MSTery Men.

      Samantha: "As in: how you fanboys will ever survive this fic without getting riffed is a mystery to me."
      Chaos: [turning to the fanboys] "You do realize I'm blaming all of you for this."
      Dark Mayhem: "Oh, and like you haven't contributed to this fic's dementia?"
      Chaos: "Name one thing!"
      Pesti: "Dating Hotaru."
      Dark Mayhem: "Groping Makoto."
      Carnage: "That Victoria Senshi negligee you're wearing comes to mind."
      Alexander: [eyebrow twitch!] "Why is it that half the avatars we meet have some sort of fuku-wearing fetish?"
      Chaos: [irate li'l SD hissy-fit!] "Just what is it with this series?! Oh, why must life be so harsh towards me? Why must I be the one always subjected to deranged and wanton smiting?! Nobody understands what I'm trying to do here, and no one has it as bad as--!!"
       [Chaos abruptly turns as he sees Desolation standing next to him.]
      Desolation: ^-^ "Ohayo!"
       [Chaos nonchalantly whistles as the Magipan castle falls from the sky and smites Desolation!]
      Dark Mayhem: "So can we finish this turkey of a Cameofic now?"
      Hysteria: ^-^ "Ne? Ne ne?"
      Alexander: "And what are you supposed to be?"
      Hysteria: ^-^ "Kawaii!!!"
      Alexander: [sweatdrop!] "Um...okay."
      Samantha: [shaking her head] "The rumours of you guys at Club Anipike have nothing on the reality of your fics."
      Sarcasm: ^^ [with Zel-chan!] "Ain't it great?"
       [Sarcasm-hime takes out her cell phone & dials a number.]
      Sarcasm: "Belldandy? Yeah, Sarcasm here. Put Urd on the line for me; I've got a favourite bishounen I'm calling in...."
      Pesti: --;; "You know, we just get yelled at when we misdial the Goddess Technical Hotline."
      Samantha: "You wouldn't happen to be related to Brett Handy, would you?"
      Chaos: --;; "Does he get whipped by leather-clad dominatrixes?"
      Jolt: "Does Urd count?"
      Havoc: [popping up!] "Only when she's nekkid!"
      Fanboys: "SHADDUP HAVOC!!"
      Anarchy: [with Sake!] "So, shall we toast to the conclusion of this Cameofic?"
      Everyone: ^^ "Hai!"
      Anarchy: [evil smile!] "I was hoping you'd say that."
       [Cue the AT Field!]
      Everyone: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
      Anarchy: [sigh!] "Too easy."
[Cue Cameofic 3!]


Part III: Another Fine MST You've Gotten Me Into

       Written by: His Lordship Chaos
       (Obligatory riffing performed without a net by Jolt!)

      His lordship Chaos: [in the jacuzzi] " I was like this to Beans: 'come on! If Chaos can look good in a Chinese cheongsam, then so can I. I've got a closetful of those slinky red dresses too, I'll have you know!'"
      Jamie "Jolt" Jeans: [looking out to the readers] "'re on."
      His lordship Chaos: ^-^;; "And naturally it means welcome back to our Cameofic, featuring that trio of MSTiers direct from the vault of SVAM!"
      Jamie: "So cue the lights."
      His lordship Chaos: "Cue Cameraman Dan!"
      Cameraman Dan: [V-sign!] "Hai!"
      Jamie: "And cue the Cameofic!"
      His lordship Chaos: "But first, cue the contractually obligatory Surgeon General's warning about this fic!"
      Jamie: "The censor board's still on your case, eh?"
      His lordship Chaos: [sigh!] "I thought I had killed them all off after MSTfic 2, but apparently some survived."
       [Cue the obligatory warning segment!]
       You can't scroll any further down this page!
       If you do, it may cause hitherto unknown levels of absolute madness to be unleashed, the likes of which the world has never before seen. If you value the sanity of this world then for the love of Kami-sama don't read any more!
       You're still reading!
       Please don't go any further!
       I, your voice of reason, am begging you! I'm on my knees here. We don't want the world to end! Please! PLEASE! Just stop reading the fic now, click on the 'back' button to leave this webpage, and maybe we'll be okay!
       The 'back' button! The one labelled "BACK"!
       The world will go mad if you don't--
       Oh...never mind.
       Too late.
       ^-^ Weeeell, that was a good waste of time, wasn't it?
       And now that the deranged tirade of introductory nonsense is out of the way...onto the next deranged tirade of plot-filled nonsense!
       When we last left the fanboys, they had valiantly and courageously screamed and fled in terror as the Otakinator was hunting them down one at a time. So where could our heroic otaku run to?
       Where, indeed. Back to their apartment? Back to Mako-chan's apartment? How about Planet Hentai, I hear that's good this time of year!
      Havoc: ^-^ "Hotcha! Act now and you'll receive our special price on the all you can eat nyotaimori braffet. But remember: you have to bring your own cups. Size double-D is recommended."
      Fanboys: "SHADDUP HAVOC!!!"
       Anyhoo, special plate and panty deals aside, Pesti-chan and Samantha found themselves walking down the calm streets of Tokyo. Far off in the distance, a large fireball rose up into the sky. Presumably that had something to do with Carnage. And justifiably so.
      Carnage: [eye roll!] "Geez, you flambe the Ginza ward once, and no one ever lets you live it down."
       "So what's really the deal with that robot?" Samantha asked, glancing at the buildings. This road seemed to be fairly intact; something she was starting to marvel at.
       Pesti-chan shrugged. "Apparently it wants to kill us. Not an entirely new scenario for us, I regrettably admit. But I have to confess that a psychotic Naoko Takeuchi with her 1000t mallet scares me more."
       "And this stuff is normal for you guys?" Samantha pressed. "You're avatars! Aren't you supposed to be...indulging yourselves or something self-gratuitous like that?"
       "Only some of us get that luxury," Pesti-chan lamented, shaking his head. "But you have to be either a pervert or a fangirl to get that."
       "I'm not going ask."
       Suddenly a loud voice broke the quiet calm of the street into tiny kawaii li'l pieces:
      Hysteria: ^-^ [kawaii li'l excited fangirl, ne?] "OHAYOOOOOO!!!"
       Hysteria's uberkawaii shout caused Pesti-chan to facevault right onto a telephone pole. This in turn caused Sorata and Kamui (no, the *real* Kamui), who were perched on top of the pole, to lose their balance and crash on either side of Samantha.
       Samantha looked to the two 'Sky Dragons' sprawled out beside her. "I feel like I'm in a really deranged WWF match."
       Just then Hysteria came racing down the sidewalk, throwing herself into Samantha's bosom and glomping onto the female MSTier. "Ooooh! You're just soooooo kawaii, ne? Ne? Ne?" Hysteria paused, giving Samantha's reduced cleavage a test poke. "You're not very well-built though."
       Samantha stared down at the fangirl, and then gawked upon seeing how endowed Hysteria was for a seemingly 12 year-old fangirl. "And...who the hell is this?" she demanded evenly, slowly turning her head to Pesti-chan.
       Pesti-chan groaned, massaging the sides of his head as he pulled himself up. "Shimatta! I was hoping to avoid her."
       "Why? Afraid she'll incriminate your series even further?"
       "No," Pesti-chan replied. "Hysteria scares me enough just by herself."
       Hysteria turned, and immediately glomped onto Pesti-chan. The force of impact sent them both toppling over backwards--but fortunately Sorata nicely broke their fall.
       "Ooooh! Ohayo, Pesti-poppa!" Hysteria exclaimed happily.
       "Would you stop calling me that?!" Pesti-chan snapped.
       Samantha looked from the overlord to the fangirl. "Pesti-poppa? Is there something between you and Makoto that I should dismember you limb from limb over?"
      Pesti: "Please don't. Samantha, meet Hysteria, the fanboys' alleged daughter from the future. Hysteria, meet one of our MSTiers for this Cameofic."
      Hysteria: ^-^ [happily little dance!] "Ooooh! MSTier-chan MSTier-chan!"
      Samantha: --;; "You know, I can see to it that she's never heard from again."
      Pesti: [suddenly quite eager] "Really? What's the cost?"
      Hysteria: "Ooooh! Pesti-poppa! Samantha-chan! Hysteria's got more kawaii little frilly aprons for you to wear for Hysteria's kawaii little tea party!"
      Samantha: [crackling her knuckles] "This one would be on me."
       Suddenly Hysteria grabbed hold of Samantha's leg and began hauling the MSTier off. "Wheeeeee! Hysteria's going to have sooo much kawaii little fun-chan trying to decide which kawaii little bowtie-chans go best with you, Samantha-chan!"
       "Wha--hey!" Samantha exclaimed as she was unceremoniously tripped onto the ground. "Leggo of me, you overly cute freak!"
       Pesti-chan absently watched Samantha get dragged past him, her fingers leaving gouge marks in the street. "I would help her," he sighed. "But there are just some horrors a MSTier should discover alone."
       And then Samantha managed to push forward, snagging Pesti-chan's ankle.
      Samantha: [grrr!] "If I'm going down, I'm taking you to hell with me, fanboy."
      Pesti: o.O;; "Aiya."
       This sudden panic attack was enough to cause Pesti-chan to split apart, his li'l SD selves tumbling onto the ground. However, Samantha still had a hold of SD Pesti-chan #4, who promptly freaked out and grabbed a hold of SD Pesti-chan #5's leg. SD Pesti-chan #5 was yanked onto the ground and started to get dragged along with the procession--until he grabbed a hold of SD Pesti-chan #1's leg.
      Hysteria: ^-^ "Hotcha! Tea party-chan! Tea party-chan!"
      SD Pesti's: o.O "KYAAAAAAA!!!"
      Samanatha: "That's it! She's getting a taste of my Inner Soul."
      SD Pesti #2: "I'd be against doing that. She'll detonate into whipped cream if you try it."
      Samantha: --;; "Oh great, we're screwed."

Page 2
Back to Fanfics