I used to love her...but then I had to dub her



The poll: Who do you think deserves to be smited the most?

          a) Desolation
          b) NinNin
          c) Chibiusa
          d) Akio
          e) a Puchuu bear
          f) Mokona

And the winner is...c) Chibiusa, by a landslide vote!!!

Was it ever in any doubt?



          His lordship Chaos cheerfully presents:


CHIBIUSADISM




          With Havoc back in his perverted groove, Planet Hentai was once again reinstated as the entertainment hotspot in Tokyo. Ludicrously long line-ups of citizens and Anime characters ran down the sidewalks for blocks on end, all of them hoping to gain even momentary access to the raved-about Planet. On the streets vendors jostled to sell authentic and imitation Tshirts with the slogans: 'Perv the Planet', 'Fanservice With A Smile', 'CR34M 0F L33T' and 'Tentacle Monsters Attacked my Private Junior College & All I Got Was This Lousy Tshirt'.
          The mood inside the club was a rowdy one.
          After having been subjected to the bizarre leathery fetishes of Red Queen Kasumi, many of the patrons were eager to bump, grind and jiggle their way across the dance floor. With Aika's famed Delmo girls making the security rounds, and the Variable Geo waitresses roller-skating down the aisles & stocking the tables with food and beverage orders, the atmosphere was one to revel topless in.
          And there, lounging back in the Benkyo Brigade's private booth, one arm around Megumi Amano, the other arm around Minni May Hoskins and a random tentacle working its way around Mai Shiranui (who was still going by her new name Jigglymuff), was the Hentenno himself. Yes, there sat the epitome of ecchi, the Fuhrer of fanservice, the Mister Thang of the almighty poontang: Havoc-kun!!
          "I've been away from this for too long," he sighed wistfully. "In fact, I'm so glad to be back here that even Bishie Thursdays aren't so bad anymore."
          Minni May giggled as she took a sip of Bradeaux '87 from her wine glass. "Things just weren't the same without you wearing the Royal Thong. I'm just glad you retook your title of uberperv. I mean, guns & grenades are fun and all, but Chicago just doesn't have any of the fun love hotels like Tokyo does."
          Megumi nodded in agreement. "Of course, poor Kintaro's having to contend with sorting through all the backlog since your absence began, plus now he's also busy covering for Charon's job as your personal assistant."
          As if on cue, a weary Kintaro shuffled past them. Armloads of papers with height, weight & bust measurements were stuffed in amidst the bras and panties Havoc had left laying around from the Splootenany the night before.
          "How're you faring, Kintaro?" Havoc asked.
          Despite his exasperation with all the pantywork, Kintaro managed a thumbs-up as he walked over to the offices. "B-Benkyo...."
          "He'll be back soon enough," Minni May assured the concerned Havoc. "He just has to get used to the regimen, that's all. It's nothing the Goldenboy can't handle. I really don't know how Charon managed to do all that *and* train under you at the same time."
          Just then a rowdy chorus of shouts and catcalls were heard a few tables down. Not surprisingly enough, the culprits behind the noise were male Maze and Jyako Amano. Both of them were laughing themselves silly as they pointed at one of the Planet Hentai customers.
          "You have got to be kidding me!" Maze chortled. "Of all the possible Anime out there, someone from the Ping Pong Club's here?!"
          "Who did you have to bribe in order to get past the Gold-Uniform Delmos?" Jyako laughed, slapping ping pong team captain Takeda on the back. "And what was the bribe?"
          "Now see here," Takeda said, trying to restrain himself. "I was on the guest list, and I didn't bribe anyone to get onto it."
          "You?" Maze remarked incredulously. "A poorly-drawn character from a show that relies solely on crude toilet humour? Ha! What a joke."
          "Um...Jyako? Maze?" Havoc piped up, trying to signal the racaucious guys. "I don't think you want to be doing this."
          "Don't worry, Havoc," Maze assured the Hentenno. "We'll take care of this loser."
          At that, Takeda stood up from his chair and slammed his hands on the table "Hey!" he snapped. "No matter what sort of Anime I hail from, I am not a loser!"
          "Oh really?" Jyako replied.
          Maze shrugged. "So he claims. I'm betting he couldn't even bribe a Delmo girl with a lemonfic, because he's got such a short little harigata."
          Takeda's face went furiously red.
          "It's got to be a chibi," Jyako agreed. "See, I'll prove just how pathetic it is!" And with that, Jyako yanked down the pants of Ping Pong club's captain.

Jyako: "Ha! How's that for--(o.O;;) S-Sugoi...."

          "Well?" Takeda inquired crossly, folding his arms over his chest.
          Jyako and Maze immediately bowed low to the ground and shuffled back. "I...I apologize," they groveled.
          Havoc-kun sighed. "I tried to warn them. Why else would a member of the Ping Pong Club be in here?"
          Totally chagrined, Jyako slunk back to the Benkyo Brigade's booth, while Maze took to chasing Tiara across the dance floor. Kintaro joined the group shortly after, a heavy load of files hitting the table with a dull "thud!"
          "Busy night?" Havoc asked.
          Kintaro nodded. "New applications for joining the Benkyo Brigade have been cropping up all over the place since you returned as Hentenno. It's all I can do to keep up with the lists!"
          "Aw, poor Kintaro," Minni May cooed, running the tip of her index finger up & down his chest. "I'll have to revitalize you in a private Jello Pit later tonight."
          Kintaro perked up (in more ways than one) when he heard that.
          Havoc grinned, chugging back the contents of his stein of Creamy Ale.
          "Ne ne," Toshinden's Sofia said into Havoc's ear as she leaned over the back of the booth. "Bouncing bosoms of justice coming your way, Hentenno-sama."
          "Kekko Kamen's here already?" Havoc remarked, checking his wristwatch.
          "No, over there."
          The Benkyo Brigade looked out across the club, and saw a very familiar Boomer girl jiggling towards them. Variable Geo waitresses gawked as Pandemonium gave a Gainax bounce that put them all to shame.

Meifong: "Aiya, and I thought mine were huge! And I even have Taffei in here too."

          "Pan-chan!" Havoc said cheerfully, waving her over. "How's my favourite Sexaroid doing tonight? Did you want to play with those robot things from Sexorcist again?"
          Pan-chan's face went pink. "Otoka-san!" she exclaimed, nervously looking around. "Please don't say that so loudly in public."
          Havoc merely shrugged in response. "Well, it's true: you've put more mileage on those things than the rest of the club combined."
          "Otoka-saaaaaaan!"
          Megumi giggled as she watched Pandemonium squirm in embarrassment. "So what brings you here? The Strip Mahjong tournament won't be starting until midnight tonight."
          Pan-chan cleared her throat and tried to regain some of her authority. That failed somewhat when she stood up straight, only to have everyone's heads bob up & down in synch with the subsequent jiggle of her bosoms.
          "I'm here on unofficial AD Police business, actually. You do realize that you're breaking fire safety regulations by having this many people inside a space made for only two thousand at best." Pandemonium glanced uneasily over her shoulder as a large tentacle monster with the nametag 'Hello My Name is Muffin' lurched by her. "Better make that one thousand five hundred for max. capacity, if there's more of those guys oozing their way around."
          "Um...that was actually a female tentacle monster, I think," Megumi corrected.
          Kintaro scratched his head. "Really? And here I always thought that all female sex monsters were just succubi." His eyebrow twitched as he saw Muffin the tentacle monster veer off towards the bathrooms.

Jyako Amano: "Only they know the difference." Kintaro: "Kind of a moot point if you're on the receiving end of the tendril, isn't it?"

          "Look, Otoka-san," Pandemonium stated in no uncertain terms. "It's been a long day for me. I'm tired, I need my endoskeleton's hydraulics inspected, and what's more Happosai just stole my panties!!"

Happosai: ^-^ [bounding across the tables!] "Glorious, silken Sexaroid treasures!"

          "Delinquent!" Pandemonium shouted after Happosai, deploying one of her arm cannons and unleashing a laser blast after the pint-sized martial arts master. However she only succeeded in blasting a hole through the karaoke machine as Happosai got away unscathed.
          But since it was Big Momma who happened to be horribly butchering the song "Datte Daisuki!" at the time, no one complained.
          "As I've been trying to say for an entire page now," Pandemonium resumed. "You've exceeded the maximum capacity for this building. I'm going to have to impose a stiff fine and clear out the premises immediately. If you fail to comply, I'll call in the AD Police and--"
          She was just about to make good on her threat when abruptly she beeped. "Excuse me," she said, turning away from the booth. "Incoming call."
          Her ears abruptly extended, resembling long sloping fins as she connected with the transmission. "Moshi moshi...Largo-chan!...Hai...You're where?...With what?...(o.O;;) I'll bring the Boomeroid lubricants. Be there in five."
          Pandemonium's antenna retracted, and she turned back to face the Benkyo Brigade. A sincere smile was on her face as she stammered, "A-Ano ne...Otoka-san, about that threat I made to close Planet Hentai?"
          Havoc sighed and tossed her a set of keys to one of the private nyotaimori rooms. "Knock yourselves up--er, out." Pan-chan: ^^v [jiggling down the aisles!] "Wai!"

          "And yet another possible blow to hentai averted yet again," Havoc remarked as he watched her bounce across the dance floor. "It's good to be me."
          Jyako abruptly made a sour expression. "Don't speak so soon. Useless purple, perverted ninja at ten o'clock."
          Sure enough, much to the Benkyo Brigade's lament, NinNin cam bounding up to their booth. "I've got this great idea for you, Hentenno!" NinNin said with a grin, barely able to stand with his head showing above the table. "You can start this great band!"
          "NinNin, I'm already the lead singer for the H Club 7," Havoc said. "In fact, I'm called Bono Voc."
          Yet NinNin wouldn't take a hint and persisted. "But think about you and your 'chan' self going solo. The act can be called: Cherality, and Sonny Boner!"
          There was a moment of horrified silence at the booth.
          "Let me kill him, Havoc," Jyako finally said with a maniacal grin on his face. "Just please let me kill him."
          Havoc winced, pinching his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "And that, my deluded dingbat, is why I'm the Laguvulia and you're merely Crystal Pepsi."

NinNin: [???] "What are you talking about, Hentenno?"

          "NinNin, how can I properly convey this to you?" Havoc said. After a moment of consideration he began to draw his comparisons between them. "You're a couple of tentacles short of a tingle, NinNin. If our levels of perversion were Anime, I would be Doji: Final Inferno, and you would be the Twisted Tales of Tokyo dub. You are the Akiocar of hentai, NinNin. No wait...I take that back. You're the dipstick of the Akiocar. You stand no chance."
          NinNin blinked a few times at Havoc, pondering this new turn of events. Then he grinned and gave the Benkyo Brigade the V-sign. "Hentenno-sama, you're such a kidder!"
          No longer in the mood to entertain the purple twit, Havoc pointed towards a pair of doors now standing on either side of NinNin. "You know the drill," he stated.
          "Ha! No problem," NinNin laughed haughtily. "I've got it covered this time around." He turned around and shouted loudly across the club, "Yo, Tako-boy, you've got to pick the door for me and walk through it!"
          Charon scowled as he heard his name so rudely called. He looked up from the line of Ataru Moroboshi's underwear he had been drying in the back corner of the club, shuddering at some of the skid marks he still hadn't managed to get out--even when using a toothbrush or the belt sander.
          He shuffled over to the Benkyo Brigade booth, unwilling to look any of his former equals in the eye. Being demoted from Ecchi-chan, Havoc's personal acolyte, to the understudy of NinNin and Ataru was the most humiliating ordeal he'd ever experienced. It wasn't his fault that the Moxibustier curse had turned him, like everyone else, against Havoc.
          Why did he have to suffer so much, while Havoc allowed the others to return to their former positions (both in office and in the bed)?
          With a dejected sigh he asked, "What is it?"
          NinNin tried smacking Charon upside the head, but since he was so short he could only bodyglove Charon's back. "Is that any way to talk your superior? You shall address me as I instructed you to."
          Charon bit down on his tongue. "Yes, your mighty glorification of all that is creamy and lemon-filled, Sir."
          NinNin was relishing this moment. "Now, I have on either side of me a door. One is the Yuri Door. The other is the Yaoi Door--and we both know what lies beyond there. You, sashimi-meat, must choose for me. If you choose correctly, I will take the reward all for my own. If you choose poorly, you alone shall receive the due punishment."
          "Gee, thanks." Abruptly a thin smile broadened across Charon's face. "Sorry," he said. "But I'm currently working for Ataru at the moment. The timeshare thing you and he have, remember. You can abuse me in--" He consulted his watch. "--twenty minutes, but until then...*sigh!* I'm Ataru's bitch."
          It was all Charon could do from breaking down and sniffling at the hell his perverted life had become.
          "Sorry, NinNin," Havoc stated. "You need to choose NOW."
          NinNin was beside himself. "What? You mean I have to do this all by myself?!"
          "Hai," Charon replied, already walking away with an unexpected bounce in his step. "Good luck, NinNin-sama. We wouldn't want a new orifice violated now, would we?"
          "Impudent student," NinNin growled. "He'll get his when he's mine; I've got some panty raids for him to perform on Eva Braun from Kishin Corps. Now then, I'm sure I can conquer this."
          He turned to the two doors, carefully examining each one. The Benkyo Brigade watched his ponderings with amused interest. Finally NinNin smacked a fist into his palm. "I have it!" he proclaimed, immediately heading towards the Yaoi Door.
          But just as he reached for the doorknob, NinNin stopped. He warily looked at the shiny brass knob, and then up at the 'YAOI' sign on the door. "Oh ho ho ho," he chuckled, wagging his finger at the door. "Very clever. But not clever enough."
          He turned and strolled confidently over to the 'YURI' door. But then just as he reached for the doorknob, he stopped and examined it. NinNin chuckled again, wagging his finger at the door. "Oh no, I'm not going to be fooled by that sign-switching tactic again."
          NinNin turned and confidently walked back over the Yaoi Door. However he froze yet again and then decided on walking back over to the Yuri Door. But just as he was about to turn the doorknob, he laughed at the cunningness of it all and retreated back over to the Yaoi Door. Then just as he was about to open the Yaoi Door, he stopped and smirked, then did yet another about-face.
          Whereupon Havoc yanked on a pan-dimensional rope hanging next to his head, and opened up a Yaoi trapdoor right where NinNin was standing. With a shriek NinNin plummeted down to the tentacle-infested nether regions below.

Havoc: ^-^ "That was oddly satisfying."

Minni May: "The look on your face is totally orgasmic, Havoc. Can I pull the rope next time?"

          "Okay, if we've got a moment," Kintaro announced. "We have some orders of business to attend to."
          "Already?" Jyako sighed, putting his feet up on the table. "But we just finished doing Jun Ken Perv an hour ago."
          Kintaro just gave them all a helpless shrug. "This was the best I could do with so much other stuff to take care of. If we delay it now, we'll be backlogged for the next four days. We need to do those interviews with would- be inductees for the Benkyo Brigade."
          Everyone turned to Havoc for his approval. The Hentenno nodded, allowing for Kintaro to proceed. "Havoc- chan's busy teaching a 'Kai Awase OK' class, so she won't be here to vote for accepting new pledges."
          "Should we include Ryo Saeba and Carrot Glaces in this?" Megumi asked. "They are Benkyo Brigade trainees, after all. They should start learning about these sorts of functions; they'll be expected to do this once they're fully instated."
          Out of the corner of his eye, Havoc caught sight of Carrot and Ryo (having sparked the demonic wrath of KareKano's Yukino) trying to hide beneath Matael's fur coat.
          "Nah, let them have their fun for tonight," he said. "We'll take care of the formal stuff, and they can start learning the ropes--and kinky knots--in a few days. Kintaro, bring on the applicants!"
          "Hai!" Kintaro replied. He then added as an aside, "Just please let it not be A-ko, B-ko and C-ko again."
          Jyako gave Kintaro a funny look.
          "Don't ask," Kintaro lamented, laying his head on the table. "Just make the bad shoujo stop and leave me alone."
          "Maybe I should give you a reprieve," Megumi offered, taking up one of the clipboards at the top of Kintaro's stack of files. "First up...Mitsukake, from Fushigi Yuri-- I mean, Yugi."

Havoc: "So, what contributions could you make to the Benkyo Brigade?"

Mitsukake: "I have the power to heal people. That might come in handy if someone lands in the Jello pit the wrong way, or tries a Tantric yoga position too advanced for them."

Havoc: "Anything else?"

Mitsukake: ^^v "I could change my name the clever ecchi pun: Masukake!"

Havoc: --;; "Next."

          Megumi cleared her throat and picked up another clipboard. She scanned the application form for a name. "Next up, we have...oh brother. Vegita, from DBZ."
          Havoc rolled his eyes.
          "Another Dragonbarf Z flunkie," Jyako groaned. "What is it with muscle-heads trying to be uberpervs?"
          "Don't you classify as a muscle-head, what with all your powers?" Minni May asked.
          Jyaku staunchly shook his head. "Not a chance. Unlike some people, I don't take ten episodes to throw just one punch. Five minutes of me kicking ass, and any battle's over, baby."
          He then turned his head, glaring at Vegita as the Super-Saiyan approached the booth.
          Vegita gave Jyako an arrogant sneer. "Ha! You pervs are such sissies when compared to my awesome Super Saiyan strength!"
          "Really, I'm sitting here daunted by your powers," Havoc said in a deadpan voice. "So just what do you think you can offer the Benkyo Brigade, monkeyboy?"

Vegita: "Hmph! Just watch this: when I get in, I'm going to change my name to Vagi--"

Havoc: >( "DILDO BRAND!!"

Vegita: o.O;;

          "Wow, you must have blown him a good seven klicks into the sky," Kintaro remarked as he gazed up at the Vegita-shaped hole in the ceiling. "Bet Vegita's going to sulk for another seventeen episodes over being defeated by a phallic-shaped incantation."
          "We lose more applicants that way," Minni May sighed, leaning back in the booth. "Yare yare, given NinNin and our potential pledges, the next generation of Benkyo Brigadeers is going to be few and far between."
          Kintaro reached out and took hold of the next application on the stack. "Maybe we'll get lucky with the next one," he offered. His optimism died a swift and horribly violent death when he read the applicant's name aloud. "And our next applicant is...Chibiusa?!"
          Jyako tore the application form from Kintaro's hand, crunching the paper in his grip as he stared at it in disbelief. "What sort of a sick-assed joke is this?!"
          But evidently this was no joke (other than Chibiusa's existence itself), as the young pink-haired moffat can skipping down between the rows of tables. The first victim to suffer her yammy presence was Happosai, who was busy bounding across the tabletops with his latest purloined panty.

Happosai: ^-^ "Ha ha! So many silken undies, so little time!"

Chibiusa: ^^v "Konban wa!"

Happosai: o.O; [erk!]

          Upon coming face to face with Chibiusa, Happosai clutched his chest and keeled over. "C-Chest pains!" he rasped in a hoarse voice, his twitching body trying to move itself away from her. "Must...touch feminine flesh...to avert heart attack!"
          Chibiusa calmly stepped over Happosai, making her way to the Benkyo Brigade's booth.
          "You do realize that killing a Benkyo Brigade member automatically disqualifies you as an applicant," Havoc stated, very cross with her. In fact, nailing her to Lilith's cross wasn't such a bad idea.
          "But Hentenno-sama, I'm trying to make peace with you and the Benkyo Brigade," Chibiusa said. She beamed and in a sing-song voice added, "In fact, I can now perform something that'll make you very very happy!"
          "If she says she's going to use those yam tufts of hair as dildos, I got dibs on pounding her kidneys," Megumi stated.
          Minni-May just kept silent and polished one of her lipstick-kissed grenades, her index finger poised next to the cotterpin.
          Havoc sighed and slumped in his seat. "Well, you did go through all the paperwork, so we should at least indulge you. Give me a reason why you should be a Benkyo Brigade member--and it had better be good."
          "Naturally!"
          Chibiusa scanned Planet Hentai's interior, searching for a proper victim to demonstrate on. And as luck would have it, at that exact moment NinNin was busy crawling back out through the Yaoi trapdoor, a naughty tentacle still wriggling up his pant leg.

NinNin: "I...shall...prevail!!!"

Minni May: "He's very tenacious, isn't he?"

Havoc: --;; "Unfortunately, yes."

          "Perfect!" Chibiusa exclaimed happily. "He'll do nicely."
          "Well, she does get some points for her choice of victim," Kintaro said. Everyone in the Benkyo Brigade glared at him. "But we're still going to have to zorch her, of course."
          Chibiusa summoned her powers, her locket opening up and magically transforming her into Sailor Chibi-Moon. Everyone screamed and looked away lest they catch a nekkid flash of the prepub's silhouetted body.
          "Perfect," Sailor Chibi-Moon said, examining her way- too-revealing magical girl fashion ensemble. She then turned on NinNin and unleashed--

Sailor Chibi-Moon: "Dragon Pink Sugar...Heart Attack!!"

NinNin: "I...shall...na ni?!"

          [Cue NinNin getting attacked by a pink, heart-shaped Dildo Cobra erupting from Chibi-Moon's magic sceptre, accompanied by annoying midi music!]

          Now while it was rather humourous to see NinNin get thoroughly molested as he fought with the Dildo Cobra, this wasn't exactly making a good sort of impression on the Benkyo Brigade. Everyone slowly inched away from Havoc as they noticed one of his eyebrows begin to twitch.
          Abruptly a little scrolling text menu, not unlike one from a shoujo videogame, appeared next to Havoc:

                    Chibiusa is annoying you.

                    Do you:
                    A) Ignore
                    B) Squeeze
                    C) Kill

          Havoc consulted his options and weighed them all very carefully. "Let's see now, I should give the Yamhead a good...."

                    A) Ignore
                    B) Squeeze
                    C) Kill          <=====

Havoc: ^^v "A good killing!"

Il Palazzo-sama: "Excellent choice. I've used that often times myself."

          Havoc turned to Chibiusa, stretching out his arms. The air around him started to glow as it became charged with his Hentai Battle Aura. With a shout Havoc proclaimed: "Hyaku cho yo ecchi gyo!"
          And thusly did he invoke the aerial strike of the 100 pinching hentai's!

          [Cue the swarm of chibi-Havocs, racing towards Sailor Chibi-Moon & armed with long pinching chopsticks!]

chibi-Havocs: >) "Hotcha!"

Sailor Chibi-Moon: "Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

          Needless to say, the chibi-Havocs fell upon Sailor Chibi-Moon and immediately began using the tips of their chopsticks to pinch whatever bits of her they could. Try as she might to shake them off, Sailor Chibi-Moon was at their mercy.
          As Chibi-Moon met her pinching demise, Havoc's new (and rather ruthless) Ecchi-chan strolled into the room. Lohengrope's presence caused a number of the ladies to swoon, sending some of the Variable Geo girls off-course and careening into random tables or dancers.
          The impossibly blonde bishie glanced over his shoulder as he heard Sailor Chibi-Moon's shrieks, accompanied by the loud sounds of chopsticks pinching her various body parts. One of his eyebrows went up.
          "Havoc-tono, what exactly is this?" he inquired, gesturing towards the spectacle.
          "I'm doing the Sailormoon universe a favour," Havoc replied with a smile. He looked over at Cameraman Dan. "We getting all this on film?"

Cameraman Dan: ^^v "Hai, Hentenno-sama!"

          "Why bother dirtying your hands with such trivial things as dispatching of unnatural sukebe wanna-be's?" Lohengrope asked. "I could have ordered someone else to dispose of the Yamhead for you."
          Havoc gave Lohengrope a pointed look. "You would have called in an orbital strike and nuked Planet Hentai just to get rid of her."
          "And?" Lohengrope asked, missing the point.
          "I like my establishment right where it is, thank you very much," Havoc said. "Look, I have no problem with you taking care of undesirables like the Yamhead. Just don't destroy the premises in the process."
          Lohengrope bowed cordially. "I understand, Havoc- tono." He looked back at Sailor Chibi-Moon, who was frantically trying to outrun the pinching chibi-Havocs. "She seems to be taking longer to die than expected. Mind if I?"
          "Be my guest," Havoc offered.
          Lohengrope gave a quick appraisal of Planet Hentai's clubbing area, noting the various location of furniture, doors and people. Then in an unexpected move, he wordlessly walked over to the front double doors and flung them open.
          "Sailor Chibi-Moon!" he called out, dramatically making his presence known as the draft blew his cloak into the air behind him. "You can escape this way! Hurry! I'll stop the chibi-Havocs for you!"
          The entire Benkyo Brigade gawked at Lohengrope like he'd gone insane. Havoc didn't mirror their disbelief, but he was definitely curious.
          Sailor Chibi-Moon shook off as many chibi-Havocs as she could, and then raced towards the exit. She started to gain momentum as she smacked the final chibi-Havoc off her back, and then scampered down the front steps.
          "Made it!" she exclaimed in relief as she dashed over the sidewalk and onto the road.

Akiocar: *HONK!*

Sailor Chibi-Moon: o.O;;

          *WHAM!!*

          The red Stingray convertible that was Akio Ohtori's prized car came to a screeching halt as a small sailor fuku-clad pink thing crashed into the front grill and then bounced off the hood. This agitated Akio to no end, since he had been lounging topless on the hood of the car at the time--and one of Sailor Chibi-Moon's yam-shaped tufts of hair had rammed right into his crotch.
          "N-Na ni?!" he shouted as the Akiocar lurched to a stop. Clutching his groin, he hobbled cross-legged over to where the quite deceased Sailor Yamhead lay. His eyes widened as he saw her body. "Masaka! I hit a little girl!"
          He knelt down next to her, running his hands down her face. "Hmmmm...there's still time. I can boink her if I get back to Ohtori Academy before she gets cold!"
          That said, Akio scooped Chibiusa's corpse up in his arms and eagerly raced back to the Akiocar. He gently set her down in the passenger's seat and then leapt into the driver's chair. "Now then, I shall show her the End of the World!"
          A predatory smile pulled at Lohengrope's mouth as he then spoke into his comm unit, "You may fire when ready, Mittomier."
          Seconds later a large missile came screaming down between Tokyo's skyscrapers, detonating as it smashed into to the Akiocar. A deafening explosion rocked the streets, an enormous plume of fire and smoke erupting from the gaping crater. As everyone scrambled back to avoid the blast of heat and debris, Lohengrope calmly stood his ground and appraised the kill zone.
          Only the front end of the Akiocar from the windshield onwards managed to survive the bombing, the remains of the frame perched upon the rim of the smouldering hole in the road. The warbling of a mutilated car alarm could be heard coming from beneath the hood.
          Yes, in a much unexpected turn of events, not only had Chibiusa been smited, but Akio as well! Not to mention NinNin got nailed twice too.
          And there was much rejoicing.

Throngs of jubilant people: ^-^ "WAI!!!"

          The loud cheers, and subsequent free rounds of Mello Jello offered to all Planet Hentai patrons in celebration, roused Anarchy from her sleep. She yawned, baring her li'l fangs in the process, and stretched out her arms as she rose from her large array of throw pillows located next to the karaoke stage.
          Havoc figured he might as well accommodate her, since she spent so much time in the karaoke bar anyways. This way she would shuffle off to nap...as opposed to drunkenly trashing the establishment on her way out to find another bar which hadn't been drained of its Sake yet.
          "What's all the racket about?" she muttered, rubbing her eyes. She glanced at Tasuki, who was still sound asleep next to her. "Is it happy hour already?"
          She began to smile as news of the free rounds reached her ears. Leaning back, she propped herself up with her elbows, mashing them against her Puchuu Bear throw pillow. Anarchy had sewn it herself...using an actual Puchuu Bear in the process. Happily she had managed to keep its disturbingly cute face as opposed to the nightmarish Nixon expression it made whenever it got its ass whupped.
          "Sounds like the evening's finally worth getting up for," she remarked.
          "CHU CHU!"
          Anarchy looked to Rampage, who was now awake and happily sitting upon her own Mokona throw pillow (made from real Mokona).

Mokona throw pillow: ;_; "Puuuuuu...."

          Anarchy scratched the SD Godzilla-thingy beneath the chin, Rampage's tail happily thumping against what had once been the demonic marshmallow thingy/god of Cephiro. "I've got a bar I have to pillage, Rampage-chan," she said. "Be a good little girl, and find some annoyingly cute mascot to snack on while I'm gone. Ne?"
          Rampage flashed her an evil, fanged grin. "CHU!"


          [End!]



Desolation: ^-^ "Yes! And for once, the 'Wu' actually survives to the end!"

Fairy Godbabbit: "Good for you! Um...why are the hundred pinching hentai's heading this way?"

Chibi-Havocs: >) [with chopsticks!] "Hotcha!"

Desolation: o.O; "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Fairy Godbabbit: "Kids, never try this at home. This is done in a closed set by professional immortals. Oh, watch out for you pancreas, Deso! Your pancreas!"



Thanks to:

Havoc (gee, what a surprise there! ;), for helping out with a number of the random sight gags & ecchi puns at the Planet Hentai.

Sarcasm, for helping out with creating the poll...and expecting me to make good on my word & write a fic about the winning victim. Long may she revel in her bishie harem!




Back to the Fics