*          *

          Sitting in her F-1 Racing console (and atop about 4 engineering textbooks just so she could reach the steering wheel), Chibi-Beans sulked as she lost her 8th straight racing match against Haruka. "No fair," she sulked. "You're just teasing me, and I'm too nice to go self-gratuitous and beat the pants off you."
          Haruka grinned and tousled Chibi-Beans' hair. "Aw, poor Mame- chan. Though if Michiru were behind the wheel, I might just consider her beating the pants off me."
          "Down, Haruka-chan, down," Michiru laughed, the only spectator around to witness Haruka's flawless victories.
          "Maybe I'd have better luck if I let the mamequin pinch-drive for me," Chibi-Beans lamented as she slumped down in her seat. "Ne, Michiru, just how realistic is that dummy of me?"
          Michiru smiled coyly as she leaned against Haruka's F-1 Racing console. "Oh, very realistic. You'd be surprised at my attention to detail."
          Chibi-Beans paled, her eyes widening as a sweatdrop appeared. "A-Ano...."
          "And just when did you do all this paying attention, Michiru?" Haruka asked, rather suspicious of her partner.
          Michiru chuckled and whispered into Haruka's ear, "Remember when you spent all that time with James in the garage? Well, I got very lonely, and Beans was the only woman for me to turn to...."
          Chibi-Beans shook her head. "Please leave me out of your ecchi innuendo. Bad enough I'm wearing this sugarplum fairy dress of yours, Michiru."
          "So what would you like us to treat you to next, Mame-chan?" Haruka asked.
          After a moment of consideration, Chibi-Beans happily squeaked, "Ice cream sundaes and Silent Mobius TV episodes in my dorm room! Wai!"
          "You heard the Mame," Haruka said as she hopped out of her F- 1 racer.
          Michiru took Chibi-Beans out from the other racer, and then removed the cute little green helmet she had made just for Chibi- Beans. "Ne, Haruka, want to piggyback her to her room?"
          "Why me?" Haruka asked.
          Michiru held out a camera and beamed. "It'll make for such a cute picture! Actually, hold on just one moment, and let me fetch this Pero Pero costume for Beans. It's in the car, I'll be right back!"
          And off she skipped.
          "She's really starting to worry me," Chibi-Beans said.
          Haruka nodded. "This is the reason I've been stalling on her idea to buy a cabbit for the house."

          *          *

          Sneaking out of the men's bathroom with the mamequin proved to be a more difficult task than first considered, but Chibi-Chaos was able to provide a good distraction as one of the toilets started to overflow with attacking mecha piranhas.

Chibi-Chaos: o.O;; [thrashing about!] "ITAI!!! They've got my spleen!"

Chibi-Nightbreak: [dragging the mamequin outside] "Just let them get one of your kidneys too, and by then we should be in the clear. Follow us then!"

Chibi-Chaos: o.O;;; "KYAAAAA!!! They're eating the rough draft for my 'Mamorumatic' fic!"

Random resident #1: "Suddenly I think I can wait for the toilet a little bit longer."

Random resident #2: [eyebrow twitch!] "Mamo-wha?"

          Shaking off the last of the mecha piranhas, Chibi-Chaos scurried after Chibi-Nightbreak, and in his desperate attempt to escape the bathroom, he didn't look where he was going and collided with the mamequin.
          The mamequin tumbled right into a dorm room door, banging its head. Chibi-Chaos and Chibi-Nightbreak frantically tried to get it upright without the mamequin' head falling off again. However, as they grappled and scrambled against the door, Chibi-Nightbreak accidentally turned the knob. The door flung open, spilling Chibi- Chaos and Chibi-Nightbreak onto the floor. The mamequin, however, went flying right onto one of the beds...and into the arms of a couple of....er, coupling students.
          Needless to say, having your door flung open and someone resembling Beans jumping onto you and your girlfriend is not exactly the best way to enhance the romantic mood. "Beans!" someone on the bed exclaimed. "Wha...what are you?!"
          "So sorry, gotta run!" Chibi-Chaos exclaimed as he grabbed the Mamequin by the feet and dragged it facedown out of the room, the mamequin's head bumping against every tile in the floor.
          Chibi-Nightbreak added hastily as he brought up the rear, "Um...ganbaru!"
          The door slammed shut behind them, and the two SD avatars tried to catch their breaths in the hallway.
          "Well, that was embarrassing," Chibi-Nightbreak wheezed. "And what part of that scene was rated PG again?"
          "Hasn't anyone ever taught them to lock their doors?" Chibi- Chaos muttered as he slid the mamequin's hand off his face.
          "Beans' shirt is...rolled up from when you dragged her along the floor."
          Chibi-Chaos glanced over at the mamequin, and got a lot more fanservice than he had bargained for. "By the beard of Ikari Gendo!!"
          Chibi-Nightbreak's nose started to bleed. "Wow. I didn't know she was that stacked under all those bulky sweaters. Did you?"
          Chibi-Chaos shook his head, numerous sweatdrops orbiting his head. "No. I didn't realise they were that round and...perky."
          Chibi-Nightbreak slowly reached out a hand towards her chest, and Chibi-Chaos slapped it aside. "Don't do that!" Chibi-Chaos said. "Who are you, Havoc?"
          "Sorry," Chibi-Nightbreak said, blushing. "But they're perkier than yours when you're in female Haley mode."
          Chibi-Chaos scowled. "That was cold, Nightbreak. And uncalled for, I might add."
          They spun around as they heard someone tromping down the hall, the mamequin's shirt still rolled up. As a result, the mamequin nicely flashed poor Dan. Of course, such fanservice from Beans of all people was the last thing Dan had expected to see in journeying to his room, and he froze in utter surprise upon the sight of her bosoms.
          "I think we broke him," Chibi-Nightbreak mused, noticing how statuesque Dan had become. "Maybe we should put a bra on her before we continue."
          Chibi-Chaos was still shaking his head as he stared at the mamequin's cleavage. "Look at her nipples! They're Urushihara nipples! How dare she have better nipples than me!"
          "Chaos, will you cut that out!" Chibi-Nightbreak said, pulling the mamequin's shirt back down.
          "But I'm getting bested here!" Chibi-Chaos squeaked, rattling the mamequin. "Even in death she gets the better of me!"
          A scuffle ensued as Chibi-Chaos tried to throttle the mamequin, with Chibi-Nightbreak trying to break it up by pointing out that she was already dead and there was no point in fighting her. Yet this being Chibi-Chaos, soon enough there was a roving dustcloud with their heads, arms and legs sticking out at random intervals.
          Of course, this resulted in the mamequin's sweatpants being yanked down to the ankles by mistake during the melee. Chibi- Nightbreak and Chibi-Chaos were frozen solid for a good two minutes, their faces an impressive shade of red as they found themselves being mooned by the mamequin.
          Poor Dan passed right out and collapsed onto the floor.
          "A-Ano...." Chibi-Chaos stammered. "It would appear Beans went commando tonight."
          "I fear even speaking something aloud will incriminate me further," Chibi-Nightbreak said.
          "I didn't even know she was actually a blonde," Chibi-Chaos remarked, turning his head sideways. "So, think we should start calling her Mohawk-chan from now on?"
          Chibi-Nightbreak didn't seem to be impressed and hiked the mamequin's sweatpants back up. "You know, it took Beans about seven or eight chapters to really built up the integrity of College Life...and here it's taken us only five minutes to shred every last bit of dignity this series ever had."
          "Hai hai," Chibi-Chaos agreed. "Usually we do that in two minutes flat. Must be a slow omakefic."
          "With all those stupid omake theatre sketches, do you have to ask why?" retorted Chibi-Nightbreak.
          Chibi-Chaos abruptly paused as a curious wind blew through the hallway. "Ne, do you feel a draft?"
          "Either Havoc's here for a cameo," Chibi-Nightbreak said. His eyes widened. "Or that's the wind god from College Life 16! Finally, it's arrived!"
          Sure enough, around the corner of the hall came the wind god, which resembled a peculiar miniature tornado. Signs on the doors and posters tacked onto the bulletin boards rustled, and loose articles of clothing left on the floor were picked up and caught inside the wind god's vortex. Chibi-Chaos had to secure the mamequin to a door just to keep it from flying away.
          "Stand aside, Chaos," Chibi-Nightbreak said, stepping forward. "My Neko-Senshi can handle this."
          Chibi-Chaos sweatdropped. "Your...Neko-Senshi?"
          Chibi-Nightbreak nodded.
          "You have...furry catgirl versions of the Senshi?" the SD avatar pressed. "Been watching Tokyo Mew Mew for one too many episodes, have we?"
          Chibi-Nightbreak shrugged. "Each otaku to their own fetish."
          Chibi-Chaos rolled his eyes. "And some fanboys say I have bizarre crossover ideas. It's not like Death Phantom of the Opera was *that* bad a concept. Just tell me you don't unleash them from a Pokeball, Nightbreak."
          "Nah, nothing as tacky as that," Chibi-Nightbreak replied. "I've got a special whistle I blow, and they open up a pan- dimensional portal to make their entrance."
          Chibi-Chaos glanced around the somewhat narrow hallway. "Um, what portal?"
          "The one right above your head," Chibi-Nightbreak said moments before blowing his whistle.

Chibi-Chaos: ^^v "Wai! We'll just summon them through the pan- dimensional portal located right above my--(o.O;;) WHAT?!"

          [Cue 9 Neko-Senshi landing on top of Chibi-Chaos!]

Neko-Ami: ^^v "A perfect landing as always!"

Neko-Minako: "Is my bell and collar on right?"

Neko-Setsuna: [sweatdrop!] "Figures we get summoned right when I was using the litter box. You'd think I'd have seen this coming."

Neko-Rei: [sigh!] "Looks like I'll have to finish tongue-bathing myself later."

Neko-Haruka: "I wonder if they serve good sauces and milk here."

Neko-Michiru: "Ara, Haruka-chan, you're lactose-intolerant, remember?"

Neko-Makoto: [traditional macho pose!] "I can take on forty canine youma today!"

Neko-Hotaru: "Ewwww...I just stepped in someone's hairball!"

Neko-Usagi: "Agents of catnip and justice, bishoujo Neko-Senshi Sailor Moon! In the name of the yarnball, we shall punish you!"

Chibi-Chaos: -.-;; "Your spiked heels are already doing that, ladies. Get off me!"

          Chibi-Nightbreak quickly called his Neko-Senshi to attention, and pointed towards the wind god. "Ladies, this will be your most difficult mission yet," he stated. "I require that wind god. And remember, the first Neko-Senshi who can capture it for me gets a shiny new scratching post, and a free tick bath!"
          "Wai!" the Neko-Senshi cheered, and took off en masse towards the wind god, leaving a thoroughly trampled Chibi-Chaos behind them.
          They all attacked, launching Scratch-Me Chains, Dead Yowls, Yarn Snipers and even the dreaded Hairball Shaking. Of course, there was one notable problem: the wind god just absorbed all their attacks, not even worse for wear. And despite being a miniature tornado, the wind god's powers seemed quite capable of blowing up the skirts of the Neko-Senshi.
          "Of all the gods in the Aniverse you could have picked," Chibi-Chaos remarked, watching as the mini-tornado proceeded to pull Neko-Ami into its cyclone body and suck her clothes right off. "You had to choose the perverted one."
          Chibi-Nightbreak stared on in bewilderment. "How can something made of pure wind have any sort of libido in the first place?"
          "Daijobu!" Chibi-Chaos said, waving it aside. "Carnage gave me something specifically for this omakefic. We can catch the wind god with this!"
          Chibi-Nightbreak appraised Chibi-Chaos' latest secret weapon. "It's a vacuum cleaner."
          "Correction," Chibi-Chaos said with a grin. "It's a Shizuma Drive-powered vacuum cleaner, guaranteed to suck up even the peskiest of deities around."
          He checked the settings, then cranked the dial from 'exhaust' to 'light suction' to 'rip the tonsils right out of a Totoro'. With a diabolical smile on his face, Chibi-Chaos aimed the nozzle at the wind god.
          "Oooh, I'm so gonna suck now!" he crooned.

Chibi-Nightbreak: "Funny. That's what everyone's been saying about you since this series began."

Chibi-Chaos: ^^v "But at least I don't swallow!"

Chibi-Nightbreak: -.-;; "That answer is so wrong no matter how many ways I try to rationalize it."

          Within a few seconds, the wind god became trapped inside vacuum cleaner. There was one inherent problem with Chibi-Chaos' plan, however. Since the wind god was pure wind, sucking it into the vacuum meant it could still fly itself (and the vacuum) straight across the room.

Chibi-Nightbreak: "Not to mention the problems it would cause if someone didn't duck fast enough."

Chibi-Chaos: "Hm?"

          [Cue the possessed vacuum cleaner flying straight towards Chibi-Chaos' face!]

Chibi-Chaos: o.O;;


Chibi-Chaos: >.< "Itaaaaaiiii!!!"

Chibi-Nightbreak: [shrug!] "Oh well, at least it makes for quite the conversational piece. Come on, Chaos, let's rein in that vacuum."

Chibi-Chaos: ;_; "My head got caved in!"

          Possessed by the wind god, the vacuum cleaner took off. Namely after the Neko-Senshi, who scrambled frantically out of the way as the vacuum tried to use its nozzle to attach itself to rather strategic, furry body parts. Articles of clothing went flying in all directions, and the lights in the hallway began to flicker from the commotion being caused by the possessed vacuum.
          Chibi-Chaos stood by calmly as Neko-Rei leapt onto his face, screaming, "Tasukete!!" as the vacuum quite literally tried to get a little piece of tail. "I'd be flattered, if your claws weren't puncturing my lungs," he remarked.
          "Stay calm!" Chibi-Nightbreak exclaimed, ducking to the floor as the vacuum made another pass around the hallway. "We'll just wait until it tires itself out!" He sweatdropped as the vacuum nozzle made some amorous advances on a rather unwilling (and fleeing in terror) Neko-Setsuna. "Is anyone else getting this strange flashback to the rather poor excuse for naughty tentacles used in the La Blue Girl live-action movie?"

          *          *

          "Hm, what's all the commotion out there?" Haruka mused to herself as she held Chibi-Beans up to the bathroom sink to wash her super-deformed hands.
          All the excitement of the evening, not to mention the near three dozen bottles of Pepsi Chibi-Beans had consumed during dinner, had resulted in the li'l Bean's bladder needing some relief. It was just as well that they had been close to the women's showers and bathrooms in Chibi-Beans' residence; Haruka didn't want to have SD avatar piddle on the back of her shirt.
          Not to mention Michiru would spend the remainder of the night trying to get the stains out from her Pero Pero suit.
          "Wai wai!" Chibi-Beans giggled as she splashed the faucet water all around the sink. "This has been such a fun evening!"
          "She looks so cute when she's playing in the water," Michiru sighed wistfully, leaning back against the edge of the bathroom counters. "Maybe we could take her out to the pool sometime. I could make the most adorable swimsuit you'd ever seen. And then we could get some water-wings, and put her on a pink inflatable swimming horse!"
          Haruka stood Chibi-Beans on the counter and turned off the taps. "You know, it's reasons like this that Hotaru-chan doesn't like playing dress-up with you anymore, Michiru."
          Chibi-Beans gave an urgent tug on Haruka's sleeve.
          "What is it, Mame-chan?" Haruka asked, bending over so she was eye level with Chibi-Beans.
          Chibi-Beans nervously glanced to the bathroom door. "That noise you mentioned is getting louder...."

Page 6
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