Chaos sat sullenly, occasionally looking at Mako-chan's empty desk. "Poor, Mako-chan. I hope she's doing ok." he said. A piece of chalk suddenly hit his head. "Na ni?!" He looked up to see sensei glaring at him.
"Now that I've got your attention, would you care to answer the question?"
"Could you repeat it?" he asked meekly. Mayhem and Pesti snickered quietly, enjoying the fact that Chaos was in trouble.
"No, but I can give you after-school detention. I'll see you after class Duo-san."
Mayhem: "Hm, strange. After his first after-school detention with Chaos, the teacher then said that he'd only send Chaos into the hallway."
Anarchy: "With Chaos, you bother asking why?"
"Shimatta," Chaos sighed. The sensei was about to make it two days detention where there was a knock at the door.
"Very smooth, baka," heckled Pesti.
"I'm not helping you with your smiting powers anymore." hissed Chaos.
Chaos: [sulking] "Why is it that all the fanficfics we get seem to take gleefully sadistic pleasure in tormenting me?"
Mayhem: "Who else freaks out and goes all super deformed as kawaii as you do, Chaos?"
Chaos: "I detest you right now, Mayhem."
Mayhem: [shrug!] "Popcorn?"
Chaos: "Hush, Newt-boy....um, you got any Junior Mints there?"
Rampage: ^_^ "[BUUUUUURP!] CHU CHU!!"
Chaos: "Dammit, our carnivorous, SD Godzilla-thingy for a mascot ate all of my Junior Mints!! Anarchy, technically she's your pet! Do something about this!"
[Anarchy pats Rampage on the head]
Anarchy: "Good girl!"
Rampage: ^_^ "CHU CHU!"
"Class, we have a new student with us today. I'd like you all to
welcome Daitokuji B-ko."
Mayhem: "And somewhere out there, A-ko is frantically dragging along C-ko and running down Agent D in a mad attempt to get to Gravitron High on time."
Chaos: o_O "Ne, Pesti-chan, you remember that sinking feeling I had earlier?"
Chaos: "It's now sinking faster than my 'Titanic Muyo!' fanfic ever could have dreamed."
Anarchy: [Jack Nicholson imitation!] "Heeeeeeeere's Polaris!!"
The fanboys eagerly looked at the door, expecting a hot looking lavander-haired babe wearing an Akagiyama 23 Power Biosuit (yes it's spelled right!) to walk in, but instead a brunette entered. Mayhem and Pesti were slightly disappointed, but still happy since the girl was still rather pretty.
Chaos, on the other hand, went SD and screamed while pointing at the girl as "It's her!" scrolled behind his head. Then in a show of bravery, he dove under his desk.
Pesti: "That is how he typically reacts if he sticks his hand into his desk and discovers Rampage in there grazing on his textbooks.
"Duo-san! What is your problem?" demanded the sensei.
"It's...HER!!!" he screamed. He covered his head with his hands and squeezed his eyes shut.
Chaos: "KYAAAAA!!! IT'S SAILOR STAR POLARIS!!! HE-SHE-IT'S COME TO DATE ME!!! TASUKETE!!!!"
[Cue the frantic SD Chaos frenzied dance!]
Anarchy: "[Tee hee!] Good thing I brought along a camera. I can't wait to let him relive the moment along with the rest of Jyuban high!"
Anarchy: "Wow, is he ever making an idiot of himself! Ne, Cameraman Dan, make sure you get a good close-up of his eyes bugging out."
[Cameraman Dan gives a thumbs-up and moves in closer]
"Nani? Duo-san, get out here right now!"
"Excuse me?" The sensei was about to get physical when B-ko walked over.
"Allow me sensei." He relented to the new student. She crouched down by the desk and put her mouth by Chaos' ear. "Ohayo Chaos." she whispered.
Chaos screamed again and jumped up about 5 feet, breaking through the desk and landing on Pesti, clinging for life.
Pesti: "I am not amused."
Mayhem: "I am."
Pesti: "Hush, Newt-boy!!"
"Get off me Haley!"
"I TOLD YOU NEVER TO CALL ME THAT!!!" he screamed.
"Duo-san!" Chaos immediately turned toward the sensei, still holding onto Pesti-chan. "I want you to show B-ko-san around the school."
"But sensei..!" Pesti dropped Chaos like a bad habit.
"DO IT NOW!!" Chaos looked at his friends for hope.
Mayhem: "The teacher will try to find any excuse to have Chaos out of the classroom and make it a little more peaceful."
"Can they come with me?" he asked, pointing at Pesti and Mayhem.
"Fine, just get out of my class." sighed the sensei. Mayhem frowned, sad that he had to leave Ami-chan, while Pesti was happy to get out of class.
Pesti: "I don't see why we have to take part in this."
Anarchy: "It's part of your contracts, remember?"
The four students were about five doors down from their class before Chaos began to talk. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to learn." replied B-ko sweetly.
Havoc: "Don't just stand there, man! Grab her panties!"
[Chaos clobbers Havoc with a cow.]
Chaos: "Don't you have anything better to do, Havoc?!"
"Chaos, chill. We don't need anymore enemies." said Mayhem.
Mayhem: "Too late."
"She's already an enemy. It doesn't count." Sweatdrops formed on Pesti and Mayhem. "You want to explain?"
"Fine. Her real name isn't B-Ko, it's Morgan Skye AKA Sailor Star Polaris. She's an otaku too, and an evil one at that."
Havoc suddenly popped up. "Poor thing. You've been pulled into this world like us." Her took her hand and stroked it for comfort. "Allow me to steal your panties to ease your pain."
Mayhem: "The scenarios might change, but Havoc never does."
B-ko/Morgan throttled Havoc across the school.
"Poor thing my ass! She's evil!" grumbled Chaos.
"Oh, what's so bad about someone liking your dragqueen tendencies?" Mayhem asked. Chaos immediately drenched him with a bucket of cold water, turning Mayhem into a newt.
B-ko/Morgan picked up Mayhem-newt and put him on her shoulder. Since she was a fangirl, the transformation came as no surprise.
"How can you say that she's evil? I think she looks like a very nice and respectable lady." said Pesti. Morgan smiled at him.
"Arigato. I'm glad you see it that way."
Pesti: "Um, should we make some remark about self-insertion gratification here?"
Chaos: "How can this possibly be gratifying?!"
Anarchy: "I'm certainly pleased with it so far."
"Stop taking her side!" exclaimed Chaos. A sensei in a near-by class room stuck her head out and yelled at the group to take it outside or else they would all have detention with the principal. Since it was the same principal from Devil Hunter Yohko, the thought was not very tempting.
Chaos, Mayhem & Pesti: "Kowaii!!"
Havoc: "What's so bad about having a detention with Devil Hunter Yohko's S&M principal? I'm there practically ever day."
Anarchy: "I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear you say that and let the fanficfic continue along instead of hurting you with my AT Field, Havoc."
Enormous sweatdrops formed on the group. They meekly bowed and raced down the hall, scattering the huge sweatdrops everywhere. Once outside they stopped to rest. Morgan pulled out the multi-dimensional Ranma 1/2 kettle and offered it to Mayhem-newt. As he became human, she turned her back so that he could get dressed.
"So why is she evil?" asked Mayhem while drying his hair.
"She's the one who sent me the dream e-mail." More sweatdrops. "You know, the one where this chick named Sailor Lust broke into the apartment and said that she wanted me since I was a she-male."
"Ha! You admitted it!" cried Havoc.
Chaos: "I DID NO SUCH THING!!"
Mayhem: "Chaos, that's the fanficfic Havoc talking."
Pesti: "They're still both as hentai as hell, though."
"Ack! Would you stop that?" exclaimed Pesti.
"No, but I will show you my latest addition." He proudly held up a pair of panties. The fanboys thought that perhaps Shampoo had been across the street since the lacy article had a Chinese print on it. "It was hard to get since Mousse was watching her 24/7."
"I'm surprised he survived another theft from her. How did you get through Mousse?"
Havoc pulled out numerous chains and blades from his sweater. "You know, for duck he's surprisingly agile."
Chaos' eyebrow twitched.
"Um, excuse me?" asked Morgan. Havoc turned and grinned.
"Pretty lady!" he yelled as he charged. Morgan grimaced and punted him into orbit.
Mayhem: "Sugoi. She's got some good air on her kicks."
Chaos: "Humph! Lucky punt, that's all."
Pesti: "Oh, come on, Chaos! If she can boot Havoc like that then she can't be all that bad."
[Cue Chaos' furious, oversized balloon head!]
Chaos: "IS SHE MAKING PASSES AT YOU BECAUSE SHE THINKS *YOU'RE* A SHE-MALE, PESTI-CHAN?!?!"
Anarchy: "And to think I almost decided to skip reading this fanficfic this morning."
"Hentai. Anyway, hai, I am the one who sent the e-mail. But you took it the wrong way. I was just telling a fellow otaku a dream and you thought I was hitting on you. I even said that I already had a boyfriend. You baka-brain!" She pointed at Chaos and glared. He backed down slightly, but tried to regain his ground.
"Well...you were sending out signals."
"What signals? It was just a dream."
Chaos: "A dream about you being some bi-sexual Sailor Lust chick who wanted to date me because you thought I was a she-male!!!"
"Freud says that a dream is sometimes just a dream." supplied Pesti.
Mayhem: "Actually it's 'sometimes a cigar is just a cigar', to be exact."
[Chaos dunks Mayhem with a glass of cold water.]
Chaos: "Thank you, Mister Brittannica!"
"Stop helping her." said Chaos dryly.
"It doesn't matter. That's not why I'm here. I have been scorned by something else. Now is the time of punishment."
Chaos formed kitty ears and a tail. "Punishment?"
Havoc: "Make him call you the Queen, Polaris!"
[Chaos boots Havoc through the ceiling again!]
"Hai." Flames flickered in her eyes as an inferno raged behind her. "I have been brought here to make you feel pain for insulting me. Morgan Skye AKA Polaris no longer exists in this dimension! I am now Lady Vengeance!" She struck a powerful pose as a Chibiusa doll landed on Chaos' head.
Chaos: "That's her smite?!"
Pesti: "I must admit I was expecting something a little more grand."
Mayhem: "Like what? Spanking and little whips?"
Pesti: o_O "Ecchi."
"Na ni?" He picked up the doll as Vengeance/Morgan returned to normal.
"This is your smiting power? Throwing Chibiusa daemon dolls at me?" He began to laugh insanely while the others looked on.
Anarchy: "If he reverts into the Chicken Fist I am seriously going to laugh my ass off."
Rampage: ^_^ "CHU CHU!"
Chaos: "Don't you have anything better to do than eat my pants, Rampage?! I can't exactly leave this fanficfic naked, ya know!"
"Hey, what happened to the pink flamingos?" asked Pesti. "This does seem kinda lame."
Pesti: "See? Even I agree with myself."
"I was getting flames from people in Florida because apparently I was stealing them."
"So you mean our smitings don't come out of thin air?!"
"Looks like you'd better stay away from cabbage farms." heckled Mayhem. "Heaven forbid they come after you with a combine." Just then a cabbage fell on his head.
"I'll apologise if they ever catch me." he replied.
Chaos: "NEVER!! I shall never be taken in! If I'm going down I'm taking you all with me to hell!"
[Pesti-chan thumps Chaos with a mallet.]
Pesti: "Baka baka.
"Suddenly a voice rang out. "I want that crystal!" Attention was turned back to Chaos as he looked down at the doll. "I want that crystal! Give it to me!"
"Aya! It's the voice actress from the NA version of Sailor Moon. Damn, she >was annoying." commented Mayhem.
"Yeah, really. Poor Chaos." added Pesti-chan.
Pesti: "As if just Chibiusa was bad enough, now we have to contend with her North American version too!"
Anarchy: "Wow. That's a smiting technique worthy of my own calibre...though not as destructive, mind you. Yet it shows promise. I like this Polaris, I really do."
"That's right. My smiting power is that of Chibiusa, the most annoying SM character ever! Chaos will now be haunted by that doll until I tell it to go away." laughed Vengeance wildly. Just then, the doll grew to the size of the real Chibiusa and began to chase her prey around with an umbrella.
Chaos: "Chaos, you moron! Use your own smiting umbrella and fight back!!"
Mayhem: "Like that's going to help your fanfic character."
"And I thought Rampage was bad." said Pesti. Chaos heard the comment and brightened up. He stopped and grabbed the umbrella.
"Carnivorous super deformed Godzilla-thingy for a mascot counter-attack!"
He produced Rampage and threw it on the girl. She screamed as the beast began to chew on her hair.
Mayhem: "Cool! Just like one of those carnivorous Cabbage Patch dolls!"
"Get it off me!"
"Take that!" Chaos began to laugh again.
"Well damn. So much for that one. And it worked against my best friend so well." mused Vengeance. "Back to the drawing board." Chaos walked up and burped Rampage. The little bugger jumped into Vengeance's arms, snuggled in, and fell asleep.
"It's official. You're the only person Rampage doesn't like." said Pesti.
Anarchy: "Actually, I think Rampage likes you best, Chaos. After all, she has a taste for everything you own. Looks like love at first sight to me."
"Duh. It was sent by my sister Anarchy." said Chaos.
Anarchy: "Actually, I much prefer the title of She Who Must Be Obeyed."
Havoc: "And I am to be forever called Hentenno-sama!!"
Chaos: "Just how is it that you can sneak past all our fanfic security measures, Havoc?"
"Oh, speaking of which, she says hi and that I'm her next smiting."
Chaos beamed. "Ha ha! She's gonna to hit you with stuff."
"Uh, that's not what she meant." said Mayhem.
"Vengeance means that she is the embodiment of you sister's next smiting at you." Chaos facevaulted.
"But...but how did Anarchy know that you hate me?" he asked.
"She reads your e-mail." replied Vengeance.
Pesti: "And that comes as a surprise to any of us?"
Chaos: "I wouldn't object just so long as she would stop changing the passcodes behind my back all the time."
"So that explains why I never receive my otaku newsletter anymore." he mumbled.
"Anarchy got you again." said Pesti. He turned to Vengeance. "So, how did she send you here?"
"The remote control of the gods. Anarchy was bored, so she brought me here to knock the crap out of him.
Chaos: [dryly] "Gee, thanks."
Anarchy: [grin!] "Any time, any place!"
After that, I gotta get home. School's almost over for me. I don't want to miss graduation." smiled Vengeance. Chaos suddenly popped up beside her with a suitcase.
"Sorrytoseeyougososoon. Haveanicetrip,don'tcomeback!" he said quickly while pushing Vengeance away. She was unwittingly pushed into a manhole, much to Chaos' delight.
Chaos: "YES! Hooray for me!!"
"That was mean." said Mayhem. "She was just trying to get you back."
Chaos: "That was done in self-defence!!"
"Gee, I'm glad you care."
"I do, about her. She's new in this world, and had no clue about the hole you just pushed her in." Chaos looked back at the hole as a sweatdrop formed.
"I suppose then that's the bunny girl coming our way, huh?" The trio looked up the street to see the bunny girl on a skateboard heading their way .
[The fanboys pause a the bunny girl skateboards by them]
Bunny Girl: "Wheee! Go go!"
Pesti: "Okay, that was certainly surreal."
Mayhem: "Not as surreal as what's right behind her. Pesti-chan, duck."
[Cue Red Queen Haruka!]
Red Queen: "OHO HO HO OHO HO HO!!!! CALL ME THE QUEEN!!!"
"You know the drill." sighed Pesti.
"Aw man! Why do we have to?"
"Do you want her to come back and hate you more than ever?" Chaos frowned and looked down while shuffling his feet.
"I guess not." he mumbled. Pesti and Mayhem grabbed his arms and dove into the hole.
Havoc: "You guys went back into Clamp's Wonderland and didn't bother taking me?!"
Pesti: "You know, he does have a point. We could easily escape while he and the Red Queen-"
Mayhem: "You mean Skimehime-chan."
Pesti: "Whatever. Either way, while he and the Red Queen would be waging another hentai war we could easily escape unnoticed."
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