Once upon a fic, there was a bean.

Chibi-Beans: ^-^ "Berf."

Michiru: "Aww, she is so adorable when she's super-deformed!"

Haruka: "For the last time, Michiru, we are not taking her home and making her the family pet."

Michiru: [pouting]"But I already had the collar and bell picked out for her."

          This bean owned a lake god, which she fed and cleaned and kept in an aquarium. The aquarium itself remained in her dorm room, and save for a few very close and fuku-clad friends, no one else knew of this unique house pet. And so everyone lived happily ever after...kind of.
          For you see, there was this fanboy.

Chibi-Chaos: >) "Worship my 'Crest of the Outlaw Star' fic, or feel the wrath of my Puchuu army, mortals!"

Puchuu army: ^-^ "Puchuu!"

Chibi-Hysteria: [Bambi-eyed] "Awww, Chaos-momma's unholy army looks so kawaii...but Hysteria doesn't know what the hell they are! Hysteria must kill them, for the sake of love and justice and kawaii little puppy dog-chans!!"

Chibi-Chaos: -.-;; "Who let you into my intro. bit anyways, you petty excuse for a pile of DNAvatar? And just how did you manage to survive the last part's omake?!"


Puchuu army: ^-^ "Puchuu?"

Chibi-Chaos: [sweatdrop!] "Fancy what?"


Chibi-Chaos: o.O;; "KYAAA!!! It burns! It burns like a Medabots dub!!"

          He wanted the bean's lake god for himself, since his own mascots kept trying to eat him. This fanboy made many attempts to steal the bean's lake god--and failed miserably, getting his butt swiftly kicked numerous times in the process. And so everyone lived happily ever after...kind of.
          For you see, there was this MSTier.

Chibi-Nightbreak: ^^;;; "Is it strange for me to wonder if I'm the only sane person in this entire series?"

Chibi-Dark Mayhem: "Don't worry, we'll corrupt you soon enough. Isn't that right, Ebichuman?"

Ebichu: [dressed up in a masked superhero outfit!] "Hai! I am Ebichuman, your sexual saviour! You will have your orgasm this very night!"

Chibi-Nightbreak: o.O [gyaa!] "Run away, run away!"

          Wanting a playful deity to have as his own mascot, he set out to steal the wind god that had appeared in one of the bean's latest College Life fics. But he quickly realized he needed the skills of a more experienced god thief. One can only guess why he picked an idiot like the fanboy, however. And so the MSTier and the fanboy teamed up to get the bean's mascots for themselves.

Chibi-Chaos: [cool pose!] "Together, we are unstoppable!"

Chibi-Nightbreak: [throwing confetti!] "Hai!"

Chibi-Chaos: "Together, we shall get Beans' resident deities!"

Chibi-Nightbreak: [confetti for all!] "Hai!"

Chibi-Chaos: "Together, we shall write my next glorious fic: Resident Evilmon, where the Umbrella Corporation creates Digirat zombies, and only the Digi-destined can kill them when they start running amok!"

Chibi-Nightbreak: [dumping the confetti down Chibi-Chaos' pants] "You're on your own for that one, buddy."

Chibi-Chaos: "But I need someone else to help me Digivolve one of those things into a Lickermon and a Nemesismon!"

Professor Tomoe: ^^v "I'll take that job!"

Chibi-Chaos: -.-;;; "Let me rephrase that: I want someone *effective* to help me Digivolve one of those things into a Lickermon and a Nemesismon. This has to happen in a few pages, not finally after a whole season of uselessness."

          And so everyone lived happily ever after.
          For you see, there was this unpleasant altercation where the fanboy and the MSTier thought they had killed the bean, and were now forced to make everyone believe the bean was alive until her College Life series ended.

Chibi-Nightbreak: [hoisting up the mamequin] "I can't believe I let you talk me into this."

Chibi-Chaos: "Daijobu! We only have to worry if her boyfriend, Andy, wants some fanservice in the next chapter."

Chibi-Nightbreak: [shiver!] "Don't even go there, Chaos. This is so not going to devolve into a Sexy Losers comic."

          And so everyone lived happily ever after.
          Kind of.
          For you see, there was this evil 'Adventures of the Mame Goddesses!!!' sequel....

           Greenbeans, Nightbreak & His lordship Chaos present:


(otherwise known as, Adventures of the Mame Goddesses!)

Part II: Mamegelion - Death & Reberf

          Lohengrope was sitting at his private booth in Club Anipike, reading a newspaper while having a breakfast of Lemon tea (with cream), a grapefruit and a crumpet...no really, that's what he's having...okay, you go argue with him about it!
          A Puchuu bear clamoured onto the tabletop, stood in front of Lohengrope, then in its cutest face ever said, "Puchuu?"
          Lohengrope lowered his newspaper, and glanced at the Puchuu. "Ghezunteit."
          He then went back to reading his paper.
          The Puchuu stared at him in a kawaii, bemused way, and then trudged off to find some other victim for cuddling. This proved somewhat difficult since the few Anipike patrons around were all together playing a few private games, and didn't really care for the Puchuu's company. And perhaps it's just as well, given who the Puchuu did inevitably find....

Puchuu: ^-^ "Puchuu?"

Gema: "Gema?"

Puchuu: ^-^ "Puchuu!"

Gema: [sweatdrop!] "That shouldn't be repeated in front of small children, gema! And you call yourself a cute made-for-kids character, gema?"

Puchuu: ^-^ "Puchuu!"

Gema: "You said what about my mother, gema?!"

Puchuu: ^-^ "Puchuu!"

Gema: [grrrrr!] "Okay, it's on now, gema! I'm going to tear your cute little tongue out through your cute little butt, gema!"

Dejiko: "Will the two of you shut up, nyo! EYEBEAM, NYO!!!"


          The interior of the club was momentarily lit up by two fiery mascots.
          "Dejiko, for the last time, will you cut that out, please?" Misato sighed as she hauled out the extinguisher. "We don't need you setting the club on fire again."
          "It's not Dejiko's fault that Puchuu bears aren't made of asbestos, nyo," Dejiko sulked, sinking down in her chair.
          Nearby, Nicholas D. Wolfwood was busy having a dart tournament with Valgaarv--and was getting clobbered. He scowled as he launched another dart and only managed to get a single point with it.
          "Ha!" Valgaarv snickered. "You may pretend to be a crack shot in Trigun, but in reality you couldn't hit the ground if it wasn't for gravity."
          Wolfwood's eyebrow twitched, and he calmly doused his cigarette. Seconds later he unstrapped his cross-shaped gun and aimed the cannon at dart board. One shot not only took out the entire dartboard, but also left a gaping hole in the wall that looked straight into the men's bathroom.

Nicholas: [hmph!] "You were saying?"

Valgaarv: [sweatdrop!] "......"

Allen Schezar: [standing at the urinals] "Um...I can't finish with an audience."

Misato: [sigh!] "Drywall! I need some drywall in here!"

          As Jim Hawkings was called in for an emergency repair of the facilities, Tekken star Kazyua came limping into the club from the video arcade, showing off a series of scorch marks covering his body, with all of his spiky hair burned off. "I can't believe it!" he groaned as he hobbled over to a stool. "She did it to me, of all people!"

Jotaru: "Ruri-chan frag your ass in the Quakefic yet again?"

Kazyua: ;_; "I'm a major ass-kicker from Tekken. This sort of thing shouldn't be happening to me!"

Ruri: [dressed up in her Quake gear] "Baka."

          With a sigh, Ruri stripped out of her armoured jacket and then tossed her railgun on the nearest available table. "I must admit, I'm as shoujo as the next girl, but the feel of that hot pulsating weapon in my hands as it empties round after round into some snarling monster just makes me so wired."
          Now while a number of token Urotsuki Doji monsters began to discreetly leave the room upon hearing this, Ruri-chan suddenly found herself accosted by an overly friendly Kazumi (fresh from having been possessed by the spirit of a flathead panda). Moments later he suddenly found himself staring down the barrel of Ruri's spare M-16 assault rifle.

Ruri: -.-;; "Baka."

Kazumi: ^^;;; "Now that I think of it, Toilet Hanako is the only girl for me! Hanako-chaaaan, let's go play together!"

          Ryo Saeba sighed and shook his head. "Can you believe how hormonal some people are these days?" he said to his three gaming partners. "All they think about is fanservice, fanservice, fanservice! You'd swear they were lemon avatars or something."
          His attention went back to his Mah-jongg tiles. "So whose turn was it?"

Miyuki-chan: ;_; [in her underwear] "I just knew I shouldn't have agreed to another round of Strip Mah-jongg."

Ryoga: [in his boxer shorts] "I'd have thought would have learned that from your manga."

          "Just be glad you weren't playing Lain Online," Magic Knight Hikaru remarked as she passed by the half-nekkid characters. "If Lain frags you in the Next, you get deleted from the Real."
          She turned her head as male Maze slowly stumbled out from the sleeping rooms. Every now and again, characters would have to work overtime on a fic; if they were unable to get home in decent time to catch some sleep, they could simply crash in one of the vacant rooms. Of course, some guys were rather notorious for using the suites as if they belonged in a love hotel.
           "I...*gasp!* don't believe it...." the haggard Maze groaned, looking as if he'd had the life energy sucked out of him by a youma. "Twenty- six...friggin' times."
          A very stoic but strangely content Key strolled out behind him. "Key has been taking lessons from Minni-May. She said this was a good way for Key to make thirty thousand friends."
          Male Maze ardently shook his head. "Not if you give them all heart attacks first!"
          "You know," Misato remarked as she sat down at the bar. "I haven't seen Chaos or Nightbreak in the past few hours. That has to mean they're getting into trouble or something."
          "When has Chaos ever managed to not get himself into trouble?" Jotaru said as he cleaned out one of the glasses. "He's like Pedro or Photon, or even that kid from Tenchi GXP--only Chaos is a certified idiot, whereas they're just unlucky bastards."
          "Tell me about it, "Desolation's head sighed as it rested comfortably on the bar stool beside Misato's.
          Misato sweatdropped as she glanced down at the Deso-head. "What happened to you this time around?"
          Deso-head rolled his eyes. "You recall those mecha-piranhas from the last part? Well, they managed to surprise me in the Jacuzzi. Did you know that while they can skeletonize a Totoro in twenty seconds, it takes them over a minute to polish off most of a 'Wu'?"
          Misato and Jotaru exchanged nervous glances, the kana for 'should we really even be hearing this?' scrolling in behind them.
          "So what are you going to do now?" Jotaru asked as he set down a Goldenboy Cadillac drink (with a really long straw) in front of Deso-head.
          Deso-head took a sip from his straw. "Oh, it's being taken care of...."

          [Cue the Fairy Godbabbit sticking a tiny plunger on the nearest mecha-piranha and yanking on it!]

Fairy Godbabbit: "Come on, cough his liver back up! Cough it up!"

         *          *

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