**Excerpt from Sailor Gay! Version 2., written by someone who has good reason to want to remain anonymous**

Sailor Gay! Version 2. (format change)Note.
If you do not like indecent material, please turn your head from the monitor
as the text scrolls down your screen. You know the rules.

One day Serena got fed up. "Fuck it," she said.
The other Sailors glanced at her in surprise as she got up to make a declaration: "I'm tired of all this bullshit. You all can say what you want but what I want to know is, who in here wants to get butt-naked and fuck me?"
The other Sailors glanced at each other, mouths wide open at this sudden and frank request. Amy, tugging her cuff nervously, said, "I would- like- to-"
Serena stared her down, waiting for her to finish. "Well?"
Mina and Lita were still in shock over the ordeal when Raye stood up.
"Serena what is this?!!" she snarled in her face.
Serena palmed Raye's face and pushed her backward. "Fuck off!"
This angered Raye greatly. In a second she was on top of Serena, beating at her face and tugging her hair.
Suddenly Amy leaped on the red-hot Raye and threw her off of Serena. Raye tumbled backward and hit her head on the wall, incapacitating her.
Serena looked over at Raye before turning back to Amy. "Nice throw."
Lita stood up. "Would someone please explain to me what the FUCK is going on?" Serena looked at her. "Why are you so mad, Lita-bee? Or, should I say Lita-Bi because you're bi-sexual, hence the reason I'm asking you in the first place!"
Lita, normally given to violent fits of anger, tried to stay calm this time. "Serena?" "What?" "You're right."
Lita ripped off her blouse and posed in the middle of the room. "I am Lita-Bi, champion of the lesbians of America! Thank you Sailor Moon, for helping me be proud of who I naturally am." She undid her bra and laid it softly on Serena's meatballs. "Uh, sure," replied Serena nervously.
Mina was watching as the three were kissing and rubbing each other down.
She listened to the sounds. "More breast, damn it!"

[CLICK!]

Chaos: "KYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
[Chaos' landing is softened by Lita-Bi's breasts!]
Lita-Bi: "N-n-na ni?!"
Chaos: [Bambi-eyed!] "Ah!! Mako-chan my goddess!"
Pesti: [wielding mallet!] "*YOUR* GODDESS?!"
Mayhem: [teary Bambi eyes!] "Ami-chan, how could you?! After all the spontaneous combustions we've shared together!"
>"Shutup and fuck!"

All: [wide-eyed SD form] "Kowai!!"
Chaos: "This is all your fault, you realize, Doctor Forrester!"
Dr. F: "*MY* fault?!"
>Then a sniffing noise.

Havoc: "[sniff sniff!] Wa...aha...ACHOOO!!"
Pesti: "I'd say 'God bless you' but our author is evidently not that kind of deity in this moviefic."
> Haruka walked right into the house and leaped right into the middle of the heap of girls.

[Chaos shrieks and clings to the ceiling!]
Chaos: "KYAAA!!! TASUKETEEEEE!!!"
>Before anyone could say anything, she said, "I can smell
>pussy from anywhere! I just knew that you girls would show your true colors
>I'm so proud of you all!"

Chaos: o.O
Pesti & Dr. F: "Aya."
Havoc: [flinging herself into the middle of the Sailor Senshi pile!] "Panties! Glorious silken treasures! Now this is my kinda moviefic!"
Chaos & Pesti: "SHADDUP, HAVOC!!!"
Dr. F: "What the?! This isn't Artemis' Lover! I've clicked myself into the wrong lemonfic."
Chaos: "That's hentaific!"
Dr. F: "Lemonfic!"
Chaos: "Hentaific!"
Pesti: "We're not here to debate the issue, you two!!!"
Serena: "Yuck! What are all these guys doing here?! I'm just here for pussy!"
Mayhem: "Yes, I think we've gathered that already."
[Serena turns to female Havoc!]
Serena: "Say, you're cute!"
Havoc: o.O
Chaos: [gripping his henshin stick!] "That's it! If this is the only way for me to be with my Mako-chan and not get smited, then who needs pride or dignity?! FANBOY PLANET POWER: MAKE UP!!"
Pesti: [with Cabbage O' Mass Destruction!!] "SHIN'NE!!!!!!!!!!!"
> At this point, Raye and Mina decided resistance to their sexual desires
>was futile, what with the pussy smell that was clouding the air around them.

Chaos: [checking underarm deodorant] "Say...you guys smell something?"
Mayhem: "Don't look at me. I showered an hour ago."
[Lita-Bi gropes a female Chaos!]
Lita-Bi: "You've got small breasts, girl!"
Chaos: "I have small breasts?! Ha! Don't make me laugh!"
[Chaos rips open the blouse part of his-er, her fuku.]
Lita-Bi & Mina: "Ah!! Sexy!!"
Chaos; "See?! This is female body to die for!"
[Cue the oversized demonic head of Pesti-chan...brandishing a flaming mallet!!!]
Mayhem: "Oh, you'll certainly be dying for this one, Little Miss Dragqueen."
Pesti: "CHAOS!!! SHIN'NE!!!!!!"
Havoc: "Hey! Get offa me Ami-chan! I can't steal your panties with your breasts in my face like this!"
Mayhem: [growl!] "Then let me help you, Havoc!!"
[Mayhem boots Havoc through the ceiling!]
Dr. F: "I can't take this anymore! Somebody stop the insanity! Where's the remote control of the gods?!"
[Cue the S&M Lita-Bi chasing female Chaos around the room!!]
Lita-Bi: [complete with dominatrix whip!] "OHO HOH HO HO HO!!!!! CALL ME THE QUEEN!!"
Chaos: "KYAAAAAA!!!! JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA!!!!"
Pesti: [with mallet!] "PREPARE FOR CABBAGE-FU, CHAOS!!!!"
Dr. Forrester: "Ha ha! Got it!"
[CLICK!]

* * *

**Excerpt from Evening At Lita's, part V, written by Vermilion**

Greetings and salutations!
This is it, the finale of this fanfic. I hope that you have enjoyed it so far. This chapter will have events that are considered impossible in real life. But hey, that's the beauty of writing fanfics.
Sailor Moon and company don't belong to me.
As if you didn't already know....
Now, let's wrap this story up.
*****************************************************************
EVENING AT LITA'S
by Vermilion

Chapter 5: 4-on-1: A Magical Climax
As the movie scrolled across the screen, Lita could hear noises coming from the bathroom. They were a variety of sounds from Raye screaming at Serena to banging of objects against the walls.
After a while of this, the noises stopped and Lita could hear the door opening.
"Lita." It was Mina in a sweet voice.
"Yes?"
"Come to the door."
Lita turned off the TV and walked to the door. When she got there, she could only see Mina's head peering through.
"What is it?" Lita asked.
"We're ready," Mina replied. "But first, you have to close your eyes."
Letting out a small sigh, Lita closed her eyes. She could then feel Mina grabbing her hand and walking her in. After taking a few steps, Lita could feel her clothes being removed.
"Hey," Lita surprisingly said, "what's the deal here?"
"Relax," Mina calmly answered. "I know what I'm doing."
After removing Lita's clothes and taking a few seconds to check out Lita's shaven slit, Mina went back to walking Lita toward the edge of the bathtub.
Mina said in an excited voice, "Okay now, open your eyes and get in the tub."
Lita opened her eyes and happiness filled her. She saw that the tub was filled with colored Jell-O. The others were sitting on each side naked(It's a big tub). There was a paper bag to the side of the tub but Lita didn't notice it. She was too busy admiring the view in front of her.
"How did you know?" Lita asked.
"Well," Mina answered, "remember when we discussed our fantasies? I figured since you made mine come true, I should make yours a reality."
"Yeah," Raye added. "You also made mine, Serena's, and Amy's come true. This is our way of thanking you."
Before Raye could finish, Lita was already in the tub, lying in the Jell-O. She looked up and around and saw that Serena was sitting behind her head, Raye and Amy on each side, and Mina by her legs.
"Relax now," Serena said in a passionate voice, "and join us in heaven." Serena then put her lips over Lita's and kissed her in a passion that not even Serena and Darien could match. As Lita indulged in the feeling, she could feel Amy and Raye grabbing her breasts and licking the nipples which were hard beyond explanation. Lita could only moan in pleasure when Serena's mouth left hers for air. The moans nearly became shrills when Mina decided to give Lita's beaver a taste test. As Mina licked the hair-free love box, Lita arched her head back. She was feeling pleasure in all four of her pleasure spots.
"Uhhhh.." she thought. "It feels so good. Huh?
What's going on?"
Lita raised her head up to see that Mina was reaching for something by the tub while Raye and Amy watched.
"Now for the good part," Serena seductively said to Lita. "I know you'll enjoy this."
"Hey Raye, Amy" Mina said. "Catch." She tossed two cans toward Amy and Raye. Both of them easily caught a can. They opened the cans with the labels facing Lita. When Lita saw that Raye and Amy were holding cans of whipped cream, she became turned on even more.
"Let's make a Jupiter sundae, Aims," was Raye's comment.
Amy just nodded and together, they began to cover Lita's melons with the whipped cream until they turned bright white.

[CLICK!!]

All: "KYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"
[The fanboys & Dr. Forrester land in the tub o' jello, Chaos face-planting into a pile of whipped cream!!]
Dr. F: "What the? You guys are still here?!"
Chaos: "Hm, that landing was surprisingly soft...and fruity too."
Mayhem: "Now there's a double entendre if I ever heard one. Chaos no echi."
Chaos: "I AM NOT A PERVERT!!!"
[The Sailor Scouts just stare in stunned, wide-eyed shock at the fanboys]
Mina: "What in the world?"
Dr. F: "Oh, you're not a pervert? You look like you hit the frappe button on my Osterizer gender blender!"
Chaos: "Hey! This is my disorder! Blame the author and not me!!"
Dr. F: "Then please do explain what it is you were doing in the last lemonfic."
Chaos: "Hentaific! I was trying to-never mind."
Pesti: "What is kind of hentaific is this?! This place is full of jello!!"
[Havoc starts spooning jello into bowls!]
Havoc: "Aw, come on! There's always room for jello!"
Chaos, Pesti, Mayhem & Dr. F: "SHADDUP, HAVOC!!!"
Lita: "Ah! That tickles!"
Pesti: "Quit touching her, Chaos!"
Chaos: "I am not touching her! Oh, wait, maybe that is her thigh after all."
Pesti: [pulls out a mallet from the jello!] "SHIN'NE!!!"
Mayhem: "This really is a big tub after all."
Havoc: "Whipped cream, anyone?"
Dr. F: [eyebrow twitch!] "Maybe I should add him...her to my list on Instant Monstrosities."
Chaos & Pesti: [oversized head!] "ARE YOU INSANE?!"
Mayhem: "With what he's trying to do now, I think that's implied."
Havoc: "Yo, we got any cherries around here?"
Chaos: "Okay, that's it! This is where I draw the line of really nasty hentai puns! Give me the damned remote, Doc!!"
Forrester: "It's mine I tell you! This is my plot for world domination, not yours! I stole this from you, fair and square!"

[CLICK!]

TO BE CONTINUED....

[Cue the obligatory Copyright stuff!]

The Curse of the Fanboys! and its related characters, disorders, smiting techniques and situations are all the puppets of my own warped little mind. Thus if you wish to use them, I'd like it if I was notified about it. If you do not...I shall send Havoc to you if you're female, and Skimehime-chan to you if you're male. Hermaphrodites shall be sent both.
hislordshipchaos@hotmail.com

Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and its related characters and situations are trademarks of and (c) 1994 by Best Brains, Inc. All Rights reserved.

If you want to leave a note on the desk of Megane 6.7 about what's gone on here (good, bad or ugly...Oscar, I'm looking in your general direction for that last one), simply write to the following address: fcasper@yesic.com

Artemis' Lover belongs to Oscar. I'm not about to take any credit for his fanfic. At all.

Sailor Gay (Version 2) is up for grabs since it's author is currently anonymous. If there is a sudden race to lay claim on it, I shall be very upset.

Evening At Lita's, parts 1-5 belong to Vermillion, and as a result from reading it his lordship Chaos has now sworn off all jello for the rest of his life.

Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are the property of their respective owners, creators, distributors and so forth. And Lord Chaos sincerely trusts he shall not be smited for including any of them in his series, let alone his fanfics.

Joel: "Don't complain, Crow. We get practically all of part 2 of the Oscar: Resurrection moviefic to ourselves."
Tom: "You mean we're getting equal billing with these fanboy guys...girls...transsexuals?"
Chaos: "HEY!"
Joel: [sigh!] "Nope. His lordship Chaos just found a fanfic so hideously written that he couldn't cut it down without feeling that he was robbing the public of some good MSTing."
Crow: "Oh goodie. They get all the action sequences and we get stuck with Tid-Bitz."
Tom: "Give me jello or give me death!"
Joel: "That can be arranged..."
Crow: "What? Jello or death?"
Joel: [sigh!] "Both."

[End!]

Onwards to Part II
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