The next morning, bright and early, Chaos-chan and Psyco-chan showed up at the Fanboys door. (OK, it was only an hour until school, but Chaos-chan insisted on getting a haircut.) But, as usual, the boys weren't awake.
[Carnage tiptoes around as he places Chaos inside loading bay oven for the Samurai Pizza Cats Delivery Cannon.]
Carnage: "Shhh! I can't wait to see the look on his face when he crashes into first period class today!"
Pesti: "The Mako-chan plushie he--er, she's sleeping with is a nice touch."
[Hotaru walks over and replaces the Mako-chan plushie with a Hotaru-chan plushie.]
Hotaru: "Much better!"
Ami-chan: [wiping Cream Lemon off her skirt] "Ano, Mayhem, is it alright if I go change in your room?"
Mayhem: "Hai hai. You might be safer in there from Havoc."
"I hope none of them sleep naked." said Chaos-chan.
Havoc: [bounding out Chaos' room with a pair of panties!] "Nah! Chaos here only sleeps half-nekkid as a female!"
[Cue the topless female Chaos chasing after Havoc!]
Chaos: [Gainax bounce!] "Get back here you pervert! I swear I'm gonna rip your lungs out!"
Pesti: "Ecchi! Chaos, this is not something I want to see this early in the morning!"
Anarchy: "I'm waaaaay too sober to witness that. Tasuki, baby, toss me another Hard Lemonade!"
[Carnage is clocked with a bottle of Hard Lemonade!]
Carnage: "Hey! You did that on purpose! FIREBALL!!!!!"
Tasuki: "LEKKA SHIEN!!!!"
Chaos: "Hotaru, look out!"
[Cue the pyrotechnics display!]
Anarchy: [in her AT Field with shades over her eyes] "Cool!"
Hotaru: "Chaos-chan, daijobu?"
Chaos: [li'l black cinder] "H-H-Hai...."
Hotaru: [hug!] "Arigato, Chaos."
Chaos: [groan!] "Oh no, not again!"
In response, Chaos-chan pulled out a set of lockpicks and opened the apartment door.
Mayhem: "Impressive considering there's still this big hole from Carnage's tank where the front door used to be."
Carnage: "Oh sure, blame the guy with the Giga Slave!"
They went and dragged a sleepy and irate group of fanboys from their beds, telling them to get ready while they made breakfast.
"Ara! All they have to drink in this fridge is Hard Lemonade!" Chaos-chan came over to look. "No wonder they had hangovers this morning!"
Havoc: "KYAAAA!!!! You mean someone ate my entire shelf of Jello and didn't invite me?! But who...?"
[Havoc glances down at the happily squeaking Rampage-chan.]
Rampage: ^-^ "BUUUUUUUURRRRRRPP!!!! CHU CHU!"
Havoc: [teary Bambi eyes!] "And you didn't even save me a jiggler?!"
[Pesti-chan hammers Havoc out of the apartment.]
Pesti: "IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR YOU JUST TO STAY SMITED FOR ONCE, HAVOC?!?!"
Havoc: "MWA HA HA HAH!!!! Call me Hentenno-sama!!"
Mayhem: "Havoc stay smited?"
Chaos: [sigh!] "At least this time he didn't go Cream Lemon on us."
[Cue the midair Cream Lemon explosion that covers the entire city block in...you know!]
Chaos: [flicking whipped cream off his nose] "It would appear I spoke to soon."
After finding no suitable breakfast foods, (Rampage and YaddaYadda got to the cereal before they did) the Senshi girls just made a pot of strong coffee and gave everyone a cup.
Pesti: "Yeow-zah! This stuff is strong!"
Anarchy: [chug chug!] "Ah, sake! How I love to drink thee! Let me count the bottles!"
Mayhem: "We might be here a while."
"Why do we have to be up this early?" whined Chaos. "School doesn't start for another hour! We can make it if we run!"
Ami-chan: [from Mayhem's room] "Carrot-chan, the zipper to my blouse is stuck. Would you mind coming in and helping me out of it?"
[Cue the spontaneous combustion!]
Mayhem and Pesti-chan nodded in sleepy agreement. "Well, we figured since we are going to the same school, we should go together. And we don't like being late." Psyco-chan said. "Yea." agreed Chaos-chan. "Detention is not our thing. Besides, it won't take long to get there in the car."
Carnage: "I call dibs for Chaos being in the trunk!"
Chaos: "Hai! I got dibs for riding in the--HEY!!"
The three fanboys perked up slightly at the mention of a free ride. "You're going to drive us?" asked Pesti-chan.
Carnage: "What's the matter with my T-74 tank?"
Mayhem: "Other than the wake of demolished cars you leave behind it? Genom's got Boomers looking for you ever since you attacked the president's limo in F6! part II, Carnage."
Carnage: "So I missed the prez and got Largo instead? Big deal; so the both of us can use Satellite Strike!"
Pesti: "Carnage, going through the main atrium of a business tower is not exactly what most people call a good shortcut."
Carnage: "Oh come on! Those stock brokers scattered in time to avoid the treads!"
"Sure. But the first one to smite anyone in OUR car gets thrown out at 80 miles per hour!" The evil glint in Chaos-chan's eyes when she said this was enough to fully wake up the still-slightly groggy fanboys. They suddenly noticed how she was dressed.
Chaos: "A...guy's uniform?"
Havoc: "I can fix that for you!"
Carnage: "Havoc, isn't there some Anime out there you haven't panty-pillaged yet that you should be at right now?"
Pesti: "I can't believe you're encouraging him."
Mayhem: "Would you rather the pervert stay here in the fanficfic?"
Pesti: "Next stop for Hentenno-sama: Street Fighter II V!!"
Havoc: "Hotcha! Come to Hentenno-sama, Chun-li!"
"Umm.." Mayhem ventured. "Psyco-chan is wearing a girl's uniform, so why aren't you?" Chaos-chan snorted. "The only time you'll see me in anything resembling a dress or skirt is in my Senshi Chaos form. Unlike some people!" Giving Lord Chaos a significant look.
Mayhem: "So she dresses in a guy's uniform. Haruka did that, as well as Utena."
Chaos: [stomping his feet!] "But neither of those two stole my name!!"
Pesti-chan whistled. "Wow. With your hair pinned up like that, from the front you look way to much like a guy." "Umm... Pesti-chan? My hair isn't pinned up,"
The boys looked, and sure enough, Chaos-chan's hair was now slightly shorter than Lord Chaos'.
Chaos: "Yes, but is it as silky smooth as mine? I use Pantene Pro-V with conditioner too! And those little scented bath bits add just a hint of strawberry fragrance to my skin too!"
Carnage: [eyebrow twitch!] "Little...scented...bath bits?!"
Pesti: "You've missed a lot of fanboy jokes from the first season, haven't you, Carnage?"
Hotaru: [hugging Chaos!] "Ara, but my Chaos-chan does smell quite nice."
Carnage: "*YOUR* Chaos-chan?!"
Chaos hid his head in his hands. "Great. Another Haruka-like tomboy Senshi!"
"Better than being a tomboy than a Sailor Dragqueen."
Chaos: "Hush, Chaos wanna-be!!"
[Cue the Demonic Head]
"SHUT UP ABOUT THAT ALREADY!!" Chaos's voice rattled the coffee cups. "IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A CHOICE!!"
Mayhem: "Chaos, let's talk decaff."
Pesti: "Do you mind not tipping my Moccacino?"
Everyone winced. Psyco-chan decided to change the subject. "Wait. Where is Anarchy this morning? Also, I didn't pay a lot of attention when I read the Fanboy fics before, but I remember their being four of you guys. What was the fourth one? Something with an H? Hentai...no...."
Chaos: [groan!] "No, don't summon him back here *again*!!"
Chaos-chan made a strangled noise. "No! His name is Havoc. If you're smart Psyco-chan, NEVER MENTION HIS NAME AGAIN!!"
"The boy has a serious problem around women. He is compelled to steal their panties and bras." Mayhem told Psyco-chan.
Havoc: "Compelled? Oh come on! This is what adventure and fun's all about! I'm the guy who's putting the 'fun' back into dysFUNctional!"
Mayhem: "Havoc, they haven't even managed to come up with a word to describe your problems yet."
Psyco-chan, now remembering the full extent of Lord Havoc's perversions, turned an odd shade of mauve. YaddaYadda, perched on her shoulder, matched her coloring exactly. "Please tell me he is not here!!"
[Author chuckles evilly]
[The fanboys glance around the apartment.]
Carnage: "Was that our author or hers?"
Pesti: "Either way, no good can come of this."
"Hey, did you guys hear something?" asked Pesti-chan.
"Yea. Sounded like laughing?" Chaos seemed unsure.
But the noise did not repeat itself, so Pesti-chan answered Psyco-chan's first question. "Anarchy is out with Tasuki. We usually don't see her during school, but she comes by afterwards." he said.
Mayhem: "Could you imagine if she *and* Havoc were in the same class as us at Jyuban?"
Chaos: "Not even Ganpachi, the Ultimate Teacher, would be able to keep order."
Carnage: "Hey! What about me?"
Pesti: "You still have to enroll. And besides you'd just Dragu Slave that cockroach-thingy for a teacher through the ceiling anyways."
Carnage: [evil grin!] "Definitely!"
Mayhem looked at his watch, (which was promptly devoured by Rampage, making the official amount of clocks in the apartment zero.) "Well," he sighed. "That was five dollars wasted. But it's time to go if we want to get to school on time, car or no car." They all piled into Chaos-chan and Psyco-chan's blue convertible. After more than a bit of jostling for good positions, the three fanboys where stuck into the back.
Carnage: "That's my seatbelt Mayhem! Yours is this one!"
Mayhem: "It is not!"
Carnage: "Is so!"
Mayhem: "Is not!"
Chaos: [in the middle of everyone!] "I've got to go the bathroom!"
Pesti: [sweatdrop!] "Baka baka."
"Remember what I said with the smitings." Chaos-chan told the boys. "Hai!" they chorused dutifully. And they got out onto the road. Now convertibles might look cool, but the winds play merry hell with anyone who has long, loose hair. So Psyco-chan was not pleased with her hair whipping all over. Pesti-chan was also displeased, because he was sitting behind her and was getting smacked repeatedly. So withdrawing a hair band from her bag, she drew her hair up into a ponytail.
Chaos: [standing up in the back seat!] "Look at me! I'm flying! I'm king of the world! I'm--!!"
[The fanboys wince as Chaos is clothes-lined by a stop sign.]
Chaos-chan glanced over at her. "Sugoi! Now except for your hair color, you look exactly like Mako-chan! That's cool! Maybe we can fool the other senshi into thinking you're her but with dyed hair!"
Chaos: "Even better, I can fool Pesti-chan and have a quiet date with my Mako-chan!"
Pesti: *WHOSE* Mako-chan?"
[Hotaru taps Chaos on the shoulder with Haruka's Space Sword.]
Hotaru: "Yes, Chaos-chan, *who's* Mako-chan is she?"
"That would be fun!" she agreed. "And what are you going to do? We are in the same grade as Haruka and Michiru and you look too much like Haruka with black hair. "Chaos and Pesti-chan were about to object loudly to the impersonating Mako-chan plan, when Psyco-chan noticed that something was amiss.
Chaos: "Ne, where's Havoc? Usually he's popped up again by now."
Pesti: "You want him to do that?"
Mayhem: "Anarchy and Tasuki slipped out too."
Carnage: "NA NI?! AN-CHAN!!!"
Mayhem: "Daijobu, Carnage. They're probably just going to have an Anything-Goes Martial Arts karaoke competition at the Cat Cafe."
Pesti: "Going up against Ranma 1/2's Doco team again, are they?"
"Hey! Where are Rampage and YaddaYadda?"
Chaos: "Who cares?!"
Chaos and Chaos-chan both flushed a deep red. Chaos sunk down low in the back seat. Unfortunately, Chaos-chan had no such option and bowed under the pressure of Psyco-chan giving her the Evil Eye. "Well....umm..see... we put them in the trunk...."
Rampage: [from inside the trunk!] "BUUUURRRPP!!! CHU CHU!"
Mayhem: "Well there goes the spare tire."
Chaos-chan was so startled by Psyco-chan's oversized demonic head that she lost control of the car and it swerved into the other lane for a second. The terrified fanboys in the backseat hung on for dear life. Luckily, she was able to get the car back under control before they all became long red road pancakes.
Carnage: [sulking] "I told you we should have gone in my T-74 tank, Lipulim-chan."
"PLEASE!!" Cried Chaos-chan. "Don't do that anymore! I know we're in an anime world, but it's just too freaky!" The fanboys sighed from the backseat. "Get used to it."
Fanboys: [looking over at Chaos] "Hai hai. "
Chaos: [oversized demonic head form!] "And just what is that supposed to--?!"
[Chaos' rant is abruptly ended as Pesti-chan sticks a cabbage into Chaos' oversized mouth.]
"I STILL WANT TO KNOW WHY YADDAYADDA AND RAMPAGE ARE IN THE TRUNK!"
Mayhem: "And after what happened in their first fanficfic, Psyco has to ask?"
"We thought that they would be safer there. Also, we would be safer with them there!" Chaos-chan attempted to explain.
"I don't care! When we get to school, they get let out. And if you two try anything like that again, I will hit you with the Smite of the LoveStruck Noonsa!"
Pesti: "Noonsa? What the hell's a Noonsa?"
Carnage: [shudder!] "Pray you never find out, Pesti-chan."
Mayhem: [gesturing back at Chaos & Havoc] "With those two around, you're going to find out all too quickly, Pesti-chan."
Chaos: [chasing Havoc] "Gimme back my panties, you pervert!"
Havoc: "Hotcha! You've gotta catch me first!"
"Meep!" This threat certainly seemed to bring Chaos-chan into line. But the Fanboys just looked confused.
"LoveStruck...Noonsa? Na ni??" They all said. Psyco-chan just grinned unpleasantly.
Mayhem: "That oversized Slayers' trout tries to kiss me and I'll sauté his ass with a Megadeth."
Carnage: "I'm not stopping at that. Noonsa comes near me and it's instant Dragu Slave."
They made it to school in one piece, and Chaos-chan let the mascots out of the trunk. "That wasn't such a good idea." she remarked. "Rampage ate the spare tire and the car jack!"
Pesti: "I'm just impressed she didn't eat the whole trunk."
Carnage: [rubbing Rampage's tummy!] "Yes, Rampage-chan, so how was the appetizer? And now for the entrée. Chaos, catch!"
Rampage: ^-^ "CHU CHU!"
Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
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