[Hysteria Parentage Theory #1: Yamolution.]
The Crystal Palace
Sometime in the 30th century...
Deep beneath the palace, Ami sat back cackling with glee. All around her were various test tubes, bubbling concoctions in glass flasks, and hundreds of hand-written notebooks stacked in no apparent order.
Her white labcoat draped over her form, Ami let out a triumphant sigh. For the past few decades, she had been desperately trying to isolate the faulty dating chromosome in Dark Mayhem's DNAvatar. Her intent was to then remove it, and thusly allow her many many non-barbecuing lemon scenes with him.
The theory however was easier than the actual process.
After years of studying each fanboy's individual DNAvatar strand, she had finally identified the genetic chromosomes of the fanboy's disorders and powers!
The only DNAvatar specimens she hadn't been able to procure were from Riot, Ruckus, Sarcasm and Demolition. And Pandemonium, being a Boomer, was cursed more because Havoc built her. But Riot was currently out training for his latest date/battle with Twilight Suzuka. Sarcasm had taken her bishies off to some planet that was one giant hotsprings resort--and Ruckus, thinking of all those pretty-boys in Speedos, smuggled himself in with her luggage.
Demolition just didn't seem to be around. Mainly because whenever he rolled back his sleeves and flexed a muscle to allow for a blood sample to be taken, his Invisible Boyfriend Syndrome kicked in. Naturally Ami suddenly couldn't see where he'd gone off to.
The final result from the fanboys she did get was a genetic cocktail of a potion: run through millions of gruelling tests, delicately adjusted, left in the fridge overnight, accidentally dropped through the sewer system, hidden for a bet, and then buried for a century. The DNAvatar potion, kept in a seemingly harmless glass vial, had the power to cause any F! genes to go into recession.
If given to any fanboy, it would render them into a normal character without any special self-inserted powers--or curses for that matter. Poison to fight poison, as it were.
Instead is painstakingly isolating and extracting each little bit of the faulty dating chromosome from Dark Mayhem, she could get rid of it in one fall swoop. The other advantage was that it would nullify his Jusenkyo curse, which at times wreaked havoc in their lives when their luxury waterbed sprung a leak.
However, there was a dark side to the potion.
If given to a normal person *without* any DNAvatar, the potion would cause a horrific mutation. An ordinary person would spontaneously manifest strange powers & curses as the DNAvatar worked like a virus, changing their physical, psychological and psychic patterns to that of a fanboy or fangirl.
Even in the minutest of doses, like a mere droplet, the potion triggered the transformation...or mutation. Whichever way one wanted to spin doctor it. In essence, the potion would turn the average citizen into little brothers and sisters to Crystal Tokyo's most insane defenders. And after the Black Moon rollerball incident--
[Fanboy's Note: Don't ask. All the characters involved have signed a non-disclosure agreement and will sue.]
--they couldn't afford to have any more otaku running loose.
Still, despite the risks, the offensive/defensive applications of this potion were incredible! As Ami held the vial of pure DNAvatar before her face, she couldn't help but think of a bio-agent capable of creating an army of god-like avatars loyal to Crystal Tokyo. They'd be able to wipe out any enemy--and then feed the potion to the soldiers again, reverting the avatars back into their normal versions.
Crystal Tokyo would be safe forever!
Of course, that could only happen once the potion was mass-produced. For now Ami only had the working prototype. Yet it worked! For the first time since the experiments had begun, it was working!
Placing the vial on the table she began to giggle wildly, dancing around the lab with glee. Finally she wouldn't have to inject Mayhem with stabilising compounds before starting with their ecchi moments! No more having to wait an hour before gettin' lemon wit' it, as spontaneous combustions tend to really spoil the mood.
Unfortunately, Ami's reverie was broken as a familiar and annoying pink fungus skipped into the laboratory. "Ami-chaaaaaan!" Chibiusa squeaked as she ran between the tables, her equally annoying Lunaball floating behind her.
Just then the Yamhead noticed the DNAvatar vial. "What's this?" she asked curiously to the manic scientist.
Ami was still lost in her "no smoking until *after* the sex" ecchi fantasies. Thusly she didn't see Chibiusa remove the vial from its secure stand. Chibiusa marvelled at the pretty glowing lights in the glass tube.
"Oh, it's something I made for Carrot-chan and the other fanboys. Don't touch it," Ami told the obnoxious pink-haired child.
She turned around, and to her horror saw that Chibiusa had already half drunk the potion! "Chibiusa, no!" Ami exclaimed frantically, though her protest fell on deaf, yammy ears.
Three quarters of the vial were now gone.
And then all of the DNAvatar was swallowed.
Ami's face went drained of all its colour, and she stared in disbelief at the Yamhead. With a satisfied sigh, Chibiusa tossed the vial over her head. The glass tube bounced off the Lunaball...and a stray droplet found its way on the Lunaball.
"P'don me..." the Yamhead burped, and happily strolled out of the lab.
"M-Masaka," Ami whispered.
A few seconds later she got over her shock, and then raced out after Chibiusa. However, it was already too late. Ami managed to retrace the chiffon-haired demon--er, princess' steps to the throne room.
As it turned out, the official Twister tournament was abruptly called off as Senshi and fanboys alike gawked at the changing Chibiusa. In front of their disbelieving eyes the pink-haired horror began to mutate, morph and bulge in strange gainaxy ways.
Neo Queen Serenity stared in horror as her pride and embarrassed joy changed from a sugar-run brat to a diabetic-inducing fangirl in front of the whole court.
Hysteria: ^^v "Wow. Chibiusa's feeling a lot more kawaii now, ne? Ne? Ne?"
Carnage stared down at the busty kid. "What the hell?"
Neo Queen Serenity took the new and definitely not improved Yamhead rather well...if one considers screaming and jumping into Endymion's arms (and causing him to crumple over backwards from the unexpected inertia & weight) a good sort of reaction.
"So much for the Twister tournament," Minako sulked.
"Shimatta," Pan-chan sighed. "And here I was sure to take the game with my left breast on blue."
Pesti-chan cocked his head sideways, one of his eyebrows raising up as he studied the princess. "So who...or what is she?"
"I vote we call her Hysteria," Dark Mayhem glibly remarked. "Mainly because that's exactly what she's causing right now."
Hotaru looked over at Ami. "What happened to her anyways?"
Ami ruefully explained the effects of the DNAvatar serum on a non-fanboy/girl, and then gestured to Hysteria to show the end result of such a massive DNAvatar intake.
Moments later a second example was discovered as the Lunaball suddenly disappeared in a kawaii puff of smoke...and was replaced by Catastrophe-chan.
Catastrophe: ^-^ "chu chu!"
"Okay, the cute li'l baby Godzilla-thingy can stay," Haruka stated, playing with Catastrophe.
Michiru pointed over to Hysteria. "That, however, has to go."
"Sugoi! Look at these kawaii little breast-chans!" Hysteria piped up, checking out her ample cleavage. "Wait...did Chibiusa just say what she thinks she said?"
"Well, it's official," Demolition remarked, throwing his hands up into the air. "The future's gone straight to hell!"
"Waaah! Chibiusa doesn't like this! Change Chibiusa back now!" Hysteria shouted angrily, stomping her foot on the ground. Unfortunately at that exact moment a surge of Anarchy's potentially omnipotent powers manifested.
The floor beneath Hysteria's foot cracked apart and collapsed, the entire throne room falling to pieces. Fanboys and Senshi alike scrambled to reach safer ground, watching as the floor caved in and then plummeted to the sub-level beneath it.
Seconds later there was an even greater crash as all the heavy debris from the floor crashed onto the sub-level's floor...and then caused the sub-level floor to collapse. Five collapsed floors and one very large reconstruction bill later, the debris and dust seemed to have settled down.
Hysteria: ^^;; "Ano...oops-chan?"
The queen of Crystal Tokyo, having only slightly composed herself in the aftermath, walked over to her now genki genki daughter. "Ami, get another sample of that DNAvatar concoction," Neo Queen Serenity instructed, a restrained quiver of anger and horror in her voice. "NOW."
"Um...Serenity?" Rei said quietly, pointing down into the hole. "Ami's lab was two floors down--right beneath the throne room."
Neo Queen Serenity: o.O;;
Carnage leaned over the edge of the gaping chasm. "Shimatta! Hysteria really did a number on that! I'd say the entire laboratory's been crushed beyond all recognition."
He was suddenly hoisted up at the collar by a frantic Endymion. "Na ni?!" the king shrieked--moments before he got zorched with a crystal satellite strike.
"It took me two or three decades just to create a prototype potion," Ami said in a stunned, subdued voice. She cast her eyes away from the hole, looking at everyone else's expectant faces. "I've just lost all my notes, experiments and test samples. No matter what I can still recall in my mind, it could take me easily ten years to recreate the potion exactly the way it was when Chibiusa drank it."
Everyone slowly turned and looked at Hysteria.
"So what you're saying is...we're stuck with her for at least a decade?" Demolition remarked.
"At least," Ami lamented.
"That's a bad thing, isn't it?" Chaos asked.
Hotaru nodded. "Yes, I'd definitely call that a bad thing, Chaos-chan."
Makoto then voiced the next obvious question: "So what do we do with Chibiu--er, Hysteria until Ami can undo this?"
Setsuna diplomatically cleared her throat. "Ahem! I believe I can find a solution, if you'll permit me, your Highness."
Neo Queen Serenity helplessly shrugged her shoulders. "You're the guardian of time, Setsuna. You would know best."
With a nod, Setsuna solemnly walked up to Hysteria. She thenswung the garnet orb end of her BAK in a large arc and belted Hysteria right into an awaiting wormhole to the past. "GET BACK THERE AND STAY BACK THERE!" Setsuna shouted out through the wormhole moments before it closed.
"I was expecting something a little different," Neo Queen Serenity said dryly.
Setsuna just shrugged.
Suddenly from the heights above came a loud shout of, "Hotcha!!"
Chaos had just enough time to look up before his eyes bugged out, and Havoc used his face as a landing pad. Hotaru groaned and shook her head. "Even in the future, some things never change."
Havoc dusted his DOJI BOY shirt off, and looked around at the devastated remains of the throne room. "Say, anyone here sense a disturbance in the Perv? I was over at Crystal Planet Hentai, and--"
"Havoc, could you at least get off Chaos first?" Hotaru inquired, gesturing down the accordion-looking fanboy beneath Havoc's feet.
"I can't believe our daughter's gone," Serenity said mournfully. "Oh, Mamo-chan, where did we go wrong?"
"Still," mused Endymion, looking on the bright side, "At least it's not *us* who deal with her for the next 50 years...."
[End of Theory #1]
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