over to the computer. "We didn't even have any teachers around to give us homework."
           Pesti-chan looked up from the stacks of files scattered around the desk. The computer screen was busy running through multiple search engines, cross-referencing with the BEAST and Magi supercomputers. "Komban wa," he said, stifling a yawn.
           Dark Mayhem surveyed the scrolling data. "What's with the research? Ritsuko had a lover's spat with Maya, and wants you as her replacement in NERV?"
           "If only it was about my status as an EVA pilot," Pesti-chan replied. "After what Chaos said about Hotaru's strange growth spurt, I decided to check the series. I've spent the past two hours going over these Hitoshi Doi Coles notes, and they are very weird."
           "Weird is a relative term in our universe," Dark Mayhem said, taking a drink from his Hard Lemonade. "An oversized Gentle Uterus crashing through the ceiling is something anyone else but us would call weird."

Chaos: "Curse that Sailor Star Pol--!"

           [Cue the Gentle Uterus!]


           Pesti-chan rolled his eyes as he heard the impact inside Chaos' wall scroll. "You know, for an attack that's supposedly gentle, it certainly is harsh on the floor."
           "Daijobu. Chaos probably broke the uterus' fall." Dark Mayhem gestured to the stacks of papers. "Care to elaborate on what you're calling weird?"
           "It's the season thing," Pesti-chan replied, handing an open file to Dark Mayhem. "Look, we've really screwed with Sailormoon continuity. According to Hitoshi Doi, the Senshi enter Jyuban High at the start of Sailorstars. Right now we haven't even left SuperS--and here we've just started our second year in high school."
           Dark Mayhem shrugged as he skimmed through the synopsis. Tossing the sheets on the kitchen counter, he walked over to the fridge and helped himself to some of the leftovers inside. After rummaging around he found himself some super-strength soba (courtesy of Happosai) to graze on before breakfast.
           "So what if plot continuity is low on our author's priority list?" the uber exploder fanboy said, now fishing for a pair of chopsticks. "It's nothing new. And it's not like we should be worried about it."
           One of his eyebrows went up as he saw the sweatdrop hovering next to Pesti-chan's head.
           "That's the problem," Pesti-chan said. "Look at our SuperS adversaries. The Amazon trio and Amazoness Quartet have given up-and they were the underlings."
           "You think Nehelenia might be next?"
           Pesti-chan nodded. "The chain of events are starting to lay out like they do in the first six episodes of Sailorstars, where Nehelenia shows up for payback. Everyone's starting to get fixated on mirrors, and Hotaru's got that freaky growth spurt. But that's where things get muddled."
           Dark Mayhem started to chow down on his soba. "How so?"
           "This is all supposed to happen after the Senshi's first battle against Nehelenia," Pesti-chan explained. "In that battle Usagi jumps into the air after Chibiusa, and they freefall for five minutes without even hitting the ground. And Nehelenia gets sealed in the process too! But we haven't even met Nehelenia yet for a first time, and the plot is
unfolding as if it already did happen."
           "It could have occurred during MSTfic 3," Dark Mayhem mused, chewing on a soba noodle. "Remember, we were in the theatre for three consecutive lemon riffs. During that time, Tokyo was left to its own devices. What if Nehelenia used that time to plan her take-over, grab Chibiusa's dream mirror, and fight the Senshi? Without us around, the series then easily concluded the way it was meant to. And then the Senshi got teleported to Cephiro, and returned to finish the MSTfic. Continuity on both sides would remain intact, and still allow us to do F9!"

Pesti: [blink blink!] "Ano...can that actually happen?"

Dark Mayhem: "How the hell should I know? I'm makin' this up as I go. I'm an avatar, not a rocket scientist."

Pesti: [sweatdrop!] "Maybe I should just ICQ Washu instead."

*            *            *

           "So," Akio remarked as he reclined in the front seat of his red Stingray convertible. He closed his eyes and savoured the feel of the wind against his bare chest, the open ends of his jacket flapping in the breeze. "Are you enjoying yourself?"
           As far back into the backseat on the passenger's side as he could get, Havoc glowered at Akio. "Fine. Just drive."
           Akio warmly patted the front passenger's seat. "Are you sure you don't want to sit up here?"
           Akio shifted to a higher gear. The darkness around the car never seemed to change, though the streetlamps they passed by were becoming blurs of light. Havoc tried to take his mind off how much his skin was crawling just being in the Utena playboy's car. Unfortunately, he didn't have any panties on him to make into Origasmi.
           "I heard about how you lost the Royal Thong to the Red Queen," Akio said, his right arm draped over the seatback. "It must be devastating to realize that you are no longer the uberperv you once were."
           Havoc crossed his arms over his DOJI BOY jacket, levelling a hard glare at Akio. "And your point is?"
           "I could introduce you to my sister, Anthy," Akio replied evenly. "She's great in bed."

Havoc: >.< "I'm not listening!"

           Akio just laughed, taking a deep breath of the night air flowing past them. "I can help restore you to your former glory, Havoc. Your perverted dreams can be realized. And you can once again be given the power to revolutionize the hentai!"
           With a groan, Havoc buried his head in his hands. "I really don't need this right now," he lamented. "My mojo'o-sama is suffering from just being in this damned car."
           "Now then, let me show you the Ends of the Fic!" Akio proclaimed, his hands leaving the steering wheel. With a grand sweeping motion he did a handstand on the windshield before sliding down to lounge on the front
hood. His arms draped over the windshield, Akio laughed as the wind tickled his bare chest.
           Suddenly there was a loud "Thump!", and then Desolation's severed head was tickling Akio's chest too.

Akio: o.O;;

Desolation's head: --;; "Didn't you see the crosswalk, you moron?!"

Fairy Godbabbit: [wearing a seatbelt in the passenger's seat of the car] "You can get points deducted from your license if you drive this recklessly, you know."

*            *            *

           The next day found the fanboys returning to Jyuban High once again. And it was a beautiful day to be alive too! The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Chaos in his lingerie was once again being catapulted across the city (courtesy of a pizza delivery cannon). With an unceremonious "Wham!" he bellyflopped onto the sidewalk, his legs twitching after the impact.
           Standing a few feet away, Dark Mayhem rolled his eyes. "Carnage certainly has a colourful way of making you arrive on time."
           "Speaking of the mecha freak, where is he?" Pesti-chan added, looking around the street as other Jyuban High students filtered into the school courtyard.
           "I think Onii-san got locked in the bathroom by Toilet Hanako again," Demolition replied, nonchalantly stepping over Chaos and through Jyuban's front gate. "Rei seemed pretty pissed when she showed up to walk him to school, only to hear Hanako's giggles and him wanting his underwear back."
           The RPG otaku paused and glanced back over his shoulder. The other two fanboys staring at him with sweatdrops hovering next to their heads.
           "What?" he asked.
           "Nothing," Pesti-chan sighed, hauling Chaos off the ground. "At least it wasn't Miyu who found them; I don't exactly want Hanako banished to the Dark."

Dark Mayhem: ^^ "Ecchi."

Pesti: "Bite me, newt-boy."

           "Ohayo gozaimasu, Carrot-chan," Ami said, unabashedly kissing her beau on the cheek.
           Pesti-chan leaned back as the pillar of fire was set off once again. "Did you have a good evening last night?" he asked Makoto as she strolled up the group.
           Makoto nodded, though her expression attested otherwise to her mood. "I'm still a little worried about those students. A lot more people have started staring at mirrors now."
           "We think it's a new threat. There's going to be a meeting tonight to see what we should do about it," Ami added, her arm wrapped around Dark Mayhem's waist. "Ne, you two wouldn't know what it might be, would you?"

Dark Mayhem & Pesti: ^-^;; "Not a clue!"

           Chaos shook his head and rattled the few brain cells that were still inside. Quickly changing into something a little more comfortable, he happily strolled into Jyuban.
           "You know," he said. "I'm kinda glad that we're starting school again. Especially with the way Hotaru is now, the more I can avoid her the happier I am. Mainly because it means less chances for Haruka to injure me."
           "Not if Hotaru transfers," Dark Mayhem countered, grinning.
           He was subsequently doused with cold water.
           And Chaos was subsequently blasted with a Guns N Ro by Newt Schneider.
           "I don't think Duo will ever grow up," Makoto sighed as she and Pesti-chan decided to avoid the battlezone before cows started to fly.
           However they didn't get very far before they ran into Anarchy. She grinned and waved Pesti-chan over as she sat inside a booth.
           "Oh, I didn't know you cooked," Makoto said, thrilled to see a fellow aspiring chef.
           Pesti-chan didn't quite share her excitement, knowing Anarchy's whimsical sadism a little better than his girlfriend did. "What's with the concession stand?"
           Anarchy smiled as she stared up at the cloudless skies. "Oh, no reason. It's a beautiful day, and I just wanted to enjoy the feel of the sun on my face." She turned to Chaos as he got punted into the courtyard. "Care for a burger? It's a little early in the morning, I admit, but it's free."
           Now Chaos certainly wasn't about to pass up on free food. And since he had been rather rudely launched from the apartment before he could have breakfast, this was a welcomed treat. The fanboys edged away from Chaos as he proceeded to wolf down Anarchy's food.
           Chaos paused between chews, a strange expression contorting his face. "This tastes funny," he remarked. "Anarchy, what's in this?"
           Anarchy, wearing her 'CALL ME THE COOK' apron, grinned as she held up a spatula. "Oh, not much. I just ground Chibiusa up into Yamburgers."

Chaos: o.O [choking] *Mph!*

           "Hey, wait a minute!" Pesti-chan exclaimed, as a panicky SD version of Chaos dashed back and forth across the schoolyard. "You're not Anarchy! You're her Dark Mirror clone from F8!"
           Anarchy 2 beamed. "Hai! I just happened to be in the neighbourhood, and decided to see how you guys were doing."
           "Ah yes, the good-hearted copy which the original Anarchy corrupted," Dark Mayhem said with a nod. He turned to a rather perplexed Demolition. "She's an Anarchy who smites Chaos in a nurturing kind of way."
           Demolition leaned over and appraised Anarchy 2. "You mean there are two of her running loose, just like Havoc?"
           "Hai hai," Pesti-chan said, helping give a hacking Chaos the Heimlich Manoeuvre. "Technically there's a Bambi-eyed, peace-loving Carnage clone running around the series, but I don't think he's come back down from the orbit your brother blasted him into."
           They adjourned to their homeroom, with Demolition having to drag a twitching Chaos up the stairs by his legs. Laughing together, Pesti and Makoto exchanged ideas on where to meet for the lunch hour. Dark Mayhem
and Ami set off the sprinklers yet again.
           But everyone froze as they walked into the classroom.
           "N-Na ni?" Ami stammered.
           Demolition scowled. "What the hell?"
           All the other students were serenely sitting in their desks, staring into the handheld mirrors they had brought. The silence was so apparent that you could have heard a cabbit drop.
           "Thank goodness you're here!" Minako said, deep relief in her voice as she hugged Ami. "They've been like this since I got here!"
           "What are you doing here so early anyways?" Chaos asked. He glanced down at the Yggdrasil jacket in her arms. "Ah...of course."
           Demolition absently trying to see if his demon wards would work on the possessed students. But every time a ward was stuck onto someone's head, it burned up instantly. Demolition recoiled in surprise as another fireball singed his fingertips.
           "Shimatta!" he said. "This is powerful black magic. I'd have an easier time with a thumb war against Shabranidgo than in trying to seal this curse off."
           Pesti-chan sat down on his desktop. "This isn't good. According to the Hitoshi Doi notes, the Mirror Paraderies are going to show up next."
           "Daijobu," Dark Mayhem reassured the younger avatar. "These things always work themselves out in the next two or three parts of the fic. And we can always use Chaos as a human shield against those paraderies."
           "Hai!" Chaos agreed. "I can be the human--HEY!"
           Usagi came in a short time afterwards, late as usual but not frantic about that fact. A forlorn and worried expression on her face, she took her seat next to Chaos.
           "What's wrong?" he asked, checking his makeup in one of the catatonic student's mirrors.
           "It's about Mamo-chan," Usagi said, trying not to cry. "He's been acting really strange. And last night when I went to his apartment, he was gone."

Chaos: [aside to Pesti-chan] "I wonder if Tuxedo Kekko Kamen got his butt frisked by Pandemonium again for indecent exposure."

Pesti: [clobbering Chaos with a cabbage] "Did I really want to hear that? No, I did not!"

           "Cheer up, Usagi," Minako said, trying to hype up some optimism into the classroom. "He was probably out for a walk when you checked on him."
           She grabbed Usagi's wrist and pulled her blonde friend over to the window. "Come on, Usagi-chan! It's a beautiful day out, and all our friends are enjoying the weather."
           Usagi was joined by Makoto and Ami, and the obligatory "friends forever" scene began as the sweet violin music started up. A group hug was done as the girls felt their spirits get lifted by the promise of a new day.
           The fanboys promptly gagged.
           "Hey, look!" Makoto said as she leaned out the window. "Ne, Kamui, there's your friend. The guy called Desolation." She smiled and started waving to him. Moments later her smile faded.
           "Um, nevermind," Minako said hesitantly, turning to the fanboys. "The ??????? got him."

Desolation: [running away] "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

*            *            *

His lordship Chaos: [at his laptop] "Hmmmm...we're running out of new things to smite Desolation with. What else is oversized yet comical?"

Kawaii female assistant: "Well, there's always your raging ego."

His lordship Chaos: ^-^ "I like, I like!"

*            *            *

           "Hey, look!" Makoto said as she leaned out the window. "Ne, Kamui, there's your friend. The guy called Desolation." She smiled and started waving to him. Moments later her smile faded.
           "Um, nevermind," Minako said hesitantly, turning to the fanboys. "The author's ego got him."

Big ghostly Chaos apparition: >) "FEED ME!!!"

Desolation: [running away] "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

           The Senshi went back to their desks.
           Chaos tried to cheer Usagi up with his newest Chaosfic: Slayers Trigun. It didn't go over as well.
           "'Look at Valgaarv the Stampede'," Usagi read, a sweatdrop appearing next to her head. "'Doesn't he dodge bullets so suavely, moving like cheese melting off a...shaved Saiyan'?"
           "I've been meaning to change that part," Chaos said, hastily grabbing the fic from her.
           Dark Mayhem, sprawled out on Ami's desktop as she fed him some cherries, lifted his head up as a thoroughly charred Carnage limped into the classroom. Without saying anything, Carnage tossed the remains of his burnt schoolbag onto his desk and then sat down.

Fanboys: "......"

Carnage: --;; "Say nothing to me. Not a single word."

Demolition: ^-^ "I hope one of you in the bathroom remembered to flush."

Carnage: "Blast Ash!!"

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