"Nani?" asked Polaris. "Is something wrong?"       
      "Yeah, you've got four ecchi creeps out here watching you wash." replied Vega dryly.


Hysteria: "Ooooh! Chaos-poppa, Havoc-poppa, Pesti-poppa and Dark-poppa all look so kawaii when they're ecchi-chans, ne? Ne? Ne?"

Chaos, Dark Mayhem & Pesti: "WE ARE NOT LECHEROUS PERVERTS!!"

Carnage: [gesturing to the Senshi] "The ladies in leather beg to differ."

      "NANI!!!" Polaris stuck her head out the door. "You perverts!

Havoc: ^-^ "Hai!"

Don't you have anything better to do?"

      Fanboys: [smiling] Nope!


Havoc: [sigh!] "Hai hai. So many panties, so little time. Hotcha, I've got Pol-chan's silken treasures!"

Fanboys: "SHADDUP HAVOC!!!"

Dark Mayhem: [tallying up the points] "That's over six hundred million panties for Havoc, zero for Anime babes and fangirls everywhere."

      Vega: Uh oh. Rapid dialogue. You know what this means.

Havoc: ^-^ "Dojifest!"

Hysteria: ^-^ "Oooooh! Doji-chan! Doji-chan!"

Carnage: "I have not the slighest idea which of them deserve to get smited first."

Dark Mayhem: [pointing to Hysteria] "Please. I don't want to dwell on future mistakes."

[cracks knuckles]

      Polaris: [grabbing a towel and wrapping around her] Yeah. We get to kick some fanboy butt!

Pesti: "Get in line, Polaris. Our author's always had first dibs."

Chaos: "Well at least *my* butt is cuter than yours, Pesti-chan."

Pesti: "Ha! Don't make me laugh! At least my butt and the boxer shorts over it aren't broadcast over the Net in our Anime North '99 convention photo album!"

Chaos: [indignant] "'Guess whose butt this is' indeed! I can't believe Carnage wrote that as a caption! It should be 'Guess whose sexy, well-toned ass this is'!!"

Carnage: --;; "Fireball."

      *FWOOSH!*

      Fanboys: Kowai!!!

      [Polaris pulled out a rather large pan-dimensional mallet and began to chase Chaos around the small bathroom as Vega called upon the flamingo smite for Havoc and Mayhem.]

      Polaris: Come back here!

      Chaos: What? Do you think I'll look good as a smashed otaku???


Dark Mayhem: "Why not? With you it's become a trend."

Chaos: [eyebrow twitch!] "Hush, Uber Exploder Newt-boy!"

      Polaris: Stop and I'll show you!

Mayhem: "Vengeful fangirls are always a killer."

Carnage: "Well then they could start by killing *him*."

Havoc: ^-^ [singing] "I've got a lovely bunch of cute panties (bum ba bum!) Here they are standing a row! Lace ones, silk ones, some that fit on your head!"

      Mayhem: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!! Make it stop! Make it STOP!!

      Havoc: The pressure!


Fanboys: o.O "TAKE COVER!!!"

      [Cue the gratuitous Cream Lemon explosion!]

Anarchy: ^^ [from behind her AT Field] "Damn, I love being a fangirl!"

      Vega: [turning to look at Pestilence] As for you..!

      Pesti: I swear it wasn't my fault!


Pesti: [groan!] "After the whipping we've just been through, I don't think anything she could do would make me afraid."

      [A small plushie landed on his head and bounced off into his hands. It was a Sailor Senshi doll, but it was wearing a black and white fuku with black hair.]

      Pesti: Nani?

      Vega: [pachi pachiized] Isn't it kawaii? It's my Senshi character, Star Sailor Vega.

      Pesti: [looking at the doll] Well, it is sorta kawaii...

      [Suddenly the doll's eyes open and look at the underlord.]


Pesti: "Ano...I'm an overlord now."

Dark Mayhem: "That just proves how much we've been putting off doing these fanficfics."

Pesti: "Even still, how terrifying could a non-Yamhead plushie be?"

      Doll: Wo ai ni Pesti-chan!!!

Pesti: o.O "I stand corrected. Excuse me one moment."

      [Pesti-chan calmly walks into the kitchen.]

Carnage: [consulting his watch] "And cue the terrified shrieks right about...now!"

Pesti: "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

      Pesti: AHHHH!!!

      [The doll clamped onto his face as he ran out of the bathroom, stepping on Chaos in the process.]

      Chaos: [pathetically] Why?


Fanboys: "Why not?"

Chaos: [glaring down at Catastrophe] "Do you mind? That's my good dress!"

Catastrophe: ^-^ "chu chu!"

      Pesti: Getitoff! Getitoff! Wahhhhh!!!

      [Vega sighed and followed him to remove the doll. As Polaris continued to smite Chaos, Havoc snuck up behind her now that the flamingos were gone.]

      Havoc: Hotcha!


Charon: ^-^ "Cue the ultimate panty-stealing technique of the Hentenno!"

Pesti: [looking at Charon] "What are you doing here?"

Havoc: "Today I am training my Ecchichan in the next level of Kacchu Tenshin Amapantiken: stealing panties from a babe who's in another fanfic!"

Carnage: [eyebrow twitch!] "You have got to be kidding."

Chaos: "We only wish he was, Carnage. We only wish."

Havoc: [pointing at Polaris] "Go for it Charon, and show me the hentai!"

Charon: [chaaaaaaarge!] "For the glory of the Uberperv!"

      [With a quick jerk Polaris' towel was in his hand and not on her. She stopped for a moment and looked down.]

Fanboys: o.O

Chaos: "He...he did it."

Charon: ^-^ [with Polaris' towel] "Hotcha!"

      Polaris: Um, is there a draft in here or what?

      Havoc: Nekkid flash!


Pesti: "Ne, Mayhem, where are you going?"

Dark Mayhem: "Anywhere other than in the immediate smiting range."

      [Polaris freaked and began to smite everything in sight with her mallet, booting Havoc out the window in the process.]

Carnage: [ano...] "Um, that's a really big mallet."

Pesti: o.O "She's coming right for us! Kyaaaaaa!!! Run away! Run away!"

Chaos: [frantic li'l SD mode!] "It's your fault she's gone psychotic, Octopus-boy!!"

Charon: [must go faster!] "I'm only learning how to steal; escaping the babes afterwards is the second part of the training. What would you like me to do about it?"

      [Abruptly a bucket of cold water gets dumped on Charon!]

Dark Mayhem: [lifting the startled Jusenkyo octopus into the air] "For starters, you can be the unlucky bastard who gets smited. "

Octopus Charon: --;; "......"

      Polaris: Damn lecher! Now get me a towel before I get mad!

      Mayhem: You mean she wasn't before?

      [Skipping details and brutal smitings]


Fanboys: "Too late."

Red Queen Mako-chan: "Well it was your own faults."

Red Queen Ami: [nods] "Hai hai."

Red Queen Haruka: "You guys are such a bunch of idiots."

Dominatrix Michiru: "However, I'm sure you now know who to call the
Queens."

Red Queen Hotaru: [with Silence Whip!] "Ne?"

Chaos, Dark Mayhem & Pesti: [sweatdrops!] "H-Hai...."
      
      The five fanpeople (minus the still in orbit Havoc)

Havoc: [singing on his interstellar smite-er, flight] "Come perv with me! Come perv, come perv away!"

walked down the street to Rei's temple in the hopes that she could help them find out who was chasing the fangirls.

Pesti: [itaaaaiii!] "After the stunt she pulled with that self gratuitous nude scene, *I'd* be the one hunting her down."

Chaos: "Curse you, Sailor Star Polaris!"

      [Cue the Gentle Uterus!]

Chaos: o.O "I mean Star Sailor Uterus! Star Sailor!! KYAAAAA!!"

"Morning Light Type B' aka 'A-ko's walking somewhere' was on repeat in the anime cd player.

Hysteria: "Ooooh! The 'A-ko's walking somewhere' music-chan is just soooo kawaii! Kawaii kawaii kawaii kawaii!!!"

Dark Mayhem: "Is it too late to drop a space colony on her?"

Carnage: [lament] "Can't. The last space colony that was actually in Earth's orbit crashed on top of Desolation last week."

      "So do you think that Rei can help us find the evil before it finds us?" asked Vega.
      "And that damn cd player." mumbled Chaos.


Anarchy & Tasuki: [more drunken Karaoke!] "LET ME SEE YOU AGAIN! Wasurezu ni itai kokorogoto karadagoto! ONLY YOU!"

Kintaro: ^^ [benkyo benkyo benkyo!] "It's my theme song! Oh, be still my beating hhhh...eart."

      "I heard that dorkus." Suddenly Polaris stopped.
      "What's wrong?" asked Mayhem.
      "The music changed. It's 'Morning Light Type A' otherwise known as a fighting song!"


Pesti: "Hmm...and when there's a fight, someone inevitably gets smited."

      [Everyone slowly turns to look at Chaos.]

Chaos: [kawaii kitty ears popping up] "What? Is there a run in my pantyhose again?"

      Vega looked around. "You're right! What will we do?"
      "What else? Fight."
      "You make it sound so easy." said Chaos.
      "It is. We have to get to an alley."
      "Why?" asked Mayhem.


Dark Mayhem: "Because if Chaos does his Transsexual Starlight wanna-be Haley transformation in the open, we'll be paying the therapy bills for a lot of traumatized cast extras."

Chaos: ^-^ "Hai! I'd traumatize--HEY!!"

      "That's where the best fight scenes are baka." replied Vega. "Let's go." They ran off in search of an alley. Since they were in Tokyo and the anime version of, one was just a few feet away.

Chaos: ^^ "Yes! We can hide in the bushes! I'm saved!"

      [Chaos leaps into the bush!]

Rampage: ^-^ [*Chomp!*] "CHU CHU!"

Chaos: o.O "GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF! TASUKETEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

In was also a dead end with bushes on the right side of it.
      "Why bushes?" asked Pesti. Both girls shrugged.
      "Why not?" No sooner than they had spoken when a loud voice boomed, yelling for them to stop, temporarily blocking the A-ko music.


Carnage: [repeatedly beating the CD player senseless with his Zanba sword] "DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!"

Fanboys: [sweatdrop!] "......"

Carnage: *ahem!* "I hate cutesy musical soundtracks that don't include Two-Mix."

Pesti: [sigh!] "Yare yare. You and your Gundam obsession, Carnage."

      "Thank Kami-sama." sighed Chaos.
      "Ah shaddup." hissed Vega. "Who are you?"


      [The fanboys suddenly don their hats with the kana for "Otaku" on the front!]

Chaos: "I'm glad you asked! We're the Otakuteers!"

Fanboys: ^-^ "Hai!"

Pesti: "Otakuteer role call!"

Carnage: "My mecha! My mecha! I can't do this job without my mecha!"

Havoc: ^-^ "Panties for the uberperv!"

Rampage: ^-^ "CHU CHU!"

Dark Mayhem: "Hey! Genom's up three points in the market!"

Chaos: --;; "I am not a Dragqueen!"

Pesti: "She's *my* Mako-chan, Chaos."

Sarcasm: [sigh!] "So many Anime bishounen, so little tanning oil."

Hysteria: ^-^ "Ooooh! Kawaii!!"

Catastrophe: "chu chu!"

Riot: "Ah, most honourable."

Ruckus: "These studs can run but they can't hide!"

Desolation: [somewhere in Japoness] "Where the hell am I now?!"

Beans: "*Whose* lake god, Chaos?"

Red Queen Kasumi: "WOH HO HOH OHO HOH HOH HO HO!!!"

      [Everyone slowly turns to Anarchy.]

Anarchy: [not about to comply] "Don't make me destroy you."

Fanboys: [backing away] "Kowai!"

      "We are the messengers of vengeance." Everyone looked at Polaris.
      "What?" she asked, slightly annoyed.
      "*Achem* As I said, we are the messengers of vengeance. There are many crimes that you have committed that must be brought to justice.


Pesti: "Who could agitate someone in the Sailor Moon universe so much that they would want to take violent revenge?"

      [Everyone looks at Havoc.]

Havoc: [fondling Usagi's panties] "What?"

Prepare to die!" At that moment the fanboys did what any brave, heroic, and manly main characters would do...they hid in the bushes.

Fanboys: "Run away! Run away!"

      "Just like a guy to cop out and leave us to the dirty work." huffed Vega.

Dark Mayhem: "Consider this just retribution for that self-gratuitous shower scene, Polaris. The uber exploder fanboy is not amused."

Pesti: "I just don't understand one thing."

Carnage: "One thing?!"

Pesti: "If the Senshi were all after us for allegedly looking at Polaris in the shower, why was Havoc spared?"

Havoc: "Oro?"

      [Cue Red Queen Minako-chan!]

Red Queen Minako: [with Venus Spank-Me Chain!] "WOH HOH HOH HO OHO HO HOH!! Now, Havoc, you must call me the Queen and spank me!"

Havoc: ^-^ "Hotcha!"

Fanboys: --;; "......"

Dark Mayhem: "You were saying, Pesti-chan?"

      "Don't worry. We should get used to it for when we get out into the real world. Anyway, back to the situation at hand...We haven't done anything wrong. Why are you doing this to us?" asked Polaris to the voice.
      "You are a Sailor Moon fanfiction writer. All writers of Sailor Moon fanfiction must be punished for their awful representation of the Outer Senshi!!"


Carnage: "Ne, are you sure they're after Chaos and not Polaris?"

Chaos: "What did I ever do to them?"

Dark Mayhem: "Two words, Chaos: Haunted Jyuban."

Chaos: [with kawaii kitty ears] "But that was such a good Chaosfic too!"

Pesti: "With Toilet Haruka, Chaos?!"

      [Cue Red Queen Haruka!]

Red Queen Haruka: [tugging on her whip] "Now *that* fanfic is going to cost you, Duo."

Chaos: [sweatdrop!] "A-Ano...Jo'o-sama?"

Both girls sweatdropped. "This is over a grudge with fic writers? Oh please!" laughed Vega. No sooner had she spoken than a large ball of yellow light tore up the ground and headed for her direction. She jumped into the air; the ball barely missing her feet. She landed next to Polaris gently, but shaken up. "What the hell?"

Pesti: "Aiya. Whoever's stalking them is definitely serious about it."

Dark Mayhem: "Ne, I wonder who it could be?"

Carnage: "Who else harbours a deep, obsessive love for the Outer Senshi other than...(o.O) Hoboy."

Chaos: ^-^ "Of course! Looks like Naoko-sama's got a bone to pick with them now. Ha ha! They're doomed!"       

      [Chaos is crushed by a 1000t mallet!]

Naoko: "And don't even think for a moment that you're off the hook for writing that Outlaw Sailor Stars Chaosfic of yours."

      "There's only one Senshi who can do that. Sailor Uranus! Come out!" cried Polaris. Four shadows appeared at the end of the alley. "I see that Sailor Neptune, Pluto, and Saturn are here as well."
      
Pesti: "It's probably around here where we get that storm of rose petals and upbeat violin score, ne?"

Anarchy: [singing on karaoke with Maho Tsukai Tai!] "Anata no ato dokomademo! Senobi wo shite oikakete yuku wa!"

Chaos: "That doesn't sound like upbeat violin music. That doesn't even sound like music."

      [Everyone immediately steps away from Chaos.]

Anarchy: "Cue the army of ChibiChibi Hyper Boomers!"

Chaos: o.O

      [Cue the "Shake your Booty" ChibiChibi Hyper Boomers!]

ChibiChibi Hyper Boomers: [shake shake shake!] "Chibi!"

Chaos: "KYAAAAAAAA!!!"

Carnage: "Quick, Mayhem! You grab a crucifix to hold them back, and I'll grab the Zeorymer to finish them off!"

ChibiChibi Hyper Boomers: [shake shake shake!] "Chibi!"

Pesti: [recoiling into 6 SD versions!] "TASUKETE!!!"

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