*          *          *

          Riot quietly stalked the empty upper decks of the Holy Fox, one hand poised to unsheathe his katana in the need arose. Each cautious step he made found his entire body poised for action. His eyes searched every fine detail on the ship as he made his way up towards the bridge, his ears trained for any noise that might give away one of the enemy guards.

Desolation: "There's a pair of Black Delmo's just around the corner on the right."

Riot: ^-^ "Domo! (o.O;;) Desolation? What in the seven most honourable hells are you doing here?"

Desolation: "Bleeding, mostly."

Riot: "Well, bleed quieter. I do not wish us to be caught. A samurai of my calibre would never live such a most dishonourable thing down."

          Riot rolled his eyes and continued down the corridor in utter silence, while Desolation brought up the rear as he loudly munched on some potato chips. The two Black Delmo's were put to sleep using a 200 year-old samurai pressure point technique Riot had recently learned in an issue of 'Martha Stewart's Samurai Living' magazine.
          Desolation just managed to get himself mangled by a rogue Lucifer Folk that happened to wander into the ship for no apparent reason.
          "Why must you follow me so?" Riot sighed, smacking Desolation upside the back of the head with one of Deso's severed arms. "You're one hundred years behind my level of stealth-fu."
          "That may be," Desolation replied. "But how good are you at regeneration-fu?"
          One of Riot's eyebrows went up. "Hmmm...I do not think I have encountered that most honourable form of martial art as of yet. When this is over, you must teach it to me."
          Desolation's eyes crossed as he looked up at the 'Wu' mark on his forehead. "Are you absolutely sure about that?"
          The two fanboys came to a junction between two of the hallways. Riot found a shadow to lurk within until he was certain it was safe to cross. Desolation just milled about in the middle of the hallway, confident in the knowledge that if he was sighted, he'd be rescued by a random smite tossed into the fic for no other good reason.
          Suddenly who should go racing across the intersecting corridor but Carnage, his hair in disarray, his clothes torn apart, and he was frantically lobbing low-level Slayers spells over his shoulder. "Tasukete!!" he exclaimed, vanishing down the other hall. "Make them stop! My boxers are the only intact things I have left!"
          Moments later an enormous mob of cheering, love-stricken Delmo girls came charging after him. "Wait, Carnage-sama!" they cried out. "We renounce our devotion to Hargen! We love you! Be our new Adam!"
          "You've got to be kidding meeeee!" Carnage's distant voice echoed from the depths of the ship.
          Riot and Desolation looked at each other and chorused, "Baka."
          They crossed the intersection and took a flight of stairs leading them to an upper deck.
          "We must be getting closer to the bridge," Riot said. "I can smell the most honourable fresh air."
          However, the second they turned another corner, they discovered that they could go no further. Standing in their way was the legendary secret agent, Miss Deep, famed for her ability to pass through solid matter.
          "And she's wearing a Golden Delmo uniform, no less," Riot remarked.
          Desolation scratched his head. "Aren't the Golden Delmo's the strongest and most lethal of all the Delmo officers?"
          Riot drew his katana and pointed the blade to Miss Deep's ample cleavage. "Indeed. I am most fortunate today, for at long last I find an opponent worthy of my anything-goes, martial arts smite-fu."
          Miss Deep regarded Riot with mild amusement, one of her hands cradling her chin. She smiled pleasantly and said, "By all means, if a lowly fanboy such as yourself thinks he can actually hit me."
          Riot bowed reverently and then assumed one of his attack stances. "Forgive me, most honourable Deep, but I must now hurt you so many times that your ancestors shall be in pain. Behold my own style of Hiten Mitsubishi Ryu: Crouching Fist of the Flatulent Tiger!"
          He charged her an instant later, becoming nothing more than a blur of colour and a whoosh of air. Riot slashed across Miss Deep's chest, spinning around as he completed the attack and slid to a stop.
          Now quite amused, Miss Deep turned around and peered down at her intact skin. "Failed," she announced.
          Riot gaped, and then regarded his sword. "My most honourable blade is flawless," he mused. "She must be skilled to effortlessly block one of my ultimate attacks."
          He straightened himself up and levelled his katana with Miss Deep's cleavage once more. "This time, I shall not hold back," he stated. "Hiten Mitsubishi Ryu, special attack, the second: Clatter, Rinse and Repeat of a Hundred Thousand Keroppe!"
          Riot attacked again, lunging and slicing what should have been her head off. However, his blade passed straight through Miss Deep, leaving a trail of golden sparkles behind it.
          "Failed," Miss Deep sighed.
          She lifted one of her legs and kicked Riot hard enough to send him crashing into one of the walls. Riot coughed, wiped a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth, and grinned. "I like her!" he exclaimed. "But I must first defeat her if I am to prove myself worthy of her love!"
          Desolation sweatdropped. "Who are you, Tatewaki Kuno?"
          Riot started flinging every sort of weapon he could at Miss Deep: swords, halberds, Gema balls, shuriken, mittens, yo-yo's, a rante, bolas, naginata, and even Desolation! But they all just passed straight through her without so much as any sort of effect.
          Golden Delmo Miss Deep flashed him a menacing smile as he hurled what looked to be his last weapon. "Ara, now what are you going to do, samurai?" she said, starting to advance on the defenceless fanboy. "None of your conventional weapons can hurt me."
          Riot exhaled and shook his head. "I never thought I would have to resort to this," he said, reaching into his bulky sleeves. "Now, vile temptress, prepare for my super-ultimate technique: rubber duckie-fu!"
          One of Miss Deep's eyebrows went up. "Oho, a new toy, have we? This should prove entertaining, though if this doesn't work, I will have to kill you."
          "I look forward to an honourable ritual disembowelment," Riot agreed pleasantly.
          Suddenly Havoc came tearing down the corridor and ran right through Miss Deep, the contact points going all white and glittery. And sure enough, as Havoc passed through her chest, he had her bra and panties in his hands.

Havoc: ^-^ "They're frilly! Hotcha!"

          "N-Na ni?!" Miss Deep exclaimed. "How could he do that?!"
          Shooting a murderous glare at Havoc's back, she took off after him, leaving a stunned Riot behind in her dustcloud. "Give me back my underwear, you thief!"
          Riot sighed and shook his head. "Most dishonourable."
          Desolation placed a consoling hand on Riot's shoulder. "Maybe it just wasn't meant to be after all, I guess."
          "She...she promised to make my death a quick and vicious one," Riot sniffled. "No one's ever used such a sexy technique of anything-goes, martial arts word-fu on me before."
          "There, there," Desolation said, leading Riot away to one of the mess halls. "I'll buy you a chocolate shake, find some horrible demon-monster for you to kill, and you'll feel all better, I promise!"


*          *          *

          And amidst all of this, the burning question must naturally be asked: if we turned the Digi Charat crew into a family of mobsters, would they be called 'The Sporanyo's?"
          Sac-beating that the author is no doubt going to receiver for that one aside, the other burning question that must naturally be asked here is: where has all the yuri gone? Where, oh where, indeed? Some would argue that a wandering pudding stuffed all the yuri into its satchel and made off, but since that's neither here nor there it must be somewhere else.
          After all, on a ship with this many Anime babes, there has to be at least one lemon-filled scene or twenty-two going on somewhere! But since this fic is only rated PG at best, we abhor such things! And we'll give all of you readers a naughty finger- wagging of justice and scold you for ever thinking of such perverted shenanigans, and...oh, who are we kidding?
          Long live fanservice!!!
          And no one was living it up better than Havoc, who had so far stripped over 86% of the ship's compliment either nekkid or down to their underwear. Coincidentally, he also had over 86% of the ship's compliment chasing after him down the corridors. Despite the guns a' blazing and the myriad of colourful death threats being hurled his way, Havoc remained totally oblivious to all this, thinking it was all a game of 'Capture the Thong'.
          So far the count was 456 thongs captured behind enemy panty- lines.
          Not a Delmo on the ship could stop Havoc as he darted in and out of rooms, bounded down the halls and leapt up stairwells with underwear being yanked off in his wake. Blue Delmo's, Black Delmo's and Pink Delmo's were all left helpless (and quite drafty) as Havoc passed them by.
          "Ah, if only the rest of the Benkyo Brigade could be here," he sighed wistfully, Chocolate Misu's panties now on his head. "We could divide into groups and assign each one a colour. The group who steals the most panties from that colour of Delmo girls wins a trip to the Pioneer Onsen Resort!"
          After all, if it doesn't have an onsen scene, it's not a Pioneer anime!
          Havoc grinned as he bounded ahead of all the Delmo girls chasing after him, careening around a corner and into yet another room for a session of pillage the panties. However, a surprise was waiting for him. Namely the elite Golden Delmo officers: Haruka, Michiru, Miss Deep, Ifurita, A-ko and Minni-May.

Desolation: [chasing after Havoc!] "Havoc, watch out! It's a trap!"

Havoc: "So why did you just run right into it after me?"

Desolation: >.< "Shimatta!"

          Havoc and Desolation turned around, only to watch as Golden Delmo Puchiko hit an alarm. The door closed and sealed the two fanboys inside.
          "We have you trapped now, dechu!" Golden Delmo leader, Ebichu, stated, pointing at Havoc.
          Alone with the several very irate-looking Golden Delmo's and their interesting array of weapons, Havoc & Desolation carefully and strategically evaluated his situation. "If only they had metal outfits like the Knight Sabres," Havoc mused. "I've got a fantastic magnet here that would strip them all nekkid in two seconds flat."
          "If that was the case, I've got a can opener in my pack somewhere too," Desolation helpfully added.
          The Golden Delmo Anime babes started to close in around them.
          "Your perverted antics end here, Havoc," Golden Delmo Haruka stated, ready to prime one of her World Shaking attacks.
          Golden Delmo A-ko cracked her knuckles. "We have orders from our beloved Hargen-sama to deliver you to the hell where otaku are skinned alive and then turned into rugs for the living rooms of Puchuu bears."
          Desolation turned to Havoc. "That's actually not so bad as they make it sound. The only problems I ever had was when a Puchuu didn't wipe his muddy feet off at the front door before walking all over me."

Golden Delmo's: "......"

          Havoc looked to each Golden Delmo in turn, and then much to their surprise, he removed his DOJI BOY sweater. Volumes of panties and bras toppled out in the process.
          "Well, ladies," he said. "While I do respect the fact that you are doing your duties, I cannot stand idly by and permit you to commit such crimes against hentai! Usually at a crucial scene like this, I'd ask you beautiful women 'Can't we just all perv along?', but that has been eclipsed by a blot of evil who's name is none other than Hargen!"
          "Hush!" Golden Delmo Michiru snapped, smacking Desolation across the side of the face. "Don't you dare speak ill of Hargen- sama like that ever again!"

Desolation: -.-;;; [turning to Havoc] "Why did I just get smacked for something you said?"

Havoc: [shrug!] "Panties?"

          "And why shouldn't I speak ill of that buffoon who prances and parades around like he was the author's gift to lemons?" Havoc retorted back at Michiru. "What has he done to earn your gratitude? To earn your respect? To earn your elegant choice of underwear?! Nothing, I tell you! He holds you captive here, prisoner to his twisted-tales-of-Tokyo whims. Why else are all of you wearing behaviour modifiers hidden inside the lining of your bras?"
          Upon hearing that, Havoc held aloft Golden Delmo Minni May's bra and tore open one of the cups, revealing a small microchip inside. Minni May shrieked, though more at the fact that Havoc had somehow managed to steal her bra, and then ruin it.
          "There will be other bras, dear Minni May-chan," Havoc soothed her. "But first consider what sort of a low-level pervert must first brainwash his babes into following him, and then further enforce it with these modifier chips? Does he truly appreciate the beauty and majesty of your forms? Does he adore the sensuous touch and feel of the female body? Does he want you to feel ecstatic pleasure, or is he just trying to get in his own sexual kicks at your expense?
          "Today he's going to use you all for sexual favours, and claim it's to repopulate the earth with more freak-biscuits like him. But what about tomorrow? Tomorrow Hargen might be swapping you with Akio in the backseat of the Akiocar! Is that the man you would call your own personal Hentenno? Do you want to serve a man like Hargen, a man who will never allow Rule 3 to exist just so his own pithy ego can be satisfied; a man who sleeps with his own sister?!"
          The Golden Delmo's resolve was beginning to waver.
          "Is there not a man here, cell-drawn or self-inserted, who would stand up and fight for your hentai rights?" Havoc exclaimed, starting to pace the room. "Is there not a hero who will help you rediscover the Tao of Rule 3, and the Zen of Fanservice? Is there not a hentai out there who will risk life and lemon to free you, and make you all masters of your own yuri?"

NinNin: ^^v "I'm here, Hentenno!"

          [Desolation turns around & shoots NinNin with a spare beam cannon!]

Havoc: "Thank you."

Desolation: ^-^ "Don't mention it."

          Havoc turned back to the Golden Delmo babes. "Well, there is, dammit! And he stands before you as the one, the true, the only Hentenno that has ever existed. He has created Hentopia. He has established Planet Hentai! He has found true inner perv in the serenity that is El Dojirado! And he will not let you women take this crap from some two-bit hentai hack like Hargen! Did Nagumo just sit back and let all those tentacle monsters overrun his school?"
          He paused to let the Golden Delmo's answer, but right about then they were at a complete loss for words. So it was left for Desolation to pick up Havoc's sentiment and exclaim dramatically, "NO!"
          "Exactly!" Havoc agreed. "For I may take your panties and your bras, and I may cop a feel off any of you, but I would never take...your yuri! So come and follow me if you wish to seek your freedom from this tyrannical fop. Or if you've been brainwashed into being that devoted to him, then you know what you must do. I will leave you with something that Hargen will never give you: the choice."
          His great speech done, Havoc let out a deep sigh and turned to face his executors. "You may fire at will, my loves."
          Golden Delmo Ifurita stepped forward and unleashed the full power of her staff at point-blank range.
          And in a very anti-climactic way, Cream Lemon ensued.
          Lots if it.
          Moments later, Havoc's head popped up from the chest-high levels of whipped cream. He grinned as he surveyed the dozens of stunned, Cream Lemon-covered and soon to be nekkid Golden Delmo girls. "I love my work," he sighed, tying the dorsal fin of a shark on top of his head before sinking into the whipped cream.
          "I love your work too," Desolation's head remarked as it drifted on by. "Ne, do you think you could point me to the rest of my body parts?"


*          *          *

          "Well, will ya look at that," Desolation remarked as he poked his head into one of the ship's doorways. "The entire gang of Hanaukyo Maids are working here as Pink Delmo's. I wonder if Taro is enjoying the fact that his mansion is so damned quiet right now..."
          Leaving the Hanaukyo Pink Delmo's to their feather-dusting, Desolation resumed his trek through the veritable maze of corridor's on Hargen's ship. Most unexpectedly, he came across a very cute, very stoic and very lethal Anime babe in the process.
          "Hey, Motoko-chan!" Desolation said cheerfully, waving to her. "It's me, Deso! Remember, I got lost at the Hinata Inn, you mistook me for Keitaro and sent me through those eighteen rooms on the second floor?"
          Motoko stayed as still as a statue, eyeing him coldly.
          "Um...anyhoo," Desolation continued, sensing the awkwardness in the conversation. "You wouldn't happen to know if the bridge is somewhere behind you, ne? I'm trying to find Captain Hargen and give him a big hug just as my scheduled 4pm Gundam colony drops on top of me."
          With that, Desolation tried to squeeze around Motoko. She, on the other hand, swung her bokken and created a whirlwind that send Desolation flying back down the hallway and right into a steam pipe.
          Motoko's eyes narrowed. "I move," she stated, "for no fan."
          Desolation pulled his head out from the pipe, his face nicely red and swollen from the hot steam inside. "Well, that wasn't very nice. Look, I'm going to have to go that way, since I know for a fact that behind me are an army of Black Delmo Naga clones, and that's one set of eardrums I don't intend to lose this fic."
          "None shall pass," Motoko stated, absolutely resolute.
          "But I must!" Desolation protested. "My Kasumi-chan's around here somewhere!"
          "Then," Motoko stated, drawing her bokken. "You shall die."
          Before Desolation could react, Motoko swung her bokken and cleaved his left arm off from the force of her 'Ougi, Raimenken ninotacki' attack. Without glancing over at Desolation, she sheathed her bokken and shook her head.
          "Now stand aside," she stated. "You have lost the battle."
          She turned around...only to find Desolation still standing and giving her the most annoyed expression ever as his severed arm lay on the floor. "Tis but a scratch!" Desolation huffed.
          "A scratch?!" Motoko protested, boggling at the fact that Desolation showed no signs of pain or injury at all. "Your arm's off!"
          "No, it isn't," Desolation said.
          Mokoto pointed down at his arm. "Well, what's that?"
          Desolation glanced down at his arm and shrugged. "I've had worse."
          "You lie!" Motoko exclaimed, unable to grasp the notion that Desolation wasn't feeling a thing. She drew out her bokken again and prepared for another strike.
          Desolation, on the other hand, danced around and gestured with his remaining good hand for her to try her luck. "Come on then!" he teased her. "Come on, you turtle-phobic sissy girl!"
          Upon hearing that insult, Mokoto's face went flushed and she unleashed a vicious whirlwind that sheared off Desolation's right arm off at the shoulder! The severed limb spun around in the air, splattering on the wall and sliding back down the floor, leaving a giant bloodstain behind it.
          Mokoto smirked victoriously. "Once again, my sword has cut an unworthy object," she said, sheathing her bokken.
          Her gloating was subsequently cut short as an armless Desolation raced over to her and kicked her in the butt. "Well, come on then!" Desolation said, still dancing around.
          "What?" Mokoto said incredulously. "How can you still be alive? Or conscious?"
          Desolation was enjoying the fight too much, though. "Oooh, had enough, eh?" he said, kicking her in the butt a few more times.
          The vein in Mokoto's forehead started throbbing as she lost all sense of composure. "Look, you stupid fanboy!" she exclaimed. "You've got no arms left!"
          Desolation glanced down from one bloodied shoulder to the other. "Just a flesh wound," he replied with as best a shrug as he could manage. Then he booted her in the rear yet again.

Mokoto: [eyebrow twitch!] "Look, will you stop that?"

Desolation: ^-^ "Chicken! Chicken!"

Mokoto: [grrrr!] "Unforgivable. I shall have your legs for this!"

          Seconds later there went Desolation's left leg, courtesy of her bokken. And naturally, Desolation didn't even notice, hopping around on his last remaining limb. Mokoto was beyond confuzzlement as the fanboy refused to die.
          "N-Na ni?" she muttered to herself.
          Desolation hopped over and started launching himself against her chest. "Come on, then! That the best you can do?"
          "And what do you plan on doing now?" Motoko answered dryly. "Bleed on me?"
          Desolation snorted. "Ha! I'm a 'Wu'! I'm immortal!"
          "You're a baka," Motoko retorted.
          "The 'Wu' always triumphs!" Desolation said, going for another mosh pit move. "Come on then!"
          Rolling her eyes, Motoko swung her bokken and sliced off Desolation's other leg. Now just a head and a torso, Desolation looked around all his severed limbs laid out around him. He glanced back up at Motoko.
          "All right," he said. "We'll call it a draw."
          Motoko shook her head. "Of all the intruders on this ship, why must I get the one who cannot take a hint and just die?"
          Suddenly Hinata Inn's flying turtle, Tama-chan, came flying down the corridor, letting out an overjoyed "Myuu!" upon seeing Motoko. And who was seated leisurely on Tama-chan but Desolation's very own Fairy Godbabbit!"

Fairy Godbabbit: ^^v "I'm back from my two-week vacation! What did I miss?"

Deso-torso: [shrug!] "Space and time being totally rearranged, a mass kidnapping of Anime babes, the end of the world and me getting all my limbs cut off."

Fairy Godbabbit: "So it's like any other Thursday night, ne?"

Deso-torso: "Yeah, pretty much."

Tama-chan: ^-^ "Myuuuuu!"

Motoko: @.@ "T-T-Turtle!!!"

          Needless to say, the turtle phobic Motoko shrieked and fled in terror as Tama-chan and the Fairy Godbabbit flew after her. Last Desolation saw, she was gaining ground as she rounded a corner... but the Fairy Godbabbit was strapping a jet engine to Tama-chan's back to compensate.
          Deso-torso sighed at her less than respectful retreat. "Oh, I see!" he shouted after her. "Running away, are we? Come back here and get what's coming to you! I'll bite your clothes off!"


*          *          *


From : "His lordship Chaos"

To : "Greenbeans" CC : "Nightbreak"

Subject : I Worship His Shadow Skill

Date : Sun, 27 Oct 2002 20:15:07 -0700

Dear Greenbeans,

After a most disastrous attempt to replace my kawaii writing assistants with kawaii writing Puchuu bears, I have decided to take your demands into consideration. I see from your most recent letter that my kawaii writing assistants are alive and being well treated, so I am open to some form of negotiations.

>1) Never chase after the lake god again. The kawaii writing staff will >remain in our custody until I am assured that no further... >transgressions...take place.

I, His lordship Chaos, the author, do hereby agree to never chase after the lake god again. Of course, I myself never even bothered doing that in the first place, so it works well for me. My avatar, Chaos, thanks you for allowing him to still hunt down what he claims is rightfully his mascot. From what I hear, you may be expecting a vacuum cleaner in the mail soon.

>2) You will only cross dress every other Wednesday on even numbered months >during the full moon.

Now while I was hoping to dress up as Dr. Frank-N-Fighter (complete with a sweet transsexual Sailor Starlight hotpants & bikini top) for the next Anime North convention, I shall agree to this. As a result, I shall instead be dressing up as androgynous creatures who have no overly apparent gender.

I expect that Puchuu-bear-Chaos will be quite the hit of AN03 next summer....

>3) You must be part of Quistis' whip show while wearing a Delmo dress.

Now this is problematic. Having just agreed not to cross-dress save for your noted exception, I cannot understand how you are going to arrange me wearing a Delmo dress for such a busy tour. Will Quistis' whip show be held only on every other Wednesday, on even numbered months during the full moon? That sounds rather unfair to Quistis, I must confess.

If she feels that you are not treating her well by giving her such a disappointing touring schedule, perhaps she would find that her skills would be better suited and appreciated here as one of my newest kawaii, female writing assistants. Do relay my fondest wishes and my offer to her when you see her next, ne?

Yours,

His lordship Chaos.

P.S.: I am sending you the fic I wrote while under the influence of the Puchuu bear assistants, a Pikachu & Mokona yaoi crossover. Ash tries to stop them, but gets tag-teamed by Ascot & Clef. As you are well trying not to imagine, things devolve from there. If you would be so kind as to read through it, and if you've somehow survived at the end, tell me if Oscar should get a cameo in all this.

P.P.S.: I'm also thinking of entitling this fic, "Under the Yum-Yum Tree." What do you think? ^^v


*          *          *

          Back at the fanboys' apartment, nothing was happening.
          Nothing at all.
          And for once, the fanboys were especially thrilled about it.
          "Gyaaaaa...I never want to have to go through a fic like this again," Pesti-chan sighed, placing a now empty bottle of Hard Lemonade next to the twenty-one empty bottles already on the dining room table. "Hargen as bad enough, but I still have no idea where on earth in the omakefic this scene is!"
          Dark Mayhem could only shrug as he reclined on the couch. "Don't look at me. We've searched the entire apartment and still haven't figured out where that blasted Milly Stone is."
          "I don't think it's all that bad," Hotaru offered as she rested on the other couch against Chaos and read a Sailor V manga. "At the very least, you guys managed to leave almost every woman in Tokyo indebted to you. Given how many times you've blown their houses up, or blown them up, or stripped them naked, or covered their neighbourhoods in Cream Lemon, I'm sure that debt balances things out."
          "Gee, that makes me feel so much better," Carnage scathingly retorted as he emerged from having a fresh bath in Chaos' wall scroll. "Water's still hot if anyone wants one. So long as you can actually relocate the bathroom."
          "Oooh, fanservice!" Havoc cheerfully exclaimed, opening the front door of the apartment. An enormous mound of panties toppled onto him. Havoc's head popped up moments later. "Shimatta! As much as I love panties, isn't there a door I can open that won't have nothing but underwear on the other side?!"
          Everyone else sweatdropped as they noticed the sleek, straddling-girl-shaped, golden epaulets Havoc was now sporting.
          "Havoc, it's been two days since Hargen went down in a blaze of idiocy," Pesti-chan groaned. "I think you can stop wearing your trophy now."
          Ruckus and Riot continued to play floor-to-ceiling ping pong with each other.
          "What worries me," Riot said. "Is that I have not yet seen Desolation in this scene. He's been in every scene this fic had to offer after the Milly Stone's discovery."
          Wanting a drink for himself, Dark Mayhem opened up the refrigerator door, and discovered that it opened up into a high school girl's phys. Ed. locker. A rather cramped naughty tentacle monster turned around, and one of its eyeball stocks scowled at him. Dark Mayhem stared at the naughty tentacle monster, and then wordlessly closed the fridge door.
          He paused for a moment, and then tried opening the fridge again.

Deso-head: ^-^ [atop the vegetable crisper!] "Ohayo gozaimasu!"

Dark Mayhem: "Problem solved, Riot!"

          "Well, the world is saved and we've got a chance to relax," Hotaru said. "What happens now?"
          Pesti-chan flipped on the TV set. "Havoc's obvious answer aside, ideally we can just sit back and enjoy ourselves."
          They chanced upon a latter episode of Slayers Try, namely one of the WTF episodes where nothing really made any sort of sense whatsoever. After yet another battle against Valgaarv, Lina Inverse (clad in an Alice in Wonderland dress) had just woken up in a straaaaaaange land where animals could talk, people's heads were made of vegetables, and she was being constantly attacked by rows of penguins with corkguns.
          Hotaru was confused more than anyone else. "What's going on?" she asked.
          "You know how it goes," Chaos sighed. "Halfway through any series, the writers run out of ideas. To cover up that fact, they slap in a bunch of episodes that look at quirky alternate realities, nonsensical ideas, or have the cast visit some new location. Whenever that happens, you know they're desperate for viewers, and have resorted to the lowest common denominator. It really is sad when any writer or any series gets so boring and unoriginal."
          Suddenly, Demolition came racing in from the cupboard beneath the sink. "Hey, guys, guess what?" he exclaimed. "I just won us tickets to a weekend at the Spring of Arliman. We're going spend the entire next fic in El Hazard!"

Fanboys: ^-^ "Wai! El hazard, El Hazard, El Hazard!"

Hotaru: ^^v "I'll be sure to wear that swimsuit I had on in that Sailormoon artbook too! Chaos-chan, care to help lace me up into it?"

Chaos: o.O;;

Haruka: [grrrrrrrrr!!!] "Chaos...!!!"

Michiru: [grabbing her whip!] "You think we're going to let you indulge in any more fanservice after you've already seen our Hime- chan in her bra?"

Chaos: ^^;;;; "A-Ano...it was a very nice bra!"

Haruka: "SHIN'NE!!"

Chaos: [run away! Run away!] "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

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