Somewhere along the beaches where the opening credits of El Hazard TV were filmed, Desolation happily walked barefoot on the sand. Not even running into Makoto Mizuhara and then getting the entire Bugrom colony
dropped on him could dampen his spirits.
"Yep, it's a good thing I found those Panda Brand drinks when I did," he remarked, feeling rather proud of himself. "They could have done some serious damage if some innocent kids found them. Anime characters everywhere would go SD or chibi."
Another series of waves washed up against his feet.
And yet Desolation didn't really notice when a large Kingler Pokemon washed up on top of him. In fact, Desolation rather appreciated getting squashed by the crustacean; he'd had a craving for seafood all day.
"I am strangely thirsty now," he remarked, dabbing at the bits o' Kingler on his cheeks. "I should open one of those Panda Brand juices and see how they taste."
He fished through his pan-dimensional backpack, only to make a horrific discovery!
Desolation: [sweatdrop!] "Ano...there's a hole?!"
Yes, indeed there was a hole!
And because of it, Panda Brand juice cans had been slowly yet steadily falling out every place he had aimlessly wandered since the start of this fanfic.
Desolation groaned. "This is gonna cost me."
Back at the fanboys' apartment, despite having been chibified, not much had really changed from their regular routine. Evidently Hysteria was flushed for the count, and she wasn't coming back anytime soon.
At first, there had been some hope for the fanboys and Setsuna to regain their usual stature and age. The Panda drink's spell could be nulled by consuming vast quantities of Sake. Unfortunately, Anarchy had cleaned out the entire apartment before going chibi herself. An hour later, driving around Tokyo on Chibi-Carnage's SD T-74 Tank-chan proved to be just as fruitless; Anarchy had pretty much consumed all the Sake left in the city the night before too.
So everyone was stuck inside.
Not that too many were objecting.
Chibi-Chaos was busy coping with Chibi-Hotaru glomping onto him...and giving him a really evil "Mistress 9" eye whenever he gave a wistful sigh in Chibi-Makoto's direction.
Chibi-Makoto had her own tiny hands full with numerous SD Pesti-chans vying for her attention all at once. She finally had to resort to drawing numbers; currently #5 was attending to her.
Chibi-Dark Mayhem and Chibi-Ami were engaged in a game of strip chess. SD Pesti-chan #4 continually freaked out every five minutes when Chibi-Ami removed a piece of clothing. And the scorch marks around a half nekkid Chibi-Dark Mayhem were growing noticeably bigger.
Chibi-Haruka and Chibi-Michiru...had yet to emerge from the jacuzzi in Dark Mayhem's bedroom.
Chibi-Anarchy and Chibi-Tasuki (guess which drink she served him?) were busy singing away on her pan-dimensional karaoke machine.
Unable to keep the peace, Chibi-Pandemonium was relegated to chasing whatever SD character was running amok at the time. Impressively, even when shrunk her bosoms still had quite the Gainax bounce. And yet she still didn't notice when Chibi-Demolition put on another muscle flexing display in the misguided hope that this cute, chibi version of himself would get women to notice him.
Rampage and Catastrophe, being SD Godzilla-thingies in the first place, were content to curl up near the bonfire ignited by Chibi-Rei and Miyu. Miyu was getting rather agitated that Chibi-Rei was insisting that Chibi-Carnage was now the perfect match for herself. Miyu was even less impressed when Chibi-Rei handed the vampire princess Chibi-Me as a consolation prize.
And as for Chibi-Setsuna...she was drowning her sorrows over the situation in a 24-pack of Coke. Her eyebrow twitched whenever she glanced over her shoulders to see Chibi-Usagi and Chibi-Minako on yet another
hyperactive rampage, a couple of frantic SD Pesti-chans chasing after the two.
"So what are the sleeping arrangements going to be like?" SD Pesti #2 inquired.
"Ami and I have dibs on the library," Chibi-Dark Mayhem stated.
"Chaos-chan and I get his wall scroll!" Chibi-Hotaru piped up.
Abruptly Chibi-Setsuna loomed ominously over a nervous Chibi-Chaos. "Over his dead body," she stated.
Chibi-Carnage waved that aside. "Daijobu; odds are he'll get himself stuck in another inquisition over his latest written atrocity before the night is out."
"You sound as if you're mocking my B'TX/1999 fic," Chibi-Chaos said suspiciously.
"We are," the Chibi-fanboys chorused.
And no sooner had he picked his face out of the floorboards than he was unceremoniously pounded back into the ground. Luckily, his startled and ballooned-out eyeballs softened the blow.
Naoko Takeuchi scowled, hoisting up her 1000t mallet once she was satisfied she had ground the Chibi-fanboy into the carpeting. "I don't believe this," she stated. "I leave you guys alone for only a few hours to do my routine fic patrol, and look what happens!!"
Chibi-Usagi looked up at Naoko with some awe. "Are you here to babysit us?" she asked innocently.
Naoko faltered. "A-Ano...."
"Maybe she's here with the pizza delivery!" Chibi-Minako excitedly piped up, bouncing on the couch cushions--and SD Pesti #4 when he tried to stop her.
A teary-eyed Naoko carefully picked up Chibi-Usagi, dropping her mallet onto Chibi-Chaos' back. "My poor Usagi-chan. How can someone who looks so cute be a part of something so twisted and wrong?" She glared at Chibi-Chaos. "How dare you do this to my characters!"
Once she placed Chibi-Usagi onto the dining room table, Naoko Takeuchi then helped Chibi-Chaos by removing the 1000t mallet from off his back. That still didn't mean she liked him; the first clue was her near-homicidal binge as she chased the half-pint otaku around the apartment.
Chibi-Chaos: o.O [running on the walls] "KYAAAAAAAAA!!"
Sarcasm: [sticking her head out her bedroom door] "Hey, could you keep it down out there? Aya and I can hardly hear ourselves panting!"
A few minutes passed by, seeing most of the Chibi-fanboys and Chibi-Senshi calmly sipping their tea as Chibi-Chaos ran his little SD heart out. Naoko finally collapsed onto the karaoke stage, gasping for air.
"I hate...that fanboy," she said between deep gasps. "He's...too fast...when chibified."
"Ne, you must be feeling parched, having chased around a bunch of permanently-shrunken otaku for the past few lines," Chibi-Anarchy cheerfully remarked. "Why not have some juice?"
Grateful, Naoko accepted the can and chugged back the contents. Seconds later, the fic beheld a very super-deformed Sailormoon creator.
Chibi-Naoko: "Na ni?"
Chibi-Demolition looked over at Chibi-Anarchy. "You deliberately gave her the Panda Brand juice?"
Chibi-Anarchy just shrugged. "It seemed like the most humane thing to do at the moment."
Chibi-Naoko: [racing after Chaos] "SHIN'NE!!!"
Chibi-Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
Chibi-Anarchy: ^^ "Now she can keep pace with him."
"He's loose! Somebody catch him!" Sarcasm's voice suddenly exclaimed from down the hall.
The Chibi-fanboys & Chibi-Senshi paused to watch a chibified Red Mantle leap across the apartment. "Red Mantle Wipe!" he exclaimed, making a fast break for the door.
Chibi-Pandemonium groaned. "Oh no; the Panda Brand drinks got distributed to all the high schools too."
Abruptly SD Pesti-chan #3 popped up from beneath the couch cushions, sending Chibi-Demolition and Chibi-Carnage flying. "Hotcha! That means we now have a Chibi-Toilet Hanako! Onwards, to the bathroom!"
Chibi-Carnage & Chibi-Demolition: [evil demonic mode!] "USE A TREE, YOU FREAK!! DIL BRAND!!!"
However, even with their combined Slayers attack, the chibified version of the Dil Brand only catapulted SD Pesti #3 headfirst into the ceiling. "Ooooh!" Chibi-Minako & Chibi-Rei chorused, awed by the pair of stumpy legs dangling from the ceiling.
Sarcasm came charging into the living room moments later. "Anyone see where my Chibi-Red Mantle went?"
Chibi-Setsuna, seated at the table and slamming back yet another can of Coke, merely pointed at the front door.
Sarcasm snapped her fingers. "Damn. I was hoping to make him my newest assistant alongside SD Sheik and SD Gorgeous."
She made a move back to her room, but was abruptly stopped as Chibi-Usagi tugged on her leg stockings. "Ne ne, can you read me a story?" Chibi-Usagi asked.
A sweatdrop appeared next to Sarcasm's head. "Na ni?"
"Oooh! Read me one too!" Chibi-Minako added excitedly.
Pretty soon all the super-deformed Senshi were crowding Sarcasm for a bedtime story. Being exposed to all these uberkawaii ladies was too much, and Sarcasm lost control. Now reduced to fairy mode, Herself the Elf fluttered aimlessly around the apartment, dazed from her ordeal.
And then she spotted Demolition.
"RED HAIR!! Kakkoi!" the fairy-girl exclaimed, practically drooling over the RPG-fashioned fanboy. She instantly glomped onto the nearest bicep, hugging it for all she was worth.
Chibi-Demolition didn't seem all too impressed. "What is she doing?"
"Evidently she thinks you're cute, Demo-chan," Chibi-Carnage remarked, vastly amused. He turned to his clone. "Chibi-Me, how many times I have told you that your chopsticks are for handling the food, not impaling it."
Chibi-Me glared at Chibi-Carnage, and then tossed him an ohashi.
Chibi-Carnage sweatdropped. "You're challenging me to a duel?!"
"Get off me!" Chibi-Demolition exclaimed, flapping his arms in a frantic attempt to get Herself off. He managed to do this by flicking her into the nearest wall with his finger. "I'm never again dating a fairy," he stated matter-of-factly.
Seconds later he was squished by an oversized Zanba spatula. "And like I would ever find you attractive," Sarcasm retorted, storming back off into her room.
"It would appear that she only likes you when she's in fairy mode," Chibi-Chaos said. "Otherwise you'd be wearing one of her harem collars by now."
"Must be a fantasy genre thing," Chibi-Pandemonium agreed. "Dark Elves are very picky when it comes their playtoys."
"You're afraid of fairies?" Chibi-Ami asked, kawaiily leaning on the edge of the table.
Chibi-Demolition glowered. "Let's just say I had a rather unpleasant Elven Bride experience, and leave it at that."
One of Chibi-Setsuna's eyebrows lifted up. "Oh?"
Chibi-Demolition deliberately looked away, rather indignant about having to answer. "I got *it* stuck," he said finally. "There, I admitted it! You people happy?!"
SD Pesti #3 shook his head. "Tsk tsk. We could have provided you
with some harpy ooze to remedy that."
Chibi-Demolition: [evil demonic mode!] "WAS I ASKING FOR YOUR ADVICE?!"
"Ah, most honourable," Riot remarked, cracking his knuckles as he rode the elevator up to the 28th floor. "At last we have a chance for Fanboy Instrumentality-Fu."
"I just hope they have some cute bishounen," came Ruckus' disembodied voice.
Riot blinked, looking around for his compatriot. He finally located her seated at a small round table sipping tea...on the ceiling of the elevator car.
Riot: --;; "Showoff."
Ruckus: [shrug!] "I'm a ninja. I live half my life on the ceiling."
Riot shook his head. "Our most honourable employers at SEELE informed me that tonight was the perfect opportunity to implement their most honourable plans."
"And they are?" Ruckus inquired, picking her teeth with a shuriken dart.
"I have the most honourable hardcopies here in my outfit," Riot answered with a smug grin. He stuck his hand in one of his bulky sleeves and started fishing around. "Aha!"
Ruckus: [sweatdrop!] "That's a toothbrush."
Riot: ^^;; "I noticed that. Well, it must be here somewhere."
And so Riot began to pull out many things that were obviously not the hardcopies he was looking for. "Ano...naginata...inflatable duckie...Jyubei's eyepatch (o.O) Most dishonourable; I was to deliver that to Jyubei-chan last week...sai...pair of sais...three sais...love letter from Fubuki-chan...spare pair of pants. Ah, most honourable! I was
wondering where those had gone to!"
"Elevator's stopped," Ruckus suddenly announced, gleefully leaping from her upside-down table and swiftly bounding across the walls of the hallway. "Time to manhandle some cute boys!"
"Ruckus, slow down!" Riot called out after her. He tried to move, but found his entrance impeded by the gratuitous pile o' things revealed by his hidden smite-fu. Yet he managed to stuff everything back into his sleeves and scurry into the hallway before the elevator doors closed.
Judging by the enamored giggling from Ruckus--and the terrified screams of some poor male--Riot surmised she had already beaten him to the apartment. Ready to make a dramatic entrance and self-gratuitous pose, Riot threw open the door.
He facevaulted upon seeing a herd of frantic SD Pesti-chans stampeding in front of him.
"Ooh, all the SD bishounen are just so cute!" Ruckus exclaimed, chasing after the SD Pesti-chans. "Can I take them home with me?"
"Most dishonourably not!" Riot said sternly. "We are here for Instrumentality-fu, not fondle-fu!"
Ruckus pouted slightly at that. "You have your hobbies, I have mine."
Riot scratched his head with the blade of his katana, utterly baffled as he lifted Chibi-Pandemonium up by her uniform. "Anything-goes martial arts...chibi-fu? What the hell kind of technique is this?!"
Chibi-Pandemonium: [unimpressed] "If you don't put me down, judo-boy, you'll be discovering *my* technique very soon."
Chibi-Dark Mayhem: "But your naughty tentacles of justice don't even reach past his knees."
Chibi-Pandemonium: [throwing an SD hissy fit] "AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!"
Riot shook his head as he dropped Chibi-Pandemonium onto the floor. He then turned to Chibi-Minako as she strolled up to him with a Panda Brand drink can. "Juice?" Chibi-Minako offered.
Riot: ^^ "Ah, most honourable. I accept. After all, how can you use my intestines as a gift?"
Chibi-Minako: ^^ "Hai! And bad breath comes directly from the horse's mouth too!"
Chibi-Rei: [sweatdrop!] "Maybe they're related."
SD Pesti-chan #2 rolled his eyes, leaving the only two full-sized avatars to their confusion (and subsequent chibification). He passed by the balcony, and happened to notice Chibi-Chaos sitting there outside by himself.
"Ne, what are you doing here?" he asked, joining Chibi-Chaos.
Chibi-Chaos warily glanced around. "Haruka and Michiru are making Hotaru take a bath...and I'm currently hiding from that crazed catgirl avatar. For some strange reason, she's been chasing me around for hours!"
SD Pesti #2 nodded. "Nothing really new, then."
"No, not especially."
The two shrunken otaku sat back and stared up at what the could see of the Tokyo beyond the large guardrail.
"Ne, Pesti-chan," Chibi-Chaos said. "I need to talk to you about Makoto."
One of SD Pesti #2's eyebrows went up. "You're challenging me to another duel?"
Chibi-Chaos shook his head. "Hardly. Last time the six of you ganged up on me and each picked an internal organ to pummel. And I didn't appreciate the Brussels sprouts either!"
SD Pesti #2 shrugged. "That's what happens to our cabbage smite when we go super-deformed. But you've digressed."
"Yare yare," Chibi-Chaos muttered, looking particularly agitated. "Look, I...I can't compete against you, especially with all six of you."
Chibi-Chaos squirmed. Evidently what he was trying to say was an awkward thing. That or he glued his tongue to the roof of his mouth with peanut butter again. "Pesti-chan, you...you have my permission to date Makoto."
SD Pesti-chan #2's eyebrows were raised instantly. "Na ni?"
Chibi-Chaos gave a beleaguered sigh. "Fate is a cruel, leather-clad mistress, Pesti-chan. And if it's one thing I've learned over the past two seasons of Fanboys!, it's that she enjoys using her whip whenever she can. And I tire of getting whipped."
"Wait a minute," SD Pesti-chan #2 cut in, still uncertain if he was in a freakish dream sequence. "You're not going after Makoto anymore?"
Chibi-Chaos resignedly nodded an affirmation.
SD Pesti-chan #2 grinned and leapt into the air. "YES!! So, does this mean you and Hotaru are going steady now?"
Chibi-Chaos groaned and put his head between his legs. Leaving the super-deformed Chaos to contemplate now having to answer to Haruka & Michiru after every date, SD Pesti-chan #2 adjusted his glasses and headed back inside.
"By the way," Chibi-Chaos added, snagging SD Pesti #2's collar. "You do anything to make her unhappy, and I will come after you with every last umbrella in my arsenal." He stuck his head into the apartment. "This especially applies to you, Number Three!!"
SD Pesti #3: ^-^ [with wooden spanker spoon] "Oro?"
"Ne," Chibi-Ami remarked, looking around the living room. "Whatever happened to that catgirl who was terrorizing Chaos?"
"Oh, we're not going to be hearing from Maddy for quite some time," Anarchy chuckled.
"How'd you finally get rid of the nekojin avatar?" SD Pesti-chan #5 asked.
Chibi-Chaos: o.O [racing through the apartment] "KYAAAAA!! SHE FOUND ME!!!"
Chibi-Maddy: :} [chasing after him] "Mmmm, Maddy smells something delicious!"
Nekotank Hell Custom: ^-^ "Niyao!"
Catgirl NukuNuku: ^-^ "NukuNuku likes fish!"
Battle Athlete Tanya: "Goodie! Something to eat!"
SD Pesti #5 sweatdropped, slowly turning to Chibi-Anarchy. "You...duct-taped a salmon to Chaos' back?"
"He's been running for two hours straight and still has yet to notice the fish," she added with a smile.
"Now that was refreshing," Chibi-Haruka sighed, stretching her arms out as she, Chibi-Michiru and Chibi-Hotaru emerged from the jacuzzi.
Chibi-Michiru chuckled as she leaned her head on Chibi-Haruka's shoulder. "We should go super-deformed like this more often."
"Ne, where's Chaos-chan?" Chibi-Hotaru asked.
Her answer came in a blast of otaku barreling along at Mach 2, a large trail of dust left in his wake. Chibi-Chaos was managing to dodge the frighteningly swift catgirl, but he got so caught up in his screaming that he ran right into the wall.
Her prey before her, Chibi-Maddy stalked towards him. Naturally Chibi-Chaos panicked upon seeing that he was backed into a corner. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the inevitable shredfest.
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