The Future of Fanboys: The Fanficfics Begin...!!!
Chaos: "Ohayo, everyone!"
Pesti: "What's all the singing and dancing about? Havoc stuck another Pocket monster down his pants again?"
Mayhem: "Unless for some twisted reason he's celebrating Mako-chan's 50th turndown of his dates?"
Chaos: "Thank you for such wonderful moral support, guys. No, I'm soooo thrilled because we've begun to have our own little cult following!! Look, someone named Famine wrote a tribute to the Fanboys! fanfics, starring us!"
Pesti: "Oh, he wrote a fanficfic."
Chaos: "Excuse me? A what?"
Pesti: "Fanficfic. It's a fanfic of a fanfic. In our case, someone's made a fanfic of the Fanboys! fanfic series."
Chaos: "Should we be flattered or frightened? There is only one Lord Chaos, and I don't want a bunch of Lord of Mass Destruction wanna-be's running around claiming to be me."
Anarchy: "Yeah, just one of you is enough of a pain in the ass as it is."
Chaos: "Anarchy?! What are you doing here?!"
Rampage: "CHU CHU!"
Chaos: "Yes, I see you there too, Rampage. Now would you mind not nibbling on my fingers for the umpteenth time?!"
Anarchy: "Come on, Rampage-chan. We've got to hit the snack bar before we start checking out this fanficfic with the rest of the village idiots."
Pesti: "I sense hostility towards us, Chaos."
Chaos: "Maybe we should try to get through as much of this fanficfic before she comes back."
Mayhem: "Why? Afraid she might tear it apart and make us lose one of our fans?"
Chaos: "No, I'm afraid she'll tear me apart during the fanficfic."
Pesti: "Scroll fanfic!!"
Ola, all who are reading.
This is Famine and I am an underlord in training, training.
Chaos: "Who's this Famine, anyways?"
Pesti: "Oh, he's one of my associate underlords. Unfortunately he wasn't at the Anime party that brought us all to Tokyo."
Mayhem: "Just as well considering what new disorders could have been unleashed on him, like a hideous Sakura Taisen foreign accent?"
Pesti: "Or a Legend Of The Galactic Heroes bad hairstyle?"
Chaos: "Or being a character in Gatchaman?"
Mayhem & Pesti: o_O
Havoc: "What about F3's Hiroe Ogawa's inability to come?"
[Havoc is immediately punted out of the fanficfic]
Chaos & Pesti: "HENTAI!!!"
His lordship Chaos has hurt a very vital part of his body.
Pesti: "His brain?"
Mayhem: "You're implying he had one to hurt in the first place?"
Chaos: "Hush, Newt-boy!"
He has hurt his finger. Since he is out of commission, I Famine have brought it upon myself to write a Fanboys tale. For whenever we are sad, Chaos has a Fanboy that will cheer us right up and so now he is probably regretting the fact that he hurt his finger so this should cheer him up.
Chaos: "That all depends on how flattering it is unto me."
Mayhem: "Chaos really did hurt his finger by the way. Almost cleaved the tip right off with a knife! Five stitches too."
Pesti: "Why'd you say all that?"
Mayhem: "Think about it: we could rake in lots of encouragement chocolates and get-well presents from Anime babes all over!!"
Pesti: "For Chaos?"
Mayhem: "Weeeeell, we're bound to get at least something."
Chaos: "Please, I want to check out this flattering fanficfic."
Mayhem: "In your case, Chaos, most of these Fanboys! fanfics tend to flatten rather than flatter you."
Before this story begins, please let no flash smiting be taken, thank you.
[Cue Havoc bounding across the fanficfic with his latest panty "acquisition"!)
Chaos: "SHIN'NE, HAVOC!!"
[Havoc is smited by a cow that falls from the sky for no apparent reason!]
Pesti: "Chaos! You heard the 'no flash smiting' warning! One more time, and we won't let you read the fanficfic."
Chaos: [doffing kawaii kitty ears & tail] "But he deserved it!"
Mayhem: "Shhh! The title's scrolling this way."
The Screwed-Up Kidnap of Mako-chan
Chaos: "NA NI?! My Mako-chan is kidnapped?!"
Pesti: "*Your* Mako-chan, Chaos?!"
Mayhem: "Yare yare. Famine, I think you should seriously reconsider that 'no flash smiting' policy."
One day, underlord in training, training, Famine was wondering why his overlord in training and friend Pesti-chan was missing. He realised that with nobody around he was quite bored and there was nobody in the area to smite who would be worth smiting.
Pesti: "Suddenly I'm rather glad I joined the party that brought us here."
So he decided to challenge himself (as all underlord in training, training do) He decided to kidnap Mako-chan because Famine knew that if Mako-chan was in trouble, Pesti-chan would come running.
Pesti: "Ah, so my associate Famine's to blame for her kidnapping."
Chaos: "Pesti-chan, unleash the pan-dimensional mallet of Mass Destruction."
Mayhem: "Hey, come on. It's not the end of the fanfics if Mako-chan is briefly detained. Besides, the title implies a screw-up in the kidnapping."
Chaos: "It doesn't matter! He tried to kidnap my Mako-chan!"
Pesti: "*Whose* Mako-chan?!"
Mayhem: "It's going to be a looooong fanficfic."
So Famine went to the library and got out the book: How to Build Vortexes to Inter-Dimensional Anime Worlds With Tools Right in Your Own Home.
Chaos: "Hey! I thought that book was in the restricted access book archives, right next to the Four Gods Sky and Earth book!"
Mayhem: "Resourceful little underlord ,isn't he?"
So with book under arm Famine walked home to build a vortex. No easy job I might add, that book was really heavy to carry.
So in the basement of his house with common tools from around the house like: duct tape, chewing gum, nails, a thirty-two gauge infra-versions transmorgifier (which almost everyone in Bridgenorth has) a saw, a hammer, three watermelons and a partridge in a pear tree, Famine built the vortex. He set the knobs to send the vortex to open up where Mako-chan was and he flicked the switch. Nothing happened.
Chaos & Pesti: "Thank Kami-sama! My Mako-chan is safe! Whaddaya mean your Mako-chan?! She's my Mako-chan!!"
Mayhem: "Where the hell is Anarchy? She said she'd be here to smack Chaos around."
"I knew I shouldn't have used Energizer batteries," said Famine. "Those commercials are false advertising. I am going to have to write a letter to the advertisers for Energizer." So Famine went and wrote this letter completely forgetting about the Vortex to Inter-Dimensional Anime Worlds.
Chaos & Pesti: "Yes! My Mako-chan is safe! Your Mako-chan?!"
Anarchy: "Okay, I'm here. I'm not apologising for being late, but there was an incident involving Rampage and the snack bar."
Mayhem: "She ate the attendant again, didn't she?"
[Rampage-chan burps up a snack bar attendant's hat]
Rampage: ^_^ "CHU CHU!"
Anarchy: "At least I managed to save myself some Junior Mints."
Chaos: "Junior Mints! Can I have some?"
Anarchy: "If you can find them in Rampage's stomach, be my guest."
Chaos: "You're evil, you know that?"
Around three a.m. in the morning, Famine was up in the kitchen making a sleeping potion because he couldn't get to sleep. His insomnia was caused by a feeling in the back of his head that he was forgetting something. Then Famine realised that the feeling was his comb, he forgot to take it out of his hair.
Chaos: "Boy, do I know the feeling! That happened to me twice last week!"
Pesti: "You mean four times."
Chaos: "You're not helping improve my standings with the general public here, guys."
Pesti, Anarchy & Mayhem: "We know."
Just then Famine noticed a glow coming from his basement. He went downstairs and found the Inter-Dimensional yada yada yada was up and running. The cause: a radioactive hamster that just happened to fall into the spot where the batteries were supposed to go.
Mayhem: "What an unbelievable coincidence!"
Chaos: "I'm just curious as to where that radioactive hamster came from."
Anarchy: "Chaos' closet?"
Chaos: "Hey! I'll have you know I do clean my room...sometimes...on occasion."
So realising his luck that this common garden variety hamster fell into the right place at the right time, Famine figured it was his duty to go kidnap Mako-chan.
Chaos & Pesti: "BOO!! BOO!!"
(Booing from the readers is not appreciated)
Pesti: "Dammit, he anticipated that."
So getting some proper clothing on Famine went to the vortex maker (saves writing time) and turned it on. There were lights and sparks and many other wonderful affects. Just then Famine went to the T.V. and turned off an early morning show on special effects. He then walked through the purple glow of the vortex maker and was shot through dimensions, light, speed and time. While he was zooming through different dimensions he noticed Jodie Foster from Contact zooming around in an interdimensional tube of her own, and to his right he noticed the cast from Sliders zooming to another parallel Earth.
Mayhem: "I'd hate to see that thing jammed up in rush hour."
Chaos: "I'm starting to think these transdimensional portals are getting way too easily accessible these days."
Finally he came to a stop and heard a soft chime that said: "Thank you for riding Inter-Dimensional Vortex. May your stay be pleasant and we hope that we will see you soon."
Chaos & Mayhem: "What a rip off! When we were sent to Animeland all I woke up with was a hang-over!"
Famine found himself outside of a high school and there inside, on the other side of a window were Mako-chan and Ami-chan talking together. Famine snuck quietly into the school and was getting ready to go nab Mako-chan, hit the Return to Your Home Dimension Button on his watch and take Mako-chan back to his dimension to hold her hostage till Pest-chan arrived when disaster struck.
Chaos: "Mako-chan is saved! Sugoi sugoi sugoi sugoi!!!!"
Anarchy: "Yes, but at what cost to Chaos?"
Chaos: "Na ni?"
Anarchy: [grin!] "Oh, nothing."
(The author Famine has nothing against any Sailor Senshi or Fanboys and likes them both except it gives the character Famine a purpose to do something stupid like this)
Mayhem: "Don't feel bad, Famine, Chaos does stupid things without ever trying to have a purpose."
Chaos: "Hush, Newt-boy!!"
Just as Famine jumped through the air to grab Mako-chan, a blur came rushing by. All that you could make out on this blur were to meatball looking things at the top of her head and two long clumps of blonde hair go zinging by. This blur knocked the books out of Ami's and Mako's hands and they had to bend over to pick their books up. Just as the two girls were bending over, Mayhem, Chaos and Pesti-chan appeared with huge eyes and were starring in a brainwashed state at their loves' butts that were right in front of them.
Chaos: "I do not stare at Mako-chan's butt!"
Mayhem: "Hai! He usually just tries to grope it...or her breasts."
[Chaos brandishes a pail of cold water]
Well, unluckily for Famine, (who doesn't believe in luck and just thought that it was incredibly bad timing) went over Mako-chan and tackled Chaos. Chaos was snapped out of his state and his arms went flailing. His hand went and touched the Return to Your Home Dimension Button on Famine's watch, and Chaos and Famine were zapped back to Famine's home dimension of reality.
Chaos: "I WHAT?!"
Mayhem: "Uh-oh. Here he goes ranting again."
Chaos: "That's it! Screw Famine's 'no flash smiting' policy!! The little underlord will find himself in a flood of falling cows when I'm through with him!! Where's my umbrella?!"
Pesti: "He's gone berserk! Somebody hold him down!"
Chaos: "I will not be deprived of my Anime or my Mako-chan! I'll smite him so hard he'll have Oscar's grammar!! DIE, FAMINE!!"
[Chaos is smited by Anarchy's AT Field.]
Anarchy: "Sit down, shut up, and let Rampage suck on your leg, okay?"
Chaos: "KYAAAAAA!!! SHE'S SHREDDING MY PANTS!!!!!"
[Pesti-chan clocks Chaos with a pan-dimensional mallet]
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