> Haruka and Michiru came in, arm and arm and hand in blouse oh wait, you shouldn't have read that. Hotaru was trailing behind them. Seeing Chaos, Hotaru ran over and gave him a hug.

        Hotaru: [giggle!] "Ohayo, Chaos-chan!"
        [Hotaru leaps into a stunned & frightened Chaos' arms!]
        Hotaru: "Ne, Chaos-chan, I was wondering when you could take me out to the park again? Remember how we watched sun set, and then you kissed me...!!"
        Chaos: o.O "Oh no...."
        Mayhem: "If I recall right, she was the one who pounced on him and kissed him."
        Pesti: "Do you honestly think that's gonna save his super-deformed hide?"
        Haruka: [glare!] "Chaos, just what do you think you're doing with Hotaru?"
        Carnage: [eyebrow twitch!] "Chaos...!!!! What are you doing with our queen goddess of Mass Destruction?!?!"
        [Haruka pulls out her Space Sword. Havoc pulls out his Zanba sword. Naturally, Chaos freaks!]
        Chaos: "KYAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
        Carnage: "Haruka, you take the left. I'll take the right!"
        Hotaru: "Haruka-poppa, quit teasing him!"
        Michiru: [smile!] "They're so cute when they act like that."
        Setsuna: [shrug] "If you think so, Michiru."
        Havoc: "Puu-chan, my time-traveling goddess!! Forget Mamoru and let's have a thousand nights of hentaific pleasure!!"
        Setsuna: [glare] "Dead Scream."

        >Seeing that, Haruka runs over with her space sword and gave Chaos a third degree burn right through the middle of him.

        Anarchy: "Aw, it's only a flesh wound."
        Carnage: [sigh!] "Haruka, I thought we had agreed upon me going left and you going right."
        Haruka: "No, you said I would take his left and you would take his right."
        Chaos: "This is not up to a debate, you two! I'm dying over here!"

        >Pesti: Do you think that will heal?
        >Mayhem: Maybe, if he doesn't stop picking at it.
        >Famine: Ok. So the Crazed Killer who is sitting patiently in the corner for us to get out of his or her way is not any of the inner or outer senshi, it isn't Anarchy and friends. So who is it?
        >Chaos: (still wincing from the pain) I know who hates me enough to try and kill me. The only person who knows that I am number one. It's Beans!
        >(cue the flying octopus on the back of Chaos' head)

        Terrified flying octopus: o.O "SPLAT!!"
        Chaos: "Argh! Curse you Beans! That lake god will be mine at last, and you'll never be able to stop me!!"
        Beans: [with a roll of duct tape] "Care to repeat that little comment, Chaos?"

        > So Beans came into the dining room carrying her lake god. Andy and Ophelia followed carrying many pizzas.

        Andy: [lament!] "I can't believe I'm in this deranged series again."
        Ophelia: "Ohayo!! Yo, Anarchy, got any more of that sake from the Omakefic?"
        Tasuki: "Hai! We're playing the Fanboys! drinking game. Every time Chaos gets smited we chug down a cup of sake!"
        Chaos: "Give up the lake god, Beans! We all know who it belongs to!"
        [Chaos is smited by a terrified, flying octopus and then duct taped to the ceiling!]
        Anarchy, Tasuki & Ophelia: [chugging a cup of sake!] "Kanpai!!"
        Chaos: "A little help here, guys?"
        Minako: "Aw, but you look just so kawaii up there, Duo!"
        Mayhem: "Ne, Cameraman Dan, be sure to get to full panoramic surround shot to fully see how duct-taped he is to the ceiling."
        Cameraman Dan: [V-sign!] "Hai!"
        Beans: "There we go. Six rolls of duct tape should do it."
        Pesti: "Isn't that a little too much?"
        Chaos: "I can still byte you Beans! Come back here and I'll give you the smiting of your life!...as soon as I get out of this duct tape."
        Beans: "You were saying, Pesti-chan?"
        Pesti: [sweatdrop!] "H-Hai...I think we have another roll of duct tape in the kitchen."

        >Mayhem: Do you notice that every time somebody is accused of being the killer they walk in with their accomplices. Then they bring something for a party and also bring a smiting for Chaos?

        Mayhem: "Authors' conspiracy; it gets us every time. Famine, I'm looking in your general direction here."

        >Havoc: And they also bring their panties which I gladly will keep for them. (cue the ladies suddenly feeling lighter and a little drafty)

        Havoc: [feeling his newest acquisitions!] "Ah, Sailor silkies! Sweet nectar of the gods!"
        Chaos: "You wanna meet them in the afterlife Havoc?! Give my Mako-chan back her panties!!"
        Pesti: "*WHOSE* Mako-chan, Chaos?!"
        Makoto: [groan!] "This is so embarrassing."
        Havoc: "Ha ha! What can you do, Chaos? You're duct taped to the ceiling!"
        Carnage: [cracking knuckles] "How about letting me take a shot at him? Summon Gundam Nataku!"

        >Pesti: Echi!!
        >Famine: So who's left?
        >Chaos: Please don't say Star Sailor Vega or Sailor Star Polaris. Oh shit!
        >(cue the Gentle Uterus which hits Chaos with great accuracy)

        Chaos: "Itaiiii!!! Curse you, Sailor Star Polaris!"
        [Chaos is smited with two more Gentle Uteruses that crash through what's left of the ceiling.]
        Mayhem: "Actually, there's not much left of the apartment period."
        [Everyone turns to a rather nonchalant Carnage.]
        Carnage: [sipping his pina colata] "What? What'd I do?"

        > And who should walk in but Star Sailor Vega and STAR Sailor Polaris.

        Chaos: [with crucifix!] "Back! Back I say!!"
        Polaris: "OHO HO HO HOH OHO HO HO!! Nice to see you again, Chaos."
        Vega: "Saaaay, is there any more of that Hard Lemonade left?"
        Chaos: "Ne Pesti-chan, why don't you go over there and ask Polaris out for a date?"
        Pesti: "I remain loyal only to my Mako-chan!"
        Chaos: "*YOUR* Mako-chan?!?!"

        >Anarchy: This is the best party I've been to yet. People bring gifts for fun and pain.
        >Chaos: ouch. help me
        >Mayhem: Maybe the Killer isn't after Chaos. Maybe the Killer is after me. Come on Charon, show yourself.

        Mayhem: [hoisting up the Ruruoni Kenshin Zanba blade] "Here Charon, Charon, Charon...! Here Charon, Charon, Charon...!"
        Carnage: "Excuse me, but did I say you could borrow that?"

        > And in walked lord Charon and ScrapperWolf carrying Guinness. Mayhem and Charon glared at each other and would have started duking it out right there but Ami came and walked right between them and her "smell" put the to lords into a trance and they followed like mindless zombies after her.

        Charon: "Oh, by the way, did you get my lastest revengefics?"
        Chaos: [groan!] "No! Not more fanficfics to read over and critique!"
        Mayhem: [sigh!] "It's a living."
        Carnage: "Or a smiting. Whichever comes first."
        [Mayhem, Famine & Pesti-chan warily glance over at Chaos, and step away from him.]
        Chaos: "Such wonderful support here, you two!"
        [Haruka & Michiru start singing a duet on "I Want to Be the Wind".]
        Anarchy: [chug chug chug!!] "Ah sugoi sugoi sugoi!!"
        Tasuki: "Man that blonde guy can really sing!!"
        Ami: "Tasuki, Haruka's a woman."
        Tasuki: o.O "You've got a Nuriko here too?!"

        > Famine went directing the people to the ballroom where they could put the party stuff and get ready to have a great time...as soon as the killer was unmasked.

        Chaos: "Now if only we could find the damned plug to Anarchy's pan-dimensional Karaoke machine."
        Mayhem: "Chaos, it's pan-dimensional so it doesn't need to have a plug."
        Anarchy, Minako, Usagi, Ophelia, Polaris, Vega & ScrapperWolf: [singing "Fly Me To The Moon", Asuka's Bossa Techno version!] "I love you! (I love you!) Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars!"
        Beans: [eyebrow twitch!] "Aiya."
        Rei: [sweatdrop!] "......"
        Chaos: [groan!] "We're doomed."
        Charon: "Hey! Anyone wanna read this Wedding peach manga I just bought?"
        Pesti: o.O
        Chaos: "KYAAAA!!!!! Even worse! What are you waiting for?! Smite him smite him smite him smite him!!"
        Mayhem: "The very notion of girls fighting evil in wedding gowns with dumb fruit attacks is even more ridiculous than a gentle uterus fighting evil."
        [Mayhem sidesteps a falling Gentle Uterus. Chaos is not so fortunate.]
        Chaos: "Hey! Am I just a black hole for random smitings or what?!"
        [Cue the exploding pomegranates of death!!]
        Camerman Dan: "It's unanimous!"
        Beans: "How'd he managed to free himself from all that duct tape anyways?!"

        >Famine: So who's left to unmask?
        >Havoc: I don't know that but I do know who's left to be unpantied.
        >Here Puu-chan, come to Hentenno-sama!

        [Cue Havoc bounding across the Email with more panties!]
        Havoc: "I got Puu-chan's panties! I got Puu-chan's panties! I got--!"
        Setsuna: "Dead Scream."
        [Setsuna's Dead Scream attack wastes Havoc, and hits Pesti-chan. Zoantrophy ensues!]

        > Havoc was sent blasting back from a Dead Scream. Then the sun rose and female Havoc became male Havoc. His ideas didn't change even though his body did.

        Everybody: o.O
        Male Havoc: "OHO OH HO HO OH HOH HOH!!!"
        Makoto: [looking at the Zoantrophy creature] "So what do we do about him?"
        Mayhem: [handing Chaos a whip] "And remember, he has to call you the Queen."
        Chaos: [eyebrow twitch!] "Hush Newt-boy!!"

        >Havoc: Man I wish I had more Senshi to depanty.

        All: "SHADDUP HAVOC!!!"
        Charon: "There's always surfing A Sailor Moon Romance and snagging something on the hentai page."
        Mayhem: "Been there."
        Havoc: "Stole panties from that!"
        Chaos: "Do you mind?!"
        Havoc: "No."

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