His lordship Chaos presents....



Happosai: ^-^ "A brassiere! A brassiere!"


MUCH FANSERVICE AND REJOICING




           [Cue the Hentenno!]

Havoc: [seated on a couch] "Ohayo, everyone. The author asked me to interview some of the Sailor Scream 2 cast, so we could appreciate the Chaosfic a little more. Naturally we could start by interviewing Chaos...but since he's not a cute nubile Senshi, I'm just going to skip him and go right to the nekkid flashes."

Chaos: [walking onto the stage in a fuku] "Hey, when I go Haley and put on this outfit, I think I'm pretty damned cute and nubile."

Havoc: "Ano...you've got the fuku, certainly. But you'd better check your cross-dressing tendencies again."

Chaos: --;; [sulking] "Nobody ever appreciates my snappy fashion sense. And here I spent all last night shaving my legs for nothing."

           [Chaos is suddenly hauled off by a small herd of SD Pesti-chans!]

Havoc: "As I was perving before being interrupted, today we're here to chat with some of the Senshi involved with this project, and strip them naked in the process. First up: CereCere!"

CereCere: [seated in a guest chair] "Ano...you weren't really serious about that whole 'strip' thing, were you?"

Havoc: "My dear CereCere, I am the Hentenno. Fanservice IS my job, and I take if very seriously."

           [Havoc springs into the air and makes off with CereCere's outfit!]

Havoc: ^-^ "Hotcha! Silken treasures for Hentenno!"

CereCere: [chasing Havoc around the set] "Give those back!"

           [Suddenly a frantic Suoh Takamura races onto the set, eager to find a place to hide!]

Hysteria: [somewhere off-stage] "Suoh-chan, where are you hiding? You cannot escape from kawaii li'l Hysteria, no matter how much a kawaii little ninja-chan you are!"

Suoh: [turning to CereCere] "Can you help me find a place to--(o.O;) Woah! You're not wearing any clothes!"

CereCere: [lobbing her pool cue at Suoh] "Pervert!"

           [Hysteria leaps into the scene, desperately seeking Suoh. Yet trained in the ninja art of stealth, Suoh blends into the background by taking a twig and holding it up in front of his face!]

Hysteria: [looking around] "Shimatta! Suoh-chan escaped again! All Hysteria can see here are some kawaii little chair-chans, Havoc-poppa, Cere-chan, and this kawaii little tree-chan. Where did Suoh-chan go?"

           [Hysteria walks off, waving a kawaii frilly apron for Suoh to try on once she catches him.]

Suoh: [whew!] "If anyone asks, you didn't see me."

CereCere: [dropping oversized marbles on Havoc] "I'm a little busy here, kid! Can we talk later?"

Havoc: ^-^ "Oro?"

           *SPLOOT!*


Red Mantle: [leaping across the scene & using a squeegie to clean off all the Cream Lemon!] "Aku Mantle squeegie wipe!"

Havoc: "Well, seeing as how CereCere was washed away with the Cream Lemon flashflood, let's talk instead to Haruka about her role in this."

Haruka: "Well, it's kinda fun to be a deranged homicidal maniac, especially since I get to work with Michiru on that. I mean, even though we're Outer Senshi there are still some Magical Girl union rules we have to abide by in the Anime...but fanfics are fair game for everything! So instead of intervening and saving the day, I was running around killing my friends left, right and centre. I was in a rather jovial mood the entire time."

Havoc: [nodding] "Sounds like a good way to vent some steam. But Haruka, there's been a burning question on everyone's mind since the start of this Halloweenfic, and I think you're the only one to answer it. Do you *really* wear boxers, or briefs?"

Haruka: o.O; [blink blink!] "Na ni?"

Havoc: ^-^ "Hey, why let you have all the fun? I'll find out for myself!"

Haruka: "What the?!"

Havoc: ^-^ [pouncing on Haruka!] "Itadakimasu!"


           [Outside the interview room....]

Chaos: [with his ear against the door] "What the? I can't make out what's going on. At first it sounded like they were reporting on Sailor Scream 2, but now there's just a lot of scuffling...and groping too, I think."

Dark Mayhem: "Oh, that. Haruka's just being debriefed."

           [Suddenly the door is thrown open, sending Chaos into the wall! Out bounces Havoc on his ass made out of spring, Haruka hot in pursuit!]

Havoc: ^-^ "Hotcha! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a thong!"

Haruka: [indignant] "Hey, I was saving that for Michiru!"


           [Cue the scene change as SD versions of the Geobreeders cast dance the night away to "Dynamite Mambo!"]


Havoc: ^-^ [with a thong hanging out from the pocket of his DOJI BOY jacket] "We're back! And now we're going to interview--"

Touga: [holding out his arms, jacket flying open] "Can't you hear it? The sound of the End of the Fic?"

Havoc: --;; "--someone other than him. SECURITY!!"

           [Bean Bandit lumbers onto the set and drags Touga off.]

Havoc: "Next up is Sailor Scream 2's first victim, Minako!"

Minako: o.O; [caught chowing down on donuts!] "Mph!"

Havoc: [sigh!] "Okay, we'll just wait for her to finish that off. In the meantime, we're also privileged to see this exclusive alternate ending Chaos made for Sailor Scream 2. Let's look at it now."


           Yet another city in the desolate wasteland had been saved from a bunch of exaggeratedly-drawn biker gangs with badly coloured mohawks. God's Army, with its leaders Sergeant Mad and the mysterious Colonel, had not lasted along against Kenshiro's absurdly-titled attacks.
           Now that the village was safe, it was time for Kenshiro to kick back and relax with a nubile villager woman. She laid out on the bed, naked and spread-eagled just for him. "Take me, Kenshiro!" she moaned.
"Take me now!"
           Kenshiro puffed out his chest, his flexing muscles shredding his shirt. He walked up to the bed and knelt down between her thighs. Gathering his immense strength, he clenched his fists tightly, and then extended the index and middle fingers.
           Taking careful aim, Kenshiro psyched himself up and then let loose with a series of rapid fire, flying jabs at her crotch. "YAT-AT-TAT-AT-TAT!!!!"


Chaos: "That wasn't even Sailor Scream 2, Havoc! What gives?"

Havoc: ^^; "Oh, we must have shown the wrong fic there. That was a scene from my newest Havocfic: Fistfuck of the Northstar!"

Chaos: o.O; [going into shock] "F-Fist...what?"

Havoc: "Charon, do we have the right fic this time?"

Charon: "Hai! Scrolling the alternate ending!"

Chaos: o.O;;;; "F-Fist...what?"


           Serenity found herself trapped. The only means of escape would be to tempt fate and try to run past the Tuxedo Kamen-clad killer in front of her. She glanced back over her shoulder, and saw the dizzying sight of the city far below. The chase looked like it would end here: at the pinnacle of the Crystal Palace. The glow of the city lights was all around them, and her long blonde hair fluttered in the cool night winds.
           "Usagi," the Tuxedo Kamen killer said, reaching out to her. "You do not yet realize your importance to the Dark Kingdom. You were like us, only you have forgotten what you did in the first Sailor Scream."
           Usagi angrily shook her head. "I remember you from the Silver Millennium," she stated, tears threatening to stream down her face. "You murdered my father. And now you've murdered all my friends too!"
           The killer cocked his head sideways a little, and then reached up with a hand to grasp at the eyemask. The facade was pulled off, and then the tophat was removed. Usagi stifled a gasp upon seeing the blue eyes and blonde hair of Jadeite.
           "No, Usagi...I am your father," he stated.
           Usagi dropped to her knees, looking up in despair at the stars. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
           "Search your feelings," Jadeite said, stepping toward her. "You know it to be true."
           He stopped short as Usagi pulled out a Beam Cannon. "I said, I DON'T think so," she stated emphatically.


Havoc: "Well, that was insightful, wasn't it?"

Chaos: o.O;;;;;;;; "F-Fist...what?"

Havoc: "Now then, for our final interview, I'm here with Setsuna Meio. She winds up saving the day and gets Endymion all to herself at the end of the fic. Setsuna, it's good to see you again."

Setsuna: [sitting cross-legged in a guest chair] "It's always a pleasure, Havoc."

Havoc: "Speaking of pleasure, Pu-chan...would you mind if I just ripped off all your clothes with my teeth right here?"

Setsuna: [laughs] "I'd love it."

Havoc: o.O; "Hotcha! Someone cue the ending. NOW."



           [End!]