"Don't make me come over there." said Polaris. "Gee Chaos, I guess this means that we can't have any night rendezvous, eh lover?"
Chaos: o.O "LOVER?!?!"
Haruka: [priming her World Shakinng] "This had better be good Chaos."
Chaos: "Now wait just a minute here!!"
[Anarchy pauses for a moment and counts down a minute on her wristwatch.]
Anarchy: "Okay, I'm done."
[Cue the AT Field that smites Chaos!]
Chaos: "ITAAAIIII!!!!! This fanficfic's starting to hurt!"
Chaos promptly shot to the ceiling in fear. Mayhem got up and went to find something to get his lordship down with.
"*Achem* Rule 2) No usage of anime powers on fanboys, only other anime characters. The other side of that is that we can't use smites on anime characters, just on fanboys."
Chaos: "SO what does that mean?"
Mayhem: "Essentially they can't use their A-ko or B-ko powers on you, but you can still get clobbered by a Gentle Uterus that would crash through the ceiling if we still had a ceiling."
Anarchy: [snapping her fingers] "Like this!"
[Cue the Gentle Uterus!]
Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"
"Are there other rules?" asked Mayhem as he returned with a broom. He shoved the handle under one of Chaos' hands and pulled. The hand popped free, so he worked on the other one. Chaos fell from his perch right into Polaris' lap.
Chaos: [groan!] "You shall pay for this, Polaris!"
Mayhem: "And yet Chaos here's the one who always gets his own crater."
Chaos: "Hai! I'm the one who always--HEY!!"
"Oh Chaos!" Polaris wrapped her arms around him. "What a forceful man you are!" His eyes bugged out as he ran for the safety of the other side of the room.
Chaos: [shudder!] "Just one cow, that's all I ask for!"
"Oh pooh! Well it happens. As for your question Mayhem, yes there are other rules, but that's beside the point."
"This has a point?" asked Vega just before she jumped over the couch after Pesti. A merry chase began as Vega frolicked after a frantic SD Pesti.
Havoc: [trying to bound after Vega!] "Hotcha! Vega-chan, I've got a tub of Jello with you, me and Miyuki-chan's names in it!"
Carnage: "How about a Vlave Howl with your name on it, Havoc? VLAVE HOWL!!!"
[Cue the lava!]
Pesti: "Shimatta! Well there goes the carpet...and the floor too."
"MATTE!!" he screamed. Chaos watch him run by, then stuck his foot out to trip Vega. This resulted in his foot being smashed by her great strength.
"You forget that Vega has the strength of A-ko while I have the brains..."
Chaos: [pouting] "That's debatable."
Carnage: "The same thing tend to be argued with you, Chaos."
"And insanity." added Vega.
"...of the mighty B-ko. We aren't your run-of-the-mill fangirls. But even with all the powers we possess we are hardly a match for the foes that have chased us since our arrival."
Pesti: "Who would be chasing them...other than Chaos?"
Mayhem: "Members of an anti-Taiki fanclub?"
"It's probably Sailor Star Maker wondering why you haven't done that star service story for him yet." mumbled Chaos.
"Yes...well, he'll get it soon enough."
"You're not done using him yet are you?"
"Not by a long shot. Anyway, we can to get your help. With luck we can rid this evil from both our lives."
Havoc: "Panties for Hentenno Jo'o-sama! Glorious silken treasures!"
Carnage: "If this evil is Havoc, count me in on the plot to annihilate him."
Pesti: "But you're not in the fanficfic."
Carnage: "ARGH!! Then I'll just have to take matters into my own mecha."
"Wait, it's not in our lives." interrupted Mayhem.
"It is now." said Vega, pointing out the window. "They're here!" The group looked out the window carefully just before a brick smashed through it. Glass flew everywhere, making quite a mess.
Pesti: "We still have windows in our apartment that are intact?"
Havoc: ^-^ "Oro?"
Carnage: [in his Gunbuster] "BUSTER BEEEEEEEAAAAAMMMM!!!!"
Chaos: [groan!] "Not anymore, Pesti-chan."
After the dust cleared Mayhem picked up the brick.
"It's got a note on it." He unwrapped it and read the note aloud.
Mayhem: [reading note] "It's from Desolation! 'Dear Chaos. Still being chased by that rolling Gentle Uterus...no thanks to you I might add! And to make matters worse now Vampire Princess Miyu and Larva have mistaken me for a Shinma and are hunting me down. I thought I had lost them in this Gokuraku video store but nooooo! Suddenly all these video girls came to life and stampeded over me. It hurt. A lot. Sincerely, Desolation. P.S.: WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?!'"
Carnage: [sigh!] "That poor guy really does deserve the Unlucky Bastard title of Mass Destruction."
Chaos: [nod!] "Hai hai. Unfortunately for Desolation, all the Mass Destruction he creates is because he winds up walking right into ground zero in every last Anime."
"Dear writer, Give up now before we kill you. There is still time for you to surrender. Meet us outside the building or be terminated when you least expect it." The two girls looked at each other in fear.
"No good can come of this." said Polaris. Suddenly she was lifted off her feet by Chaos and carried over to the window.
"Well we know what to do, don't we boys?"
Fanboys: "SHADDUP HAVOC!!!"
Pesti nodded and picked up Vega.
"Chuck 'em!!" they cried. Vega cracked her knuckles.
"I don't think so." Pesti grimaced as his bundle grabbed his head and flipped him over. She then began to throttle him soundly with a large foam rubber bat. Unfortunately this did little damage since it was only rubber.
Fanboys: [sweatdrop!] "Ano...."
Pesti: "That smite's almost as pathetic as Chaos smacking someone silly with a herring."
Chaos: [nod!] "Hai hai. That smite's almost as pathetic as my--WHAT?!"
"Hoo hee!!" he laughed.
"Stop laughing so I can hurt you!" Alas, her visage softened. "But I could never hurt my kawaii Pesti-chan. Come! Leap into my arms!" Pesti lit to his feet and the merry chase began again. "Sweetums! Why do you run from your darling?"
Makoto: "What exactly is going on here?!"
Mayhem: "Are you absolutely certain you want to find out?"
Makoto: "Good point."
Pesti: "KYAAAAAAAA!!! I want the foam bat smite again! Anything but this!!!"
Carnage: "I'm *really* glad me and my Tenchi Masaki syndrome didn't show up for this fanficfic."
"Geez Vega, you're worse than Kodachi. As for you, your lordship..."
Chaos grew kitty ears and a tail. "Who? Me?"
Polaris snapped her fingers. Instantly Lina Inverse and Naga walked through a near-by wall. They looked at Polaris, then at Chaos.
Naga: "WOH HO OHO HO HOH HO OHO HO OHO HO HOH HO!!!!!"
Pesti: o.O "Not...the...cackle...anything...but...that!!"
Havoc: [cracking his knuckles] "Ah, I do so love metal bikinis. Naga-chan, come to Hentenno-sama!"
Naga: "FREEZE ARROW!!"
[Havoc gets frozen!]
Havoc: [it's a bit nipply--er, nippy in here!] "H-H-Hotcha!"
"Kill." The two sorceresses approached Chaos and immediately began to pummel him into shapes unrecognizable to human eyes. He twitched slightly as Polaris' smite slid into the wall from which they had come from.
Lina: [turning to Anarchy] "You haven't seen the demon lord Shabranigdo around here, have you?"
Anarchy: [pointing to Chaos] "Over there. It's amazing what forms demon lords can take these days."
Chaos: [erk!] "This is gonna hurt, isn't it?"
Mayhem: [clearing Hotaru out from the room] "Trust me on this, Hotaru-chan. You don't want to watch the next few moments."
Lina: [evil smile!] "Arigato!"
Carnage: [sliding on the sunglasses] "Ah, Giga Slave."
"Itai." He slopped off into another Hard Lemonade bottle.
"That makes a nice healing spot for him. He can sop up the leftovers to numb the pain." commented Mayhem. On the other side of the room Vega had finally caught her beloved Pesti. She squeezed him hard, making is eyes bug out. "As fun as this has been, we need to get some rest so that we can work on this problem."
Lina: [summoning her powers] "Darkness beyond blackest pitch, deeper than the deepest night!"
Pesti: "Um, won't she nuke the entire prefecture with Giga Slave?"
Lina: [it's coming!] "King of Darkness, shining like gold upon the Sea of Chaos, I call upon thee! Swear myself to thee!"
Anarchy: "Daijobu! I've put my AT Field on full spread around everything except Chaos."
Chaos: --;; "Gee, thanks."
Lina: "Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed...by the power you and I possess!"
Chaos: [frantic SD form!] "Wait a minute! Doesn't she need Gourry's Sword of Light to do Giga Slave?!"
Carnage: [grin!] "Not in this fic."
Lina: "GIGA SLAVE!!!!!"
Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"
[Cue the special effects explosion that blows apart everything not shielded by Anarchy's AT Field...namely Chaos!]
Chaos: [smoulding pile o' ashes & otaku] "ITAAAAAIIIII!!!"
Mayhem: "He'll be fine, Hotaru. The author's not done terrorizing him yet."
Chaos: [groan!] "If I could actually feel my legs I'd punt you into orbit, Newt-boy."
"Great. I'll stay in the living room." said Polaris. "I have a neat gadget I want to try out."
"I'll stay in Pesti-chan's room." sighed Vega.
Pesti: [priming his Rumblequake] "My Mako-chan's the only one I want to stay in my room, Vega!!"
Chaos: "*YOUR* Mako-chan?! And whaddaya mean she's staying in your bedroom?!"
Mayhem: "That was a quick recovery."
Hotaru: [glomping onto Chaos' arm!] "Daijobu! I can stay in your bedroom for the night, Chaos-chan!"
Haruka & Carnage: [with big pointy swords!] "WHAT?!"
Chaos: o.O "Dammit, why does this always happen to me?!"
Anarchy: [with Sake!] "Why not? Tasuki baby, I'm in a mood for the Omlette song! Crank up Dragon Half!"
Tasuki: [oh yeah, he's tanked] "Hai!"
"No way!" Polaris walked over and pried the two apart. "You are sleeping with me."
Havoc: "What did I tell you guys? Rule 3 every time!!"
Carnage: "Do you mind, freak?!"
Havoc: "Not at all! I can bring in Princess Fatoma and Alliele and we can all have an F3 kinda night! I'll bring the Jello!"
Carange: "You'd better bring a bodybag while you're at it! BLAST ASH!!!"
"I *knew* it!!" cried Mayhem. "You two *are* involved!" The two girls growled.
"The only thing we're involved in is beating the living crap out of you." said Vega. They promptly 'beat the living crap out of a hapless Mayhem.
Havoc: "Why can't we all get along? Look, I've brought enough Doji and Jello for everybody!"
Fanboys: "SHADDUP HAVOC!!!"
"He had that coming." Pesti said to a still bottled Chaos.
"Let's go to bed." The two fanboys left Mayhem and the girls to their activities, trusting that they'd turn off the lights before going to bed.
Pesti: [arming himself with a cabbage on a fork] "You know, I'm noticing the disturbing trend that we seem to take more abuse in these fanficfics than in the fics themselves."
Chaos: [grrr!] "Now what am I supposed to do with all these Gentle Uteruses?!"
Mayhem: "Sell them as art?"
Carnage: [argh!] "So how much more of this insanity do I have to sit through?"
--of part I.]
Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
Havoc: "What, that's it? No panties? No Jello?"
Havoc: "That's Hentenno-sama!"
Carnage: "Was I debating the issue?! DAM BRASS!!!"
[Cue the eyecatch!]
On To Part 2
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