Dark Mayhem: --;; [now covered in SD Pesti-chans] "I'm really not a violent fanboy, but I honestly think I'm going to have to kick someone's ass here."
ChibiChibi Hyper Boomers: [shake your booty!] "Chibi!"
Hysteria: [throwing a kawaii hissy fit-chan!] "Waaaah! That's not kawaii at all, and Hysteria can't take it! KAWAII KILLER BUTTERFLY ATTACK!!!"
Chaos: "Havoc, you might want to move!"
Havoc: ^-^ "Oro?"
Back in the bushes the fanboys watched eagerly for the battle that was to come.
"Maybe they'll knock off Polaris and Vega. No more fangirls! Woo hoo!" cheered Chaos. Both Pesti and Mayhem clamped their hands over his mouth.
"Do you want to give us away or what?" hissed Pesti. "Or did you forget what happened the last time we met up with the Outers?" Chaos shuddered at the thought of being chased about by Haruka and her damned Space Sword.
Chaos: --;; [covered in Cream Lemon] "Forget her Space Sword. It's the whip I'm not to thrilled about."
Red Queen Haruka: "Well I wouldn't have to use it if you would just obey my commands, Duo."
Red Queen Hotaru: [pulling out a whip] "Haruka-poppa! He's my Chaos-chan, so I get to whip him into submission."
Chaos: [bowing down] "JO'O-SAMAAAAA!!!"
Carnage: [turning to the Pesti-chans] "So...are all your fanficfics like this?"
SD Pesti #2: "No...this one's a lot more sedate than usual. "
He pulled their hands off. "Ok, I'm keeping quite, but don't blame me if I cheer when Polaris bites the dust."
"Boy you're nice." Mayhem looked out at the girls. "I hope they can handle this."
"Why don't you help them if you're so worried." taunted Chaos.
Dark Mayhem: [sulking] "After that dumbass self-gratuitous smiting scene they pulled? Ha! Not a chance."
Carnage: "A little jaded, aren't you?"
Dark Mayhem: "Hey, I enjoy leather as much as the next guy--but last I checked, you weren't getting attacked by a Red Queen Senshi."
Carnage: [smirk] "Ah, the benefits of showing up after this fanficfic had been made."
[Cue the Tenchi Masaki syndrome!]
Chaos: "I think our author heard you, Carnage."
Carnage: o.O "Damn."
Rei: [glomping onto Carnage's left arm] "Akito!"
Miyu: [glomping onto Carnage's right arm] "Carnage-chan!"
"What do you think I am? Nuts?"
"No, just a weirdo." said Pesti. [insert smiting here]
Rei: [lobbing burning mandalas] "Get away from my fanboy-toy, you undead bloodsucker!"
Miyu: [summoning a fireball] "Excuse me, fuku-girl, but I'll have you know my Carnage-chan likes older women."
Rei: [grrrr!] "Someone who's two hundred years older than he is?! That's it: MARS FLAME SNIPER!!!"
Carnage: ;_; "Moshi moshi...?"
"You can't blame us for the faults of other writers. We're just passing through." protested Vega.
"And how many other writers 'just pass through'?
Pesti: "Speaking of avatars passing through.... "
[Chaos' face is abruptly bent backwards as the female Havoc-chan bounces on top of his face!]
Havoc-chan: [boing boing boing!] "Hotcha! I got Eudial's panties! I got Eudial's panties!"
Eudial: [with her flamethrower] "Die, you little freak! Give me your heart and then give me back my underwear! "
Carnage: "M-Masaka! Havoc has a pure heart?!"
Hysteria: ^-^ "Ooooh! Ne, ne, where's the daimon-chan? Hysteria's got a kawaii little frilly apron for the daimon-chan to wear for Hysteria's kawaii little tea party-chan!"
None! We must punish those we can reach." said Sailor Uranus. She stepped out into the light. "Invited by a new age, I'm the magnificent Sailor Uranus!"
Sailor Neptune followed. "Invited by a new age, I'm the elegant Sailor Neptune!"
Next, Sailor Pluto stepped out, staff in hand. "Invited by a new age, I am the powerful Sailor Pluto!"
Havoc-chan: [screeching to a halt] "Pu-chan?"
Fanboys: [groaning!] "Shimatta!"
Havoc-chan: ^-^ "Pu-chan! Have no fear; Hentenno is here!"
Setsuna: [eyebrow twitch] "Dead Scream."
Dark Mayhem: [with umbrella] "And there Hentenno goes."
Finally, Sailor Saturn joined her teammates. "Invited by a new age, I am the mysterious Sailor Saturn." She raised her Silence Glaive high.
"We are the mighty SAILOR SENSHI!!!" they cried in unison.
Havoc: "And I have your panties! Hotcha! I have all your panties! Even Pu-chan's!"
Setsuna: [erk!] "Shimatta! That's right; there's two of them now."
Hysteria: "Hai! Because putting all your bras into one basket makes them just soooo kawaii, ne? Ne? Ne?"
[The fanboys facevault at the kawaii Minako-ism!]
Pesti: [groan!] "I want another paternal test run on her."
Chaos: "I'd sooner have something just run over her."
Carnage: "I can arrange that."
"I have a bad feeling about this." whispered Vega.
Chaos: "You know, Vega, at times like this I find the best words to say are either KYAAAAA!!!! or JO'O-SAMA!!!!"
Mayhem: "Ah yes, advice to live by for the super-deformed slave."
Chaos: "Hush, Newt-boy!"
Red Queen Hotaru: "He does have a point, ne, Chaos-chan?"
Chaos: [kawaii kitty ears!] "Hai...."
"Just remember your powers and you'll do fine." Polaris turned to face the Senshi. "Four against two is hardly a fair fight. At least even the odds for us." Uranus was about to say something when Pluto stopped her.
The keeper of time thought for a moment.
"Agreed. Uranus and Saturn will fight you first, then Neptune and myself."
Carnage: "What is this? Tag-team?"
Havoc: [sigh!] "I just don't understand why they couldn't have taken this fight into Planet Hentai's jello wrestling pit. There's plenty of cream for everyone. "
Fanboys: "SHADDUP HAVOC!!"
"Pluto! Neptune and I always fight together!" protested Uranus.
"True, but perhaps these girls are stronger than we think and they could possibly harm Neptune.
Pesti: "I assume this is because the author avatar thing's kicked in."
Dark Mayhem: "Always, Pesti-chan. Always."
Chaos: [sulking] "I wish it would kick in for me once in a while."
[Cue the enormous foot of Haunted Junction's 'The Giant' ghost appearing and booting Chaos across Tokyo!]
Chaos: [argh!] "I said 'kick in'! Not 'kick me'! KYAAAAAAA!!"
Anarchy: "You mean there's a difference? "
Dark Mayhem: [shaking his head] "Not when you're the one who gave The Giant cleated shoes, Anarchy."
Wouldn't you rather the two strongest go first and defeat them?" Uranus couldn't argue with that point.
"All right. Let's get to it!"
"Fine." said Polaris. She grabbed onto her blouse.
Havoc: ^-^ "And Hentenno grabs onto her bosoms!"
Carnage: [grabbing onto Havoc's collar] "Don't tempt me to unleash Escafanboy upon you, freak."
Back in the bushes...
"Woo hoo! Take it off!" cheered Havoc. The three boys SD'd and clomped the hentai on the head.
"Where did you come from?" asked Mayhem.
[Cue Havoc, Charon & Havoc-chan!]
Havoc: "Charon, if you will?"
Charon: [with flourish!] "Wherever there are nubile young Anime babes, you'll find us! Wherever there are panties yet to be stolen, we'll be there! Wherever...wherever...line."
Havoc: [aside] "Wherever there are Jello--"
Charon: "Wherever there are Jello wrestling pits, you shall find--!!"
Havoc, Havoc-chan & Charon: [striking a pose and donning their wide-brimmed sombrero hats!] "THE THREE HENTENNOS!!"
[Abruptly the spout-shaped tops of their sombrero hats start erupting, sending many an Anime babe's bra into the air!]
Carnage: [throwing his popcorn away] "That's it! I'm leaving."
Pesti: [fending off Hysteria] "Could you take her with you while you're at it?"
Hysteria: "Waaaah! No one wants to try on one of Hysteria's kawaii little apron-chans!"
Dark Mayhem: "Waiter, what's this bra doing in my Hard Lemonade?"
Havoc: ^^ "Marinating. Those are edible underwear."
"When there is a cat fight I'm there."
"There's a chance their clothes might get ripped off. Hotcha!"
Pesti: "Of course, Havoc would be the one ripping off their clothes. "
Chaos: "Just don't shred the panties."
"By the fight or you?" asked Chaos dryly.
"Either way. Besides, I'd never miss a chance to see a hot anime babe in tight bioarmor. Raow!"
"But Polaris isn't an anime babe."
Chaos: [sulking] "I would even call her a cute ba--"
[Cue the Gentle Uterus!]
Chaos: [crunch!] "Hey! I didn't even say her name wrong that time!"
Dark Mayhem: "I think you're missing the point, Chaos. "
Carnage: "Not to mention your mind."
Chaos: [sniffling] "I try to keep an open mind...but my brain just keeps on falling out."
"Whatever. Now where's my camera..?"
Cameraman Dan: [thumbs up!] "Hai!"
Fanboys: [blink blink!] "Ano...."
All three boys punted the ecchi not only from the bushes, but the rest of the ficfic as well.
"Thank Kami-sama." they sighed.
Back to the fight.
Polaris drew in her breath and ripped off her clothes,
Havoc: ^-^ "Hotcha!"
momentarily throwing Uranus and the fanboys off. Instead of the assumed alabaster skin there was an Akagiyama 23 Power Biosuit under her garments.
Havoc: [sulking] "Damn."
Charon: "Ne, do you think she's wearing panties beneath that Akigayama 23 biosuit?"
Havoc: ^-^ "There's only one way to find out! To the Pervmobile!"
Charon: [V-sign!] "Hai!"
Carnage: "Sorry, but the two of you are only scheduled for a one way trip to the nearest space colony. MEGA BRAND!!!"
Pesti: [staring up at the new hole in the ceiling] "Um, Carnage, didn't you say earlier that all the space colonies had crashed onto Desolation? Won't Havoc and Charon just...float away into deep space?"
Carnage: "Yes, your point being?"
"If it's a fight you want, then I'll give it to you! For I am the mistress of pain and revenge in the guise of the beautiful B-ko Daitokuji! No one can stop my fury! I am the mighty Lady Vengeance!! In the name of fangirls everywhere I will smite you!"
Hysteria: ^-^ [Tee hee!] "Ooooh! Vengeance-chan! Vengeance-chan!"
[The fanboys recoil in terror!]
Chaos: "KYAAAA!!! Don't sneak up on us like that Hysteria!"
Hysteria: "Gomen nasai, Chaos-momma!"
Chaos: [eyebrow twitch!] "Ano...."
Dark Mayhem: [looking at Hysteria] "And some people think youma and daimons and lemures are scary? They should try co-starring with her."
Hysteria: "Oooh! Havoc-momma has Pol-chan's kawaii little panties!"
Havoc-chan: ^-^ "Hotcha! Panties for the Hentenno!"
Carnage: [teary Bambi eyes!] "Can't I nuke them both? Even just for once?"
Pesti: "You're asking me?"
She threw in a few hockey poses to add effect. Vega smiled and began to spin around at an incredible speed. When she stopped she was wearing A-ko's red, white, and blue school uniform.
"I'm here to join the battle. For I am the mistress of fixation and passion in the guise of the free spirited A-ko Magami! No one is safe from my loving eyes! I am the amazing Lady Obsession!! In the name of fangirls everywhere, I will smite you!" She also did a few poses to wow and astonish the crowd.
Hysteria: [clapping] "Oooh! Kawaii, ne? Ne? Ne?"
Catastrophe: ^-^ "chu chu!"
Dark Mayhem: "Doesn't take much to impress her, does it?"
Anarchy: "Wait'll you see the halftime show; I'm teleporting Chaos into Rei's dream during Sailor Moon S, where the Silence destroys the world!"
Chaos: ^-^ "Hai! I get to be annihilated by--(o.O) WHAT?!"
"Prepare yourself!" they cried. The four Senshi smiled.
"This will be fun." said Neptune. "Do me proud love." She kissed Uranus on the cheek.
Dominatrix Michiru: "Ara, I wonder what their reactions would have been if we had decided to show up like this. Ne, love?"
Red Queen Haruka: [coughs into her fist] "Er...not really."
"I won't let you down." She ran off with Saturn and faced the fangirls.
They glared before launching into battle. Uranus went right for Polaris, knocking her back on her rear. She then swung down to hit Polaris in the head, but her foe rolled away and jumped to her feet.
"Black Jacovini Shooting Star lash!"
Carnage: [erk!] "Now what kind of stupid-assed attack is that? Have you ever heard anything dumber, guys? Guys?"
Dark Mayhem: "Yakisoba noodles of ice attack!"
Pesti: "Speeding Bullet Train Car Punch!"
Chaos: "Shining Finger!"
Carnage: [eyebrow twitch!] "DRAGU SLAVE!!!"
[As the dust clears....]
Hysteria: o.O "S-Sugoi, Carnage-poppa!"
Carnage: "I take that back. Shining Finger is still worse after all. G-Gundam, my ass!"
A small handle appeared in her hand, then sprung out to form a large energy whip. Polaris snapped it around Uranus' waist and slammed her against the wall. She repeated this several times until her prisoner broke free.
Red Queen Haruka: [eyebrow twitch] "Perhaps we should have shown up as Red Queen Senshi after all. This Polaris would have been calling me the Queen two seconds into the fight."
Dark Mayhem: [wryly] "Pleasant mental image at that is."
Red Queen Haruka: [dumping cold water onto Mayhem] "Care to repeat that little comment?"
Newt Schneider: --;; *Touchy.*
"World Shaking!" The yellow sphere tore up the ground as it headed for Polaris. The young fangirl leapt out of the way moments before it exploded. She was thrown off balance, falling to the ground along with debris. Uranus walked over and smugly laughed at Polaris.
Anarchy: [got Sake?] "Aw, you call that a smite?! That's not a smite."
[Anarchy summons up the Sieryu Seishi, Nakago!]
Anarchy: "*This* is a smite!"
Pesti: o.O "She pulled out someone else to do her dirtywork?"
Dark Mayhem: [shrug] "You know how she never likes to interrupt her Sake-fests. I suppose Nakago is the next best thing."
Nakago: [looking around] "Hmmmm...now how can I destroy and conquer this new world?"
Fanboys: [huddling up on the couch] "Kowai!"
"You won't...get away with this." coughed our heroine.
"Any why not?"
[Nakago suddenly sees Havoc-chan...who now has all the Shamanic Princesses' panties!]
Havoc-chan: ^-^ "Oooh! Satin ones from Tiara, silky ones from Rena, and lacy ones from Sara! And they all have that royal scent too!"
Nakago: [grrr!] "YOU!!"
"Because Vega has beaten Saturn and is right behind you."
Uranus sneered. "You expect me to believe that?"
"You should." said a voice. Uranus spun around to see Vega standing there, nary a scratch on her finely pressed uniform.
"Oh, I have my ways. I barely had to lift a finger."
Chaos: [trying to unglomp himself from Hotaru] "I should have seen this coming."
Hotaru: [giggle!] "Careful, Chaos-chan, or else I'll have to become a Red Queen again."
Chaos: [sweatdrop!] "H-Hai...."
Off in the bushes both Mayhem and Pesti struggled with the ropes that held Chaos down and kept his mouth shut. Wrapped around him in a snuggle hold was Sailor Saturn.
Red Queen Haruka: [leaning closer to Chaos] "Even in someone else's fanfic, you still tread on dangerous ground with our Hime-chan."
Chaos: [cue the kawaii kitty ears!] "Can I plead insanity on this one?"
"Chaos-chan!!" she squealed. Chaos' eyes grew bigger as she rubbed her cheek against his. A pathetic 'help me' eked out of the bonds.
Chaos: [all tied up by Haruka's whip] "Curse you, Polaris! This grievance shall not go unpaid!"
Dominatrix Michiru: "Maybe now you'll pay attention to the rules we've set for your dates with Hotaru-chan. And just for you, we brought in a special guest to help discipline you."
Red Queen Minako: ^-^ [with Venus Spank-Me Chain!] "Ohayo, Duo!"
"Fat chance your lordship." hissed Pesti. "We want you to stay put till this is over."
Chaos: [frantic li'l SD fanboy] "HIME HIME HIME HIME HIME!!"
Red Queen Minako: "No, that's what you call Hotaru! But you can call me the Queen! VENUS SPANK-ME CHAIN!!"
Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAA!! JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA JO'O-SAMA!!!"
Pesti: "Chaos, you had better get over here. Nakago's about to try and smite Havoc!"
Chaos: "I'm a little busy right now!"
Nakago: [glare!] "Do you realize those Dragon Balls I traded with you were not the real Dragon Balls?!"
Havoc-chan: [still fondling her new panties] "Na ni?"
Nakago: "THEY WERE DRAGON BENWA BALLS!! I couldn't make a wish at all-and what's more, I got killed by that damned Tamahome. And it's all...your...fault."
Carnage: [putting on his sunglasses] "I assume now's a good time to seek shelter."
Dark Mayhem: [opening up an umbrella] "With the amount of ass-kicking destructive power Nakago's chi has? Definitely."
Nakago: [powering up] "Die, you pervert."
[Hysteria suddenly glomps onto Nakago!]
Hysteria: ^-^ [tee hee!] "Ooooh! Nakago-chan! You're perfect for being dressed up in a kawaii little frilly apron-chan for Hysteria's kawaii little tea party-chan!"
Hysteria: [dragging Nakago away] "Wheeee!! Tea party-chan! Tea party-chan!"
Pesti: [shaking his head] "Poor bastard."
Carnage: "Even he doesn't deserve that kind of fate."
Vega smiled at Uranus.
"You've lost, so make way for the next two so we can defeat them too."
"Never! I won't let you hurt Neptune."
"We aren't going to hurt her. You've got to be nuts. We'll let her surrender." said Vega as Polaris got up and dusted herself off.
"Neptune will never surrender." she hissed under her breath.
Havoc: "However, she never even had a chance to surrender her panties before the power of my hentai forces stole them!"
Fanboys: "SHADDUP HAVOC!!!"
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