Pandemonium waved her fist at the fleeting form of Miyu. "Hey, there are speed limits in this city, lady! I don't care if you are a vampire Shinma!"
Carnage could only blink a few times in surprise. "I...I'm freed from one tenacious suitor! Yes!"
He was suddenly tackled by Ruckus.
"Ooooh, that means one less rival for me!" the bishounen ai exclaimed happily, glomping onto Carnage's back.
Thirty seconds and one large Dragu Slave later found a scorched and indignant Ruckus bandaging up her--er, his arm. "Touchy, aren't we?" he sniffed at Carnage.
Carnage: [grrrr!] "I hate that fanboy."
Chaos: o.O; "You just blew up Chez Baka!!!"
Giving himself a few seconds and helluva lot of decaff coffee to calm himself down, Carnage turned to Pesti-chan."Pesti, time to show these avatars who's the self-inserted boss!"
Pesti-chan groaned and shook his head. "Oh no...not the EVA Hell Custom again."
"Quit your whining," Carnage sighed. "I know I've fixed it properly this time."
As everyone quickly reformed their ranks, Carnage hauled out the batwing form of the EVA Hell Custom. Stuffed into a plugsuit against his better wishes, Pesti-chan crawled into the entry plug. "The Shizuma drive had better work this time," he growled to himself.
Meanwhile, Chaos was busy stalling for time by frantically running around in circles in the attempt to get away from Ruckus. Demolition and Dark Mayhem opted for facing off against Riot, while the Outers all ganged up on Pandemonium. Even still, Uranus and Saturn found that the blades of their weapons were evenly matched for Pandemonium's naughty tentacles of justice.
Pandemonium: "My tentacles spurt...with justice!!"
"Ready whenever you are!" Carnage called up to the lumbering EVA Hell.
Inside the entryplug, Pesti-chan crossed his fingers and then started the synchronization procedure. Everything powered up perfectly, EVA Hell's eyes glowing a fearsome red. With a low, guttural growl the unit came to life and slowly rose to its feet, towering over the other avatars.
"Wai!" Carnage exclaimed triumphantly, posing at the base of EVA Hell's feet. "Behold the EVA Hell Custom! Aside from its Angelic ass-kicking design, it's also got a stealth cloak, a dozen retractable prog knives, a microwave oven and cleats! It's a big black mech of mass destructive terror!!"
Pesti-chan nodded, letting the final synch ratios match up. "EVA Hell Custom, launch!"
He abruptly stopped as the viewscreen when blank, and then a bunch of words started to scroll across the screen: "Cast in the name of God...ye not guilty."
Pesti: [sweatdrop!] "Carnage...!"
Carnage: [irately punting the foot of the EVA Hell] "Stupid mech! I use one spare part from that Big O megadeus, and everythingcool goes to crap!"
"Hmph, two can play at that game," Ruckus snorted. "It may not be my style to fight with giant robots, but I just had to pilot this one because of it's name."
And with that, Ruckus bounded into the awaiting cockpit of a Fake mecha.
Demolition gawked. "You idiot, the name of that has nothing to do with the yaoi Anime!"
"That's it," Dark Mayhem said, taking out his cell phone. "I'm selling all my Symbol stock right now."
Carnage could only stare at the Fake with teary eyes. "That poor poor Gasaraki mecha...."
"If you're done with the mobile suits," Uranus snapped as she hastily dodged some random laserfire from Pandemonium. "We could use some help here!"
Neptune froze as Pandemonium charged straight towards her, bracing herself for a face-to-face confrontation. But Demolition suddenly jumped in front of Neptune, ready to attack with his Sword of Light. "I've got this one, Michiru!" he stated coolly, swinging the sword down.
But Pandemonium stopped just a foot shy of being actually hit with the Sword of Light. Sent completely off-balance, Demolition shrank into SD mode and faceplanted onto the ground.
"Strange, where did Neptune go?" Pandemonium remarked. But with Demolition and his Invisible Boyfriend Syndrome no longer blocking Neptune from view, she saw Neptune perfectly. "Ah, there you are! Naughty tentacles of justice, deploy!"
Neptune danced around the tentacles, unleashing a Deep Submerge with the hopes that the watery attack might short-circuit the Sexaroid. However it appeared Pandemonium was fairly water-resistant. So Neptune opted for an attack she hadn't used since the Christmasfic: Deep Throat Submerge.
That one proved to catch Pandemonium completely off-guard.
And naturally, as all this was happening Demolition was serving only as a floormat as the two females repeatedly stepped on him before taking the battle to another part of the road.
The vein in Demolition's forehead began to throb. "Okay, that hurt the ego a little," he growled.
"Then allow me to add to the ego deflation-fu," Riot stated, drawing his katana blade, He began to exaggeratedly brandish his weapon. "Ha, you cannot best my technique, for my sword was forged from the best metal and folded over 750 times by the great master--"
Demolition abruptly sliced Riot's katana in half with the Sword of Light.
"Ah. Very well," Riot said, quickly regaining his composure-fu. "But a true weapons master can be a most honourably formidable weapon with just their fists."
"Daijobu!" Chaos exclaimed, stepping forward. "I can stop Riot's rapid-fire attacks."
Saturn sighed, "Hopefully with something other than your face, Chaos-chan."
At the risk of stating the obvious, Chaos facevaulted. But he quickly regained his cool, leaping back onto his feet. "I've been training with the blazing transfer student, and have an ultimate attack that even Riot can't deflect: the Speeding Bullet Train Car Punch!"
Dark Mayhem: "Does Chaos realize that every time Noboru Takisawa tried to use the attack, shouting the name took so long that he always got hammered before he could complete it?"
Chaos: [chaaaaaarge!] "SPEEDING BULLET TRAIN CAR--"
Riot's fist: *WHAM!!!*
Chaos: x.x "Itai!"
Demolition: "I'd say that's a big 'no.'"
EVA Hell Custom: "Big No...Showtime!"
Carnage: [pulling out a beam cannon] "Okay, that's it! Back to the recycling bin for you!"
Pesti: o.O; "Kyaaaaaa!! Carnage, shoot it *after* I get out from the cockpit!"
But this being Carnage, thought was put into effect only after the EVA Hell Custom had been blown apart. As metal debris and SD Pesti-chans rained down, the battle continued to rage on. Uranus found herself hastily deflecting a barrage of shuriken as Ruckus made a bee-line for one of the hapless Pesti-chans. Naturally, SD Pesti #5 freaked and ran straight under a startled Pandemonium's legs.
This in turn caused Pandemonium to not pay attention to where her naughty tentacles of justice were going. One tentacle in particular veered off and gave Dark Mayhem a rather unexpected goosing. Not thrilled in the slightest, he spun around and proceeded to Guns N' Ro half the street. Saturn was able to hastily erect a Silence Wall that protected herself and the two other Outers.
But as it happened, Demolition and Carnage both simultaneously Paybacked the spell, causing it to break apart and go flying in every direction. Avatars and Senshi alike found themselves racing around in the hopes of not getting pummelled by the shattered spell.
Neptune: [frantically dodging] "Ara, Chaos is proving rather adept at avoiding getting hit."
Chaos: ^^v "It's from all the practice I got in beta-testing my newest Playstation game: Gunbuster A Groove! You get to try and shoot the annoying 'groove' characters with a Buster Beam, while performing some cool dance--!"
Demolition: --;; "Fireball."
Chaos: o.O;; "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"
Chaos: [scorched li'l fanboy] "What was that for?!"
Demolition: "Take a wild guess!"
As the fallout dispersed, leaving the street with a lot more potholes than ever before, it revealed a group of slightly bruised but still surviving characters.
"This is getting pointless," Dark Mayhem growled. "We're evenly matched with those three."
"See, this is what happens when you get a bunch of avatars together," Pesti-chan stated. "A whole lot of damage and not a lot of anything actually helpful."
Saturn was busy attending to the extra-crispy form of Chaos lying on the ground in a twitching heap. Warily she poked his side with the pole end of her glaive. "Ano...are you okay?"
Ruckus strolled up and placed a reassuring hand on Saturn's shoulder. "Oh, I'm sure he'll tough it out somehow. In the meantime, we have to get him comfortable so he can heal as soon as possible. First, we'll have to strip him nekkid. No wait...let me rephrase that: first, *I'll* have to strip him nekkid."
"Get away from me, yaoi-boy!" Chaos shrieked, scuttling away from Ruckus as fast as his barbecued body could. Ruckus casually sighed as both he and Saturn would up getting harmlessly pelted with herrings.
"Is he always this excitable?" Ruckus asked.
Saturn nodded. "You should see him whenever this Naoko woman shows up."
"So just what are we supposed to do now anyways?" Demolition asked, sheathing his Sword of Light.
Riot crossed his arms over his chest. "Ah, had enough, have you? Well then throw down your weapons, surrender your fic to us and I shall see that you are well-treated."
"Why would we want to surrender our fic?" Pesti-chan asked.
Pandemonium just shrugged. "Don't ask me. But SEELE wants you boys behaving like good little otaku, so who am I to argue?"
Her naughty tentacles of justice started to creep towards everyone else. "I'm really open to any options other than pointless fighting again," Neptune drawled.
Pesti-chan's face brightened. "Idea!" he exclaimed, pulling out a cell phone. He quickly dialled up the Goddess Technical Hotline.
"Moshi moshi, Goddess Technical Hotline," came Belldandy's voice on the other side. "How may we grant your fondest wish?"
"Great, you're there!" he said happily, giving the others a thumbs-up. "This is Pesti-chan, and we're in real trouble. We need a wish granted fast."
Belldandy paused. "Pesti-chan?"
There was a long pause on the other side.
And then suddenly: "We are sorry, but the dimension you have dialled is no longer in service. Please hang up and do not try again."
Pesti: --;; "Somehow I think we used up all our frequent caller points."
* * *
The evening was upon Tokyo, and the newly remodelled (not to mention newly violated) Planet Hentai was preparing for yet another night of "whip me again" activities. More candles were lit. More leashes and collars were handed out. Munhihausen was busy putting the finishing touches on his "101 Ways To Molest A Woman" interactive display booth.
"Ara, this is going to be quite the interesting evening, ne?" Red Queen Kasumi remarked. She then broke into a round of evil cackling. "WOH HO OHO HO HOH HO!!! Poor Havoc, not being the uberperv anymore. Oh well, more B&D for me. Where's my Ecchi-chan? Charon, get your tako-chan butt over here."
"Hai!" Charon called out, happily bounding on all fours towards Skimehime-chan. However, the leash that Chibiusa had him on only went so far, and very quickly Charon found himself unceremoniously yanked back.
Chibiusa sighed as she helped drag the slightly clotheslined Ecchi-chan over to Red Queen Kasumi. "He's very energetic, I'll give him that. He certainly gave me a workout."
"With or without the octopus curse?" Red Queen Kasumi asked.
That got a blush from the Yamhead. "Both."
There was the vague notion in the back of Skimehime-chan's mind that she was forgetting someone. But then again Charon made for such a flawless Ecchi-chan, who needed anyone else?
"Oh, there's something over on the Wall of Pain," Chibiusa added, thumbing over to the wall that had once been covered with famous panties from Havoc's collection. Now it displayed a variety of signed whips, nipple rings, enema pumps, leather ensembles and two-way dildos.
"It's addressed to you, but I don't recognize the monogram on it," the Yamhead continued. "Just thought you might want to know, Kasumi Jo'o-sama."
Red Queen Kasumi smiled pleasantly as she rested her stiletto-tipped shoes on Charon's back. "Thank you, Chibiusa. I'll check it out soon."
However, curiosity kept prodding at her like a relentless spanking. Finally unable to sit still and enjoy taking the '&' and turning SM into S&M (currently the Amazoness Quartet were punishing the Witches 5 for being such naughty little Mugen students), Skimehime-chan walked up to the wall. Much to her surprise, tacked onto the Wall of Pain was a pair of pink panties with the Hentopia seal. And they were Yoiko's panties no less.
A message was also neatly written on them:
To the one aroused,
I await a duel in the forbidden
ruins at sunset.
[Cue Shadow Girl A-ko walking onto the wall behind Red Queen Kasumi!]
Shadow Girl A-ko: [with phonograph] "Gogai! Gogai! Gogai!"
Shadow Girl B-ko: [holding up 2 separate dresses] "Red, blue. Red, blue. Oh, I can't decide! And this is a very important date too."
Shadow Girl A-ko: "I like the blue dress myself."
Shadow Girl B-ko: [tossing the blue dress aside] "But it doesn't match my lipstick!"
Shadow Girl A-ko: "Well, then I guess I like the red dress."
Shadow Girl B-ko: [tossing the red dress aside too!] "But it doesn't match my shoes! Oh, whatever shall I wear?"
Shadow Girl A-ko: [scratching her head] "Nothing, at the rate you're going."
Shadow Girl B-ko: o.O "Nothing! What a brilliant idea! He'll be absolutely speechless and in awe when he sees me in that!"
Shadow Girl A-ko: [leaning forward] "Who? Your boyfriend?"
Shadow Girl B-ko: ^-^ "Nope. My showerhead!"
[Shadow Girl B-ko facevaults, as Red Queen Kasumi abruptly removes the panties off the Wall of Pain.]
Red Queen Kasumi: "This is what happens when you get desperate."
* * *
In the Nehelenia's mirror world, the Senshi were quickly discovering that everyone existing in there was a scantily-clad woman who wanted to strip them all nekkid and experience Rule 3. No wait...that was Clamp's Mirrorland. And that would be a much more fun scene to have than the Senshi in an epic battle against the convex vixen, Nehelenia! Would anyone reading this object if we just threw Makoto into Miyuki-chan's uniform and had her running through Wonderland with the other Senshi trying to get fanservice with her?
SD Pesti #6: [grrrrr!] "I would, you lech!"
SD Pesti #3: ^-^ "Oro?"
SD Pesti #2: "No, not you. The other lech writing this turkey."
SD Pesti #5: o.O;; [twitch!] "Makoto...fanservice?"
[Cue the geyserous nosebleed!]
SD Pesti #4: --;; [with a mop] "Why do I have to always clean up the messes around here?!"
SD Pesti #1: [sniffle!] "Mako-chan....."
And with the critics in the chibi gallery having spoken something that was utterly incoherent and irrelevant to even the Makoto-chan in Wonderland idea, we might as well Sailor Teleport all you readers through the looking glass. Only to let you see that there ain't much to look at. Yes indeed, the glass is not greener on the other side.
But even still, that didn't mean danger couldn't arise at any given moment. So as the Inner Senshi made their way through a perilous maze of mirrors, they kept up their guards. Havoc-chan though had enough of a problem just trying to keep up her bosoms.
Havoc-chan: [copping a feel off herself] "Masaka! I used to be a C cup, and now I've shrunk to a B cup! I'm devolving!!"
"Shhh!" Jupiter hissed at Havoc-chan. "We may be on Nehelenia's turf, but that doesn't mean we have to announce to her entire dimension where we are. Right, everyone? Ano...."
Upon turning and looking around, Jupiter suddenly discovered that she'd taken one turn around a corner and separated herself from the rest of the group. Alone and potentially in even greater danger, she carefully tried to find an end to the maze. Her paranoia wasn't quelled by the fact that there were dozens of reflections of herself appearing every time she moved.
And it certainly didn't help when one of her reflections started talking to her.
Makoto jumped and looked around. "Who is it?"
"Over here." Her reflection suddenly smiled of its own volition. "Oh no, please don't be scared. I'm you, after all."
Jupiter, as she rightfully should have been, was still wary about talking to strange reflections of herself. "Me?" "Hai," her reflection said with a nod. "I am you...yourself. What am I doing in a soldier outfit? My real self is a pretty girl. My real dream is to live with flowers and cakes."
Jupiter's stern gaze started to waver, and then turn wistful.
"But nobody understands me," her reflection lamented. "If I keep fighting, I'll become farther and farther away from being that pretty girl."
Suddenly Makoto had a strange vision of Pesti-chan going out with someone other than Makoto. She was being rejected yet again, and all because she could put her boyfriend into a full nelson.
The Jupiter reflection giggled, and then was suddenly wearing a rather pretty dress. "Ne, look at this," she said, happily admiring her dress. "Isn't it nice? In fact, I'm such a pretty girl..let's give up, shall we?"
Makoto seemed stunned, but too distracted to strengthen her resolve. "Give...up?"
The Jupiter reflection giggled again. "Let's stop fighting and have a wonderful dream together," she said enticingly, stretching out a beckoning hand to Sailor Jupiter.
Unbeknownst to Jupiter, all the others had managed to get split apart--and each of them were now being tempted by a dark version of their own reflection.
Mercury found a double reflection of herself in one mirror. One was her own true reflection--but behind that reflection was a second Ami, one who draped her arms over the true reflection. "I wonder if I can keep doing this," the reflection sighed. "my dream is to become a doctor, and find a way to remove that faulty dating chromosome from Carrot-chan's DNA. Have you given up your dream nowadays?"
Elsewhere, Minako had one hand pressed against the glass of a mirror, her reflection doing the same. "With such a hard time keeping the peace, nobody praises me," the Minako reflection sighed. "Let's forgive about those shameful people and live for the sake of our dream."
"My...dream?" Minako murmured, stroking the mirror which housed her deceptive reflection.
Sailor Mars was having to contend with a myriad of reflections from different mirrors, all chorusing, "Of course I'm scared! There's no guarantee in defeating the enemy, but this time I might get defeated instead! I want to run away, don't I?"
Mars found herself unsure of whether or not that was the best course of action. "Run...away?"
Sailor Moon, meanwhile, was having to contend with hearing the giggles from all the false reflections. Startled when one of her own reflections moved, she backed up against another mirror. And then to add to her bewilderment, the reflection behind her started to talk.
"Scary, isn't it?"
"Who's there?" Sailor Moon called out.
"I am you," the reflection answered.
Sailor Moon blinked in confusion. "Me?"
The reflection gave a dark smile. "Yes...I know everything about you. Now let's have a dream together. Let's forget about everything and have a wonderful dream...."