Mayhem: "Yare Yare. I thought we'd never get back to the fanficfic."
Ami, Mako, Mayhem and Pesti-chan didn't notice Famine tackling Chaos and the two of them just poofing out of there because the four of them were all too preoccupied. Then when the books were collected the four noticed Chaos gone but figured he went after the Lake God (again for the fourth time that day) and they went to their class.
Chaos: [sulking] "I do not try to steal Beans' lake god four times a day."
Pesti: "Hai. It's been a slow day if you try that stunt *only* four times a day."
Anarchy: "You guys really need to get a life."
Chaos and Famine went through the dimensional vortex and were thrown out of the vortex onto Famine's basement floor.
"Na ni?" was all that could come out of Chaos' mouth.
"Shimatta," was all that came out of Famine's mouth. "I nimmed the wrong character."
Mayhem: "Just how exactly does one 'nim' someone else?"
Anarchy: [snaps fingers] "Like this."
[Cue the ninjas who suddenly appear and carry off a frantic SD fanboy Chaos!]
Mayhem: "I don't think we'll be seeing him anytime soon."
Pesti: "Well, I guess I'll just have to console Mako-chan about his loss."
The two characters sat on the floor and were starring at each other when
Chaos had the nerve to say something first. "Who the hell are you and where am I. Either you tell me those to answers in a matter of seconds or I will smite you with a whole herd of cows cause nobody interrupts me from looking at Mako-chan's butt!!"
"Cows?? Mako-chans butt?? Uh oh, I just kidnapped my overlord Chaos. Please forgive me."
"How do you know me and who are you?"
"Why Chaos, its me Famine... you know, the guy who is friends with Pesti-chan and sends you those e-mails now and again."
Anarchy: "Insert the Famine profile here."
Pesti: "Well, he had to throw it in somewhere."
"Oh so that is who you are. I thank you for telling me and it is a pleasure to finally meet you. Now tell me what the hell I am doing here!!!"
"Well its a long story Chaos but to quickly sum it up: I wanted to kidnap Mako-chan to get Pesti-chan to come and get her so I can talk to Pesti-chan"
"You wanted to kidnap my Mako-chan?!"
Pesti: "Well, he's got Chaos' character down perfectly."
Mayhem: "Except by this point Chaos would all be in super deformed mode right now."
Anarchy: "Who here *wants* to see Chaos in SD mode right here?"
[Cue the silence and the wind's "Hwooooo!" hiragana]
Chaos held up his fingers and snapped them. No cows came to smite Famine. Chaos had a puzzled look on his face.
Famine quickly explained, "You are in reality right now and you can't use your smiting techniques or any other powers you have. At least on the plus side, you can't turn into Sailor Haley right now"
Chaos remembered his feminine fighting style and was pissed off that he lost it because he liked the little getup that he wore.
Anarchy: "Oh well. Maybe he can hitch a ride with Priscilla, Queen of the Desert."
Chaos pulled out a pan-dimensional mallet and whacked Famine with it. This surprised Famine. Not because this was reality and nothing like that can ever happen but because the author of this story is the real Famine and why the real Famine would let his character be hit by a mallet is beyond himself.
Mayhem: "Lord Chaos seems to do it to himself in the fanfics all the time."
Pesti: "That masochistic pervert."
"Famine, it is a pleasure to meet you but right now you better send me back because with luck Mako-chan is still bending over and I can get a few more good looks in."
"Okay Chaos, you're the overlord."
So Famine went to turn on the machine and it blew up. Famine and Chaos stared at the pile of rubble on the floor and realised that the machine might not work quite right. Famine began wondering why the vortex maker blew up when he found a warning label on one of the pieces of metal. It read:
"WARNING...DO NOT USE RADIOACTIVE HAMSTERS FOR A SOURCE OF POWER. WILL CAUSE INTER-DIMENSIONAL VORTEX MAKER TO BLOW UP...
Anarchy: "You know, I'm really starting to like this fanficfic a lot!"
Pesti: "I do think Chaos comes back to our realm, though."
Anarchy: "Damn. So much for my viewing pleasure."
ALSO, NEVER EVER SPIT INTO THE WIND OR PEE OFF A CLIFF. THAT WOULD MAKE A REAL MESS IF IT HIT SOMEBODY ELSE"
Mayhem: "Now there was something we really didn't need to hear. That's just common sense not to piss into the winds or off a cliff. The real warning is for people not to eat the large white mints in the urinals."
Anarchy: "Are you trying to make me lose my appetite on purpose?"
[Cue the fierce, evil battle aura of Anarchy!]
Mayhem & Pesti: "Kowaii!!"
"No problem Chaos, I can build another one, just give me a little while and we will send you back." Famine then looked for the library book and found that it was missing. "This can't be good." Then Famine called to his younger sister Drought and asked her if she has seen it. Her reply caused Chaos to pass out and Famine to go bright red. Drought took the library book back, on time and now the library was closed for the weekend.
When Chaos awoke to hear the news his exact words were:
(give him time to breathe)
Anarchy: "Why would we do something as gracious as that?"
Pesti: "Well, he is my overlord sensai."
Anarchy: "Hey, I can teach you to be a Lord of Mass Destruction."
Mayhem: "Yeah, watch her demonstrate how to cause the Third Impact."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Well, Famine, let us go break into the library and get the book back."
"That is going to be a problem because our library is guarded by some dogs who live in the library and you probably haven't heard but there have been a lot of animal attacks in the world in the past couple of weeks and I just don't want to take that chance. Just stay the weekend here with me and when it open up on Monday, we will just go get out the book and rebuild the vortex maker."
Chaos facevaulted. "All right Famine, I'll stay here until Monday. But I might go delirious with the thought of Pesti-chan, all alone, with Mako-chan, in a place where I can't get them and then Pesti-chan will get her and then I will be forced to, to, to...um, line!"
Pesti: "Get a new girlfriend?"
Anarchy: "Get a life?"
Mayhem: "Get a Sailor Senshi who's too young for you to date and also winds up having a crush on you, and then threatens to destroy the world if you doesn't take her out on a date?"
Anarchy: "And just where the hell did that come from, Mayhem?"
Mayhem: [shrug] "I know what the author's doing for the F5! And F6! fanfics."
"Kill him and eat his parrot?" Famine suggested.
[Rampage burps up a bunch of feathers.]
Rampage: ^_^ "CHU CHU!"
Mayhem: "Looks like Rampage beat Famine to that one."
[Cue Lord Chaos who crashes through the ceiling and topples back into his seat, all tied up and having numerous throwing stars stuck in his hair]
Chaos: "Did I miss anything?"
Pesti: "Only you being stuck in reality for a weekend while I became Mako-chan's official boyfriend."
Mayhem: "He's joking, you know."
Anarchy: "Why'd you tell him that?"
Mayhem: "He'd be screaming for the next page and we'd never be able to finish reading this fanficfic."
"Yea that's it Famine, I'll kill him and eat his parrot. Now really quickly, who says something like that??"
"Well its something I say quite frequently when uttering death threats to people at my school who think I'm so weird, but one day, they will be sorry for I will get the ultimate revenge. I will master the power of smite and I will smite them again and again with flocks of fuscia lawn flamingos. Bwah hah hah ha, ah ha, ha."
Chaos: "So you're the one!!"
Mayhem: "And all this time we just thought it was Sailor Star Polaris."
Anarchy: "Way to go, Chaos! You just seem to make everyone want to abuse you!"
"Okay then Famine, settle down. Now be a good host, will you and bring me a glass of hard lemonade"
"Chaos, we don't drink hard lemonade in this house. Also, I don't like the idea of drinking alcoholic substances. I just drink iced tea"
Again Chaos fainted because who in their right mind would give up hard lemonades for "iced tea". Luckily Chaos hit his head on the ground and he didn't wake up till Monday where he found Famine building the vortex maker with the library book in front of him and a pack of Duracel batteries beside him.
"I'm not going to make the same mistake twice" said Famine. So since I, the author, should be getting off the computer and doing something practical I will quickly skip talking about Famine rebuilding the vortex maker and sending Chaos through it. But here is the ending:
Chaos: [Imitation Ah-nuld voice!] "I said I'd be back."
Chaos went shooting through the interdimensional anime vortex and then he was shot out the other end of the vortex and landed on Mako-chan's lap.
Mayhem: "Even in other people's fanfics you somehow seem to wind up groping Mako-chan every time! Now that's impressive!"
[Pesti-chan pulls out his mallet]
Pesti: "Because I'm a sporting fanboy, Chaos, I'll give you a three second head-start. Now run."
Chaos: "But I'm still tied up!"
Anarchy: "Allow me to help, Chaos."
[Chaos is punted through the ceiling yet again, only to strike a Gundam Mecha unit doing a cameo flyby.]
Mako-chan promptly hit Chaos into orbit and walked away with Ami and the rest of the Senshi following. Chaos then came back down and pulled himself out of the crater that he made.
"It's good to have you back Chaos," Pesti-chan said.
Pesti: "What's so good about it? Now I've got to make sure my Mako-chan's protected from his groping sessions!"
Anarchy: "Look at it this way: you get all the practice smiting you want."
"It's good to be back my little overlord in training." Chaos then licked his thumb and middle finger and with a snap sent a cow to hit Famine just to show him that he is back where he should be.
[Cue Chaos' disembodied voice!]
Chaos: "Ha ha! I showed you, Famine!"
The story is now over and you can go on with your daily lives. Pesti-chan, see you tomorrow and Chaos, hopefully your finger is almost healed and Fanboys will continue. Until it is healed though. Stay off your feet, we want you to have that finger in full typing order.
Pesti: "So, that was our first tribute to the Fanboys! fanfic series, ne?"
Mayhem: "I guess so. You know, this Famine guy's a lot like our own author.
Just give him a really kick-ass Anime background knowledge, and we've got a
Anarchy: "Great, that's my ambition in life: to be stuck in numerous
fanficfics with you guys."
Chaos: [sulking] "I still don't see why I had to be the one who got
kidnapped by mistake. I feel so abused now, I don't know what I can do to
make me feel happier."
Pesti: "If you cop a feel from my Mako-chan...!"
[Cue Havoc bounding across the screen with Ayeka's bra!]
Ayeka: "You pervert, you! Give me that back right now!"
Havoc: "It's Hentenno-sama to you, princess!! Ha ha!"
[Chaos transforms into Sailor Haley]
Chaos: [cracking his knuckles] "It would appear I now have a Comet Cleaner
Scrub attack with Havoc's name on it. Excuse me please."
[Cue the ensuing Fanboys! melee of mass destruction!!]
Mayhem: [wince!] "Aya. He really shouldn't have turned into a girl for
Pesti: "Do you think he'll ever get that fuku back?"
Anarchy: "I'm still twice the woman he is."
Mayhem: "Good enough for me; I'm not going to debate that issue."
Chaos: "GIVE ME BACK MY FUKU, YOU PERVERT!!! I AM NOT ABOUT TO END THIS
FANFICFIC RUNNING AROUND NAKED LIKE THIS!!"
Havoc: "Ha ha!! Too late, Sailor Dragqueen! Cue the ending!"
[End of the fanficfic]
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