"Don't believe them!" cried Havoc.
"Na ni? What's there not to believe?"
"You're not the real B-ko."
The girl smiled. "And *how* do you know that?"
Havoc: "I never forget a panty--and these are not B-ko's usual panties with the little SD mechas on it!"
Carnage: "Isn't there *some* way of stopping him?"
Chaos: "We've tried. Believe me, we tried."
Mayhem: "And when we did, he wound up with the cursed panties of Torajima on him and now has the Maze transformation."
Havoc smiled hentaiishly.
"You're not wearing the Akagiyama 23 Power Biosuit." A look of shock covered her face.
"You wouldn't know that unless..." She put her hands on her abdomen. "By Kami-sama! He got them!"
"Got what?" asked the red-head.
Havoc: [hoisting up the chastity belts] "Hotcha! Faster than a speeding naughty tentacle!"
"Don't you feel like a great weight has been lifted?" asked the impostor B-ko dryly. Fake A-ko's face widened to reveal her anger.
"YOU SAID THAT HE COULDN'T GET THEM OFF!!!!!"
B-ko sweatdropped. "Well...I thought he couldn't.
Havoc: "Ha ha! Never underestimate the prowess of Hentenno-sama! There is no lock I can't pick with my cream lemon powers or tentacles, no Anime babe who can withstand my secret panty-stealing technique!"
Pesti: "I don't know what frightens me more: the fact that no Anime babe yet has been able to stop him, or that he's so perverted he's got a secret technique for stealing panties."
Mayhem: "Well, there is one person...."
Havoc: "Hotcha! I got Pu-chan's panties! I got Pu-chan's--!"
Setsuna: "Dead Scream."
Carnage: [crossing his arms over his chest] "What the hell kinda secret panty-stealing technique could that freak have anyways?"
Havoc: "Simple: the Kacchu Tenshin Amapantiken!"
Carnage: [NASTY eyebrow twitch!] "The...Imperial Sweet Panties Broiled In The Fire Punch? *That's* your technique?!"
Chaos: [groan!] "That's even worse than Blazing Transfer Student's Flying Railway Car Punch."
You don't have to yell."
"YES I DO!!!" A-ko raised a hand to thump B-ko soundly.
"Matte! Your powers would kill me." Surprisingly, the red head stopped her attack.
"Gomen, I forgot."
The fanboys gathered in a huddle. "It's obvious that these two *aren't* the real A-ko and B-ko. Who could they be?" asked Mayhem.
"Why are they here?" added Pesti.
Chaos: [sulking] "Great. Just great! That's just what this series needs: more fanboys and fangirls."
Carnage: "No kidding. Chaos here's bad enough just by himself that we don't need anymore help with the mindless lunacy."
Chaos: "Hai! I'm bad enough by my--HEY!!"
"What's this danger they're talking about?" continued Chaos.
"And are they wearing matching bras?" finished Havoc.
Havoc: [twirling two lacy bras on his indx finger] "Nope!"
[Cue the facevaults!]
Suddenly a large Coke machine fell on his head, chucking out two sodas in the process. The cans flew at the girls, who caught them with ease.
"Arigato." said B-ko.
"Not a problem Polaris." A-ko immediately clamped a free hand over her mouth and blushed. "Uh oh."
Chaos: [NASTY eyebrow twitch!!] "What?"
Pesti: "And so it begins. I'll get the popcorn."
Mayhem: "I'll get the Hard Lemonade."
Anarchy: "I'll get the Cha Cha Maru to drop on Chaos!"
The fanboys heard her comment and SD'd. "NA NI?!?!?"
Chaos: "Polaris...!!! What are you doing here in this fanficfic?!"
Carnage: [whacking Chaos upside the back of the head with the Zanba sword] "This is *her* fanficfic, you moron!"
B-ko...er, Polaris smiled uneasily. "Hey guys. Miss me?"
Chaos: [pulling out a herd of cows!] "Does this answer your question?!"
Hotaru: o.O "Chaos-chan's really upset."
Pesti: "Aw, just wait for him to get smited and he'll calm down. It's yet another childish rivalry Chaos insists on having with other fanfic characters."
Hotaru: "You mean like Beans-san?"
Chaos: "Curse you Beans! That lake god shall be mine!"
[Cue the terrified flying octopuses!]
Chaos: o.O "Perhaps I spoke too soon."
[Seconds later Chaos is smacked in the face with a dozen flying octopuses and drops the whole herd of cows upon himself.]
Anarchy: "Cool! Tasuki, get yer halissen ready! I'm in the mood for a barbecue!"
Tasuki: "Hai! LEKKA SHIEN!!"
Cows: o.O "Moo?"
Her eyes widened as Chaos charged, both of them crashing to the floor. He promptly began to smack her silly with a herring in an attempt to end her smiting days.
Chaos: "You shall pay for that last fanficfic, Sailor Star--!!"
[Cue the falling Gentle Uterus!]
Chaos: o.O "Incoming!!"
[Chaos manages to dodge the Uterus!]
Carnage: "There's a first. What gives?"
Pesti: [stepping away from Chaos] "I strongly suggest we seek shelter."
Chaos: "Ha ha! Is that the best you can do, Polaris?!"
[Cue the taxi cab that falls from the sky for no apparent reason and smites Chaos!]
Taxi driver: "Did someone hail me?"
Chaos: "Curse the author's opening hails to everyone in his Emails."
Pesti: "Ano...what's Taiki doing driving a cab?"
Taiki: "It's Polaris' smite, so I'm obligated to make a guest cameo. Er, what's with all this whipped cream?"
Havoc: "We're having a Dojifest! Care for some Jello?"
Pesti: "Havoc, don't you dare!!"
Chaos: [argh!] "How could this fanficfic get any worse for me?!"
Rampage: ^-^ "CHU CHU!"
Mayhem: "Ask and you shall receive."
Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAA!!! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!!"
"I'll get you for all those Gentle Uteruses!!!"
"It-was-Tai-ki!! It-was-Tai-ki!!" shouted Polaris through the smackings.
"I thought you weren't coming back!" Chaos exclaimed.
"Well...Vega wanted to meet you all." cried Polaris, pointing at her friend, still being smacked by the ever forgiving lordship.
"So, you're the one who beat the crap out of Mayhem that day. I never got a good look at your face since you smite so quickly." mused Pesti.
Carnage: [turning to Mayhem] "They outsmited you even with your Dark Schnieder transformation?"
Mayhem: [pouting] "A self-gratuitous fantasy, I can assure you."
Ami: [nuzzling Mayhem] "Oh, poor Carrot-chan!"
[Cue the spontaneous combustion!]
Carnage: "Suddenly the idea of you getting outsmited doesn't seem so far-fetched. Dammit, I need more Hard Lemonade!"
"Arigato. I learned all I know from Polaris. But that's only because she's the only one around to learn from." Said A-ko/Vega.
"That's right. Would you please stop now?" begged Polaris. Chaos ignored her pleas and continued to rather vainly smack her silly with the herring. This only managed to infuriate Polaris, causing her face to change different colours until it was finally a rather irate violet blue.
"Hey, her hair and face match now!" said Mayhem.
"Don't make me smite you!" yelled Polaris.
"HAHAHAHAHA!!! You cannot threaten the mighty Chaos, Lord of Mass Destruction!"
Chaos: "Hai! You tell her Chaos! No wait...I tell her, Chaos! Ano...somebody tell her dammit!"
Pesti: "Was that completely mindless to anyone else in this room?"
Carnage, Havoc, Anarchy & Mayhem: "Yes."
Pesti: "Ah, good. I'm in the majority."
Polaris stood suddenly, making him fall over. Chaos blinked in surprise.
"You couldn't have done that a moment ago?" asked Vega dryly.
"Shut up! Much has changed since we last met, your lordship," said Polaris coldly as her face returned to normal.
"You've done it now." said Vega. "She's in her 'holier-than-thou' mood. You're toast."
Havoc: "And what could go better on toast than some Cream Lemon?"
Carnage: "Oh, somebody's toast, alright, Havoc!"
Anarchy: "Hold it, Carnage. This one's on me."
Havoc: "Panties panties panties!"
[Anarchy snaps her fingers. Cue the demon overlord from Slayers: Lord Shabranigdo!]
Chaos & Pesti: o.O "Aiya!"
Shabranigdo: [bowing down frantically before Anarchy!] "Jo'o-sama Jo'o-sama Jo'o-sama!"
Chaos: "The sight of a demon overlord bowing before my little sister does not exactly instill much confidence in our sibling relationship."
Pesti: "Well, it was nice knowing you anyways, Chaos. But if you don't make it out of this fic...I will date Mako-chan."
Havoc: "Hotcha! Lina Inverse must be nearby! I haven't stole her bra for two seasons!"
Anarchy: [sigh!] "Shabranigdo, pummel the hentai, will you? And pummel Chaos too just for the hell of it."
Havoc: ^-^ "Oro?"
Chaos: [wince!] "Itai."
"Speaking of toast, let's celebrate the smiting of Chaos!" cried Pesti. "Now I won't have to compete for my Mako-chan's affections."
Chaos: "*WHOSE* Mako-chan?!"
Pesti: [sigh!] "Rumblequake."
Chaos: "KYAAAAAA!!! That still doesn't make you an overlord in my books, Pesti-chan!"
Chaos' umbrella crashed down on the underlord-in-training's head. "She's mine!" he growled.
"HEY! IíM TALKING HERE!!" yelled Polaris though a megaphone.
"Gomen. You were saying?" asked Mayhem as he tried to separate the two fanboys.
"Allow me." said Vega. She picked up the SD otaku by their shirt collars and held them apart. Even though suspended in mid-air by an A-ko imitator, they still tried to get at each other's throats. Vega tossed Chaos at Polaris' feet, yet kept her hold on Pesti.
Pesti: "Hey! Chaos is usually the one to wind up on the more painful receiving end here! Why me?"
Mayhem: "Might I remind you that Polaris is writing this, not His lordship Chaos."
"*Ahem* As I was saying, I have gained a lot of experience since the last we met. Prepare for a cruel smiting."
"Waaaahhhh! Why am I being thrashed *this* time?"
"You weren't happy when I returned." sniffed Polaris. "For that you must die!"
A piñata fell on Chaos' head. In no more than a second a herd of children wielding sticks arrived and beat the heck out of both the piñata and Chaos. As soon as the piñata was nothing more than paper shreds the children retreated, leaving a puddle of goo that was once a Lord of Mass Destruction.
Mayhem: "Hm, those kids must have read his Zanba 1/2 Chaosfic."
Pesti: "Although the gang at Club Anipike didn't exactly destroy it as badly as those children did."
Carnage: "Like that had anything worthy enough to even bother destroying."
Chaos: [sweatdrops!] "Hey!"
"HA HA!! I am the second greatest fangirl of all time! Call me Lady Vengeance!"
"Or Ishmail." added Mayhem as Pesti poured Chaos into an empty Hard Lemonade bottle. "So, why the -ko disguises. I thought B-ko and A-ko hated each other."
"We've just taken their forms." said Vega. "This way we're friends and we don't have to deal with C-ko." Both girls gagged.
"That explains why Polaris wasn't wearing the Biosuit." mused Havoc. He was instantly hit with another coke machine.
Chaos: "KYAAA! Cream Lemon!"
Pesti: "Brace yourselves!"
[Everyone assumes their crash positions, sprawling themselves across the remains of the apartment!]
"Ow!! That hurts ya know!"
Hotaru: [blink blink!] "Nothing happened."
Fanboys: "Yes! A clean living room!"
"Serves you right you pervert. I cost me a bundle for those iron undies." said Vega.
"I really didn't want to hear that." mumbled Pesti. He sat on the couch while Chaos, now solid, took a chair and Mayhem stood.
"Anyway, in truth, I still have the Biosuit. We were able to take the best parts of both characters and still retain our fangirl powers. Plus, whenever one of us are in a scene in this fic it's guaranteed that music from Project A-ko will play."
"That explains why I heard 'Spaceship' earlier."
Mayhem grabbed a pillow and chucked it at Pesti. "See? I don't hear things that aren't there!"
Havoc: [singing!] "Do you hear what I hear?"
Distant voices of Anime babes: "Give us back our panties, you pervert!!"
Havoc: [sigh!] "My work here is done."
Carnage: [punting Havoc through the ceiling with his Guymelef!] "Then LEAVE already, will you?!"
"But you're still a weirdo."
"But there are a few catches." Polaris also sat in a chair. Havoc popped up beside her. "Oh, hello."
"Catches?" asked Chaos as he chugged a Hard Lemonade. "I think I'm going to need a few more of these for this fic."
Vega rolled her eyes. Suddenly there was a loud crash as Havoc was booted out of the apartment via the ceiling.
"Ask me to sign my panties? You pervert!!!" screamed Polaris.
Chaos: "Well, we lucked out on that one. No more Cream Lemon tidal waves."
[Suddenly Havoc detonates in Cream Lemon in midair over Tokyo!]
Chaos: --;; [covered in a rainstorm of whipped cream] "Then again."
Rei: [snagging Carnage] "Would you like to share an umbrella with me, Akito-chan?"
Carnage: o.O "KYAAAA!!! What are you doing here, Rei?! And what are your hands doing *there*?!"
"*Cough* Sorry. Please continue Vega."
"Anyway, the contract that we signed has a few rules in it that we must follow or we'll be booted from this world."
"You had to sign a contract? Wild." said Mayhem.
Mayhem: "Though not surprising since we wound up with character contracts for our roles."
Chaos: "Curse the author! It's because of him that I keep groping Mako-chan...not that it's a bad thing."
Pesti: [clubbing Chaos with a cabbage on a fork!] "ECCHI!!!"
"I guess." Vega looked at the spot next to Pesti and swooped down on it. She then snuggled close to a wide-eyed Pesti and smile. "Is this seat taken?" she asked sweetly.
Pesti: [sweatdrop!] "Ano...should I be worried about this?"
Chaos: [sulking] "It's Polaris. You *should* be worried. Stupid Sailor Star--KYAAAAA!!!"
[Cue the Gentle Uterus!]
Mayhem: "You know, it's a wonder we still have a ceiling left."
"Get over it Vega. It's not allowed." said Polaris.
"Actual romance isn't, but flirting is ok!" She scooted closer to the SD underlord.
"Kowai!" he squeaked.
Carnage: o.O "Suddenly I'm very glad I didn't show up in this fanficfic of hers."
Rei: [snuggle!] "Akito-chan!"
Carnage: [eyebrow twitch!] "......"
Mayhem: [nod!] "Hai hai. With your Tenchi Masaki syndrome, she'd be on you faster than the entire lynch mob smiting Chaos for that On the Gundam Wing of Honeasemis Chaosfic of his."
Chaos: [irate li'l SD form] "Hey! I've made amends for that! See? I've just created a special Broadway mecha musical!"
[There is dead silence as all the fanboys freeze, Pesti-chan's Hard lemonade dropping out from his hand. The kana for the wind's "Hwoooooo" scrolls by...and is promptly devoured by Rampage.]
Pesti: "A...mecha musical?"
Mayhem: "Yare yare. Carnage, please don't smite him until we get to hear the title first."
Carange: [fiery demonic aura!] "Must...hold back...long...enough to get...my Zeorymer...powered up...!"
Chaos: ^-^ "I call this mecha musical Gundam 0083: Ziggy Stardust Memories! I wonder what David Bowie's reaction will be when he gets my request for him to write the songs?"
[Chaos is suddenly smited by the Spiders from Mars!]
Mayhem: "Well, I don't exactly think anyone can say he didn't have that one coming."
Pesti: [sigh!] "I had better fetch Skuld in case these are actually more Yggdrasil bugs."
Carnage: [drawing a circle around Chaos and the spiders] "Don't bother. MEGA BRAND!!!!"
Anarchy & Tasuki: [with sunglasses on!] "Ooooh! Fireworks!"
"Getting back to the contract, we made a deal with Cauldina that we would do her a favor if she brought us here to have a small vacation before school." said B-ko. "In return we have to follow her rules. Rule 1) No sexual relations with anyone, fanboys included."
Havoc: "No hentai?! What have you girls done to this fic?!"
Pesti: "Other than preventing it from becoming a Hentai Omake 3?"
At the word 'sexual' Pesti jumped behind the couch and peeked at Vega. Only his superdeformed eyes could be seen.
"Wuss." pouted Vega. "I guess he can't take my good loving."
Havoc: "What is this? First no hentai and now she's chasing after *guys*?! What about rule 3, that rampant lesbianism needs no excuses! We should be having her all over the Anime babes by now. I want another of Usagi's Usual Mornings!"
Carnage: [eyebrow twitch!] "Let's make this one of your usual mornings, you pervert. DUG HAUT!!!"
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