Pesti: "He got to see her naked again! Shin'ne, Chaos!"
--the entire group of fanboys & Sailor Senshi managed to arrive just in time at the arena for the Magical Girl beauty pagent thanks to the Cat Girl Nuku Nuku courier taxi service. However while breaking Mach 4 along the roadways, Chaos was sucked out by the exhaust stream and nearly died had it not been for the fortunate coincidence that Dr. Blakjack was near the scene.
[Fanboy's Note: yes, I see all of you out there cheering on Chaos' near demise. Shame on you!]
But since that's completely irrelevent to the plot we're going to speak of it never again!
"Impressive," Mayhem remarked, looking around the crowded foyer with the banner proudly stating WELCOME MAGICAL GIRLS!!. "Look at everyone: Birdy the Mighty, Pretty Sammy--"
Chaos: "Dammit. Why did she have to show up?"
Mayhem: "Hello, Cutey Honey...HELLO GAINAX BOUNCE!"
Pesti: "Sugoi! The Hyper Dolls, Devil Hunter Yohko, the gang from Moldiver."
Mayhem: "The Wedding Peach trio--"
Pesti: o_O "Who?!"
Mayhem: "Better you don't ask. Let's say they have to get into bridal gowns before transforming into magic girls with dumb fruit attacks."
Pesti: "Is it just me, or do some of these girls seem to be not quite of the magical girl genre?"
Anarchy: "The author had to have so many cameos for the readers to keep paying attention."
Pesti: "There's Creamy Mami, and...hoboy. Nurse Angel Ririka."
Chaos: "Ririka's here?! Oh man, now we really do have a reason to give out an SOS!"
Suddenly an enormous crowd of magical girl contestants raced past the group, screaming and fleeing as the one and only original Carrot Glaces chased after them shouting, "Dato dato dato dato dato!!!"
[Fanboy's Note: Carrot's "dato" is our equivelant for the word date. Now please note how women are fleeing in terror at this.]
Hot on the heels of Carrot were the S&M Queens of fantasy and tight leather, Chocolate and Tira, who bradished their whips while jeaously shouting at Carrot: "Darling is chasing after other women! Darling must pay!"
Pesti-chan nudged Mayhem. "Um, what are the Misu sisters doing here?"
Anarchy shrugged. "They do transform and you can't tell those two whip-happy ladies from their younger versions. I'd say that qualifies."
"What is that damned rodent on that girl's shoulder?" Tasuki asked, pointing over at the magical girl St. Tail.
"Looks like some kind of furry, kawaii mascot in a black bowtie," Anarchy remarked. "Ne, has anyone seen where Rampage bounded off to?"
Pesti-chan sighed. "No good can come of this." He glanced over at the foyer and abruptly froze. "Um, Mayhem, Nurse Angel Ririka and Galaxy Fraulein Yuna are waving at us."
"So wave back."
"I think they want our phone numbers."
Mayhem sighed, punching his sweatdrop across the room and accidentally drenching the Combustible Campus Guardress. "Ah, young love. Just our luck that the girls who do find us really sexy at first sight are too damned young...and too sickeningly cute."
"Mayhem!" came Usagi's cheerful voice. And then the odango-haired blonde came bounding through the crowd. "Ohayo again! We're all registered now."
"Hai!" Minako added. "Here are your VIP tickets! You can visit us backstage during the intermission, and you get front rows seats too."
"Fancy meeting you here, odango-kun," came a familiar voice.
"Seiya-kun!" Makoto exclaimed. "What are the Three Lights doing here?"
And indeed there they were, the three gender bending Sailor Soldiers from beyond this system and series appearing in their male idol singer personas.
Pesti-chan shook his head, flipping back through his Hitoshi Doi Coles notes. "What the hey?! Ne, Mayhem, why are the Sailor Starlights here in a fanfic taking place in the Super S series?"
[Fanboy's Note: pay no attention to another flaw in the plot continuity. Hey you! Yes, you know who you are! Stop paying attention...not to the fanfic, you idiot! ARRRGH!!! ]
"We're doing a special performance during the intermission," Yaten sighed. "It's the job of an idol singer."
"Quite," Taiki agreed, adjusting his glasses. "You here for the competition?"
Usagi and the others nodded enthusaistically.
"KYAAA!!" came the screams of a female Chaos and Carrot. Suddenly he leaped into the middle of the group, cowering behind Pesti-chan. "Hide us!"
Seconds later Chocolate and Tira ran past the group, brandishing their whips. "Darling went this way!" they chorused, cackling and bounding across the foyer.
Carrot and Chaos reappeared, sighing in relief.
"Arigato!" Carrot said, hugging Chaos. "Wanna go out on a date?"
Chaos immediately booted Carrot into the nearest fountain. "I swear even going to get registered is becoming a cursed event," he exclaimed.
Yaten gave Chaos a curious look. "You're in the Magical Girl competition too?"
Chaos nodded. "You're lookin' at Sailor Haley."
"Strange," Seiya remarked. "I can't help but think we somehow share something in common together, Haley."
Anarchy ribbed Mayhem. "Think we should tell Taiki about Chaos' crack on his Star Gentle Uterus attack?"
Chaos glared at the snickering Anarchy, Mayhem & Pesti-chan. "Hush!" He turned to the Senshi. "Come on, girls, we have a show to do!"
And with that, he strutted off in his high heels and tight Chinese dress.
Anarchy shook her head. "I wish I could say he worried me, but fact is I've been around him too much to know that this is normal for him."
"Hai," Mako-chan and Pesti-chan sighed.
Moving right along, Chaos & the Senshi got registered and prepared for the evening gala event while Mayhem, Pesti-chan, Anarchy & Tasuki spent the afternoon shopping.
"Isn't this great?" Chaos sighed in the changeroom. "You and me, Mako-chan, and nothing else to get in the way?"
His eyebrow developed another twitch, accompanied by the usual sweatdrop, as he noticed all the Sailor Senshi girls were making sure the change in some place just a little more private.
"Hey come on!" Chaos exclaimed. "Just because I've got a Ranma 1/2 thing going doesn't mean we can't see each other naked!"
[Cue the dead silence as all the other magical girls stare at him. Cue the sweatdrops too!]
"Aw, go pleat your skirts!" he said, waving their looks aside. "It's not like I'm a guy right now or anything."
"Not from where I'm standing," Makoto replied, emerging from the private change rooms. "You get fresh with me in either form and I'll make sure you wind up back as a guy when you're in your bikini."
Chaos rolled his eyes. "Hai hai." He sat back in his chair, stretching. "I just hope Havoc doesn't show up to spoil things."
"When you say something like that," Rei stated, emerging in her swimsuit to see how it looked. "you're just asking for him to appear."
Ami-chan tentatively inched her way out into the open, showcasing her kawaii swimsuit. And the valiant Lord Chaos managed to refrain from taking pictures to sell to Mayhem later on for a really high price.
"Um, will the others be there?" she asked.
"Hai!" Card Captor Sakura asked. "What about your other friends, Haley?"
"Ah, Kamui-chan's so cuuuuute!" Devil Hunter Yohko exclaimed dreamily.
"And what about that Carrot Glaces?" Angel Daisy (from the Wedding Peach magical girl team) added. "Ah, I wish they were our Tuxedo Kamens!"
Almost all the girls in the room sighed wishfully. Chaos' eyebrow twitched. And he surely would have asked about the more than undoubtedly sexy & handsome Duo Maxwell had he not been female at the time of registering.
The time for the first annual Magical Girl Beauty Pagent was at hand, and a very thrilled audience was taking their seats. To where, we're not sure, though I'm certain it's illegal to take one's seat in such a fashion.
Mayhem leaned back in his plush chair. "Boy, when they say VIP treatment tickets, they really mean it."
"More than that!" Pesti-chan excitedly added. "We've got backstage passes. I can go see Mako-chan while the Three Lights do their intermission segway."
Anarchy and Tasuki took their own seats, Anarchy holding a squirming and hooting Rampage-chan. "Boy, she seems excited about something," Tasuki remarked.
"She can smell all the other mascots here that she's missed eating in the past," Anarchy replied. "Should I unleash her?"
Suddenly the lights dimmed, and on the front runway stage a big spotlight appeared to reveal the hosts for the evening.
"Shinobu Tezuka and Mitsuru Ikeda?!" Pesti-chan remarked. "What are they doing away from Greenwood?"
"Obviously running some kind of betting scheme to make more money," Mayhem replied. He glanced around the auditorium. "My, aren't the ladies cheering them on."
Sure enough, nearly all the young ladies in the entire audience were screaming Mitsuru and Shinobu's names while brandishing their official fanclub pins.
Pesti-chan ducked down into his seat. "I suddenly fear if Nagisa should show up here."
Shinobu, with his eternal poker grin and telltale purple-tinted hair, greeted the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, we of Greenwood are proud to be your hosts for tonight's Magical Girl beaty pagent."
Mitsuru gestured the runway and stage as the large curtains were drawn back. "And here are the Magical Girls!"
Cheers almost defeaning enough to tear this very page in half were lifted to the rafters. Pesti-chan found himself shaking right into his own sweatdrop while Anarchy tried to balance her soft drinks.
Then came the magical girls onto the stage, one after the other, all in their every-day fashion outfit of their choice, waving and blowing kisses to the crowd.
"See Chaos yet?" Pesti-chan asked.
Anarchy nodded. "Third girl in the back row. My, and doesn't he look cute as a crossdresser."
"I would hardly call what he does cross-dressing," Mayhem said.
"Hey!" Tasuki exclaimed. "That Chocolate Misu is so damned cute!"
He was smacked upside the back of the head by Anarchy. "Darling," she stated. "I'm the only one who gets to whip you into submission."
Usagi, the central magicl girl, stepped forward. "Minna-san," she shouted. "Henshin yo!"
[Fanboy's Note: basically it means "everybody, let's transform!" And thus ends the educational portion. Now onto gratuitous cute girls and tight bodywear flashes!]
A large, booming musical score that sent Rampage hurling into Mitsuru's arms sounded off as all the magical girls called out their special powers and disappeared in a swarm of flashing colours.
Mitsuru: "Na ni?"
Rampage: [happily!] "CHU CHU!"
Shinobu: ^-^ "Looks like you've got another fan, Mitsuru."
Mitsuru then offered Rampage the chance to speak into the microphone. And with this chance Rampage ate the mike, giving off a kawaii little BUUUURRRPPP!!!! which had incredible reverb qualities.
"Strange little super deformed Godzilla-thingy," Shinobu remarked. Aside to Mitsuru he added, "We should place our bets on this one winning for most kawaii mascot."
And with that, the magical girls took to the stage, each one stepping forward, striking a pose (or tumbling onto the floor Usagi-style) and then shouting out their name and some cute little slogan.
Everyone "ooooh!"ed and "awwwww!"ed.
Mayhem: "I'd like to take this time in the fanfic to thank God for leotards."
Pesti: "Echi. What's so impressive about a bunch of girls in tight clothing?"
Anarchy: "Oh look, there's Makoto and the other Senshi."
Pesti-chan's eyes widened at the sight of Mako-chan in her own set of tight clothing. Then he looked up at the ceiling. "Thank you!"
Chaos finally got to take the stage.
"This should prove interesting," Anarchy remarked.
Chaos cleared his--er, her throat. "[Ahem!] I am Sailor Haley, and I have no idea what to say next!" All the other magical girls facevaulted as a cow suddenly dropped from the skies and smited Lord Chaos.
Pesti-chan smacked his forehead. "Baka." Rampage abruptly bounded back into his arms again, purring contenedly. "And what trouble have you been getting into?" he asked their carnivorous mascot.
Right after Chaos came the oh so kawaii magical girl thief to catch a thief, St. Tail. St. Tail beamed to the crowed and waved, getting a lot of rave reviews by the judges who bore an interesting resemblance to the entire cast of Magic Knights Rayearth.
"Aya!" Saint Tail suddenly exclaimed. "Where did my kawaii little Ruby-chan mascot go to?"
Mayhem, Anarchy and Pesti-chan all turned to Rampage, who contentedly burped up a little black bowtie.
"The SPCAM's going to have a field day with this," Mayhem sighed.
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