OMAKE THEATRE, TAKE B!!!
On tomorrow's exciting episode of Dragonball Z: Goku goes to
get groceries--only to discover he's forgotten the list! He
needs those groceries to power up for the next 30 freakin'
shows for his final attack too! How will he survive? Will
the villain defeat him? Will anyone watching this actually
care?! You'll have to find that out on the next episode of
Shadow Girl A-ko: "And in the next episode, everyone will get to see me strip out of my three woollen underpants too!"
Havoc: ^-^ "Hotcha! Now this is what I call a teaser! Bring on the fanservice!"
Vegita: -.-;; "That's it, I'm going home to kick Kakaroto's ass. I refuse to live la vida lemon."
Chibi-Chaos: o.O;; [eyebrow twitch!] "What the hell?"
Chibi-Nightbreak: o.O;; [eyebrow twitch!] "THAT was an omake?!"
Chibi-Chaos: "I don't know, I was expecting something a little grander, and not so--"
Chibi-Chaos: [nodding] "Stupid, yes."
Chibi-Nightbreak: "I don't believe this. It looks like we're stuck with the rest of this fic after all."
Chibi-Chaos: ^^v "Not to worry, though! I've brought along a secret weapon: Kenshin!"
Rurouni Kenshin: o.O; [blink blink!] "Oro?"
Chibi-Nightbreak: "And just what is he going to accomplish?"
Chibi-Chaos: "I haven't quite figured that part out yet. I've just always wanted to pull a samurai out from my pan-dimensional pocket. Heeeey, I found my Animayhem starter deck in here too!"
Chibi-Nightbreak: [shaking his head] "Yare yare. I never thought I'd say this, but let's go back to the fic. It's causing less pain than this sorry excuse for an omake."
Rurouni Kenshin: o.O;; "Oro?"
[Suddenly an SD Hysteria pops up and takes over the Omakefic!]
SD Hysteria: ^^v "Ohayo, minna-chans! Is everyone cheerful and genki and oh so kawaii today? Wai!"
Chibi-Chaos: "What the hell are you doing here again?"
Chibi-Nightbreak: "Aside from deepening my psychosis?"
SD Hysteria: "Wai! Nightbreak-chan gets to see Hysteria's very own kawaii little omake!"
Chibi-Chaos & Chibi-Nightbreak: o.O;;;
SD Hysteria: ^^v "It's once again time for 'Hysteria-chan's Kawaii Little Corner-chan', the segment that makes you want to look kawaii, ne? Ne? Ne?"
Kero: [tied to a chair in the background] "This is supposed to be 'Leave It To Kero'!"
SD Hysteria: "Hush, you!"
[Cue the omake...again!]
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT AN OMAKE THEATRE!!!
SD Hysteria: [lounging in an English high back chair] "Wai wai wai! Kawaii little Hysteria is here to show you her latest kawaii little Hysteriafic-chan: Card Captor Saturn! Now today we are looking at kawaii little Sakura-chan's costume: kawaii little Goth Sakura- chan!"
[A young Hotaru, clad in a black yet very kawaii magical girl outfit struts onto the stage, and pivots about prettily.]
SD Hysteria: ^^v "Wai! She looks oh so kawaii, ne? Ne? Ne? Hysteria just loves the way the kawaii little pattern-chan has been made to resemble a kawaii little hybrid between a Scottish kilt-chan and a Goth version of a kawaii sailor fuku-chan! And Hysteria just adores the colours of black-chan on black-chan on red-chan! And just for fun, look at how kawaii her glove-chans look in that kawaii blood- red colour-chan! And the kawaii little plaid scarf-chan around her neck-chan looks just oh so kawaii, ne? Ne? Ne?"
Chibi-Nightbreak: -.-;; "All this cuteness is making me want to vomit, ne?"
Chibi-Chaos: [twitch!] "Hotaru...in a kilt?!"
Chibi-Nightbreak: "I'll only start to fear if she possesses the weapon: Silence Bagpipes."
Chibi-Chaos: [snicker!] "Silence Bagpipes? Now there's an Oxymoron...or was I the oxymoron?"
Chibi-Nightbreak: "You're half of that word, Chaos. Trust me."
SD Hysteria: ^-^ "Now it's time for the popular Hysteria-chan Check!"
[The fic zooms in to focus on one particular item of the wardrobe, namely Card Captor Saturn's disturbingly cute & lethal Silence Glaive.]
SD Hysteria: "See how Hysteria added such a kawaii set of wing- chans to the sides of the kawaii little glaive-chan! Plus all the kawaii extra rhinestone-chans and long flowing ribbon-chans make it the perfect, kawaii little accessory-chan for Card Captor Saturn- chan!"
Chibi-Nightbreak: "If Chibiusa is in Tomoyo's role, I swear somebody's gonna die."
Chibi-Chaos: "I'm a little worried about Tuxedo Yue myself."
SD Hysteria: ^^v [waving good-bye!] "Wai wai wai! See ya, minna- chans! Ja ne!"
Chibi-Chaos: [shaking his head] "Card Captor Saturn? Hotaru in a kilt?! What the hell did Hysteria sprinkle on her bowl of Cereal Experiments Lain this morning?"
Chibi-Nightbreak: "Of course, that Hysteriafic does lend itself certain abuses."
Chibi-Chaos: [???] "Such as."
Chibi-Nightbreak: "Sakura as Mistress Nine."
[Cue a very grown-up and *very* well-endowed Sakura appearing, clad in a flimsy black evening dress and looooong brown hair!!]
Mistress Sakura 9: "Clow Card Daimons: attack!"
Chibi-Chaos & Chibi-Nightbreak: o.O [ack!] "KYAAAAAAA!!! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"
[Cue the fic again!]
"Well, that was a complete waste of four pages," Chibi- Nightbreak groaned, shaking his head. "Three different omakes and that's the best you can do?"
"In our defence, it was all on short notice," Chibi-Chaos protested, rattling the mamequin. "What were you expecting, War & Peacecroft? It doesn't change the fact that we still have to make Beans here look alive."
"At least we don't have to worry about rigormortis setting in all too quickly," Chibi-Nightbreak said. He appraised the mamequin, whose head was tipped forward and swaying from shoulder to shoulder. "Chaos, would you please make her stop doing a Dynamite Mambo dance?"
Chibi-Chaos huffed, "You never let me have any fun."
"I am so going to the Hell of the Underage Chibiusa Lemons for this," Chibi-Nightbreak sighed. "Come on, we need to get her back to her room. And that's going to be tricky enough, trying to convince everyone in the common room that she's not dead."
"Just hold her up by a shoulder and carry her along," Chibi- Chaos said. "Flip her arm around if she has to wave to someone even. But what we need is an excuse to get her quickly back up to her room, if anyone tries to stop us."
Chibi-Nightbreak scratched his head. "What did you have in mind?"
Pulling out a small sketchpad, Chibi-Chaos outlined his ingenious plan. Naturally, Chibi-Nightbreak had a few reservations about the plan. "Um, Chaos? As much as I hate to burst your Awa Awa Bubble, you can't breathe snowcones."
"But how else am I going to fit my Trigun/Ghibli creation, the Kuronekobus, into this?" Chibi-Chaos said.
"Let's just get her corpse inside and up the stairs," Chibi- Nightbreak said, growing thoroughly exasperated with their situation. "I'm starting to freeze my super-deformed butt off in all this snow."
Carefully, Chibi-Nightbreak and Chibi-Chaos tiptoed over to the entrance to the residence, and then braved the heavily occupied common room. A lot of heads turned in their direction, but since the mamequin was with them, most just thought Beans had some friends she was showing around.
One of the girls on the couch, upon seeing them enter, happily sat up and waved to them. "Heya, Beans!" she exclaimed.
Chibi-Chaos and Chibi-Nightbreak exchanged panicked glances.
"Who's she?" Chibi-Nightbreak hissed.
"How should I know?" Chibi-Chaos snapped. "Do I pay attention to the secondary characters in her series?"
The girl on the couch continued to wave. "Beans, it's Catherine! We were wondering where you'd gotten to. A bunch of us were going out for a pizza run. Wanna join us?"
Looking like Pokerats caught in the headlight of an oncoming Gundam, Chibi-Nightbreak stammered, "Um, she's kinda tired and has to finish up a few assignments, so we're just going to take her upstairs to her room. Sorry!"
"All her base are belong to us, she is on the way to destruction," Chibi-Chaos helpfully added.
Chibi-Nightbreak shot him a strange look. But luckily, Chibi- Chaos was wearing a Kevlar shirt, and so the shot bounced right off his shirt...and right into his face.
With that said, Chibi-Nightbreak decided to go left with the mamequin, and Chibi-Chaos decided to go right with the mamequin. As a result, they tripped over each other, and the trio went tumbling across the common room, the two SD avatars faceplanting onto the floor. The mamequin pitched forward, its face dropping right into Catherine's lap.
Chibi-Nightbreak's eyes widened, whereas Chibi-Chaos cheerfully chimed, "Oh, look! She likes you!"
"Oh no, it looks like she's going to be sick!" Chibi- Nightbreak exclaimed, yanking the mamequin's head out from Catherine's thighs. "I told you that the oysters weren't safe at that seafood place, Beans! Come on, Chaos, let's get her to a bathroom."
Chibi-Chaos nodded and the two carried the mamequin through the common room and up one of the staircases leading to the dorm rooms. However, right at the top the mamequin's foot caught on the last step and tumbled right out of Chibi-Chaos and Chibi- Nightbreak's arms. The two whirled, staring in horror as the mamequin crashed headlong down the stairs and landed in a mangled heap at the bottom. Of course, this wouldn't have look so bad...had the mamequin's head not been knocked clean off from the rest of its body.
The students in the common room looked on in horror as the very lifelike face of Beans bounced right across the carpet and rolled in behind the television set. Chibi-Chaos scurried right after the severed head, retrieving it from behind the TV. Turning to the aghast room, he beamed and said, "Wow, isn't she such a great magician? David Copperfield, eat your heart out!"
Everyone in the common room was still staring at Chibi-Chaos in disbelief. He then realised it was probably a good idea to hide the mamequin's severed head behind his back, as opposed to displaying it for all to see. Sensing the eyes of everyone upon him, Chibi-Chaos tried to think of a way to discreetly slip away.
Obviously he was doomed from the word 'think.'
"Um...g'bye!" he exclaimed, dashing back out of the common room and up the stairs again. Chibi-Nightbreak stuck his head out from the guys' washroom and gestured for Chibi-Chaos to follow.
"Oh, thank goodness," he sighed in relief as he saw the mamequin's head being cradled in Chibi-Chaos' hands. "Who'd have thought body parts like that would fall off so easily?"
Chibi-Chaos shrugged, having a peculiar deja vu flashback to X the movie. "I had this strange urge to spike it and do a victory dance, " he confessed.
Seating the mamequin down on the floor (since the bathroom counters were much too high for either of the chibi avatars to reach), Chibi-Nightbreak appraised the damage to the mamequin and grimaced. "This isn't good. This so isn't good. How are we going to make her look alive, now that she's been decapitated?" He abruptly paused and looked down at the stump of the mamequin's neck. "Hey, wait a minute...why isn't there any blood?"
Chibi-Chaos shrugged. "Oh, this fic is only rated PG, so I bet the censors wouldn't allow something as gory as a beheading get described here. Now give me a hand and hold her steady. I'm going to try staple-gunning her head back on."
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