The demon ward shot through the air, sticking to Havoc's forehead. The uberperv stood absolutely frozen, locked in place. Demolition smugly turned to Carnage. "See?"
         Abruptly Havoc's head exploded with a flashflood of Cream Lemon that sprayed itself across the room. The resounding *SPLOOT!* caused the furniture to jump.
         Shortly thereafter, a very stunned and whipped cream-covered Demolition stood in the middle of the living room, awkwardly looking around at the Cream Lemon dripping from the walls and ceiling. "What...the hell just happened?"
         Unscathed from beneath his umbrella, Carnage tried to keep a straight face. And didn't feel bad at all when he miserably failed at that. "Ha ha!" he chortled, falling backwards off the armrest of the couch. "Got a little Cream Lemon in your eye, Demo-chan?"
         "Don't call me Demo-chan! You know I hate that name!" Demolition exclaimed angrily. "You knew this would happen, nii-san. This is why I traveled across countless fantasy worlds like El-Hazard, the Spooner Continent, Cephiro, and Zaibach: to destroy you!!"

Chaos: [sweatdrop!] "Greeeeeaaaat."

Pesti: [confused] "Ano...why do you want to destroy your older brother?"

Dark Mayhem: "Maybe he was contracted out by the Tokyo rezoning board."

Demolition: [shrug!] "It's an Anime thing. You know: guy's brother or brother surrogate wants to smear him across the series. Nothing personal, Carnage; just contractual obligations."

Pesti: o.O

Dark Mayhem: "Evidently the love of overkill is a genetic thing."

         "Oh, you really think you can get better of your older brother?" Carnage inquired, cracking his knuckles. "You amuse me, Demo-chan. BURST RONDO!!"
         The Slayers spell exploded from Carnage's palm, tearing apart the living room floor. Yet Demolition held his ground, cracking his own knuckles and grinning as he watched the oncoming attack.
         "Bah, this is nothing. I know every last Slayers spell too, Carnage! PAYBACK!!"
         With that incantation, the Burst Rondo ricocheted back to Carnage. Yet Carnage shook his head, and Paybacked the Payback. To which Demolition Paybacked the Payback of the Payback. However, going rather unnoticed by both fanboys was the fact that the Burst Rondo was starting to shatter in all directions as it kept getting boomeranged.
         Pesti-chan and Dark Mayhem dove for cover as bits of the spell blew holes through the wall, the ceiling, the couch, Chaos--

Chaos: o.O "I smell something burning...KYAAAAA!!! MY EYEBROWS ARE ON FIRE!!"

         Well, it was only a matter of time before the entire Burst Rondo finally broke apart to further scorch the living room. Pesti-chan and Dark Mayhem warily sat up from their hiding places. Chaos just happily sat around as a pile of ash with two stunned eyeballs on it. In behind her AT Field, Anarchy gave the two performers mild applause.

Carnage: [teary Bambi eyes!] "An-chan, you liked it?"

Anarchy: "No. Not really."

Carnage: [facevault!] "......"

         Pesti-chan quickly wrestled an eyeball of Chaos' away from Rampage. "I'll go fetch the crazy glue," he offered, heading down the hallway.
         Demolition gave a gloating smirk towards Carnage. "So, you know Slayers spells as well. But what can you do against this?!" With a grand motion, he pulled out the sword sheathed on his back, which proved to be just the hilt. Demolition smugly pointed the blade-less weapon at Carnage. "Give up now while you still have a chance, Carnage."
         Pesti-chan sighed as he massaged his forehead. "Ano...I think something's missing from your inventory there, Demolition."
         "Like a brain, perhaps?" Dark Mayhem added.
         "Hardly," Demolition countered. "Light, come forth!"
         Suddenly a large bolt of white light erupted from the hilt, forging itself into a blade. Now this didn't help Chaos, for the wind that was caused by the extending blade scattered all his ashes. Two rather irate eyeballs glared at Demolition.

Eyeball #1: [with sign] *Well I hope you're happy*

Eyeball #2: [teary] *I feel so naked now*

         "Behold, Gourry's famous Sword of Light!" Demolition proclaimed, brandishing the sword. "Now just what can you conjure up that could possibly outdo this?"
         Carnage shrugged and promptly yanked on a pan-dimensional rope hanging near his head. Seconds later the Super Gundam Crushing Press crashed on top of Demolition. As the cloud of dust settled, Carnage sighed and headed for the kitchen.
         "That was entertaining. Let me know when Demo-chan manages to crawl out from the statue."
         Abruptly the Deathscythe Hell Custom bust exploded, rock shrapnel flying in every direction. And it just so happened that Chaos had managed to rebuild himself just in time to get clocked in the face by the flying debris.
         "Hold," Demolition stated, gripping the Sword of Light. "The battle has just begun, nii-san. You think something like that, or even any of those Gundams you fondle every night, can defeat the power of my fantasy-
forged weapons?!"
         Carnage immediately turned around and leveled a Beam Cannon to Demolition's head.

Demolition: o.O [dropping the sword] "You win."

         "But," he quickly added, side-stepping the sights of the Beam Cannon. "There's more than one way to destroy you, nii-san. I shall do what you've failed to do ever since F6!: destroy Havoc!"
         Demolition slipped his foot beneath the Sword of Light and kicked it up into the air. Grabbing hold of the hilt, he charged and then rammed the glowing blade through Havoc's chest.
         Completely unfazed, Havoc looked down at the sword impaled in his chest. "That kinda tickles."
         Just then the clouds passed over the sun, plunging the apartment into darkness. Yet no one had to turn on the lights; the Sword of Light neatly lit up Havoc's Cream Lemon essence.

Havoc: ^-^ "Hey, cool! I glow in the dark!"

Minako: [excited] "Na-chan! You've created Cream Lemon lite!"

Demolition: --;; "This is not going the way I planned it."

         The clouds cleared, and the apartment was lit up by something a little more natural than translucent liquid hentai. Demolition retracted the Sword of Light, shaking his head in utter bemusement.
         "But he...but I...how...cream?!"
         Carnage put his arm consolingly over his younger brother's...well, he tried for the shoulders, but fell a little short. Which also meant he had to jump up in order to smack Demolition upside the back of the head.
         "Baka," Carnage stated. "I told you taking down the uberperv is as much of an impossibility as the fully-equipped Wing Gundam losing a battle against a mobile doll."
         Demolition sweatdropped. "What? I don't speak mecha babble."
         Chaos glanced around the apartment. "Ne, where did Pesti-chan go?"
         "He left about two minutes ago," Anarchy said. "He's off for his date with Makoto."
         "How dare he date my Mako-chan!" Chaos growled. "I must beat him to Jyuban Park...but how?"
         Carnage snapped his fingers. "I can do that."

Chaos: ^-^ [V-sign] "Lucky!"

         [Cue Carnage stuffing Chaos into the Samurai Pizza Cats' delivery cannon!]

Carnage: "Now just a warning: the aiming's not really good on this thing, so you may overshoot the park and hit Mexico."

Chaos: [sweatdrop!] "Don't I get a parachute?"

Carnage: "Oh. Um...we'll fire it out of the cannon after you."

Chaos: "Really?"

Carnage: ^^;; "Sure!"

*         *         *

         Jyuban Park was full of children out enjoying their summer vacation. It also had many nubile young women out walking--though not as many as usual, courtesy of that morning's "perv on a leash" incident.
         "Thanks for inviting me out here, Kamui," Makoto said as she and Pesti-chan walked hand in hand down one of the promenade paths. "This is a great way to spend a warm afternoon."
         Pesti-chan grinned, his eyes momentarily darting down to the low-cut summer shirt Makoto was wearing. "The pleasure's all mine," he sighed wistfully.

Makoto: [concerned] "Kamui, your face is turning red."

Pesti: o.O [erk!] "A-Ano...."

         They continued to walk, conversing of many things with each other. But since that's romantic and would actually build up a plot, the author will have none of that in one of these fics! The two took a seat at one of the benches. At a nearby fountain, a young lady with strange blue hair was busy putting on a puppet show.
         "Mako-chan," Pesti-chan said somewhat nervously. "I know we haven't been officially going out long, but I...I got you something."
         He held out a small box tied with a ribbon.
         Makoto visibly blushed. "A present?"
         The box was opened, and Makoto's face lit up as she carefully lifted out from it a pewter butterfly necklace. Her green eyes were trembling at seeing the gift. "It's beautiful" she whispered. She leaned forward to kiss him. "Thank you, Kamui--!"
         Makoto abruptly stopped upon seeing Chaos' stern (and to be honest, rather scary) face glaring at her. She recoiled in surprise, huddled up on the far side of the bench.
         "Mako-chan, my love," he said in a hollow, if not undead voice. "What are you doing?"
         "Get the hell off me, you idiot!" Pesti-chan exclaimed, punting Chaos off his lap and into the fountain.
         Pesti-chan stood up from the bench, punching the tree next to him in exasperation. In the process, he let a bit of his smiting powers leak out. The tree was sent flying through the park, stopping only after it collided with a wandering Desolation.

Desolation: @.@ "No, really...I'm fine. Just some internal bleeding. Please continue the fic without me."

         [Cue the demon lord Shabranigdo falling from the sky towards Desolation!]

Desolation: o.O "Now would be a good time."

         Pesti-chan winced upon realizing what he'd done, and sheepishly turned around to appraise the damage. But to his surprise, he saw a thoroughly stunned Usagi, Ami, Minako and Rei cowering at the base of the stump.
         "Warn us next time when you're going to do that!" Usagi blurted out. "I thought I was going to have a heart attack!"
         Makoto jumped off the bench upon hearing her friends. "How long have you been there?" she demanded.
         Ami giggled nervously. "Long enough to see a lover's triangle develop?"
         Just then Chaos erupted from the fountain with a large splash. He stomped over to the bench, his dress soaked and clinging to his chest...which in retrospect isn't exactly the nicest of mental images to be presented with.
         "Why do you date him and not me?" Chaos asked Makoto, trying to look sympathetic with his kawaii kitty ears. He glanced down at his attire. "It's the dress, isn't it? You don't like being with someone who looks cuter and more feminine than you, ne?"
         "No," Makoto stated after whacking Chaos' head into the ground.
         He quickly sprang back up, blowing a mouthful of grass off his face. "I could wear a blouse and skirt if that'll make you happy, my Mako-chan," he offered.
         Pesti-chan smacked him upside the back of the head. "Not interested."
         "Well, then what is it?" Chaos demanded, looking so agitated that he might wet himself at any given moment from being unable to bear the suspense. "Why won't you even consider me a rival for your affections, my queen goddess above all?"
         Makoto searched her mind for a suitable answer, one that wouldn't necessarily shatter Chaos' fragile yet deluded ego. "You're just...you're just too immature," she finally stated.
         Chaos' eyes bugged out as he shrank into SD mode. Aghast at her words, he fell to his knees. The kana for "prepubescent" crashed right on top of him, cracking the cement.
         His lower lip quibbled, his eyes starting to tear up and go Bambi-like. And then came the waterworks as Chaos threw a depressed SD hissy fit. "M-Mako-chaaaaaaan...!!" he sobbed.

Hotaru: [surprised] "Chaos-chan, what are you doing here?"

Chaos: o.O

         Chaos whirled, looking like a Shinma caught in the headlights as he saw Hotaru, Haruka and Michiru standing in behind him.
         "Did you come here to see me?" Hotaru asked, hopeful.
         "Yes, Chaos," Pesti-chan added darkly. "Who did you come here to see?"
         A sweatdrop appeared next to Chaos' head.
         "Chaos-chan," Hotaru said sternly. "You're *my* boyfriend, remember."
         Chaos gulped. "A-Ano ne...."
         "I remember the first time you protected me from that bug creature at the waterpark," Hotaru said. "Ever since then, whenever something happens, you're always there to watch out for me and take the hit. That *has* to mean something...doesn't it?" Hotaru pointed to Makoto. "But I don't understand why you continue on pining for her if we're in love. You have to chose now, Chaos-chan! Are you Makoto's boyfriend, or my boyfriend?"
         Chaos' eyes looked from an angry Hotaru up to a very menacing Haruka and Michiru, and then over to an angry Makoto and a very unimpressed Pesti-chan. The other Inner Senshi also seemed to expect an answer, having seem the rivalry between him and Pesti-chan go on for two seasons of fanfics.

Hotaru: "Well?"

Shinto Monk's disembodied voice: "YooooooOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Chaos: [sweatdrop!] "I...um...can I buy a vowel?"

         [Cue the facevaults!]

         ^-^ Isn't it a great day to be alive--provided you're not Chaos?
         Yes, everyone was out at the park, savouring the sunshine. Even the Amazoness Quartet. As if she were doing some sort of community service (possibly for being jailed over having such weird beaded hair) PallaPalla was busy doing a children's puppet show.
         "Everybody dies, happy happy," PallaPalla stated with a big smile. However, a rather disgruntled crowd of kids mumbled if not shouted their disagreements on the matter.

Dark Mayhem: "Must be talking about the End of Eva."

Carnage: "But we don't even know if they died at the End of Eva. We don't know what the hell happened! I don't think Gainax fully knows either!"

         PallaPalla didn't take their criticism very well, and proceeded to knock the Dream Mirrors out of everyone there. Naturally the Senshi snapped into action, the ladies racing into the trees to transform.
         That left Pesti-chan and Chaos alone.
         Pesti-chan began to summon his Rumblequake smite as he walked towards PallaPalla. "Might as well get a hit in before they do another long-winded spiel of love and justice."
         It then occurred to him that he was the only one moving. The former underlord-in-training looked back, only to see a stone gargoyle of Chaos petrified on the park bench. With a roll of his eyes and a cabbage hailstorm, Pesti-chan managed to snap Chaos back to normal.
         Chaos struck a triumphant pose, complete with a backdrop featuring samurai warriors hanging from trees and pretending to be squirrels. "This is it, my big chance!" he stated, pulling out his henshin.
         A fuku transformation and frighteningly gratuitous nekkid flash later, Sailor Haley dropped into the fracas. The now female Chaos adjusted the folds of her skirt. "Hold it right there, Yarf-chan!" he--er, she shouted.
         PallaPalla growled, cringing as she heard that. The vein in her forehead started to throb. "Stop calling me Yarf-chan!"
         She recoiled in surprise upon seeing the entire Sailor Team show up. Everyone save for Sailor Pluto was there, clad in their sailor battle fukus and ready to exchange some sort of nonsensical "love & justice" line.
         Still waiting for her chance to become Saturn again, Hotaru stood on the sidelines cheering everyone on. And no one argued with the soldier who could nuke the planet when she tried to do a one-girl wave.
         Chaos crossed his arms over his--er, her bosomy chest. "I'm not about to let you steal everyone's dream mirrors, Yarf-chan. I shall go in, I shall fight, and I shall impress her!"
         Pesti-chan remained skeptical. "Impress who?"
         Chaos then became acutely aware of numerous Sailor Senshi towering over him, their shadows ominously plunging him between a rock and a hard fic.

Chaos: [sweatdrop!] "Um...."

Pesti: --;; "You don't know, do you?"

Chaos: [sputtering] "Yes I do! I...I...."

Hotaru: [angry] "Chaos-chan, what does that mean?"

Sailor Neptune: [trying to be gentle] "It means nothing, Hotaru."

Hotaru: [acting hurt] "So you do like Makoto more than me!"

Chaos: [erk!] "No!"

Sailor Jupiter: "Then why are you groping me?!"

Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAA!!"

Pesti: "Face it Chaos: it's for reasons like this that I'm dating Makoto, and not you."

Chaos: "At least I don't literally go all to pieces when I panic!"

Pesti: "Like I had a say in the matter, Chaos! And Mako-chan doesn't seem to mind it!"

Chaos: [grrr!] "Well maybe Makoto should be super-deformed too, so she doesn't have to kneel down to kiss any one of you!"

PallaPalla: ^-^ "PallaPalla can manage that!"

Chaos & Pesti: o.O "Na ni?"

         With a snap of PallaPalla's fingers, a large blue cloud of smoke flooded the park. Fanboy and Sailor Senshi alike hacked and coughed, stumbling around to find cleaner air. Not that it's really possible in Tokyo. But the smoke dissipated quickly, leaving Chaos and Pesti-chan hacking up their lungs.
         "Shimatta!" Pesti-chan said. "That was unpleasant. And she got away too!"
         "It's not my fault," Chaos protested. "I can't perform under pressure. Everyone was looking at me instead of her." He rubbed his eyes, looking around the vacant park. "Ne, Pesti, where did Makoto go?"
         "More than that," Pesti-chan added. "Where did *all* the Senshi go?"
         He looked down to the ground as he felt something tug on his pant leg.

Chibi-Makoto: "Kamui? Down here."

Pesti: o.O;;

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