THE CURSED NARRATION OF THINGS HENTAI TO COME...

In 1995, the world of Sailor Moon fanfics was changed forever with but two single words: Artemis' Lover, a wonderfully delightful story for children about bestial hermaphrodites in love with talking magical cats. The fanfic's creator, Oscar, has been both credited for pushing controversial boundaries of fanficdom, and at the same time making people so damned nauseous that "tubthumping" was given a whole new meaning. It is believed that he is singlehandedly responsible for at least 2 months worth of profits for the manufacturers of Pepto-bismol and Aspirin.
Only one group dared brave the dangers of such a fanfic: the Megane 6.7 gang. Together, Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot and their creator Joel Robinson braved the rather vividly hentai fanfic and made one of the most famous MSTing lampoons of all time.
Numerous fanfics done by Oscar followed.
Numerous MSTings of those fanfics also followed.
And then in 1997, the great and perverted hermaphrodite named Oscar valiantly tried to salvage whatever was left of his dignified reputation...if any...and died to save the world from a meteor.
And there was much rejoicing.
Yet something as legendary as Oscar can only stay dead for so long before something dastardly hentai happens: a fanfic event so monumentous, so incredibly depraved, it could only mean one thing!!

Mayhem: "Why do I suddenly have an urge to take a shower or ten?"
Pesti: "Oh please, Kami-sama, no! Don't say it!"
Chaos: "KYAAAAAAAA!!!!! Avert your virgin eyes!"
Havoc: "Um...I'm not sure whether to be ecstatic or terrified here."
Mayhem: "Okay, now I'm really frightened."
Anarchy: "That's it! This is the one and only line I'm gonna have in this fic! You guys are on your own for this one!! Come, Rampage-chan! If Oscar makes a pass at you I'll AT Field his ass!!"
Rampage: ^-^ "CHU CHU!"
Pesti: "Curse our binding obligatory contracts!!"
Chaos: "We have to smite the author before he goes any further! Quick! A cow! A cow! My fanfic for a cow!! A cabbage! ANYTHING DAMMIT!!!!"
Mayhem: "It's heeeeeeeere."
All: "KYAAAAAAAAA!!!!! IT'S...!! IT'S...!"

[Cue the moviefic!!]

[Fanboy's Note: okay, this Fanboys fanfic will indeed have numerous depraved scenes, hentai moments and more bad puns than you could possibly imagine. I want to thank anyone whose hentaifics are "interrupted" during this presentation for having given me such wonderfully fiendish material. Once again, the only *real* portions that are my own work here are the romps of the Fanboys! and the MSTing the Megane gang does. Megane 6.7 belongs to its respect owners, writers, producers and so forth. The fanboys belong to me. Anything else was created by other people. YOU HEAR ME?! EVERYTHING ELSE IS NOT SOMETHING I WROTE!!!! Ahem. And now, if I may be allowed to brace myself for the incoming barrage of flamemails...]

THE FUTURE AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE...AND NEITHER IS THIS FANFIC!!!

Lord Chaos presents.
In association with Mystery Science Theater 3000.
A Fanboys! 6.7 production.

A CURSE OF THE FANBOYS! MOVIEFIC!!
-Oscar: Resurrection-

Part I: The Plot Thickens...

**We now take you to...[bum ba da bum!]**

DEEP 13
Dr. Clayton Forrester was in deep thought...which was appropriate considering he was in Deep 13. "Hmmm," the mad scientist thought to himself, tapping his lab countertop. "I could have sworn my fiendish recipe for thickening the plot with another mad attempt to conquer the world was here somewhere!"
He glanced over at his classy high-tech cloning chamber that also doubled as a refrigerator. The theory had been sound until all his test subjects were turned into large funky ice cube sculptures, and his celery stalks started multiplying at an exponential rate to dominate the chamber. And then to add insult to injury, this had all happened while he was demonstrating it to his arch-nemesis Joel Robinson, and Joel's two robots Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo.
Joel and Tom had started chanting "The celery stalks at midnight! Grab your potatoes and run while you still can!" while Crow had begun to hum the Psycho theme music.
"Argh!" he lamented. "For the first time I'm all out of fiendishly insidious ideas for world domination! I need inspiration!"
And with that, Dr. F. pulled out 'The Fraternal Order of Mad Sciences Cookbook to World Domination' and started leafing through the pages. After a few chapters his leaf-blower shorted out and he was forced to thumb his way through instead. But that's kinda beside the point, isn't it!
"Let's see...atomic death ray? No, too conventional...cornstarch? Nah, too messy...Ah! I have it!" Dr. Forrester turned to a burbling bunsen beaker over top of a microwave oven. "No..it's not here..."
Dr. F moved towards a bunch of filing cabinets, and stacks of old data and gadgets. "No...not here...so this is where my Dr. Wily coffee mug went to!...no, not here...not here or here...not here...this dialogue is getting a little monotonous...not here.. not anywhere! No! I'm all out of the fettucini noodles I need for this world domination recipe to thicken up the plot! Dammit, this is getting me nowhere."
Which is in itself an impressive thing since nowhere is actually somewhere regardless of where you were actually going or whether or not you were taking a round trip far or just a one way ticket to--
"Yes yes yes!" Dr. Forrester crankily exclaimed, thus cutting off the author's rant before it could move into yet another pointless in-flight movie joke. "There must be something here that could inspire me to do something fiendishly evil to dominate the world," he muttered darkly, pushing through the stacks of old and discarded ideas. Papers flew everywhere, which helped Dr. F realize he had forgotten to turn off his industrial-sized fan.
And then it happened.
Dr. Forrester's face slowly turned into a diabolically smiling as he pushed aside some more useless papers from the Megane 6.7 props department. "This is it!" he said excitedly. "This is it! My old list of hideously-written lemonfics I had subjected those three to!"
He quickly scanned the list until he found a very familiar name:
Oscar aka Artemis' Lover.
Dr. Forrester gave a gleefully malevolent grin. "Yes! I have it! I HAVE A WAY TO THICKEN THE PLOT!!"
Suddenly a light bulb clicked on over his head.
Dr. Forester paused, glancing over at his assistant Frank. "Frank, you fool! Unplug that lamp this instant! I told you never to touch my inventions! Just like when I warned you not to hit the frappe button on my Osterizer gender blender, but no! Although you did look cute in a skirt I must admit."
Frank gave his master a curious look and then shuffled over to another part of Deep 13. "Frappe...skirt...."
Dr. Forrester, on the other hand, was growing more excited with each passing sentence. "Finally, I, Dr. Forrester, have devised my most fiendishly insidious, demented, mad scientist plot to take over the world once again. Today Oscar's dead because he flew himself into a meteor. No more shall he write his infamous lemonfics. And now everyone thinks Oscar is gone for good. Sailor Moon fanfic authors everywhere must be sighing in relief, thinking that they can now write in peace."
With a graceful and mad ballet leap across Deep 13, Dr. Forrester happily embraced his dual refrigerator and cloning machine. "But what if I could find a genetic sample of Oscar and clone him! The lemonfic possibilities would be endless. First I tried to subject that Megane 6.7 gang of Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow T. Robot to those utterly perverted beyond perverted lemonfics of Oscar's. Yet they survived each one. Each one as an individual lemonfic! But they could never withstand one Oscarfic right after another, the lemonfics coming in faster than they could possibly hope to MST them!"
Abruptly Dr. F snapped out of his mad epiphany, pausing to consider something he had overlooked. He leaned over on his counter, staring at an array of television screens broadcasting over 100 cable and satellite channels.
"Hmmm..but how could I find a genetic sample of Oscar for cloning if he's dead? With no current Oscarfics for me to use, this old material is shoddy at best! Hmmm, what to do? What to do?"
And as luck would have it, he caught sight of an all new episode of Sliders.
"What? They're back again?!" Dr. F exclaimed. "That means even more hideous fanfics to subject Joel and his bots to, fanfics based on those guys leaping from parallel world to another parallel...world...That's it! Somewhere out there in another dimension of fanfics there lies an alter-ego of Oscar. And now all I have to do is find a portal. Yes! Yeeees! Plotting to rule the world is good! Plotting to rule the world is fun! Damn, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
As it turned out it wasn't just him, and yes Deep 13 was getting quite hot. And while a blank-looking Frank was busy pondering the philosophical implications of a yo-yo that didn't come back up, Dr. F turned back on his industrial-sized fan.
"Just think about it!" he exclaimed. "An infinite number of Oscars on an infinite number of keyboards will eventually define all that is truly depraved and hentai!! Not even Joel and his two robots could possibly handle the onslaught of an infinite number of Oscarfics, one right after the other! And when their minds turn to tapioca pudding, I can finally unleash it open all the major continents and minor islands too! Today, the Sailor Moon Romance Hentai page, tomorrow the world!"
Frank grunted, quite possibly in disapproval. "Echi...."
"Oh come on, Frank,' Dr. Forrester sighed. "What's the problem with you? After all, your brain is only the size of a walnut! No, wait a minute! That's right, your brain is a walnut! I switched them last week!"
"Walnut...." Frank said and lumbered over to a place where he could start ripping heads off a pile of Nutcrackers he seemed to have developed a sudden phobia for. "Lalala...way we behead...crackers...behead...nut...town."
"I certainly haven't noticed much of a change either," Dr. Forrester added, rolling his eyes. He returned to the thickening plot at hand...or foot (whichever appendage you want to chose) "But how to leap into another lemonfic?"
Luckily the Doc had his transdimensional teleportational cannon ready for such occasions. And with a quick wardrobe change from a white labcoat into a smashing set of sparkling grey, spandex tights and bodysuit (with the letter F and a lightening bolt emblazoned in the front), Dr. Forrester emerged. He tossed his white scarf around his neck and lifted the lab goggles from his eyes.
"Frank, is my transdimensional teleportational cannon ready yet?"
"Cannon...."
Dr. Forrester chuckled as a ridiculously enormous cannon muzzle was lowered into place. "Bwa ha ha! With this, I can fire myself at a high speed and tear a rip in the space-time fanfic continuum, and find myself inside the fanfic of Artemis' Lover in no time."
Frank's eyes widened as he looked the enormous length of the barrel. "Big...!"
"Who says size doesn't matter?!" Dr. F. cackled, putting on a stunt helmet and placing the goggles over his eyes. A few minutes later found our resident moviefic's mad scientist preparing for his flight at the base of the cannon.
"Prepare for liftoff!" he exclaimed, ready to close the hatch. "What? No, Frank, I do not want some complimentary peanuts for my flight!...No, I do not want a pillow either!...Oh, just give me that Insane Genius' Quarterly (IGQ) magazine for me to read."
Frank hoisted up one more item. "Fruit of the Loom..."
"Give me thaaaaat!!"
After settling down with his reading material (and clean pair of underwear), the hatch closed and the ridiculously huge cannon aimed and prepped, Dr. Forrester gave out the command to Frank. "Just push the button labelled PUSH, the big red one!"
Frank nodded and lumbered over to the big red button. "Push button...."
Abruptly all the lights in Deep 13 went dead.
Dr. Forrester emerged from the base of the cannon. "Where did my power supply go?" he muttered. "Frank, open up the generator box for my transdimensional tele...oh, you know what!"
"Open sesame..."
Frank opened up the panel and Dr. Forrester peered inside.
"EH?! Where did all my radioactive hamsters go! They escaped! Curses! And don't you start humming the tune of 'Born Free' at me, Frank," Dr. Forrester said, wagging a finger as his guinea pig-er, assistant. "Well if this is, pardon the pun, shot to hell then there must be some other contraption that can get me into another fanfic."
And with that Dr. Forrester consulted his ever handy resource book of The Mad Scientist Machine catalogue. After a quick look at the index Dr. Forrester found what he was looking for. "Ah, this is it!" he exclaimed. "A remote control of the gods! Let's see: 'control your destiny or the destiny of someone else by merely adjusting the play speed or tracking. Erase, record over or replay your friends and enemies as you see fit. Warning: should only be operated by a certified technician'...blah blah blah blah...WHAT?! OUT OF STOCK?!"
"Stock...." Frant said, proudly waving a decapitated nutcracker.
"Someone must have had the presence of mind to order it before I did," Dr. F said. "Then that means I must somehow located whoever has this remote and then find a way to transport myself into their reality to steal it!"

[Fanboy's Note: omitting of course the fact that it probably would have been easier and faster to just find another way to power up the transdimensional teleportational cannon and fire himself into the Artemis' Lover fanfic. But then where would the moviefic be?]

"Now," Dr. Forrester mused. "What kind of obviously cunning and no doubt intelligent people must I steal such a device as this...remote control of the gods from?"
Who indeed?
Simon & Garfunkel? Batman and Robin? Bilbo Baggins?
No, if you had even bothered to glance at the title of this moviefic you would most certainly know it could only be--!

[Cue the Fanboys!]

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