Yet Another Fanboys! Fanficfic!!!
[Cue the Fanboys!]
Mayhem: "Ah, another day, another Anime brought to demented shame at our hands."
Chaos: "Another panty stolen by Havoc."
Pesti: "Another feel copped on my Mako-chan by you, Chaos."
Chaos: "Hey! I told you those were accidents! My hands move and her breasts just happen to get in the way!"
Pesti: "Oh yes, Chaos. You'd like me to believe that, ne? I can't believe you're my overlord sensei."
[Enter Anarchy and Rampage-chan!]
Pesti: "Anarchy? What are you doing here?"
Anarchy: "I had to come. This Fanboys! feature is young and innocent, and I of course have to be here to annihilate anything you so much as try to leave intact."
Mayhem: [dryly] "How thoughtful of you, Anarchy."
Anarchy: "Watch it, Mayhem, lest I show you these!"
[Anarchy throws a barrage of photographs at Mayhem!]
Pesti: "Hm? Na ni?"
Chaos: "Ah, sugoi! These are pictures of Ami-chan undressing!!"
[Mayhem's faulty dating chromosome kicks into high gear. Mayhem immediately shreds the photograph and Chaos' shirt.]
Chaos: "Hey! You're turning my Deathscythe shirt into Deathscythe ribbons!!"
Pesti: "A new Gundam Wing marketing gimmick is born?"
Rampage: ^_^ "CHU CHU!"
Chaos: "KYAAA!!! She's turning my Deathscythe ribbons into Deathscythe happy meals!"
[Mayhem twitches & rattles uncontrollably as Pesti-chan flips the photographs]
Pesti: "Aya! She's in a wet, see-through T-shirt!"
Mayhem: "Ami-chan? Wet T-shirt?"
[Mayhem spontaneously combusts, a smouldering pile o' Fanboy left standing.]
Chaos: [suspiciously!] "Anarchy, just how did you manage to procure these photos of Ami?"
Anarchy: "Hentai! Read the back, you moron."
Pesti: "'Come see me tonight, lover. Ami-chan'."
[A smouldering Mayhem spontaneously combusts again!]
Chaos: "I'm suddenly having seconds thoughts about letting the author get away with that Dark Schnieder transformation. Ami-chan fans everywhere are not going to be pleased that Mayhem's living out their fantasies of her being a kawaii, purring sexy kitten."
Pesti: "Um, did we actually gather here for something, or what?"
[Chaos dusts off Mayhem]
Chaos: "Hai! I believe we're here to kick back and enjoy another round of fanficifcs, tribute fanfics based on our Fanboys! fanfics. Ah, this is the super deformed life, ne?"
Anarchy: "And I have the perfect fanficfic four our viewing pleasure. In fact, Chaos is bound to like this more than anyone else."
Chaos: [excitedly!] "Honto ni?!"
[Cue Anarchy's diabolically evil, fanged grin]
Anarchy: "Oh, I guarantee it'll be a Fanboys! tribute you won't soon forget."
Mayhem: "You know, Pesti, whenever Anarchy gets that grin on her face no good can come of the next few pages."
Pesti: "So why are you still here?"
Mayhem: "It appears no good shall come to Chaos."
Pesti: [takes out pan-dimensional bowl o' popcorn!] "Oooh! I like, I like! Popcorn, Mayhem?"
Mayhem: "Why, certainly. Gummi bears, Pesti-chan?"
Chaos: "So who's writing this, anyways? Is it someone we know?'
Anarchy: "I'd say so. In fact I think she'd be rather hard to forget."
Chaos: "A girl wrote this?! Yes yes yes yes yes!!!!! We've got adoring female fans! This is good for me! I can feel it!"
Mayhem: [aside to Pesti] "So can I: some fanfic wicked this way comes."
Pesti: "Hai. But who could possibly know Chaos that well, and be someone Anarchy wants to torment him with?"
Mayhem: "Beans doing a Fanboys! revengefic?"
Havoc: "Skimehime-chan in a cameo role?"
[Mayhem & Pesti glance over at the smiling Havoc.]
Pesti: "I'd ask if you had anyplace better to be right now, but I fear of what hentai realm you've been permanently banned for life from now."
Havoc: [sigh!] "You know, I thought Kaguya of all Anime babes wouldn't have a problem if I stripped her naked and stole her panties. But no! She screamed for this dwarf-looking guy, Pipi, and they booted me out. The nerve of some sex goddesses!!"
Chaos: "Excuse me, but I'm trying to bathe in stardom. Do you mind?"
[Havoc, Mayhem & Pesti-chan glance at each other]
All: "No, we don't mind."
Anarchy: "Enough with the intro. bit! Scroll the fanficfic. Pesti-chan, get the camera ready. I want to immortalise the look on Chaos' face when he witnesses this."
Hee hee, I cometh Chaos. Be prepared. Vengeance will strike...in the form of a fanfic! Bwahahahahaha!!!! Anyway, this isn't my usual style, so don't expect anything great. I write more serious stuff, not comedy.
Mayhem: "Oho! So this is a revengefic after all!"
Chaos: "She wants to kiss me!! Oh, how I have dreamed for this day!"
Pesti: "In that case, Mako-chan and I will be going out on a date tomorrow."
Chaos: "OH NO, YOU DON'T, PESTI-CHAN!!!"
Pesti: "You would two-time my Mako-chan? You lecherous Ataru, you!"
Chaos: "Want me to smite your Zoantropic little ass, Pesti-chan?!"
Pesti: "Ha! At least when I smite someone I don't do it in high heels!"
Chaos: "Do you have a problem with my high heels, Pesti-chan?"
Pesti: "Aside from you wearing them right now and not having transformed into Sailor Haley?"
Anarchy: "Would you two cut that out?! There will be plenty of time for all that petty-bickering over Makoto in F5!, so just sit back and enjoy this fanficfic."
Chaos: "So who is the author anyways?"
Mayhem: "The next few sentences should be rather interesting."
Chaos: "POLARIS?! SAILOR FREAKING STAR POLARIS?!?!"
Pesti: "As in the girl who, after wiping out Chaos with a few Star Gentle Uteruses, had this weird dream about where she was this strange, Shampoo-looking Sailor Lust girl who was making hot passes at Chaos because she thought he was a she-male?"
Mayhem: "The same. Incidentally, nice intro segment."
Pesti: "Well, the readers do have to understand where lot of those personal jokes come from. Either way, to be dreaming about us does give way to fearful obsessions."
Chaos: "[Groan!] Why do I suddenly have this sinking feeling about this fanficfic?"
Anarchy: [snaps her fingers] "In that case, let me help you stay afloat. I don't want you to miss any of this!"
[Cue the lifeboat crashing through the ceiling and smiting an SD Chaos!]
Curse of the Fanboys! Special 2: Attack of the fangirl
(that would be me *tee hee*)
Chaos: "Attack?! Oh man, this is not going to be a pleasant fanficfic to read!"
Anarchy: "Oh come on, Chaos! The rest of us will have a great time watching you suffer!"
Chaos: [lamenting] "Why couldn't I have had Kotori for a little sister?"
Pesti: "Hey, if Kotori was your sister she's have a sword ripped out from her chest by Fuma. And then I'd have to fight him!"
Deep in the heart of the Low Country (South Carolina if you didn't know), a young fan eagerly read the computer screen which she had been glued to for several hours.
Chaos: "You can stay that way for all I care Polaris!!!"
Pesti: "I don't think the break between those two will be healing all too soon."
Mayhem: "Hai hai. But until it does, this should be fun to read."
"Ha ha! That Mayhem guy is a hoot!" she chirped. Suddenly, her visage hardened. "So, his lordship challenges me. After I shared my dream with him and all. I won't let him get away with just an e-mail *this* time!"
She hopped up and picked up a near-by phone. With incredible speed that would outdo any auto-dialer, she rang up an old friend from school.
"Moshi moshi Anarchy-sama? Remember that favour you owe me? Well, I want to call it." She listened for a moment. "Great. I'll be ready in an hour."
[Chaos slowly turns to Anarchy]
Chaos: [VERY unimpressed] "I should have known."
Anarchy: "You mean you actually had doubts?"
She hung up the phone, then smiled evilly. "Vengeance will be mine. You hear me Chaos? VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Chaos: [mock Aussie voice!] "That's not an evil overlord cackle. This is an evil overlord cackle: MWAH HA HAH HAH HA HA HA--KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
Rampage: ^-^ "CHU CHU!"
Chaos: "SHE'S GOT MY ARM!!!!! TASUKETEEEE!!!!!"
Pesti: "So much for that cackle."
One dimension over, the fanboy in question woke up as if he had experienced a bad dream.
"KYAAAAA!!!!" he exclaimed. Chaos looked around and found himself on the kitchen floor.
"What's wrong?" asked Pesti, who had been up for some time. He was reading the newspaper at the kitchen table.
"I just had an awful flash-thought that something bad was going to happen today."
"There you go thinking again." Just then, a miniature cow landed on Pesti-chan's head. "Why so small?"
"It's too early to smite you with a bigger one. I'm going back to sleep."
Chaos: "Noo! It's like "A Nightmare In The Fanfic", and Sailor Star Polaris is Freddy Kruger!!"
[Cue the Gentle Uterus that crashes through the ceiling and smites Chaos!]
Mayhem: "I think she heard that."
"Don't bother. Your alarm is about to go off." No sooner had he spoken than Chaos' alarm burst to life before being devoured by Rampage. "That's the third one this week. Oh well, time to get ready for school."
"Hey, why was my alarm in the kitchen? Why am *I* in the kitchen?"
"Can you say 'Hard Lemonade drinking contest'?"
"Ara. Did I win?"
"Nope. Ami-chan did."
"That chick has one and suddenly she can outdrink me?"
Pesti just smiled and left while Chaos decided to see if there was anything to eat for breakfast.
* * *
"Hello Daitokuji-san. It's an honour to have you here at our school.
Gravitron High is losing an exemplary student." said the secretary. It
was obvious that she was buttering up to the new student.
Mayhem: "Hai, lest her Arashiyama Five show up pretending to be vacuum cleaner salesmen."
Pesti: "That's a frightening thought."
"Hai, I know. Remember, I must be in the same class as Maxwell Duo, understand?"
"Perfectly. I'll process you right away." The secretary began to type away at a near-by computer.
* * *
Our three heroes were walking towards school slowly. Chaos and Pestilence were in a less than cheerful mood since they found out that Makoto would be out for a few days due to a cold. Mayhem was still happy though; Ami wouldn't miss a day of school for anything.
[Mayhem twitches over the "sexy pose" photos of his queen goddess]
Pesti: "I swear his faulty dating chromosome gets worse with each passing fanfic."
"I can't believe this!" exclaimed Chaos suddenly. "My sweet goddess
Mako-chan is gone. Gone!"
"Yare yare, you make it sound like she's dead." replied Mayhem.
"Don't think that! It might happen." said Pesti.
Mayhem sighed. "You two are sooo obsessed."
Pesti: "This coming from the fanboy who goes catatonic whenever she's around."
[A freaked out Chaos puts a stranglehold on his chair's armrests, nearly tearing them from the frame.]
Anarchy: "Chaos might also want to change his medication after this...and his pants."
"Oh, like you don't dream about Ami-chan every night." taunted Chaos.
"So?" he replied, as if dreaming about Ami was bad. The conversation was going nowhere, but that didn't really matter since Chaos decided to change the subject.
"I have this weird feeling that today isn't going to be my day."
Pesti: "Oh, Chaos has that feeling everyday. And it always comes true!"
"That's the second time you've said that, but you never know." said Pesti as the school came into view. "Maybe you'll meet the girl of your dreams." At the word 'dream' Chaos shuddered. "Na ni?"
"Girl of my dreams is a scary thought."
Pesti: "I've heard of women who want him dead, but none who just want him."
Chaos: [growl!] "......"
"I got an evil e-mail from some chick about a dream. She made it seem like I was a she-male."
"Well you are!" said Havoc, suddenly popping up from nowhere. The three fanboys took a defensive position while glaring at Havoc bug-eyed.
Havoc: "Hotcha! Even in a fanficfic, his lordship Hentenno-sama reigns supreme!! Now all we need is a Doji-fest and this tribute fanfic shall be complete!!"
[Chaos punts Havoc through the ceiling]
Chaos: "Happosai was never this bad, was he?"
"Where did you come from?!" yelled Mayhem.
"Annapuna and Unipuma's hide-out. Yum!" He held up a pair of frilly bras and smiled. "Hello catgirls!"
"Hentai." grumbled the three.
[Havoc crashes back in through the ceiling, his landing softened by Chaos]
Mayhem: "That was quick. And where did you come from?"
Havoc: [grin!] "Ana-puna and Una-puna's hideout! Hotcha!"
[Havoc holds up a pair of frilly bras, and smiles]
Havoc: "Helloooooo catgirls!"
Chaos & Pesti: "Hentai!!"
Mayhem: "Ne, Anarchy, is it just me getting a flash of fanfic déjà vu here?"
Anarchy: "Shh! Polaris is about to make her entrance!"
"Hey! Isn't that Shampoo over there?" pointed Pesti suddenly. Chaos shuddered again as Havoc happily skipped off in search of the Chinese Amazon.
"Let me guess, the e-mail dream?" asked Mayhem.
"Yup, this chick said she was Sailor Lust, or something, and she looked like Shampoo. I thought I told you guys about it." Just then, the first bell rang. "Shimatta! We're gonna be late." They dashed off towards the school at breakneck speed in the hopes that they'd get there on time.
* * *
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