"And in here," Havoc said, having calmed down the three fanboys enough to actually have them not stay reduced to twitching nervous wrecks anymore. "is our specialty critter room, also run by Nabiki Tendo."
Chaos gawked at the enormous two-storey room devoted to the Critter Races. "Sugoi! This actually looks non-Hentai!"
"For the most part it isn't," Havoc replied. "The only things you lose in placing your bets are your clothes."
"Don't remind me," Carnage sighed, abruptly pausing as Rei leaped onto his back and giggled. "I swear I'm being punished for something I didn't Dragu Slave," he muttered.
"How'd you manage to keep Rampage away from all these kawaii Anime mascots?" Chaos asked.
"Hey, this is my Omakefic," Havoc stated. "You haven't seen Rampage show up at all for this, have you?"
Chaos nodded. "And I can't believe I'm thanking you for that, considering at what the price for the absence of that Godzilla-thingy is."
"Anyone care to bet on this next race?" Havoc inquired. "For the lucky animal that finishes first, their prize is a kiss from our cage-dancing beauty Ami-chan. The featured animals this round include...a black piglet, a panda, a near-sighted duck, a cabbit, a fresh-water penguin, one Bugrum, and--HEY! Who let that Newt in there?!"
Well as luck would have it, Carnage bet on the newt and won back his clothes. Nabiki was quite disappointed that she didn't get to claim his boxers. The Newt was happy to get his kiss...even after setting fire to the racetrack when he got it. Chaos wound up leaving without his favourite dress; and he was so certain that the myopic Mu Mu-chan would win too!
The group moved back into the main lounge of Planet Hentai, and finally located Pesti-chan. "And where the hell have you been?" Chaos demanded.
Carnage leaned closer to the newly appointed overlord. "Na ni? Pesti-chan, what's with that stupid grin on your face?"
Pesti-chan chuckled, motioning over his shoulder to the centre stage. "Mako-chan was helping wait on tables."
"So?" Chaos pressed.
"Well," Havoc explained. "My illustrious table-waiters are actually the Variable Geo crew, which means they also get to wrestle each other in that big tub of Jello and whipped cream to see who will be crowned Miss Ecchiban." Havoc grinned. "I got the idea after our Evening At Lita's encounter."
"Hold on," Carnage cut in. "But if Makoto was waiting on tables like all the other girls from Variable Geo, then that means she also...oh, I don't believe this!"
Chaos: o.O "SHE WHAT?!"
Pesti-chan sighed wistfully. "She was crowned Ecchiban too. Maybe coming here wasn't such a bad idea."
"YOU MEAN SHE WRESTLED IN WHIPPED CREAM AND JELLO AND YOU DIDN'T INVITE ME?!?!" the oversized head of Chaos exclaimed.
"Daijobu," Havoc soothed. "There's always a fresh supply of Jello here at Planet Hentai."
Chaos' eyebrow twitched. "I swear you were disowned at birth for either spanking the cute delivery doctor back, or else mistaking the nurse with the biggest breasts for a bottle."
"Actually," she replied with a shrug. "I spanked the cute delivery nurse back, and mistaking the doctor with the biggest breasts for a bottle."
Carnage rolled his eyes. "You are unbelievable."
Chaos was still sulking over his loss. "I don't believe it. First he gets to date her, then he gets to see her incarnation in Wonderland as the sexy Mad Hatter, and now he got to cheer her on in a whipped cream wrestling contest."
Chaos: [turning to the author] "I hope Naoko hammers you right into an Oscarfic for this!"
Mayhem: "Hard to do, Chaos: the eraserfic wiped out anything of Oscar's, remember?"
Suddenly numerous spotlights fixated on the stage, and a chorus of trumpets sounded. "Hotcha!" Havoc exclaimed. "The magic show's about to begin! Excuse me a moment."
And with that Havoc bounded up to the stage and grabbed a microphone. "Hentais and gentlemen!" she announced. "Now that we have crowned the definitely deserving Kino Makoto as this tonight's Planet Hentai Ecchiban--"
Chaos glared at Pesti-chan.
"--we proudly present the club's own magic show! We're so lucky to have signed on great acts like Cauldina and Ryoko! Of course, they're the pro's at this game. Right now we've got someone coming to warm up the crowd."
"I wonder who," Mayhem remarked, searching the ceiling cages for his belovedly bumping & grinding Ami-chan.
Havoc stepped aside. "And here he is: Tuxedo Kamen!!"
"Wah! Go Mamo-chan!" came Usagi's voice from the crowds.
Tuxedo Kamen stepped onto the stage...and was instantly crushed by a large stone block sculpted into a Gundam Deathscythe with the kana "Ye fanboy's anger" carved onto it.
Havoc gave a curious glance over to Carnage. "Hai...Watch how he seems to magically vanish beneath a 10-ton press the moment he steps onto the stage! What a trooper!"
Chaos, Mayhem and Pesti-chan leaned forward in their seats, all looking directly at the darkly grinning Carnage. Carnage glanced over to the pan-dimensional rope he was gripping. "And that, Pesti-chan, is how you *properly* smite someone without invoking collateral damage."
Pesti-chan nodded, flicking his sweatdrop. "Dully noted."
"Akito!" Rei said. "Did you have to smite Mamoru-san like that?"
"Well, he kinda deserved it," Mayhem said. "After all, do you know any other guy who can be so easily brainwashed by every sexy, evil woman he meets?"
Chaos sighed. "So is this Omakefic over now or what?!"
"Ha ha!" Havoc exclaimed, popping up amidst the fanboys. "Planet Hentai's never over! It never closes because hentai knows no time limits!"
Suddenly four demonic oversized fanboys loomed over Havoc. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!"
Havoc: ^-^ "Oro?"
But indeed the Omakefic could not end without one final appearance by someone who needed no introduction! Just as Cauldina finished off her disappearing panties of illusion trick (and much to her dismay and delight, Havoc still didn't manage to get a pair of panties off Cauldina!) suddenly a loud Naga-esque cackle echoed across the club.
Carnage stiffened. "I know that laugh...."
The other three fanboys groaned. "Oh no! Not her again!"
The spotlights were turned on to reveal Red Queen Kasumi taking centre stage. The Red Queen laughed. "WOH OHO HO HOH OHO HO HOH HO!!! Ara, I see you're still claiming to be Hentenno-sama, ne, Havoc-kun?"
Havoc bounded onto a table, another set of spotlights fixating on her. "This Omakefic's not big enough for the both of us," she replied evenly. "You still can't handle the thong, Skimehime-chan!"
The Red Queen laughed again. "So you say, Havoc-kun. How about we take this issue to where it properly belongs?"
Havoc nodded. "Hai hai. Prepare the wrestling tub of Jello and whipped cream!"
Chaos: o.O "That's it! I've had it with this Omakefic! I've got a remote control of the gods and I know how to use it!"
Carnage: [VERY unimpressed] "You mean you had that with you for the entire Hentai Omake and you decided to use it now?!"
Pesti: "Whatever you're gonna do, do it quick! Havoc's about to go into Cream Lemon!"
Red Queen Kasumi: "WOH OHO HO HOH OHO HO HOH HO!!! Call me the Queen, please!!"
[Cue the tsunami of whipped cream!]
[The Omakefic is abruptly terminated due to technical difficulties experienced with whipped cream. Had we decided to terminate this Omakefic due to lack of good taste, we would have never made it past the introduction.]
^-^ Tee hee!
Aiya! Now this is without a doubt the most surreal and the most depraved Fanboys! escapade ever. Even moreso than the Oscar: Resurrection moviefic. Once again I'm not very certain how much I want to thank Lord Havoc for creating Planet Hentai and all it's "interesting" attractions. Now if you'll excuse me, the morning is young and I have new nightmares to experience thanks to this fic.
His lordship Chaos.
[Enter the fanboys!]
Carnage: "Dammit, I need a drink after experiencing that!"
Chaos: "Hai hai. Pesti-chan, better just wheel the fridge over here. We're gonna need every last bottle of Hard Lemonade we have."
Pesti: [groan!] "Hurting...stop...when?"
Mayhem: "Speak for yourselves. My only problem was Ami-chan being the gogo cage dancer."
Pesti: "I doubt it was because of the fact that she was gogo dancing in a cage, ne?"
Mayhem: [nod!] "I must have spontaneously combusted a couple dozen times thanks to Ami-chan. My clothes are all ruined!"
Chaos: "*Your* clothes?! I had to see my favourite dress lose to Nabiki!"
Pesti: [sigh!] "Well, here's something that might help the pain: I've just got the latest missive from one of our faithful fans, Koneko, and her friends Sol-Rei and Drie-chan."
>*A crying Koneko come's in.*
>Koneko:I MISS *snort* My two exchange students.
Chaos: o.O "This is not turning out to be the usual cheerful Email from them."
Carnage: "At least it doesn't start with you walking out of your room half-nekkid and in your female Haley form."
Chaos: "Hey! It's comfortable to sleep like that in this heat, okay?!"
>*Sol-Rei runs on*
>Sol-Rei: It's all right. You'll see them in two years when
>you to Japan.
>*Enter Drie-chan wearing only a light pink robe.*
>Drie-chan:"Havoc!!!!! I missed you oh so much you sexy devil!!!
>*running into him and hugging him around the waist.*
Fanboys: o.O "What...the...hell...?"
Havoc: "Hotcha! Come to Hentenno-sama, Drie-chan!"
Carnage: "Has she lost her mind?!"
>Drie-chan: Your so amazing that I could resist your charm
>no longer, I wanna be your fangirl from now on.
Chaos: [consulting script] "This can't be right! We just finished Havoc's H2Omake so this sort if insanity shouldn't even be happening anymore!"
Pesti: "Chaos, this is the omake theatre for Havoc's H2Omake. The hentai factor is still off the scale."
Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
>*Havoc feeling a gentle breeze as Drie-chan jumps back
>and held up the pair of underwear that he was wearing.*
Havoc: "That's strange. All I wear are Dragon Pink's cursed--"
>Drie-chan:OHhohohohohohohohoho. I got you! I got you! Did
>you really think that I would be your fan girl? Pesti-chan
>is the only one for me, and today you can't steal my underwear
>cause I'm not wearing any.
Pesti: o.O "Aiya."
Chaos: "Ano, Drie-chan...*not* having any underwear on is tempting fate with Havoc even more than wearing panties."
Havoc: "Hotcha! This oughta be fun!"
Carnage: [cracking knuckles] "For whom, Havoc? DIL BRAND!!!"
>Koneko: Ahhh, this is going to hurt you Havoc.
>*Drie-chan took off the robe to reveal her MANTA swim team
Mayhem: "She looks almost like Captain Tita from Plastic Nipple--I mean, Little."
>Drie-Chan: gotcha!!!!!!! *giving him the v sign.*
>Koneko: I hold no emnity to those coersed into evil.
Carnage: "Say, does this sound familiar to you guys?"
Mayhem: "It's not a Sailor Moon magical girl speil, that's for sure."
>Sol-Rei: But to those who corrupt the hearts and souls of men.
Chaos: "I know I at least have heard this from somewhere."
Pesti: "So have I. But from--(o.O) Oh my...!!"
>Drie-chan: Since the time of ancient gods we have been your
>All: WE ARE HENTAI HUNTERS.
[Cue the facevaults!]
Carnage: "Shimatta! That speech is from Devil Hunter Yohko!"
Havoc: "Hotcha! Let's see that dress-ripping transformation, my kawaii little Hentai Hunters! Even better, let me help!"
Fanboys: "SHADDUP HAVOC!!"
>*All have a similar outfit to Devil hunter Yohko but Drie
>-chan's is pink, Sol-Rei's is blue, and Koneko's is black.*
Chaos: [tilting his head] "Sugoi! Those really are...quite revealling, ne? I wonder of my Mako-chan could try one of those one for me?"
Pesti: "*WHOSE* Mako-chan?!"
>Koneko: Payback time Havoc ol' pal 'o' mine. heehee.
>Sol-Rei: Last time you mess with us.
>Drie-chan: Prepare to die.
Havoc: [leaping into the midst of the Hentai Hunters!] "Spank me, ladies! I've been a bad little Hentenno-sama today!"
Pesti: [sigh!] "Hai hai."
>*All are interrupted by Drie-chan's stomach growling.*
>Sol-Rei: Didn't you eat?
>Drie-chan: You KNOW I have to eat every 10 min.
[Cue the facevaults!]
Chaos: "What is it with girls fighting evil and having voracious appetites?! Look at Usagi, Miaka, Linna Inverse, and half a dozen others!"
Mayhem: "Well, it does take a fair amount of energy to be the manic and maniacal girls that they are."
Havoc: "Does this mean I'm not going to get spanked?"
Carnage: [eyebrow twitch!] "Oh no, Havoc. You're going to get something faaaaar worse."
Havoc: [pulling out his wooden spanker spoon!] "Hotcha! Does that mean it's time for another rousing game of Spank the Senshi?"
Carnage: "Not quite, Havoc. MEGA BRAND!!!"
Havoc: ^-^ "Oro?"
[Havoc is Mega Branded out of the Email. So is most of the fanboys' apartment too.]
Chaos: [coughs out a kawaii li'l smoke cloud.] "Gee...thanks Carnage."
>Koneko: Anyway, Carnage your a scorpio? ME TOO. UR2 COOL.
>I saw your pic.
Carnage: o.O "This Tenchi Masaki syndrome is really starting to be a haphazard for me."
Mayhem: "Wait'll you see F8!, Carnage. Scuttlebutt around the fics is that Vampire Princess Miyu is going to be one of your heavy-duty contenders with Rei for dating rights."
Carnage: [eyebrow twitch!] "Na ni?!"
>Drie-chan: I just realized that we haven't told about ourselves. I look a lot like Yui-chan, but I have the personality of Miaka.
Pesti: "Ah. That explains the growling stomach."
>Sol-Rei: I look like Rei from Evangelion. And I live away from home.
Mayhem: "Whereas we fanboys live away from reality period."
Pesti: "Maybe this is why the author is having such sadistic fun with us in the fics; he can't be here so he's taking out his frustrations on us."
Chaos: [sulking] "Oh that's mature of him."
Carnage: "This coming from Little Miss Dragqueen."
Chaos: [oversized balloon head!] "I AM NOT A DRAGQUEEN, OKAY?!"
>Koneko: I guess I kind of look like...um... I think...um? Momiji!
Havoc: "Hotcha! More panty flashes!"
Carnage: [sweatdrop!] "Didn't I just Mega Brand you?"
Havoc: ^-^ "Hai! And you catapulted me right into Gundam Wing! Hmmmm...note to self: Relena's packing. Wait until she's mellowed out to steal her panties again."
Pesti: [wince!] "Uh-oh."
Carnage: [oversized demonic head mode!] "YOU WHAT?!?!"
Mayhem: [walking away] "If anyone needs me, I'll be far away from Ground Zero when it detonates."
Carnage: "DRAGU SLAVE!!!!!"
>Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh KUNO. I HATE HIM but I hate the hawaiian principal worse.
Pesti: "What do you expect? He's Kuno's father."
Kuno: [racing towards Chaos] "Ah, my pig-tailed goddess! At last I have found thee!"
[Kuno is abruptly smited by a cow that falls from the sky for no apparent reason.]
Chaos: "And who says my cows are ineffective?"
Pesti: "Aiya. They can scream just like Chaos."
Chaos: [sulking] "I don't scream."
[Cue Red Queen Kasumi!]
Red Queen: "WOH HO HOH OHO HOH HO HO HO OHO HOH!!!! Ara, Chaos-kun, please lick my boots and call me the Queen. NOW, PLEASE!!!"
Chaos: [frantic SD mode] "KYAAAAAA!!!! JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA!!!!!!"
>Drie-chan:SHUDDUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!! Oh Pesti-chan I
>hope that you aren't mad at me for saying that I was Havoc's
>fangirl, but I don't think you care anyway." *sigh*
Pesti: "So long as we pummelled the pervert, I'm happy."
Havoc: "Ah, such a celebration as this deserves some excellent cuisine! Jello, anyone?"
[Cue the facevaults!]
>Koneko: Well time is at an end and we have to go bust some
>pevert downtown that keep flashing people.
[The fanboys glare at Havoc.]
Havoc: "Oh sure, blame the guy with the panties from the entire Nadesico crew!"
Carnage: "Well who else is there?!"
Havoc: [indignant sniff] "I steal panties from Anime babes. I do not flash people. I'm not for free, you know."
Fanboys: [punting Havoc into orbit!] "HENTAI!!!!"
Havoc: "Call me Hentenno-sama!!"
>Hentai hunters, away!!!!!
>*Sol-Rei pulls out an whip, Drie-chan a sword, and Koneko
>All: Bye Bye minna-san.
Havoc: "So does this mean I don't get to spank anyone?"
Chaos: "WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT ALREADY?!"
Havoc: [sigh!] "Oh well, at least I have a consolation prize. Who here's up for some Jello?"
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