And so continues this long fic's journey into nonsense!
Yes indeed, just when it looked like an ending was in sight, we hunted it down and mercilessly shot it, then stuffed and mounted it in my den. What? Why are you all looking at me like that?
Hey, it was either that, or turn it into a rug, okay?!
But I digress.
Anyhoo, a number of hours later found most everyone chibied out, sprawled across floor and furniture. Half of them were asleep, and the other half were just too darned exhausted to care. But that still didn't stop them from trying to figure out why Chibi-Ruckus had staplegunned her bed to the ceiling and was sleeping upside-down with a Wufei plushie.
But this quiet lull came to an abrupt end, when who should show up but PallaPalla! Yes, the femme fatale of the Amazoness Quartet (cute as a button and just as smart ^^) had appeared, ready to extract their precious dream mirrors.
PallaPalla smiled to herself. "This is perfect! With all of you so small, stealing your dream mirrors will be a piece of cake for PallaPalla!"
Naturally the fanboys snapped into action. However, Chibi-Chaos snapped himself a little too hard, and much like a rubber band flung himself into the kitchen cupboards. And Chibi-Pandemonium & Chibi-Anarchy weren't going to be of any help in this scene, the two of them belting out songs at the karaoke machine.
Chibi-Dark Mayhem simply laughed. "Ha! Like a lame-ass super-deformity would ever stop me, Yarf-chan!"
PallaPalla: [evil oversized head!] "MY NAME IS NOT YARF-CHAN!!!"
Chibi-Dark Mayhem shrugged. "Whatever. Try this, you petty excuse for a villain."
Upon stealing a kiss from Chibi-Ami, he closed his eyes and began to summon one of the Schneider spells. This of course was done after Chibi-Chaos hosed him off with the fire extinguisher. "Zazard, zazard, scrono-rono-sook. Burning in the depths of darkness, fires of hell become my sword and strike down my enemy! VENOM!!!!"
And with a kawaii li'l *poof!*, a small lightening bolt shot across the living room...and fell flat about two feet short of where PallaPalla was standing.
The Chibi-fanboys crowded around the small scorch mark on the floor. "Looks like our smites have been chibified too," SD Pesti-chan #2 remarked.
SD Pesti #4: ^-^ [in a cheerleader's uniform] "Banzai! Banzai!"
SD Pesti #5: o.O "Since when did you crossdress?"
Chibi-Chaos stepped into the ring. "Leave this to a real overlord. I invoke...Bathtub-fu!!!"
Abruptly an inflatable kid's pool drifted down from above, a stunned Chibi-Riot sitting inside.
Chibi-Riot: ^^;; "Most dishonourable."
Chibi-Carnage grinned and pulled out a Beam Cannon. "Ha! You guys are such amateurs. I can handle this!"
His eyes ballooned out upon squeezing the trigger, a small cork on a string popping out from the barrel. "I feel so dirty," he lamented, wincing. "We've become as useless as a Pink Sugar Heart Attack!"
Chibi-Chaos: "Ne, what about that guy, Yang Wen-Li? Surely he could help us!"
Chibi-Carnage: [sigh] "Alas, that poor guy, Yang Wen-Li. I knew him, Chaos. And when I finally tracked him down, I promptly wasted him with my Eye of God."
Chibi-Chaos: [eyebrow twitch!] "And you wonder why you have so few friends."
"My turn," Chibi-Demolition stated. He pulled out his Sword of
Light, raised it over his head and charged. Unfortunately, the sword was still its regular size, and Chibi-Demolition pitched over backwards as the weight shifted in behind himself.
The Chibi-fanboys smacked their foreheads upon seeing a frantic Chibi-Demolition flailing about in the air, desperately clinging to the hilt of his sword.
"Kyaaaaa!!!" SD Pesti-chan #4 shrieked, tossing his pompoms into the air. "We're losing!"
SD Pesti #5: "What can we do?"
SD Pesti #6: "We'll whup her ass, that's what!!"
SD Pesti #5: --;; "Oh, and I suppose she'll relent after you boot her ankles?"
SD Pesti #6: [now having stuffed #5 into the dishwasher] "Anyone else with a comment?"
SD Pesti #3: ^-^ "How about I steal her panties?"
SD Pesti #6: [now having stuffed #3 into the dishwasher too] "Next!"
SD Pesti #1: [sniffle!] "I just wanna cuddle my Mako-chan."
Other SD Pesti-chans: "SHADDUP!!"
SD Pesti #2: "As much as I'd hate to break up this unique reenactment of schizophrenia, might I suggest we let the Sailor Senshi try. This is their series, after all."
SD Pesti #4: ^^ [with pompoms!] "Waaaaiiiii!!"
And so without further delay, the Chibi-Senshi pulled out their henshins and called forth their planetary deities. Bright flashes of light erupted everywhere, and many a chibi nekkid flashes were seen by all.
There's not much else to describe here, folks.
Moving right along, the fuku-clad Chibi-Senshi formed a circle around PallaPalla.
"How dare you interrupt our chance to get back in touch with our inner chibi!" Chibi-Sailor Moon exclaimed, doing the usual hand gesture thing. "In the name of the moon, we shall punish you!"
The eight Chibi-Senshi (remember, Hotaru's not one...yet) powered up their attacks and let them fly. However, the results were...shall we say, not very impressive. Only the Outer Senshi's attacks had enough momentum to reach PallaPalla. And even then, they pinged off PallaPalla like styrofoam balls.
PallaPalla glanced down at the World Shivering, Shallow Submerge and Not-Quite-Dead Scream balls of energy on the floor. "This is the best you could do?"
The Chibi-Senshi could only shrug.
"Hmph. This must be PallaPalla's lucky day," she stated. "Now, PallaPalla shall take your dream mirrors!"
Suddenly PallaPalla disappeared in a pile of debris and metal as the F-91 Gundam came crashing through the ceiling. The entire apartment shook with a resounding THUD! as the mobile suit landed.
Everyone stared up...and up and up and up at the chestpiece, wondering who had intervened just in the nick of time. The cockpit hatch opened up, to reveal none other than--!
Chibi-Carnage: ^-^ [excited li'l fanboy] "Chibi-Me!"
[Cue the facevaults!]
Chibi-Me stood on his chair, waving his clasped hands over his head in victory. And cheering him on, Chibi-Carnage happily danced around the living room, waving little fans. Right until the dust settled, and it was revealed that Chibi-Me had completely missed squishing PallaPalla.
Chibi-Carnage: o.O [ack!] "Wha...Chibi-Me! What the hell's this?!"
Triumphant still, PallaPalla prepared to unleash her attack that would tear out everyone's dream mirrors. Chibi-fanboys and Chibi-Senshi alike grabbed hold of one another, preparing themselves for the end.
Just then, the music for Ride of the Valkyries came on.
The entire fic was reduced to slow motion.
And out from the bathroom appeared the army of 500 Chibi-Havocs, surfing towards PallaPalla as their Cream Lemon supernova flooded the hallway.
PallaPalla had a good two seconds to revert into terrified SD mode before the whipped cream overture struck. Defying all conventions of physics (yeah, like that's a stretch in Anime), she made a mad dash on the crest of the Cream Lemon tsunami as the hooting and cheering Chibi-Havocs surfed ever so closer for a nekkid flash.
Everyone silently watched as the Cream Lemon curved in the middle of the living room and then spilled over the balcony. The world's largest waterfall (with a lemony twist) was created as tonnes upon endless tonnes of whipped cream gushed over the side and plummeted to the streets below.
PallaPalla: [teary SD Amazoness-chan!] "Waaah! Why is this happening to PallaPalla?!"
Chibi-Havoc-kun: ^-^ "Hotcha! Now this is what I call making a splash in the Sailormoon universe!"
Chibi-Pandemonium: [groan!] "Oto-ka-saaaaaaan...!!"
"Carnage!" Chibi-Dark Mayhem shouted over the fierce roar of the whipped cream that just kept coming and coming. "Open that dimensional rift again!!"
"Hai!" Chibi-Carnage exclaimed, pulling out a remote control and pressing the large, red button on it.
Down on the streets below, a large black hole opened up moments before the monsoon of molten cream would have struck the earth and no doubt covered the planet. Two hours later, the last of the Cream Lemon was emptied out over the side, and then the portal vanished.
Carefully the group of SD characters appraised their world.
There was a large white skidmark in the hallway, but other than that, the fic was Sploot-free. And there was much rejoicing.
Tokyo Proper Clean-up Committee: ^^ "Banzai! Banzai!"
That just left everyone to ponder the significance of the past scene.
Chibi-Chaos: [nonchalantly enough] "So...who saw that one coming?"
So all was well that ended well.
Or so some fanboys thought.
"So Maddy's decided to renew her vendetta against you?" Chibi-Michiru drawled.
"Oh, we're not going to be hearing from her ladyship of Madness for quite some time," Chibi-Anarchy chuckled.
"How'd you get rid of the nekojin avatar this time?" SD Pesti-chan #5 asked.
Chibi-Chaos: o.O "KYAAAAA!!"
Chibi-Maddy: :} [chasing after him] "Niyao!"
Totoro: ^_^ "......"
Ana & Una Puma: "Damn, he's got a sexy scent!"
Pink: "Oooh! Santa, I found something yummy!"
SD Pesti-chan #5 sweatdropped, slowly turning to Anarchy. "You...dumped catnip on him?"
"He's been running for five hours straight and still hasn't noticed he smells funny," she added with a smile.
Chibi-Demolition turned to Chibi-Carnage. "So did you get the co-ordinates to Kain's dimension right this time, nii-san?"
"Naturally," Chibi-Carnage retorted. "I carried the decimal point this time."
"Hold it," Chibi-Ami-chan countered, inspecting his calculations. "Akito, according to this, you rounded off your final number. That means the portal ended up somewhere else."
Chibi-Carnage: [sweatdrop!] "What?"
Chibi-Chaos: "Great! So where did the Chibi-Havoc army go this time?!"
Meanwhile, at Club Anipike, Misato heard a strange thumping noise from inside the women's bathroom. Curious, she walked over and opened up the restroom door to find out what it was....
Back at the Dead Moon Circus, a rather dejected, nekkid and whipped cream-covered Amazoness made her way into the Quartet's private chamber. The other three ladies stared at her with wide and stunned expressions on
"What happened to you?" CeresCeres exclaimed.
"Waaah!" PallaPalla sniffled. "Why does PallaPalla have to be the one to keep on doing the mirror thing with those guys?"
Retorted JunJun, "Because you're the only one dumb enough to keep on volunteering for the job."
"Well...PallaPalla's quitting," PallaPalla stated, tossing her magic marble-thingy over her shoulder. "PallaPalla is tired of getting smited, and PallaPalla's tired of losing her underwear, and more than anything else, PallaPalla's tired of getting called Yarf-chan!!"
VesVes looked to the other members of the Amazoness Quartet. "If she's leaving, then so am I."
"Same here," CeresCeres and JunJun emphatically agreed.
"I do not want to get stuck in any scene with those fanboys," JunJun said. She turned to her liberated companions. "So...Planet Hentai for dinner?"
Amazoness Quartet: ^^ "Hai!"
And so, since we're running out of pages very quickly, the author decided just to throw something together at the last minute that resembled an ending. Naturally, who should come to the rescue for the fanboys and Sailor Senshi but...oh, how about Desolation?
Chibi-Desolation: --;; "Don't count on it."
[Cue an SD Space Colony which falls from its mobile display and smites Chibi-Desolation!]
^-^ Tee hee!
His lordship Chaos here. Well, this SD Double Feature marks the end of the second season of Fanboys! fanfiction. It's been an absurdly long and most mind-twisting experience, and I'm sure my therapists are regretting me ever having embarked upon it.
Yet my trip down the Yellow Fic Road was not a solo one. Many thanks is extended to those conspirators and overlords who helped conjure up many memorable & infamous scenes: to my fellow overlords and ladies of Mass Destruction, MSTiers Nightbreak & Jolt, the ever-tormented Greenbeans, and to the countless fanficfic authors who've so diligently self-inserted themselves into our self-insertion series.
I also want to thank our new initiate Demolition for signing himself over to me without having read the fine print first. Kudos also goes to Maddy for having the foresight to opt for a mere cameo appearance instead of going for the "lifetime of slavery to me" contract.
But my warmest appreciation must go out to...my team of kawaii, all-female writing assistants. For without them walking around half-naked and pampering me all the time, I wouldn't have the raging ego necessary to write such deranged stories.
And I would like thank you, the readers and little people, for all your support in both Curse of the Fanboys!!! and FBZ! Now I can imagine that after reading this chibified adventure, you all must be parched.
Can I offer you some juice?
His lordship Chaos: ^^ [hiding the 'Panda Brand' label] "Go ahead! It's on the house."
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