Protecting Sailor Moon From The Scum Of The Fanfics...
(Oh, the irony of it all!!!)
[Enter the Fanboys! marching down the page]
Chaos: "We are the second-best kept secret in the Anime universe."
Mayhem: "Our mission is to monitor incoming Sailor Moon fanfics that are really bad or else really bad and self-gratifying."
Pesti: "We are not quite your best, last and only line of defense. However, if you're really desperate-"
Pesti: "Wouldn't it just be better if we let the crazed killer who knows what they did last fanfic have a literal crack at these guys?"
Chaos: [pulls out CiB, or Cow in Black] "Nah, This is more fun!"
Mayhem: "Um, guys, our opening lines? You're killing the kick-ass intro. I've been setting up here."
Chaos & Pesti: "Gomen nasai!"
Mayhem: [ahem!] "We work in secret."
Pesti: "We exist in shadow."
Chaos: "And for this Omake Special, we dress in black."
Mayhem: "We're 'them'. We're 'they'. We are: Fanboys In Black."
Chaos: [whining!] "Mayheeeeem! I wanted to say that line!!"
Mayhem: "Well I already said it so there's no use giving me those kawaii kitty ears n' tail now. If you say it again, all the suspense is lost. Okay, do we have everything? Black suits?"
[The Fanboys don their stylish black suits!]
Pesti: "Ray Ban shades?"
[The Fanboys put on their Ray Ban shades!]
Mayhem: "Clean underwear?"
[The Fanboys check their pants!]
Chaos: "Hai!...NA NI?!"
Mayhem: "You can never be too careful in these fics, Chaos. Okay, I have the Anime Neuralizer."
Chaos: "Why can't I have one of those?"
Pesti: "Chaos, the last time you flashed yourself in the face and thought you were the real Duo Maxwell for the rest of the MSTfic."
Chaos: "That was an isolated incident! I swear!"
Mayhem: "Yeah, right. Okay, weaponry! Pesti-chan, you've got your Zoantrophy. I've got my Dark Schneider transformation. That just leaves Chaos."
Chaos: "Ooh! Ooh! What weapon of Mass Destruction do I get?"
[Mayhem hands Chaos a tiny tiny fish]
Mayhem: "Here you go, Chaos: the Noisy Herring."
[An unimpressed Chaos stares down at the herring.]
Chaos: "What the hell?! You guys get all the hightech implements of Mass Destruction, and all I get is this? All I can do is slap someone silly with it!"
Mayhem & Pesti: "Exactly."
Chaos: [sulking] "This MSTfic is so unfair."
Pesti: "That's debatable, Mayhem."
Mayhem: [sigh!] "Hai hai!"
[Mayhem produces the remote control of the gods!]
Mayhem: "Fanboys, prepare yourselves for the MSTfic of Flashman's Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla."
Chaos: "Didn't the Megane 6.7 guys already beat us to an MST of that?"
Pesti: "Some fanfics deserve to get smited more than once, Chaos. But do you think we could top Tom, Crow and Joel with our MSTfic?"
Mayhem: "Well if you two want to let Makoto get slandered like this..!"
Chaos & Pesti: "Faster, dammit! Push the button faster!!!"
A "Curse Of The Fanboys!!!" MSTfic:
[Fanboy's Note: what we have here is, in my always humble and always right opinion dammit!, is something just so perfect an opportunity. Anything related to the MiB realm belongs to its creators and producers; I just modified it for myself. However the author and creator of the Fanboys! disavows having ever conceived or written this particular fanfic. All blame can go to Flashman. This entire fanfic belongs under his legacy (heaven help us all). But there will be an obvious time when it veers away from what Flashman had originally intended (which is in itself a rather frightening thing), and from then on it becomes MINE!!!! ALL MINE!!!! MWAH HAH HA HAH HAH HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!]
**Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla, written by Flashman**
SAILOR JUPITER V.S. GODZILLA
THE BIGGER THEY ARE....
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Hi! Flashman here to bring you the mismatch of the century. We're talkin' MAJOR mismatch here. First of all, I will be using the new Godzilla timeline to tell this story. (Godzilla 85 to Godzilla V.S. Detroyer) One word of warning if your not a Sailor Jupiter fan, like my first FanFic "Personality Split" none of the other Sailors will be here. This story will have Mako and Mako alone. Don't worry though, I haven't forgotten the rest of you. In fact I promise I will write a story for each one of the Sailor Scouts (with the exception of the Outer Scouts, with the exception there being Sailor Pluto). I'm thinking of conecting them very loosely under the Banner of "Solo Sailors". If you have any suggestions for those solo stories, any comments on stuff I've got posted already, (Thanks Artimis and Luna), any complaints, please, Please, PLEASE, E-Mail me at MXJK67C@Prodigy.com. Legal things: Godzilla is the trademark of Toho Studios. Sailor Jupiter is the property of Naoko Takeuchi.On With The Show!!!
(As our story opens we see the city of Tokyo. Suddenly, the loud, whinning, unmistakable sound of an evacuation siren goes off. Also we can hear someone over some kind of P.A. system saying.....)
VOICE: Evacuate imediatly! Godzilla has been sighted in the Tokyo Bay area and is moving towards the city! Evacuate in a clam and orderly fashion! Do not panic!
(Naturaly, everybody IS panicing. People grab bags, fill cardboard boxes with momentos they can't part with, grab children by the arms, and run, get on trains, planes, and automobiles, and generaly do whatever it takes to get out of the city before the giant bohemoth arives.)
(However, the scean focuses on an apartment complex and one apartment in particular. In this apartment we see a tall, green eyed, brown ponytailed, girl. Her name is MAKOTO. At this time she is furiously packing bags and mutttering words under her breath which are not fit for print.....)
Makoto:(VERY angrily)[Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable] monster, [Unprintable] [Unprintable] [Unprintable], why'd it have to comehere?!?
(Mako finishes packing and grabs her bags. Two duffle bags on each arm, a suitcase in each hand, another duffle bag around her neck, and another clenched firmly in her teeth.)
Makoto:(Thinking) I would much prefer to fight this thing than run away, but Luna says that, "To destroy Godzilla would take more energy than it did to destroy Queen Metallia... and you know how much THAT took." I sure do Luna, it's a moot point anyway since Usagis father decided that they should leave
a week earlier. I guess his parinoia paid off for a change.
(Makoto rushes out the door with her bags whipping in all directions. As she reaches the street she sees a large contingiant of tanks, jeeps, vehicles with large devices that look like satalite dishes on top [Mazer Tanks], jet planes, and all sorts of military hardware moving to face Godzilla. Loud explosions can be heard comming from the Bay area.)
Makoto:(Thinking) Good luck you guys, you're going to need it.
(Now we see GODZILLA himself. He is swiming in the bay, approching the city rapidly. He is not unopposed though, the Japanese navy is dumping everything they've got at him. The ships and helicopters are firing shells, rockets, torpedos, and bullets. They all explode against Godzilla's reptilian skin,
causing absolutly no damage. He roars in anger at the foolish little mites who think they can hurt him. He rears back his head and then shoots it forward releasing his patented burst of blue flame. Everything in its path is obliterated and Godzilla roars in triumph as he continues his march toTokyo.)
Solider1:(Watching from nearby and putting down a pair of binoculars as he turns toward his friend, SOLIDER2) Did you see THAT?!?
Solider2:(Nods nervously) Yeah.Solider1: Afraid?
Solider2:(Laughs nervously) Terrified.
Solider1:(Pats a Sailor Moon braclet on his right wrist.) Don't be. You forget we have the Sailor Scouts on our side.
Solider2: I never thought that you'd believe in THAT myth.
Solider1: I tell ya they're real.
Solider2: Man, if they were, do you think they would be able to go anywhere without getting mobbed. I mean there all babes, especialy Sailor Jupiter.
Voice of a General:(Yelling) YOU TWO! BACK TO YOUR REGIMENTS! BE PREPAIRED TO MOVE TO POSSITION DELTA!
Both Soliders: Yes Sir!
(Back to Makoto. We now see her running through the streets. It's quite obvious that she's lost.)
Mako:(Thinking and looking left) Maybe it's this way. (Looking right) ...or maybe that way. (Looking forward) Oh, I'm never going to find my way out of the city to the evacuation center.
(Loud, rythmic booming sounds, like footsteps, along with screaming is heard. Makoto looks in the direction of the sounds and her eyes go wide. She gets a first-person view of the King Of The Monsters crashing through the streets. She also sees that Godzilla is about to step on a bunch of frightened children who are hidding under a large cardboard box.)
Mako:(Thinking) Oh My GOD! I've got to do something. (Shouting) MUPHEPER FAR FOUMER! MAFE PUP! (Spits the duffle bag strap out of her mouth and drops all of her other bags.) Lets try that again. JUPITER STAR POWER! MAKE UP! (Makoto transforms into SAILOR JUPITER. The symbol on her transfomation pen spins and she is surrounded by lightning. Then the lightning bends over her body and turns into a sailor uniform with a green dress and a large green bow on her chest.)
Sailor Jupiter:(Jumps onto a nearby roof and aims at Godzilla) SUPREMETHUNDER!!!
(A lightning rod pops out of her tiara and a large bolt of lightning comes down from the sky. The lightning connects with the rod and Jupiter directs it through her body and at Godzilla. The lightning hits Godzilla and he turns toward Jupiter in anger at the little creature who actually thinks that it can hurt him.)
Jupiter: Come on Big Boy, follow me! SPARKLING WIDE PRESSURE!!!
(A concentrated ball of electricity forms in Jupiters hands and she flings it at Godzilla. Godzilla raises a hand to block the ball and it explodes against his outstretched palm. He roars in pain as the blow actually
succedes in stinging him. Naturaly, Jupiter has no problem getting Godzilla to follow her now. Just to make sure she periodically fires bursts of lightning at him as she leaps from roof to roof.)
Jupiter:(Her confidence growing) Hey, I might be able to beat this guy after all. You know what they say, "The bigger they are...."
(Godzilla's back spikes begin to glow. He opens his mouth and lets out a large stream of blue fire. The fire obliterates the roof, along with the rest of the building, Jupiter is on and she gracefully leaps [o.k., o.k. she
actualy gets blown head over heals] off the roof and lands face first in a pile of rubble on the street.)
Jupiter:(Grogily)".....the more stuff they break."
(Jupiter looks up and wipes away blood that drips from a small gash on her forehead. She sees that even though the attack started only about an hour ago, Godzilla has already decimated a good portion of the city. The landscape in front of her is a mural of collapsed and burning buildings. She hears Godzilla's ear spliting roar and flips over on her back and looks up. She sees Godzilla is about to step on her.)
Jupiter:(Cringing) Oh Man! What a lousy way to go!
(Just as Godzilla is about to put his foot down, jet fighters shoot a volly of missles at him and hit him square in the back. The force of the blast sends Godzilla a few crucial inches forward and his foot misses Jupiter by
mear inches. Her body flops out from the wind blast, but for some reason she doesn't go flying off.)
Jupiter: That was too close. (Trys to get up.) Hey, what's going on? I can't get up.
(Meanwhile, the military has arived and is firing everything it's got at an angry Godzilla. Tanks fire their shells, soliders fire bazookas, Mazer Tanks fire their blue energy beams. More squadrons of jets arive and fire their missles. A soilder runs over and we see that it's Solider2 from before.)
Solider2:(Kneels next to Jupiter) Are you alright?
Jupiter: Yeah, but I can't move.
Solider2: Why not?
Jupiter:(Face flushed with embaresment) Godzilla's... uh... he's standing on my ponytail.
Solider2:(Draws his survival knife) Then I guess it's time for a haircut.
(S2 uses his knife and cuts Jupiter's ponytail near Godzilla's foot. Then he helps her to her feet.)
S2: I'm disobaying orders trying to rescue you, so let's get out of the line of fire.
SJ: Fine by me. (Thinking) What a HUNK!!!
(The two of them run away from Godzilla as the military continues to fire. They ocasionally swerve to avoid stray shots that miss their targets. One shot blasts the two of them into the air and SJ grabs S2 and carries him further.)
S2:(Shocked) Hey! How are you.... Hey wait a minute! Your Sailor Jupiter!
I thought you ladies were just a myth.
SJ:(amused) Do I look like a myth?
S2: Definatly not. (Thinking) Doesn't FEEL like one either.
(Finally Godzilla has had enough. Instead of his regular burst of flame, his fire comes only a few inches out of his mouth. This encourages the military and they fire with more intensity. However, it seems the flame was just a signal that the big G was powering up a more powerful attack. Beams of light shoot from his form and one big burst of white light fires out in all directions from his body. The Nucular Pulse Blast spreads out and SJ and S2 [Who SJ has put down] watch as the Blast destroys every last military vehicle in sight.
They also notice that the Pulse Blast is aproching rapidly. S2 trips and falls to the ground.)
Jupiter:(Stops running) Hang on! I'll carry you.
Solider2:(Waves her off) No time. My legs busted. Get going.
(Pushes her away hard) The names Michles...(smiles) it was nice knowing you
[Cue the FiB!!!]
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